Chapter Twenty-Five: All That We Needed
Maybe we're all that we needed
Jay
"Why are you even still here?" I glared at Sean. Ellie was finally able to go home. The delivery was successfully stopped, and it was finally Sunday. Sean was standing by the front entrance as I wheeled her out.
"That baby might be mine, and until I find out for sure, I'm not going anywhere," he answered, pointing at Ellie.
"Just stop," she said from the wheelchair. "I don't want to hear your crap. Both of you." Sean immediately shut his mouth and I just pushed her out to my car, helping her get in.
"You want a ride?" I asked Sean. We weren't friends anymore. And we probably never would be again, but I would play nice when Ellie was around. I didn't want her to go through anymore stress.
"No thanks. I gotta go to work anyway. I'll see you later, okay Ellie?" I watched as he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. I wanted to punch him, and I felt my hands ball up into fists, but I held back. I tried to ignore him as I got in the car and drove back to Ellie's.
"So, the doctor said that you can go to school as long as you avoid anything stressful," I told her on the way.
"Yeah, like school won't be stressful," she replied sarcastically.
"I'll be there to help you," I promised, grabbing onto her hand.
"Thanks," she said, squeezing it. She leaned over and put her head on my shoulder, closing her eyes. "Have you heard anything about Jordan?" she asked me.
"Nope. The police have talked to Simpson, but he won't tell us anything. Alex is doing better though. She's really grateful, especially to you. If you hadn't come up with that plan, she'd probably still be getting drunk every night. It's hard for her not to, but she's trying," I explained.
"I'm glad. But you all deserve credit too. I obviously couldn't have carried out the plan myself." She let out a small chuckle before sighing.
"What's wrong?" I asked. We'd just pulled in her driveway, and I saw tears falling from her eyes.
"Jay, just tell me that everything's gonna be okay. I mean, really okay. No matter what," she said, sitting up to look at me.
I leaned forward and kissed her softly before whispering in her ear.
"I promise you Ellie. We'll get through this. And everything's gonna be great."
I watched a smile form on her face and I kissed her one more time. Even though Sean and I were pretty much enemies, I was grateful for one thing he did. I was glad he left Ellie, because if he hadn't, we would have never been like this. And I don't think I would have ever fallen for her.
"I love you Ellie," I whispered into her lips. We pulled apart and she just stared at me. I couldn't tell what the look on her face was supposed to be—it was completely straight. She didn't look surprised, upset, or happy. She just stared.
I waited for her to say it back.
But she never did.
JT
"I'm sorry Emma," I said, sitting down on her bed. I finally gathered the courage to visit her. Her parents let me in and told me where she was.
"For what?" she whispered.
"For the way I made everyone find out about what happened."
"It's not your fault JT. I know you were just trying to get back at Toby. Thanks." She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight. I could feel all of her bones and I got even more upset.
"Em?"
"Yeah?" she asked, pulling away and looking at me.
"You have to get better," I told her. "We all love you. You know that, right?" I asked.
"Of course," she nodded. I could tell that she was trying not to cry. "I'm trying, and that's all I can do."
"I know. I just wish everything would go back to the way it used to be," I said, sighing.
"They can't. We'll never get back to where we were in grade seven. But it's no one's fault," she said, giving me a small smile.
"You're right," I agreed. "Hey, why don't we go to the movies with Manny? We can see Paige at work for a minute, and then enjoy something for once," I suggested.
"That sounds great." She hugged me one more time, then stood up and grabbed my hand to pull me up the stairs after her. "What should we see?"
Spinner
I knew Sean was working at an auto shop near the hospital, and I talked to Ellie to find out that he was at work today. I decided to pay him a little visit. Even though I'd dropped the subject with Emma, I hadn't forgotten that he kissed her.
"Cameron, we need to talk," I said, trying my best to hide my anger. It wasn't working too well. Sean and I hadn't been friends at all, and even though I'd pretty much taken his place in his friendship with Jay, that didn't make me like the guy.
I watched as he asked his boss for a break, and then followed him out back where there was no one around. As soon as the door closed behind him, I ran forward, placed both of my palms flat on his chest, and pushed him hard until he hit the wall behind him.
"What's your problem?" he yelled, shoving me back. I pinned him against the wall and got in his face.
"Do you have any IDEA what Emma went through?" I yelled right back, probably spitting all over him. "And you fucking went into her HOSPITAL room and forced a kiss on her? Have you ever been RAPED before Sean? Do you know what that feels like?"
He stayed completely silent. Maybe he hadn't known. I wasn't really sure, but that didn't give him an excuse to kiss her in the first place.
"I know what happened," he said quietly. "But I didn't think…" I interrupted him before he could say anything else.
"That's your problem! You never think, do you?" I still had him pinned. Luckily for me, his boss didn't come looking for him.
"You don't even know me!" he shouted. "I wasn't trying to upset her okay? I just…" he trailed off, looking away. I let go of him and put a little distance between us. I didn't want to do something I'd regret later.
"You just what?" I asked, staring at him, waiting for an explanation.
"I still have feelings for her, okay?" he yelled, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Well, get rid of them. Because I'm her boyfriend, not you. And you'll regret it if you ever lay a hand on her again," I warned him.
"Yeah, I get it," he snapped, looking very annoyed. I'd been on my way around the building, but then something occurred to me. I turned back and started at him again.
"Is that why you're back?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. He looked down at the ground then back up at me, but never said anything. "She'll never go back to you. So just forget about it."
I walked away, thankful that I hadn't lost it and punched him. I didn't need Emma angry with me again, because I knew she'd think I was being too aggressive. But I had to figure out how to get rid of Sean.
Marco
I held Tim's hand as hard as I could and didn't let go. We were walking down the hallway, looking for the right room number. I decided to wait until the weekend to visit my father, and even then, I'd stretched the wait out until today. Tim wouldn't let me wait until next weekend, so it was now or never.
We finally reached the room and I froze. I wasn't sure if I was really ready to go in. Tim squeezed my hand reassuringly before letting go, and lightly pushing me forward. I gripped the door handle—it felt cold in my hands—and turned it, pushing the door open and stepping inside. Tim and I agreed ahead of time that he would wait outside for me, and I could leave whenever I wanted to. With that comfort in my mind, I stepped towards my father's bed.
Everything was completely silent. My mom was at home, resting. I was scared out of my mind when my dad started coughing. The room filled with the sound, and I wanted to turn and run out. I couldn't stand hearing it. And my entire body was shaking. I still didn't know if he even wanted me there.
"Dad?" I finally whispered, still standing a few feet from the bed. His eyes flew open, and he sighed when he saw me.
"Marco…I didn't want you to come," he said sadly, confirmed my suspicions.
"I'll go then," I said, turning away.
"No! Wait!" I felt him grab for my arm, but his hand slipped away. He was weak, and I hated him seeing like this. I crossed my arms over my chest and tried not to cry. Making myself look angry was easier than crying. "I didn't want you to come because…I've been ashamed…"
"Of who I am?" I asked.
"No Marco," he sighed again. "I've been ashamed of how I treated you. I love you Marco."
I couldn't hold back. I started to cry, and I didn't really care. I hugged him and he actually hugged back as best as he could. I wondered if he was telling me the truth, but then again, my father never lied to me. And he never would.
"Dad…"
"I'm sorry," he said before breaking out into another coughing fit. I cried harder as he took my hand and motioned for me to sit down.
We sat in silence for a long time. I held his hand while he fell asleep, but I didn't leave. We both needed that silence. It was our way of making sure everything would be okay. I waited for my mom to get back, kissed my dad on the forehead, and left with Tim.
I knew I'd be back every day.
Manny
Emma, JT, and I went to the movies. It was really fun, and I think we all needed it. We saw Paige and talked to her for a little while before the movie. There was no one in the theater, so we just made fun of the movie and threw popcorn at each other. Emma ate five pieces of it, which, as I'm told, is progress.
JT dropped Emma off first, and then me. When I got into the building, rather than go upstairs, I went to Jimmy's apartment. I felt bad for the way I talked to him online the other day, and I wanted to make it up to him. I wanted to end this stupid break. I shouldn't have done it in the first place.
"Come in!" I heard him yell. I tried the door, but the knob wouldn't turn.
"It's locked!" I yelled back. A minute later, I heard a click, and then the door opened. Jimmy's face dropped when he saw me. That was a bad sign.
"Can we talk?" I asked.
"Actually Manny, I'm a little busy."
I looked over his shoulder and saw a girl sitting on the couch. She smiled at me and waved. I'd never seen her before, and she looked like she was almost twenty-five.
"Who's she?" I whispered, my tone not exactly friendly.
"Does it matter?" he asked. "I thought being on a break meant we could see other people…"
I fought the tears that threatened to pour out of my eyes. He moved on? I never wanted this to happen. I wanted to be with him.
"But Jimmy!" I protested, wrapping my arms around myself and letting a few tears slip.
"Can we talk later?" he asked. I nodded—what else could I do?—and turned away just in time to hear the door slam behind me.
Ellie
I couldn't believe I was doing this—I was supposed to be avoiding stress, not walking right into it. My dad told me after I got home that the divorce was final today. And that I should go have a talk with my mother. He assured me that it wasn't all her fault, and that even they had made up.
After much begging and persuading, Jay agreed to go with me. He told me that he loved me this morning, but I didn't say it back. I felt bad, but I just couldn't say it. And he didn't hold it against me, which made things easier.
Luckily for both of us, Sean didn't come home right after work and wouldn't be nosing his way into this one. My mother never liked him anyway. I guess she was right about one thing.
I clung onto Jay's side as we walked up the driveway. We were having a quick dinner with her and…that guy. And then we'd leave as soon as we finished eating. I wasn't planning on actually sticking around to talk.
Jay knocked on the door because I couldn't bring myself to do it. My mother answered the door, Jay introduced himself, and I kept quiet as we sat down on the couch. That oh so familiar couch where my mom would pass out after drinking herself into oblivion. I shivered and Jay wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close to him.
"So…is he the father?" my mom asked, sitting in a chair across from us. It was never a chair we had. It was probably his.
My dad told her about my pregnancy, so I hadn't tried to hide it. I wore one of my white t-shirts stretched over my stomach and plain black pants. They were the only pants that fit me at the moment.
"Yes," I said quietly. Of course I wouldn't tell her that I wasn't sure. But I hadn't told my dad yet either.
"Oh." She didn't say anything else. But then he walked into the room.
"I'm Ben," he said, extending his hand to Jay, who politely shook it.
"Jay," he replied.
"Ellie, you already know Ben…" my mom said. I shot her a glare and moved even closer to Jay, taking his free hand in mine.
"So, is it a boy or girl?" he asked, sitting in the chair next to my mother's. Also not ours.
"It doesn't matter," I snapped. I was trying my best not to get worked up. I couldn't let the baby come too soon. "I'm giving it up for adoption," I added, looking away from both of them. I heard a small gasp come from my mother, and she was about to say something when Jay spoke up.
"Is dinner ready?" he asked. "I don't mean to be rude, but we have to get up early for school tomorrow. And Ellie's tired, so we shouldn't stay long." I squeezed his hand thankfully and couldn't believe how different he acted around parents. He was very polite.
"Yes, why don't we go sit at the table?" Ben agreed. He led the way, where I found new curtains and a new dining table. I scoffed at the sight. They really were making the home their own, weren't they?
We all sat down and stayed in silence until my mom brought out the food. Then the only noise was the clanging of our forks and knives.
"Ellie, I don't think you should give the baby up," my mom suddenly said once she'd finished. I nearly choked on my water, surprised by what she said.
"I'm seventeen. I still have a year of school left. Why would you even say that?" I asked her, gripping my fork. Jay laid a hand on my knee and gently squeezed it, letting me know he was there for me.
"Well, then you shouldn't have been having sex in the first place," she said, a somewhat disgusted look on her face. "Especially not unprotected," she added.
"I agree," Ben said.
"Who asked you?" I snapped.
"Ellie, calm down," Jay reminded me.
"You know what? Screw you both! You're lecturing me when I'm trying to do the RESPONSIBLE thing here? You're the ones who were having an affair! Do you think that's responsible?" I jumped up from my chair.
"We better go," Jay said. I could tell he was nervous. "Let's go Ellie. Just calm down…the baby…"
"You're right," I said, trying to stay calm. "Let's just go."
"Ellie, honey…" my mom protested, getting up too.
"Just leave me alone. I knew this was a mistake." I followed Jay out without another word, but I did manage to slam the door as hard as I could. And the glass broke at the top.
"Are you okay?" Jay asked as soon as we were back in the car, pulling out of the driveway.
"I don't know," I said, suddenly bursting into tears. "Jay, what if she's right?" I asked. "This is my fault. We shouldn't have…"
"It's not your fault El," he said, putting his hand on my knee. "It's mine."
"No, it's not!" I protested.
"Shhh, let's just go home," he said. I nodded and lay my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. I started to drift off with the sounds of the engine and Jay's breathing filling my ears.
Emma
As soon as I got back from the movies, I felt a little better about everything. I didn't want to go back to school the next day, but I knew that I would have to at some point. Might as well get it over with.
"Emma, we need to talk," my mom called out. They were in the kitchen. Great.
"What's up?" I asked, slowly sitting down at the table with them.
"Em, honey, we know that you're trying to eat more, but we talked to your doctor today, and all decided that you need to go to rehab," my dad said.
"What? Why?" I shouted, standing up. "I don't need to go there!"
"I know it's hard to understand, but we're only trying to do what's best for you. Emma, we want you to get better," my mom explained, tears in her eyes. "And it's just not possible to do it on your own."
I sunk back into the chair and sighed. They were right. I wasn't making all that much progress on my own. I made myself throw up last night after dinner. And no one knew it but me.
"What about school?" I asked. We'd only been in school for about a month, meaning there were about nine months left. And I really didn't want to have to stay behind a year.
"You won't have to miss school, we made sure of that. The center has an outpatient program, so you'll still be living at home. You just have to go every day after school until around eight o'clock. You have to attend group sessions and individual sessions with a doctor there. We're visiting tomorrow to get all the details," my mom explained.
"And I'll be talking to your teachers to let them know what's going on, in case you don't get all of your homework finished every night," Dad added. I groaned and put my head on the table.
"Now everyone will be talking about me, even the teachers."
"We know this will be hard, but we'll be here to help you through it, every step of the way," Mom assured me, moving over so she could hug me. I had a strong urge right then to run downstairs and throw up.
I let tears well up in my eyes and spill over. I cried for a long time while my parents just comforted me and told me everything would turn out fine. I wasn't sure if I believed them, but I knew that I had to try to stop what I was doing. I didn't want to die.
Alex
Craig and I hadn't talked since out fight. Both of us stayed in our rooms at home and avoided each other at school. The only time we were together was at dinner, and neither of us looked at the other during that hour. Joey knew what was going on and he just gave us our space.
Joey and Simpson were going out on Sunday night, and we were supposed to watch Angela. I didn't want to have to work with him, so I told her she could just spend some time in my room and bring her toys.
"We need to talk," Mr. Simpson told Joey when he came into the house. He looked over at me uncomfortably, and Joey asked me to go upstairs and find Angela. I did go upstairs, but only halfway. We still hadn't found out what happened to Jordan.
"Bad news?" I heard Joey ask. Someone sighed.
"Yeah, I'm afraid so," Mr. Simpson answered. There was a long pause before he went on. "Jordan ran the day the kids went to his house. The police just called me today. They can't find him."
My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach and I thought I was gonna be sick. They didn't find him? That meant he was still out there, waiting. He would probably be coming after me, Emma, Jay, or Spinner. Or all of us.
"What are they gonna do?" Joey asked.
"There's nothing they can do except keep looking. There's an arrest warrant of course. But they don't want to go public, so no one can really help them."
I started to cry then. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I didn't want to hear anymore. All I knew was that I wasn't safe anymore. I ran up the rest of the stairs to my room, only to find Angela sitting on the floor.
"Hey Angie. Can you do me a favor and play with Craig for a little while?" I asked her.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"It's not important," I told her. "Just go. I'll see you in a little bit."
"Okay," she answered, shrugging her shoulders and gathering everything she'd brought in with her.
As soon as she was gone, I closed the door and went over to my bed. Lying on my stomach on the floor, I reached under the bed and my hand found the bottle that was neatly tucked under there only for emergencies.
I pulled it out and sat up, quickly unscrewing the cap and pouring the warm liquid down my throat. It burned but felt so good. The only way I could ever forget about Jordan was to drink, and that's what I was gonna do.
Paige
Ever since I saw Alex the day she left me a voicemail, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Then I started to feel guilty about everything that happened, and every time I was around JT, I got depressed. He knew something was up, but he never asked.
We were lying on my bed that night since my mother wasn't home. She went on some trip with a guy she'd gone out with a few times, and JT was staying over until she got back. Of course, she didn't know that.
"You okay?" he asked me, kissing me softly. I nodded but didn't look at him. I was just staring up at the ceiling. "Seriously Paige, what's wrong? You can tell me anything," he said.
"No, I can't." A few tears fell from my eyes and I tried to wipe them away before he saw, but it was too late. He brought his hand up to my face and touched my cheek, then took my hand in his.
"It's okay. Take your time. But I want you to be able to tell me because you want to, not because I'm forcing you." He moved around and was about to get off the bed when I grabbed his arm.
"Wait!" I yelled, pulling him back to me. "I don't want you to hate me." I was up on my knees by then, and I rested my face in my hands. JT kissed my forehead and stayed where he was.
"I'd never hate you," he whispered. That should have made it easier, but it really made things worse. It made me feel worse for what I was about to tell him.
"I…I cheated on you," I finally said. I looked up at him and he didn't look upset. He almost looked as though he already knew.
"With Alex?" he asked, completely surprising me.
"How did you know?"
"The way you looked at her when you were together. How upset she was the night of that party…"
"I'm so sorry," I cried, not sure of what else to do.
"It's not your fault Paige. If you like girls, then I won't blame you for it. You are who you are. And even if you just needed to see what it was like, that's okay too. Because it's hard to find out who you really are, and it wouldn't make it any easier if I wasn't there for you. I love you," he finished. I stared at him, my mind completely blank.
"I picked you," I whispered.
"I know you did. That makes me happy, but is it what you really want? Because I don't want to stand in the way of something else." Instead of giving him a 'yes' or 'no' answer, I gave him an answer that would mean more.
"I love you too."
Craig
"Craaaaaaig! I'm really bored and Daddy's already gone," Angie called out from my doorway. She had her toys in her arms and walked in, dumping them on the floor.
"I thought you were playing with Alex," I said, somewhat annoyed. I loved my little sister to death, but she's a little kid. And I'm not always in the mood to play with her.
"She asked me to leave. She's really sad and she was crying," she informed me.
"Why?" I asked, sitting up.
"She said it wasn't important." She shrugged her shoulders and sat down on the floor, waiting.
"I'll be right back."
I made my way down to Alex's room. I knew that we were still fighting, but the thought of Alex crying without anyone to comfort her made me upset. So I had to at least try. I didn't knock on the door because I knew she would just tell me to go away. I opened the door and there she was, sitting on her bed, staring out the window. And she had a bottle of vodka in her hands. She was taking gulps out of it.
"Alex! Stop!" I yelled. She slowly turned to face me, and I saw that her eyes were puffy and red from crying.
"Go away Craig," she said sadly. She took another sip from the bottle as I crossed the room and stood in front of her.
"You can't do this to yourself anymore! I care about you Alex, no matter what happened. And you're going to drink yourself to death!"
"It doesn't matter. They'll never find him, and now he's coming after me!" she yelled, standing up and getting in my face.
"Who?" I was a little confused.
"JORDAN!" she screamed.
"The guy who went after Emma in grade seven?" I asked. I was really confused. Why was Alex even worried about that guy?
"Yeah." She took another drink. "The same guy who happens to be my mom's boyfriend. The same guy who made me have sex with him for six months. And hurt me if I refused. That guy."
I looked at her with wide eyes as she drank even more. How did I miss all of this? Was I really so wrapped up in the fact that she lied to me that I didn't see all of this happening in front of me? Jordan was the reason she'd been drinking. I'd heard that he was back, but I never knew it had anything to do with Alex.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I've been such a jerk."
"It's not your fault. It's his." She was still drinking, and that upset me even more. I tried to take the bottle from her, but she held back.
"Alex, you have to stop! This isn't going to help you!" I lectured her, still trying to get it.
"NO!" she yelled. "It's the only way I can forget about him!"
"It isn't the only way. I won't let you do this to yourself!"
We struggled with the bottle until finally, she let go, sending me to the floor. The fall hurt a little, but not as much as seeing her do this to herself.
"I'm pouring it down the sink," I said, standing up.
"I can always get more," she told me quietly.
I put the bottle down and pulled her up to stand with me. I looked into her eyes before bringing her to me and hugging her as tight as I could. At first she just stood there and did nothing, but then she finally wrapped her arms around me. Her head was on my shoulder and her body shook as she started to cry again.
"It's okay Alex. He won't be able to touch you ever again," I promised her. I was determined to make sure of it even though I had no idea how. She was silent for a few more minutes but finally said something.
"Friends?" she asked, keeping her head on my shoulder.
"Yeah, friends."
A/N: Sorry it's late! I don't think I'll be able to get my chapters out on time now. I just started school this week, and I have a lot of stuff to do! This story's almost over, and don't worry, I will finish it! But my next chapter story probably won't be written until winter break, or possibly even next summer. I will be submitting oneshots from time to time, so look out for those!
Also, sometimes when I click on stories on here, it says that there are no chapters in the story and the URL may be outdated. It's all messed up, and usually if I just hit refresh, it gives me the chapter that I know is there. So if that happens to anyone, try refresh.
The title and lyrics at the beginning are from the song "All That We Needed" by Plain White T's and they own it.