Part II

Something about this seemed wrong. Completely wrong. Didn't Subaru belong to Seishirou? And role playing as Hokuto and Seishirou- wasn't that taking advantage of him? Everything about the first chapter was wrong anyway. No point in trying to sort matters.

After dinner, Fuuma escorted the two Dragons of Heaven into his apartment. They slid off their shoes and set them by the door. Kamui was astounded by how well kept the place was. He kind of expected the living room to be infested with cockroaches and for furniture to be turned over. Oh, and maybe a few broken windows. Then again, Fuuma had always been very neat, despite the fact that he was no longer the same Fuuma. Also, he probably didn't live in his apartment very often.

"Wow Seishirou-san! This place looks great. It's nice and big, too."

"I'm glad you like it, Subaru-kun. Please, make yourself comfortable. As you, Hokuto-chan."

Kamui paused and then remembered his role. "Oh, right...um..." Think hyperactive. Didn't she like sweets? "Sei-chan, do you have any...chocolate cake?"

"Of course I do. It's not often you two swing by my place, but it's always good to be prepared. I know you have a major sweet tooth."

"R-right...!" Kamui exited the living room and headed towards the kitchen. How much longer was Fuuma going to keep up with this facade? Poor Subaru. But at the same time, maybe this was good for him. While he's not out of it maybe he'll be able to- aw screw it. This wasn't helping at all.

Kamui pulled open the refridgerator door and was about to reach for the cake when the door bell rang. And it rang, and rang, and rang some more. Fuuma went to go answer it. He opened the door and standing there, with her girl scout uniform on, was Yuzuriha. She didn't notice who the man infront of her was. She gathered a few boxes in her arms and stood up straight.

"Here are the girl scout cookies you ordered, sir!" She gasped and dropped the boxes. "Aren't you a Dragon of Earth?"

"And aren't you annoying?" Fuuma raised his arm in an act to penetrate the girl from the Mitsumine Shrine, but was stopped short by her inugami companion. The dog sunk his teeth deep into Fuuma's leg. "I see your pet is overprotective as usual. You should teach him to heel or I'll teach him to play dead." His words were dripping with threats and promises.

"Ah, Inuki! Down boy." Yuzuriha leaned sideways and noticed that he was not alone. "Why are Subaru-san and Kamui-san with you? You haven't hurt them have you?"

"That's none of your business, little girl. And what the hell are you doing selling cookies at this hour?"

"Yuzuriha-chan? What are you doing here?" Subaru stood beside Fuuma who was now grinning.

"Subaru-san! Are you okay? Did this guy hurt you?"

"Did he hurt me? Oh, no. He actually treated Hokuto-chan and me to dinner."

"Yes, I did, didn't I?" He smirked.

"Oh well...While I'm here," She bent down once again and picked up some more boxes. "these are for you. You ordered some."

"Kind of late aren't they? I ordered some two years ago."

Yuzuriha glared and shoved the boxes at him. "Don't fucking sass me." She gave Subaru a hug and skipped off with the rest of the cookies. "Tell Kamui-san I said hey!"

Kamui walked over and stared at the two in the doorway. "Who was that?"

"It was-"

"No one you know, Hokuto-chan, I'm sure." Fuuma grabbed Kamui by his arm and dragged him out of the room. "Let's get this over with. I've been waiting for a long time for this. Then I'll have Subaru."

"Augh! Let go of me!"

"Don't even pretend you don't want this, Kamui. It was why we decided to meet afterall, wasn't it?"

"Yes-I mean, no!...What I wanted was-"

Fuuma jerked the boy closer and leaned in. "What you wanted was for me to screw and abuse you. Maybe kill you afterwards. Isn't that your wish?"

Meanwhile, Subaru decided it best if he lay off the booze. He flopped on the couch and watched some TV. Nothing was on so he fell asleep, but soon awoke when he heard a choking scream. "Kamui!" He lept off the couch and ran towards the startling screams.

Mysteriously, a bucket was inserted out of nowhere and placed right infront of the onmyouji. He saw it but before he could do anything, his foot already landed inside which caused him to lose balance and slip. He fell down a flight of stairs, tumbling to his doom. His clothes shredded, leaving him naked. He finally landed at Fuuma and Kamui's feet. The two exchanged looks and helped him up. "Uh, um. Subaru! You're naked! Now I'm going to have to come up with another...outfit to match your gloves...!"

Subaru coughed. "You can stop with the Hokuto act."

"What?"

"That's right. You two are dellusional if you think I fell for it for a second."

Kamui mentally kicked himself. 'So he was playing along with us, too? That means he was aware of my foolishness. Why did I do that in the first place?'

Fuuma crossed his arms and whistled. "It's a good thing you're already naked. It saves me the trouble of undressing you. You'll have to wait though, Kamui needs his punishment first."

"You're disgusting!" Subaru shoved Fuuma down another flight of stairs and laughed maniacally. "That'll teach him!"

"Fuuma!"

"I'm Kaaa-muu-iiii!"

Kamui quickly turned around to face Subaru. "Why did you do that? You could have...killed him!"

"I'm...I'm sorry Kamui. Sometimes my arms have a mind of their own...and...they push people. And sometimes my voicebox has a mind of its own and makes me laugh evilly. I'm truly sorry...can you...ever...forgive me!" He fell to his knees and sobbed. Kamui lowered himself and comforted him. He rubbed his back.

"It's okay, Subaru. I had no idea you had that...impulsive problem..."

"Tee hee! I'm just fucking with ya!" He smiled brightly which earned him a giggle from Kamui.

"Subaru! You rascal, you!" Kamui punched Subaru on the shoulder, causing him to vomit up the booze he had consumed earlier.

Fuuma weezed and clung to the railing. He had just finished climbing back up the stairs. Kamui and Subaru looked at him and noticed a look of horror in his eyes. "You guys...can't be here."

"What do you mean? You invited Subaru and me here."

"That's...It's my land lady. She's...coming up here to inspect my room. If she sees you two here...I'll be done for."

"Ohhh, I get it. It's because this is a one man apartment and you've only been paying for yourself. So if she sees us she'll-"

"NO! Not that! She...has this huge crush on me. If she saw you two here...she'd rip my balls off!"

Subaru, not being one to handle stress, curled up on the floor and played with his toes. Kamui flailed his arms while he was lifted over Fuuma's head. Fuuma declared he should flush Kamui down the toilet, but Kamui protested and said that he could leave through the front door like any normal person. Yuzuriha ditched the cookies and flew to the moon.

What will happen to our heros? And how bad is Fuuma's land lady? Find out next time!

TBC

Hmmm. I hope the lot of you understand that these stories aren't meant to be taken seriously. Heh heh heh. Later on...I might make the plot thicken. (WTF? What plot?) Some of you are probably wondering 'What plot?' and you're right in wondering. There is some point to this story...albeit a very small point. And now...I would like to thank ALL the many reviewers!

L- Thanks, brother. You made sure you were the first to review this! That...That means a lot. (Doesn't mean a thing :D) But seriously, you're my beta-baka which makes you a somebody! (Claps)

Katie- I'll never understand the "pinkmonkeybomber" name, but it's beautiful regardless. Thank you for reviewing...and...no, this will NOT be a one hit wonder! Yay for me! Make sure you read her fics, everyone! They're lovely!

And thank you those of you who read it, but...were...too...intimidated to reply? I promise I won't hunt you down. I just promise to have Seishirou hunt you down. Wheet whoo! (Fai)

Byeeeeee!