CHAPTER SEVEN

(BPOV)

I paced up and down the hall of the hospital until I was certain I had worn a hole in the floor.

The last image I had of my father was him being wheeled into a waiting ambulance on a stretcher while they frantically worked on him, trying to keep is heart beating. The news was that he had coded another two times on the route here. They tore off out of the Cullens driveway so fast, I could hardly keep up with them as they went, my tight dress getting in the way and making it hard for me to move very well.

Alice had gone by my house a while ago to get a change of clothes for me, but I had yet to even bother with them. They lay untouched in her lap now as she and the rest of the Cullens waited with me to hear any kind of update on Charlie.

"Love, it's been almost an hour since we arrived after the ambulance. You should sit down and have some water or-"

"I'm fine." I told Edward, not glancing his way when he reached for me. "Please just let me be. I can't just sit there waiting. It will drive me crazy."

"But your dress is getting ruined and-"

"I can buy another dress. It's not as if money is tight with your family." I pointed out. "I'm sure Alice can handle it after things calm down. Did you explain the situation to the guests?"

"Yes, Carlisle and Esme took care of it for us. No worries there. We can reschedule soon enough." Edward confidently stated.

The very idea of going through today all over again in another month or so, had my stomach churning worse than it was before.

I didn't think I would survive it with a second round of this.

"Please send my thanks to them when they arrive. In case I'm in with Charlie."

"Sure, love. I will." He assured me, his golden gaze as watchful of me as it ever was.

There in the waiting room, sides has seemingly been divided and drawn. The Cullens filled the left, while some members of the Pack, including Sam Uley, filled the right. They all stared at the floor, their hands balled into tight fists from the tension that being this close to them created.

It was a hostile environment to say the very least.

Jacob had taken Billy home. Due to his stress level over Charlie, his own health was struggling some and as a result, he needed to rest and collect himself before he was in any kind of shape to come here and wait with us.

I'd never seen Billy as shaken as he was when he saw my father being worked on before they loaded him into the ambulance and drove away.

The look on Jacobs face was visibly pained and torn.

He didn't want to leave me.

That much was clear.

I caught his eye before Edward rushed me into his car to follow after the speeding ambulance and mouthed the words, 'It's okay. Go.'

This did little to ease the stress I saw in him but he did so anyway.

I'd give just about anything to have him here with me now.

I glanced over my shoulder toward the Cullens again, and with a clarity I didn't foresee coming, realized that my sole source of comfort rested in Jacob and not Edward.

I continued pacing until my shoes began to hurt my feet. I soon tore them off and handed them to Alice with an apologetic look.

"They hurt too much. Keep them for me please."

"Of course." She obliged, sharing another worried look with Edward as he watched me.

An hour passed and then another, and I was just about to storm over to the head nurses station and demand some answers when the doctor appears and called for me.

"Bella Swan?"

I rushed over to him, leaving everyone else there behind in my hurry to hear his news.

"Y-Yes, that's me. H-How is he? How's my dad?"

"He had a massive heart attack. After running some tests, we discovered a blockage in his left ventricle that needs to be surgically removed immediately. So, we've scheduled him for surgery and when I get in there, I'll know more. For now, we're looking at a waiting game. He is currently stable and resting. I will update you myself as soon as I'm done. Can I find you here or are you going back home-"

"N-No, I'll be right here. I won't go anywhere. Please...-Please do all that you can for him?"

"I surely will. We'll talk again soon." He replied, placing a hand on my shoulder before heading away with my fathers chart in hand.

They were gonna cut him open and I knew enough about the heart to know how serious a surgery like that could prove to be for a person.

"Modern medicine has come a long way, Bella." Carlisle stated from beside me, his sudden arrival going unnoticed until now. "Charlie is in good hands here. Have faith in the doctors. They will do all they can for him."

"What are the chances of him having major complications with this surgery? You know, so please tell me."

Carlisle hung his head a little and looked to Edward before forming his answer.

"Well, open heart surgery is not simple surgery. It's timely and very detailed. The body is under great stress already in Charlie's case and I would be lying to you if I didn't say that there's a chance he might not make it."

His words sent me reeling and I stumbled back from the truth in them.

"Not make it...- He could die on the table? Is that what you're saying?" I half cried.

"There's a chance, yes. But there is also a significant chance that he will pull through, Bella. There's no way of predicting either way. That's why the doctor said it's a bit of a waiting game just now. I've heard those words before and used them myself many times. Hope for the best but prepare yourself for the worst."

Edward placed himself behind me at the sign of my stumble and distress, and when his cold hand touched mine, I wanted to scream.

"Charlie is still young. There's a good chance he will be okay." He sighed, touching my cheek with his other free hand. "Let me take you home, love. We can wait there and they will call with word on him."

I shook my head and pulled away from his embrace at this.

"No, I'm not going back home with you. I wanna be here for Charlie. No matter what happens. He would do that for me and I'm gonna do the same for him. He's my dad, Edward. How could you even ask me to leave right now?"

"I just think it's best for you to get some rest yourself in the mean time. Charlie wouldn't want you to-"

"Don't do that. Don't speak for him or for me. I'm alright and I'm staying here. You and your family are more than welcome to head back home and I can update you if something should change."

The hurt in Edwards face made me shrink back some. My nerves were shot and I was being harsher than I wanted to be with him.

"You are my family, Bella." He reminded.

I didn't have words to respond to him, my throat feeling tight as I thought of Jacob again.

All my protesting words to him from before now seeming to leave me in nothing more than the vast ocean of regret.

I should have told him.

He deserved to know.

We both deserved more than this.

"Can you please let me stay here on my own? I need some space right now." I told Edward, trying to keep my composure.

"I don't want to leave you alone right now. Not with Charlie the way he is." He insisted.

Carlisle noted my despair then and cut in on my behalf.

"Edward, she's asking for time on her own. Can't deny her that if that's what she needs right now. We can all go back home and wait for an update there. I'm sure there's plenty of clean up to take care of and other family members to still address by the phone. I know Tanya has been terribly concerned with all this. For the both of you, of course. She's sent several texts in the last few minutes checking on the two of you. Maybe you should give her a call and fill them in on the way home?"

Edward looked less than thrilled with Carlisle's input, but nodded in agreement nonetheless and took the cue from me to leave.

"I'll be just a phone call away if you need me, love. Please get some kind of rest while you wait."

"I will. Thank you." I assured him, noting the observant gaze I was getting from Sam Uley at our odd interaction.

The Cullens gave a farewell nod to the pack before they departed the hospital, and for the first time since I'd seen my father fall to the floor, I let myself feel and the tears came.

Sam watched them exit the hospital before he approached me, handing me a tissue and offering me a short embrace I wasn't expecting.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I really am. We all are rooting for Charlie to be alright."

"I know and thank you."

"Is there anything we can do for you?"

"No, I'm just gonna wait. That's all I can do."

"Alone?"

"I'd rather be alone then with them right now." I muttered, wiping my tears again and looking toward Leah who struggled to meet my gaze. "You can go. It's okay. Really."

Sam nodded and gestured for the others to follow him as he peered further down the hall and then back to me.

"Well, you won't be alone. Either way."

I raised my head to follow after his stare and caught sight of Jacob rounding the far corner there at the end, his suit now replaced with jeans and a black hoodie. In his hands were a pair of the grey sweats I recognized from the last time I'd seen him.

"He came...-" I breathed. "But Billy- I thought...-"

"Sue and Emily are with Billy. He is okay and resting. Jacob messaged me before he left the Reservation. Did you really think he'd be anywhere else?"

Sam reached for my hands then, pulling me up into another tight embrace with words that touched my heart.

"I know we've had our ups and downs, Bella. But you are family to us. Jacob is not himself without you. I don't know what's going on with the two of you, but I hope you don't break his heart again, cause I don't think he'll come back from it this time. If you choose to carry on with this wedding later with Edward, I pray you know the choice you're making is the right one. Cause, you can't go back. There is no re-do. Jacob loves you and you love him and that's enough. It's more than enough to face whatever comes."

He released me then and headed down the hall with the others, all of them wishing Charlie the best as they went after him.

When he reached Jacob, the two of them paused and Sam took hold of his arm, offering support as they left.

Jacob turned my way then, his dark eyes reading my face even from this distance and knowing my fear for Charlie with a single look.

I headed his way, my walking pace slow at first, and swiftly changing when my tears became more than I could control.

I wanted his arms around me, needed it like the air of my next breath.

He took hold of me once I was in arms reach, his tight embrace enough to hold me together right now.

"It's okay, honey. I've got you. It's okay."

"I could lose him-" I cried.

"No- Bells- He's gonna be okay. You hear me? He's strong and he will pull through. He knows you're here waiting for him. That enough to give him the strength he needs. Believe me, I know."

"I hope so-..."

"Believe with me, okay?"

"Okay." I tearfully agreed, as he released me and took my hand in his.

"I brought you these." He offered, holding out his grey sweats to me with a knowing look at my dress. "That thing can't be comfortable?"

I stifled a small laugh then, finding his utter disdain for the dress Alice had custom ordered pretty comical.

"I look that hideous, huh?" I chuckled then.

"No, you look beautiful, but that dress isn't worthy of you. It's falling short."

I paused at this, seeing the sincerity there in his gaze and knowing he meant what he said.

"I didn't choose this dress." I admitted.

"I know."

"Too fancy, huh?"

"You're fancy and elegant all on your own. You don't need a dress like that to make it show. It comes natural to you."

"How so-..."

"So many ways, honey. So many ways. Your smile. Your eyes that touch the soul with one look. Your belief of good in this world. Your laughter. Even your tears. All of them show the kind of timeless beauty you are." He stated, his hand reaching up to catch another tear as it rolled down my cheek. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Nothing else compares. Including this dress."

I sighed at this, knowing he wasn't wrong and marveling some at the way he saw me.

"I've been dying to take it off. Thank you for these. Alice brought clothes but-"

"I see that."

"I like these better." I admitted taking the sweats from him and heading for the bathroom to change.

I struggled with the many buttons, unable to reach all of them on my own.

Standing there in the mirror, I debated on ripping my way out of it but decided to keep trying.

After a few more minutes, there was a faint knock on the door, followed by Jacobs husky voice of concern.

"Hey Bells, you okay in there?"

"Well, that depends. I'm stuck in this dress." I admitted, unlocking the door so he could see the dilemma I'd found myself in.

With a wide eyed look of amusement, he came in with me and locked the door behind him.

"Where does the dress end and you begin?" He asked with a chuckle, twirling me around so he could get a better look at the row of lace and buttons lining my back.

"I can't reach them all. Can you help me?"

"Gladly, if I can figure it out."

Little by little, I felt the pressure of his warm fingers undoing the lace and buttons one at a time until he reached my lower back, his pause then making my breath hitch as his hand brushed my bare skin there.

I heard the exhale come from him as he continued until I was free from the constraining dress.

"There...- free...-" He managed, his tone low and filled with a familiar longing from before.

"Thanks."

He turned to leave me be to finish changing, but I reached for him before he could unlock the door.

"Jake- wait...I-I read your letter. Charlie gave it to me like you asked-"

He paused there, his back turned to me with his hand hovering barely above the brass handle.

"I wanted you to know-..."

"Your words were beautiful."

"They were my truth."

"Were?" I anxiously asked.

"Are...-" He sighed, turning himself back around. "They are my truth. They'll always be my truth. You have my heart, Bella. It's yours no matter what you choose to do with it. I'm tired of being strong and trying to leave you alone. I can't do it anymore. It's killing me."

I held his earnest gaze and felt my heart nearly shatter at his admission then.

We wanted each other and neither one of us knew how not to.

Fighting this any longer was only hurting us both and it was exhausting.

I took a few steps toward him and reached out my hand.

"Jacob, I don't want to do this anymore. I can't keep pretending that I don't love you, cause it's killing me too. You deserve the truth. All of it."

"Then stop pretending...-" He replied, taking my offered hand in his and drawing me close to him, his lips now a breath from mine as I held the wedding dress up between us.

Neither one of us dared to move as the dress started to slip from my grasp.

Jacob reached for it then, tugging it down with a firm flick of his wrist, his eyes never leaving mine as it fell to my feet.

I sharply inhaled then, his hands skimming up my bare sides while I stepped out of the dress, finally free of it and the weight it held.

My lips brushed his and he didn't move, his stance unsure this time.

I offered him the truth then.

"I made a promise to the Volturi. To be changed, Jake. In the vampire world, they lead everything and they set the rules for who gets to live and who gets to die. They have my name and they know everything about me. The day I left you behind and went to Italy, they nearly killed me. The only reason I was able to return home with my life was if I made them the promise of becoming one of them. Alice showed him the future with me changed and it was enough for them to let me go."

I felt his grip on me tighten at this and his returning words set my soul on fire.

"In the wolf world, there are laws, too. Strict ones about the true Alphas imprint. This Volturi don't know who the hell they're messing with or the lengths we'll go as a pack to protect you."

"You-... are you- saying that I'm-" I breathed, trying to form words as his breath ghosted my lips again.

"It's you, Bella. It's always been you, honey. I chose you a long time ago. We can do anything together...-anything."

I kissed him with tearful abandon then and he returned my desire with equal fire.

Pressed to the wall, skin to skin, flesh to flesh, and wrapped around him, I let it all go. Every fear. Every doubt. Every what if scenario. It could all go to hell. If I'd learned anything from what happened to Charlie today, it was that life was too damn short to be wasted on being with anyone other than the person your heart and soul beat for.

It was Jacob. It had always been him.

I let myself go, feeling everything from him and indulging myself in it in the most decadent of ways. I hungered to lose myself in the passion that only he ignited for me and I did so without hesitation. It was only when I was locked in his arms like this did I feel truly uncaged.

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this update. More to come over the weekend. Please review and thank you for all your kind words.