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Chapter 9

From the moment James had kissed her last night he knew he was in trouble. She scrambled his mind, made him forget himself and lose his precious control. They had talked and made love until he left her at dawn because he didn't want the men's tongues to start wagging.

The second he woke up he'd been in a haze, not really knowing what he was doing but going purely from habit and had spent the day trying to shake off strange looks from the crew, hoping for a sign of Elise and counting the hours until night fall.

Just as last night, he had waited until his men had fallen asleep and then snuck back to the captains quarters to see her. But this time he approached with anxiety. He didn't know exactly why he was nervous, perhaps because it was a new day.

He found himself at her door too soon and cleared his throat nervously. What if she regretted last night? After all she was a well bred sophisticate and he'd taken her innocence.

He knocked softly and waited with baited breath in the silence. When she didn't answer he knocked again and whispered her name. He wondered if she had fallen asleep and cracked the door.

But he found the room empty. Her shoes were in the middle of the floor but she was no where to be seen. The fact that she wasn't there waiting for him did nothing to ease his doubt and he closed the door silently to go search for her.

He wandered around the perimeter of the ship and finally found her at the stern. She was barefoot and wearing one of his uniform shirts that fell to her knees. He couldn't help comparing her to a beautiful sea goddess as she stared unseeingly into the blackness of the nights ocean. He glanced around to make sure that none of the crew was up before he walked stealthily across the dark deck.

Elise heard him approaching but was too lost in thought to register it until he slipped his arms around her waist from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder after pressing a kiss to her neck.

"Hi. Were you looking for me?" She asked uncertainly, not sure how to act after last night. This was the first time she'd seen him all day.

"I was. Am." He said as he nibbled on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there. I needed some air." She replied distractedly.

"What is it love?" He murmured in her ear.

"Just thinking." She sighed as she absently stroked his hand at her waist.

"What about?" He asked.

"Oh, you know. Nothing vital. This and that." She answered vaguely and leaned back into his strength, her head dropping back onto his chest.

"It looks more important than just this or that." He coaxed and drew her closer as he voiced his worry. "Are you regretting last night?"

"Certainly not. I don't regret anything I've done pertaining to you." She reassured him and turned her head to press a kiss to his strong jaw line. "Do you?"

"I thought I would but I don't." He said honestly.

She knew he was dealing with the fact that he had given up control and allowed him that rationalization without offense.

He continued to hold her for several minutes, rocking them gently back and forth. He sensed the depth of her trouble and again voiced his concern.

"You look so lost. I wish you'd trust me enough to let me help you Elise."

"I do trust you...with every fiber of my being. I just don't want to be a bother." She said.

At that he turned her around and met her eyes. "Don't ever feel that way. You are never a bother. I will always have time for you."

He saw her eyes tear but she blinked them away quickly before she kissed him lightly on the lips. He realized that with a man as important as her father that she'd probably never been told that before and his heart squeezed for her.

"I'm worried about my father. Wondering if he's alive and where he is. What if the pirates took him? He must be in much despair. What if he thinks I'm dead? He probably thought I was on that ship when it exploded. How he must be torturing himself." She said in a rush.

"Like you are?" He asked with a smile as he stroked her hair back.

"Like father like daughter." She said ruefully, her eyes full of remorse.

"Is there something you're not telling me? You look as if there is more bothering you." He noticed astutely.

"You don't miss much do you?" She replied.

"Commodore." He said sheepishly. "It's my job to notice."

"Oh James!" She suddenly burst into tears and buried her head in his neck catching him completely off guard.

"Shh, love. It's alright. What's the matter?" He asked as he pulled her back into his arms and resumed his rocking.

"This is all my fault. We'd never have even been on that ship if it weren't for me." She sniffed.

"Why do you say that?" He inquired as he offered her a handkerchief.

She pulled back to dab at her eyes before answering him. "I hate to even say it. You're going to think I'm awful."

"I very much doubt that Elise." James assured her.

"I told you that my father agreed to revoke my marriage arrangement? Well that was only after I had acted like a complete and utterly spoiled child. I was to be married when I turned one and twenty but I barely spoke ten words to him together for the whole year I was twenty. The words I did speak were harsh and spoken in anger. I knew no other way to make him understand that I could never love someone that I had no hand in picking. There is nothing about Andrew that I find attractive. He is brash, snobby and condescending to all he meets, myself included. I know I could never love him and I refuse to spend my days being miserable. I tried to appeal to my father on a logical level but he would not listen."

"How did he happen to choose Andrew Devereaux?" James asked.

"His father and my father were the closest of friends. They started a merchant business together but soon my father became quite successful and did not need a partner any longer so he bought out Lord Devereaux's side. I was promised while they were still partnered but the Devereaux's left for Port Royal when I was eleven."

"Surely if they were such close friends Lord Devereaux would not protest the cessation." James said.

"My father did write him about it but he received a letter back protesting the termination. You see, Lord Devereaux is very concerned with money, class and social stature so in his eyes there is no one else fitting for his son. The eldest daughter of the wealthiest man in England. Their fortune is exceeded only by my own father's and Lord Devereaux would never allow his son to marry beneath him. He would sure disinherit him and Andrew would never allow that to happen. He has no skills of his own to make his own way. He's been counting on that money since he was old enough to realize what money was." She answered.

"I see. I'm sorry. Continue." James apologized.

"Where was I, ah yes, I stormed, raged, shouted and acted like a juvenile whelp for the whole year I was twenty until my father finally caved. There is nothing that I seek that he would not give me and that's how I repay him? It was behavior completely unbefitting of a lady not to mention that I was an awful daughter to a more than loving father. We were on our way to Port Royal to inform Lord Devereaux that the marriage would not be taking place. So you see it's all my doing." She ended with another sniffle. "Now you think ill of me."

"I do not think ill of you. Why would you not want to live your life with love? I'm sure your father forgives you and only wants your happiness. I know it's easier said than done but you can't be so hard on yourself." He said soothingly.

"I know that. I really do. But I'm terrified of arriving at Port Royal. It will just make it all seem more real. What if I hear certain news of his death? Or his capture? What if there is no news? What if the last memory I have of him is me treating him like that? I'm scared for him. I'm scared for my family. I'm scared for me." She replied, venting every frustration running through her mind.

"I can't do anything about your father or family right now but I will take care of you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You'll come to Netherfield with me. " He told her firmly.

"Netherfield?" She asked with confusion.

"My home in Port Royal." He explained.

"You are too generous. I want you to know, that no matter what happens you will forever have my gratitude Commodore James Norrington. You've saved my life in more ways than one." She said smiling up at him, her eyes still reflecting her forlornness.

"We'll be back in Port Royal the day after tomorrow. I promise that as soon as we get to land I will do everything in my power to find him and bring him back. We'll try Lord Devereaux first. He knew you were coming and is therefore most likely to have useful news." James said.

"You'd ask the man I was promised to for help?" She raised her hand to cup his cheek and he pressed a kiss to her palm.

"Anything to take the sadness from your eyes." He answered.

"My father would like you. You're honorable and noble, the two qualities that he values above all else. You're a good man James. Any woman would be lucky to have you." She whispered softly.

"You're the only woman I want." He said quietly, not quite sure he was ready to admit that yet.

"It's ok. I don't need your pledges of undying emotion right now. It is what it is and I'm not going to force it." She replied, reading his hesitation and moving to squeeze his hand reassuringly.

"How are you so relaxed in the uncertain?" He wondered, tugging her close.

"I trust fate. Sometimes you just have to let things happen James." She said pulling him down for a kiss full of promises.

I hope Elise didn't come off as too, how do I put it...bratty. I'mgoing for humanity not bitchy. Can't havea perfect herione. Everyone has flaws.

And what is up with her father? Where could he possibly be?