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Ruthless
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"I had ulterior motives for sleeping with you..."
The words hit Ritsuka directly in the heart and the teen nearly dropped the phone.
"W-What do you mean?"
"I stole your ears…because of curiosity."
"C-Curiosity!" he snapped back into the phone, realization making rage build up in his tone. "You mean…"
"Having you tell me that you loved me was all I needed to act out on that curiosity."
"W-What were you curious about?"
"I wanted to see what you looked like without your ears."
That was a lie. Soubi wouldn't have done something like that just to see him without his ears.
"You're lying!"
"Ritsuka…"
"Quiet! Tell me the truth! You told me you had ulterior motives for sleeping with me. Why'd you make me lose my ears? ANSWER ME, SOUBI!"
He didn't care how loud his voice was climbing…he only cared about the phone he was gripping and the man on the other end that was telling him one truth and all lies. What was it that he was hiding? What was the secret behind the ears?
The other end was silent.
"Soubi?"
"Ritsuka, I wanted to have your name."
"My name?"
"I was told that if you lost your ears to me, then my name would have been changed."
"So that's why you did it? I lost my ears…so that you could have the same name as mine?" Ritsuka asked, leaning forward, pressing the phone harder against his ear. "Did it change?"
Nothing.
"Soubi, did it? Soubi, Soubi…SOUBI!" he heard his voice falter and the phone snapped closed in his hands, his fingers gripping it as he slumped over onto the floor, his entire body trembling as he remembered the night it happened. Soubi had been so gentle…he embraced him so lovingly and the words felt so good coming from him. His declaration of love seemed to have meant so much that night, it meant a lot when he was with the Fighter back at his apartment.
Why was it…that now the words "I love you" didn't seem to matter any more?
"That…idiot…" he dropped the phone, his hands smacking against the sides of his head and pulling at his hair where his ears had once protruded. Just…what am I to you!
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Why was it that whenever Ritsuka felt troubled or sad…that the weather would always seem to coincide with him? This thought crossed his mind as he ran, his feet slapping the pavement as he scrambled about a corner, shutting his eyes for a moment as his house disappeared from sight behind him.
He didn't know how long he had sat there on the floor; staring down upon the floor where the phone was lying in the exact place it had dropped from his hands to. He didn't know if it had been hours or only minutes before he leapt up from the wood and tore out of his room. The words of his parents didn't reach him as he pulled on his shoes and bolted out the front door, his heel threatening to slip out of the sneaker as he ran.
The Sacrifice hadn't even remembered to grab his coat.
The winter stung him through the sleeves of his thin sweater and froze the back of his neck as he sprinted over the pavement, everything was abandoned back at the house, his coat, his phone, and his parents…all of them were left behind. All he wanted with him were his shoes and the promise of an explanation from the Fighter once he arrived at the man's apartment.
Or at least…that's what he hoped he would receive.
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Ritsuka fell against the door to the Sentouki's apartment, his hand fumbling to grip the doorknob but his numb fingers didn't want to comply with his orders to twist the knob. He gripped it, wondering if the know wasn't turning because the door was locked or if it was just his failure to grasp the handle. He wanted to get inside…but at the same time he was afraid of what would happen once he was across the threshold of the apartment's front door.
Pushing himself away from the painted wood, the Sacrifice shivered as he lowered his hand from the door and tried to calm himself just enough to manage entrance into the apartment.
Digits trembling, heart racing, and his breath heaving his chest from his mile run, the Sacrifice attempted to turn the knob…
The door swung open before him, revealing the Sacrifice the Sentouki's apartment once again even though he had left it not even three hours ago.
Soubi's paintings had toppled over, his phone closed but upside down against one of the opposing walls, his bed was still a complete wrinkly mess from their previous intimacy hours before. Everything had changed…but at the same time it was still the same.
Wondering in a few steps, the Sacrifice didn't remove his shoes as he wondered inside, peering about the single room with half-lidded eyes. At first his panting was all that he could hear and he touched his throbbing side where the slice in his skin was screaming in agony from the sudden activity that made his body go flailing into action for a straight mile before rest.
The pounding of his heart and the soft pants of his breath were suddenly interrupted as he caught another sound with his ears.
Water
He could hear running water inside of the artist's small bathroom.
Could it be…?
Ritsuka's feet suddenly pulled him towards the bathroom door that stood partially ajar, just enough for the teen to see steam beginning to cloud the bathroom into a very light haze. Had he looked down, he should have seen Soubi's clothes on the tile, but he didn't observe the floor as he pushed the door open the rest of the way, looking at the shower curtain concealing his Fighter from him.
You reveal to me…that you slept with me for some strange reason…then you say that you wanted to change your name.
Ritsuka's panting stopped…but his heart was still bruising his ribs with its insane rhythm.
He walked in, stepping on the clothes without a second thought, crossed the tile through the haze of steam and his hand reached through the warm moisture. Such a humid feeling clashing against his frozen skin from his run back to the apartment. Yet Soubi was inside of the shower, warmed by the hot water and comfortable as a man could be when they were in a shower.
The teen grit his teeth as the rage returned to him, his numb fingers curled and un curled once before he made up his mind and before he knew it, he was pulling open the curtain.
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Soubi, who had been standing bent over partially with his hands pressed against the tile, his head bent into the gushing waters of the showerhead; jerked his head up in time to see the grimace of his Sacrifice's lips before he found himself pushed back against the wall, the shower curtain pressing against his bare skin as the teen flung himself into him and knocked him down.
The Fighter grunted and the curtain rings snapped from Ritsuka's weight as they slipped into the tub, Soubi wincing as his arm collided with the cold knob, his legs spread out wide with one over the edge of the tub while the enraged teenager was on top of him with the shower curtain partially in-between.
"YOU IDIOT! IDIOT, IDIOT, IDIOT, IDIOT, IDIOT! HOW CAN YOU JUST TAKE A SHOWER AS IF NOTHING WAS WRONG!"
The teen's voice rang through the small bathroom as Soubi reached up for the flailing arms, slippery from the water still pouring from the showerhead. He grasped the Sacrifice's wrists, stilling the arms immediately but as he held them he realized how cold the teen was in spite of the hot water. Had he just arrived?
"You moron!" Ritsuka cried, his voice faltering suddenly, his head bowed and hair dripping wet as he lifted it.
The Sentouki stiffened as the violet eyes met his; they were glassy and hurt…eyes that he hadn't seen on Ritsuka in so long. They were always calm or angry, but this time they were hurt and he had the look of a child's anger penned up inside.
"Ritsuka…"
"Shut up! I don't want to hear your voice!" he shouted, his words bouncing off the tile sharply over the patters of the showerhead's droplets.
"Ritsuka."
The teen's teeth gritted together as he glared down at the man, his body trembling from the hot water clashing with his cold limbs, his hair was soaked along with his clothes, the water running down his face and dripping off of his chin. Had the situation been during any other moment, Soubi would have loved the way the Sacrifice looked on top of him. He almost felt ashamed when he imagined Ritsuka squirming beneath him a few hours ago.
"Why…why won't you ever just tell me the truth? It's always a secret with you…always." He said, his voice squeaking painfully as he forced out the words. "I told you I loved you…and even now…I hate the fact that I still do!"
Soubi released Ritsuka's wrists and the teen leaned forward, beating the man's collarbone feebly. "I hate it; I hate how sickening you make this feel! Love isn't love when you're the one it's connected to! It's nothing but an illness to me!"
"Ritsuka, I—"
"Soubi!" he grasped a handful of the man's hair, leaning further over him so that he was only centimeters away from his face, his wet bangs brushing over the Fighter's forehead. "Do you really love me…or is it still Seimei's orders as they have always been?"
He only stared up at him.
"ANSWER ME DAMNIT!" Aoyagi cried, tugging on the strands of blond hair, but Soubi didn't even wince. He stared up at the Sacrifice, a hand resting on the teen's shoulder and sliding up, tangling his fingers into the wet strands of his hair, but his grasp was not angry as Ritsuka's was. No, he only ran his fingertips over the teen's scalp lightly before pulling his head down.
Water splashed off of their bodies like raindrops off of a horizontal surface, the tiny specs of water dotted them like dew and the warmth of the liquid could not overpower the chill of the teen's lips as they were met by the moistened mouth of the man.
Holding the head stationary, Soubi felt Ritsuka's protesting hands lightly pushing at his shoulders, his own hair forgotten and untwined from the slender fingers. He held onto the kiss for a moment, slowly drawing his mouth away and looking earnestly into the teen's eyes.
"I love you, Ritsuka." He said, "I love you."
"Truly?" Aoyagi managed to ask feebly, his eyes crushed shut tight.
"Yes." He confirmed, "Loveless, one without love. As you are in love, so you are loved."
Could the teenager really trust those words? The words that were said over and over ever since the day they first made memories together? Were these words just the repeat of all of the confessions before?
He didn't want them to be.
Lowering his eyes, Ritsuka looked at the name covered in a sheen of water. "Beloved" displayed for him to seed so clearly…or wasn't it clearer?
Ritsuka stiffened, his fingers rubbing at Beloved's name to try and brush away the water but only more covered it with flecks of droplets until Soubi reached over and turned off the faucet, trying to see what it was that Loveless was trying to brush off of him aside from the water.
He pushed himself up as best he could, his naked body groaning against the tub as the water drained away, no longer lubricating the sides of the tub. The shower curtain crinkled between them as Ritsuka climbed off of the Fighter and stood on the bathroom floor, watching Soubi pull himself up until he could sit on the edge of the tub.
Grabbing a towel, Ritsuka threw it at him. "Cover yourself up…"
Soubi obeyed, draping the towel over his lap until it covered from his navel to his knees. Ritsuka grabbed a smaller towel, bending over and rubbing at the damp flesh at the base of Soubi's neck. The terrycloth felt warm against him after Ritsuka had pinned him into such an uncomfortable position with his cold body for so long. Not that he minded having Loveless on top of him.
"I can't see the "D"." he said, rubbing at the flesh some more, as if it would be revealed from some flesh colored layer of grime the man had neglected to wash off.
"What?" Soubi's eyes widened briefly.
Ritsuka jumped aside, his shoes squeaking over the tile just as Soubi jumped up, grasping the towel closed about his waist as he went to the little mirror over his tiny sink. He fingered his name experimentally for a moment, running his fingers over the letters but judging by the expression on his face…
"You're right." He murmured, though he didn't sound as surprised as he actually was. "The "D" of my name is gone…but so is a part of the "E" before it."
"What?" Ritsuka's eyebrows arched upwards.
Soubi turned to the Sacrifice, his fingers lightly touching the name "Belove" absently.
A smile slightly curved the man's lips.
"Ritsuka, I have proof." He said, approaching the teen.
Ritsuka swallowed, he didn't know when it was that his anger had dissipated…perhaps it was after the kiss, or when he thought about whether or not Soubi truly loved him or not. He watched Soubi come forward and then stand before him.
Reaching down, he peeled the Sacrifice's shirt upwards a little before peering into the teen's eyes.
"My…name…"
"If a Sentouki loves their Sacrifice…and the Sacrifice loves the Sentouki…then the moment the love was completely expressed…the possibility of the changing of names…would be given."
"I love you." Soubi said; resting his hand over the now prominent broken heart symbol on the teen's chest, and just above it, to the left…was a faint line of the letter, "L".
Ritsuka stared up at the man for a moment, his hands reaching up and lightly touching the remains of the name "Beloved" thoughtfully as the last traces of Seimei were fading away slowly from the Sentouki, though the rest of the letters would take time to fade as well. He could see a pale mark that was shaped strangely in the form of an "S" in place of the missing "D" now.
My name…
He paused his thoughts.
No…our name…
"I love you…Loveless…"
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A/N:
Thank you for your suppourt on this story. I'm debating on whether or not to let it end on this chapter or if I should give the story one more chappie and let it bump the rating to that of another "M" since we all secretly love those. However, I'm leaving this choice up to the masses. Please review and tell me if you would like one more chapter and whether or not you would like it to be Mature content or if I should keep it Teen.
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Please continue to suppourt me.