Author's Note: This is my first attempt at a Maddison fic. It takes place during episode 4 I guess, and flashbacks are in italics.. I started out trying to take one theme (cartwheels in this case) and keep it running throughout the whole story, but then I decided I wanted to write a Maddison story so I ended up combining the two ideas and making the theme fic longer and different than it originally was. And it may have just turned out in a mess, but it might not be too bad! I'm working on another fic right now, not sure of the pairing yet though. And I just realized I haven't updated Just Can't Live A Lie since June so I'm sorry about that! I promised myself I wouldn't abandon it halfway through, but I'm better at one-shots. I did start to write another chapter though so hopefully I'll have some time to finish it and post that soon. And then I'll try to make it like 2-ish more chapters after that. So back to this story, um…I think it's too cliché and done a million times before and has a cheesy ending, but oh well, I'll try to make the next one better! I figured if I spent the time writing it and typing it up then I should just post it even if I don't like it. It's not the best thing I've ever written, but maybe it's not as bad as I think. Let me know what you think! Please read and review!
Disclaimer: Do I own Grey's Anatomy? Nope, the answer is still no.
As a child Addison loved turning cartwheels. She liked being able to make her world turn upside down and then back again. She did gymnastics until she was thirteen, when she cartwheeled off the high beam and hurt her knee.
Now, as an adult, her world was once again turned upside down but this time she didn't like it. It wasn't as simple as a cartwheel; she didn't control when it happened and she didn't know how to make it turn back. In fact, she thought it felt very much like the time she fell off that high beam.
There were other times in her life that she had felt this way, but there had always been something – or someone – who helped make everything okay again.
-New York, 14 months earlier-
"Mark?" She asked into the phone.
"Addie? I thought you and Derek were going out tonight."
"He cancelled. Again." She paused. "I don't know how much more of this I can take." Her voice wavered slightly. "It was supposed to be our anniversary dinner, but a week late because he cancelled the first two times."
Mark closed his eyes and sighed, knowing what she wanted, knowing it was wrong, and yet knowing that he still wanted to do it. "Do you want me to come over?"
"If you're not doing anything. I mean, we can just watch a movie or whatever."
"Okay, I'll be there in five."
At the time, neither of them had guessed that Derek would come home early that night and find them in bed together.
-Seattle, the day Addison found Meredith's panties in Derek's jacket-
By this time it had been over a year since that night.
When Mark's cell phone vibrated on his belt he never would have guessed she'd be calling him again, not after what happened when he last went to Seattle.
"Mark Sloan," he answered.
"Mark, it's Addison."
"Wow. I didn't expect to hear from you! What's going on?"
She had held it together pretty well until then. Of course the alcohol helped. But there was something about hearing Mark's voice that was so soothing to her and it knocked down the last part of her tough exterior.
She sobbed into the phone. "It's over."
Mark didn't need to ask. He knew what she meant. He also knew that she needed someone right now, but would probably never admit it because she hated feeling vulnerable.
"Ad, I'm so sorry."
"I need you." She closed her eyes in anticipation of him rejecting her request after the way she treated him on his last visit to Seattle.
"I'll be on the next flight. I'll call you when I get there."
She took another sip of vodka. "Thanks Mark, I knew you'd be here for me. I love you," she said, now sounding quite tipsy.
"Have you been drinking?"
"Yea, just self-medicating a bit."
He sighed. "Don't drink any more. I'll be there as soon as I can."
He hung up and Addison sat listening to the dial tone for a minute before hanging up on her end.
For more than the second time in two years he had helped turn her world back around.
It had been nearly a week since that night she spent with Mark. And now they were "just co-workers," at her insistence.
Still, she did her best to avoid him when possible.
Her stomach did its own cartwheels every time they were near each other. She couldn't breathe around him and she didn't know how much more of it she could stand. Her world had done yet another cartwheel, and this time it got stuck upside down.
How would she be able to fix it this time? She'd begun to realize that Mark always fixed it. What could she do now that he was the one who broke it?
She made it through the morning fine, but just after lunch things started to fall apart.
She saw Derek and Meredith talking. She'd heard they weren't together, but the way his hand reached out and touched Meredith's hair, it sure looked like they were together.
Then she turned the corner and saw Mark flirting with the new nurse. She wasn't sure why, but this upset her more than seeing Meredith and Derek together. The cartwheels in her stomach began again and she became overwhelmed with confusing feelings.
Addison walked down a quiet hallway in somewhat of a daze, stepped in to the supply closet, and closed the door behind her. She agreed to allow herself five minutes to cry and then wouldn't reemerge until she looked flawless.
George O'Malley caught her slipping in to the closet. He honestly felt bad for her. He'd go talk to her himself if he wasn't so intimidated by her. He decided he'd mention it to Mark if they happened to run into each other.
Ironically Mark came around the corner two minutes later, not paying attention, and nearly bumped into George, but continued walking while mumbling an apology.
"Dr. Sloan!"
He stopped and turned around. "Yes Dr. O'Malley?"
"Um…I thought you should know, wh…"
"O'Malley, get on with it. I don't have time."
"I saw Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd go in to that supply closet a few minutes ago and she looked upset."
This got Mark's attention. "Thanks O'Malley, I've got it."
George walked away while Mark walked over to the closet and knocked. "Addie?"
"Go away."
"Come on, just talk to me."
"No." At this point she didn't care if she sounded like a child.
"I'm coming in," he warned. He opened the door, stepped inside, and closed it behind him.
He found Addison sitting on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest and her head resting in her hands. She looked up when he entered.
"Please just leave," she said quietly.
"No, Ad. You're obviously hurting and I want to help."
She gave him a weak smile. "I appreciate it but you can't."
"But I always do." Mark sat down next to her.
"No Mark. You come, we have sex, I feel better for a while, bury my other pain, and get on with life. I can't keep doing that. We can't just have sex and expect everything to be fixed."
"I know, but I really love you and I don't want to see you like this."
"Then don't look," she said sarcastically.
He gave her a look and she spoke again. "I care about you too, but we can't have a relationship right now. I'm not ready. I'm not even divorced yet!" Her eyes teared up again.
"It's okay, it's okay." He rubbed her back gently as she wiped her eyes. "We can just be friends for now."
She nodded. "Okay."
He was treating her the way he did back in New York before he became arrogant and treated his co-workers with no respect. She had missed this sensitive, charming, affectionate Mark.
Suddenly she leaned in and kissed him.
He missed kissing her and didn't resist when she leaned in.
When they pulled apart a minute later they just looked at each other and Mark spoke first.
"What happened to just being friends?" he asked, smiling.
"We're still just gonna be friends…for now. I was just giving you a taste of hat you can have. Maybe it'll stop you from kissing so many other girls while you said for me," she joked.
"Who said I was waiting?" he teased, raising his eyebrows in question. He looked around. "Hey, we could have hot kinky secret sex in this closet," he suggested, smirking.
"Mark!" She feigned offense and slapped him on the arm.
"What? I was just trying to liven things up!"
She smiled.
"So, you okay now?"
"Yea, I think so. Thank you."
"Well, what are friends for?" He laughed at the cheesiness of what he had just said and she laughed too.
He grabbed her hand to help her up and she felt her stomach cartwheel again. But this time it was a good feeling.
She had the evening off, which was nice since her sister Elizabeth and her family were in town. Elizabeth was two years younger than Addison, but she and her husband Ken already had two children.
Connor was four and Brooke was six so Addison thought they might like to go to the park for a while after dinner, since the weather was nice.
After the kids played on the playground for a while, they all went for a walk by the lake to feed the ducks. The adults were talking while the kids threw some bread.
Brooke, being polite, called to them. "Aunt Addie! Come feed the ducks with me! Pleeeassse!"
Addison walked towards her niece and nephew.
"Sure Brookie. Can you show me how to do it?"
"Me! I will!" Connor jumped up and down, raising his hand. "Watch!"
"Good job Connor!" she praised after he had thrown it.
Her brother-in-law got another slice of break for her.
"Thanks Ken."
Her sister walked over too. "Ad, we're just gonna go over to the snack stand to get a water bottle. Can you keep an eye on the kids for two minutes?"
"Sure Beth."
A minute later the kids had thrown all their bread and were now dancing around in the grass.
"Do a cartwheel Aunt Addie!" Brooke squealed after her own attempt at doing one.
"Yea, pwease?!" Connor begged.
"Okay, I'll try!" Addison said. She hadn't done a cartwheel in years.
She turned a near-perfect cartwheel and then stood up, seeing her world right side up again.
Her niece and nephew clapped and shrieked, "Do it again! Do it again!"
Addison laughed feeling surprisingly refreshed after the cartwheel, because this time she had the power to turn her world upside down and turn it back around again. She was done with giving her power away and letting other people change her world. Looking at the laughing children, she realized how lucky she was and vowed to try to be more open-minded about Mark and to just allow herself to be happy.