'The Wizard of LGM.'
By GirlX
Chapter Three
-
Forrest (Farther in and darker)
"This is spooky." Jimmy shivered.
"This is beyond spooky." Langly said. "This is in the realm of creepy."
'Calm yourselves, you wusses.' Yves grumbled. 'There isn't a thing out here that can hurt you.'
"That you can see." Byers said.
"If there IS anything out here, it better not eat straw." Langly's voice had a hint of nervousness.
"Like cows..." Byers grinned.
"Shut-up." Langly glared at him. "Mister 'I can't handle one tiny little spider without screaming like a girl'."
Byers squinted dangerously at him. "Watch it, straw boy."
Jimmy giggled in the dark.
"Clowns." Byers and Langly sighed together.
"WHERE!" Jimmy shrieked.
'Cows and Spiders and Clowns, oh my.' Yves mused.
"Don't tell me we have to do THAT hokey bit." Langly groaned.
(GirlX: You'd better, if you know what's good for you.)
"Cows and Spiders and Clowns, oh my." Byers sighed, his eye's rolling.
"Cows and Spiders and Clowns, oh my." Langly repeated flatly.
"Cows and Spiders and Clowns, oh my." Jimmy looked a bit nervous.
They waited for a several seconds.
"Isn't something supposed to jump out at us?" Byers finially asked.
"There's no freakin' way I'm gonna-OW, stoppit! Alright, alright! I'll do it! Just stop pushing me-OW, I'm going!" Frohike suddenly stumbled out of a nearby bush. "Damn pushy writers."
Langly immediately began to howl with laughter. "Y-your-Hahaha!"
"Go ahead, laugh it up straw boy." Frohike growled.
The lion suit really wasn't all that bad. Especially since Frohike was wearing one of his leather jackets and a pair of fingerless gloves over it.
"Hi." Byers tried to muffle his laughter. "You look, uh...Different."
'Mm. I should have suspected as much.' Yves smirked.
"Shut-up." Frohike grumbled. "Let's get this damn thing over with."
"At least we know who's the author's least favorite!" Langly giggled.
"I am not!" Frohike protested.
"Yes you are!" Langly said.
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
(GirlX: Langly shut up or I'll do something worse to you.)
"Like what?" Langly demanded.
"Langly, it's not smart to provoke the author." Whispered Byers.
(GirlX: Like this.)
There was a bright flash of lightning that blinded the five for a few seconds. When their vision cleared, Langly was gone.
"What did you do to him!" Jimmy demanded.
(GirlX: He's fine. He's just a little...Well...Incapacitated.)
'This should be amusing.' Yves commented.
Frohike chuckled. "It better be."
Byers heaved a sigh. "Let's see what she's done to him."
"Langly?" Jimmy called.
"Um...Yeah, I'm over here..." A soft British voice called.
'Why does he sound like me?' Yves demanded.
(GirlX: You'll see.)
"I don't like where this is going..." Byers said uneasily.
"Hey punk, why don't you come out?" Frohike called.
"No!" The same voice called back.
(GirlX: GO!)
"Okay okay!" Langly stepped into view. "Writers..."
'HOW COULD YOU!' Yves screamed.
Langly was now an exact double of Yves in her human form.
Byers and Frohike immediately lost it.
"Oh my God!" Frohike was howling with laughter.
'Being me is not a punishment!' Yves shrieked.
"Yes it is!" Langly countered. "I'm a woman!"
"NOW we know who the author's least favorite is!" Byers said.
Yves hissed. 'I swear to God, I'll get her for this!'
"It's okay Yves." Jimmy said sympathetically. "At least she notices you."
"This is awful!" Langly shrieked.
"Aw, it's not that bad." Frohike said slyly. "It'll sure liven things up around the Lair-"
"You keep your mouth shut Doo-Hike!" Langly growled.
(GirlX: Learned your lesson yet?)
"Okay, I'm sorry!" Langly said. "Change me back!"
(GirlX: Fine.)
Another bolt of lightning lit the sky, and the scarecrow-esq Langly was back.
"Thank God!" The hacker breathed. "Another minute in that body and I would have gone nuts!"
'Being me is not a punishment!' Yves tone was now sullen and whiney.
"I think GirlX has a different opinion about that." Byers said.
"Can we get on with this?" Frohike demanded.
"Uh yeah. Frohike, what is it that you want?" Jimmy asked.
"Aside from Scully." Langly added.
"I guess I could use a few ah...additions to my video collection...
(GirlX: PG-13 Frohike.)
"...Like the movie 'Space balls." He finished, somewhat disappointed.
"Hmm." Byers raised an eyebrow at him.
"Shut-up."
'Can we GO now!' Yves demanded.
"We'd better. This forest is getting darker and creeper by the minute." Jimmy glanced around.
"I think the dimwit is right." Langly said uneasily.
(GirlX: Langly do you have a death wish or something?)
Langly sighed, "Fine. I think...Jimmy...is right. God, that sounds so weird."
"Let's get outta here before a real wild animal shows up." Frohike said.
'Oh please.' Yves rolled her eyes. 'What could possibly be out here?'
(GirlX: Tigers.)
Suddenly a loud roar resonated in the not-to-far distance.
'Lets go.' Yves said quickly.
-
Unbeknownst to our hero's, Morris Fletcher (AKA The Wicked Witch of the West) was watching them through cameras.
"That's it." He sipped his martini. "Just keep helping the idiot along."
"Sir?" A sniveling voice spoke up from behind him.
"What is it private?" He groaned and turned.
"The poison is in place. Should I implement it?"
"In about an hour. And remember, I want the one in the red shoes and his cat, UNHARMED. Put the other three in my dungeons. I want to get them personally."
(GirlX: Hey, wait a minute! I never said you could kill them!)
"Tough." Fletcher grinned. "That's the way the computer crumbles.
(GirlX: Who do you think you're talking to! I could kill you off right now!)
"Try it." Fletcher took another sip.
GirlX began to type his untimely end, when the keyboard began to melt away under her fingertips.
(GirlX: What the hell is this?)
"This is my story now. Kiss your friends goodbye."
'Oh crap!' GirlX thought. 'I thought this only happened in bad X-Files!'
(GirlX: It doesn't matter Fletcher. All bad witches get their comeuppance in the end!)
"Yeah right. Those three don't stand a chance."
(GirlX: Those three are more resourceful than you think. You'll see.)
"Mm. Well sit back and enjoy 'Your' story." Fletcher cackled. "It'll be their last."
With that hackneyed line, the keyboard completely vanished, and GirlX couldn't type a response.
'They better be resourceful.' She thought grimly.
She sat back and watched the words form.
-
End of Part three