'The Wizard of LGM'
By GirlX
Chapter Four
-
"Jimmy, what are you seeing the wizard for?" Byers asked as the group contunied to walk doen the yellow brick road.
"Huh?" Jimmy said, uncomprehending.
"Well, we all have our reasons. Yves, I assume, is to be turned back to human form."
'Damn right!' Yves spat.
"I guess to get all of us home." Jimmy said.
"Hmm. Do we know anything about this Wizard?" Langly asked. "Intelligence levels, that sort of thing?"
"What Wizard? There's no Wizard." Frohike countered.
"There's no Wizard? Then why are we going on this stupid journey?" Langly demanded.
"Um..." Jimmy said. "I just assumed there was a wizard."
"GirlX really messed up on this." Frohike commented.
"Are you crazy? She'll probably smite you for saying that!" Byers looked horrified. "Although, she did screw up..."
They all waited for a comment (or lightning bolt) from GirlX.
"Weird." Langly commented.
"Something's wrong." Byers said.
'He's right. I have animal instincts right now, and I can feel it.' Yves said.
"Maybe the keyboard froze up." Jimmy suggested.
"Then wouldn't the story pause?" Langly asked.
"Yeah, so what's going on?" Frohike demanded.
"I don't know, but I don't like it." Byers said. "We'd better watch out from now on."
"For what?" Langly demanded. "If there's no wizard, there's no reason to keep going on this path."
"There's no wizard, but there is a good witch." Frohike sighed with exasperation.
"Who, Scully?" Byers asked.
"No, it's Lydia, the good witch of the south." Frohike said. "GirlX told me that before I got onscreen."
"Oh. So, we go to her city?" Byers said.
"Yeah, the Sapphire city."
"The Sapphire city. Real cute." Langly made a face. "We already know we'll have to get something from Fletcher, so why don't we just go strait to his fortress?"
"We don't know what we'll have to take." Byers reminded him. "It could be an ID card, a cigarette lighter, a pendant..."
"We get the idea." Langly rolled his eyes.
Frohike sighed. "So what do we do?"
"If GirlX were speaking to us, she'd probably tell us." Jimmy added helpfully.
'Well she's not.' Yves growled a little bit at the mention of her tormenter.
-
"I would if I could." GirlX growled back.
'How the hell do I get a message to them without typing!' She thought fiercely.
DING
The proverbial light bulb lit above her head.
"That might work." She began to move the mouse.
-
"I hate plot holes." Langly grumbled at the five trudged along.
"Yeah, well, there's nothing we can do about them." Frohike said.
"Hey, wait a sec. Do you guys hear that?" Jimmy stopped.
"Hear what?" Byers asked.
"That music." Jimmy said. "Listen."
'It sounds like...'
"...Alcohol, my permanent accessory?" Byers repeated the lyrics, perplexed.
"Hey, I know that song!" Langly exclaimed. "It's called 'Alcohol' by 'Barenaked Ladies."
"Barenaked Ladies?" Frohike said, eyebrow's raised.
"Don't get excited, they're a group of fully clothed canadian men." Langly replied.
"Then what good is that?" Frohike replied sullenly.
"Maybe GirlX is trying to tell us something." Jimmy said suddenly.
"Yeah, but what?" Byers said. "That song seems to have no bearing on out situation."
"Maybe she wants us to get wasted." Langly put in hopefully.
-
"Oh come on! I'm trying to prove you guys AREN'T dumb. Put two and two together!" GirlX yelled at the monitor.
-
"It must have something to do with alcohol." Jimmy said. "Whatever we have to get."
'He's always got that God-awful martini glass when I see him.' Yves said.
"That's it!" Byers snapped his fingers with a metallic bang. "We have to get his martini glass."
"That it?" Langly asked tiredly. "You all know that means we'll have to kill him."
"Great." Frohike muttered.
"Guys, look. There's a fork in the road." Jimmy pointed ahead. "And a sign."
"Safe path' or 'Turn back now.'" Langly read.
'Guess which one goes to the fortress.' Yves sighed.
"Fantastic." Frohike rolled his eyes. "Let's get this over with."
"Uh guys, do you see that?" Jimmy pointed to another sign.
"Area 51." Byers read. "Government officials only, by order of the MIB."
"Men In Black?" Jimmy asked.
"Morris Incorporated Business." Frohike said.
"Subtle." Langly commented.
" This may require some stealth on our part." Byers looked worried.
'How the hell do we pull that off?' Yves demanded. 'I mean, we don't exactly blend in.'
"Yeah, and we can't just pull a switch either." Langly said. "I doubt they'd mistake us for employees, even if we had uniforms."
"We're going to have to sneak in." Byers said. "There has to be a back door."
"We could hack into the security database, if Langly had his Damn laptop." Frohike muttered.
"I told you already, take it up with GirlX!" Langly grumbled.
"If she ever gets back." Jimmy looked worried.
"Anyway." Byers began. "Lets try to FIND the building before we worry about how to get in."
"Uh, that might be it." Jimmy said.
A huge, Looming, rectangular structure made of dark gray stone appeared in the distance. It was in sharp contrast with the bright rainbow of flower fields surrounding it. No windows peered out of its blank, lifeless walls. The only visible entrance was a huge slightly darker steel door.
"Um..." Langly looked at the building wide-eyed behind his glasses.
"Yeah." Frohike said.
"So uh...any suggestions?" Byers asked weakly.
'Why do those flowers look familiar?' Jimmy wondered.
'It doesn't appear to be heavily guarded.' Yves said.
"Only one way to find out." Langly said.
They crept toward the MIB building, which was several hundred yards away.
"Those flowers look weird." Jimmy commented.
'They could have hidden listening devices.' Yves said.
"Let's check one out." Langly suggested.
"Byers, you're bullet-proof. Go grab one." Frohike said.
"I'm not going to get one!" Byers hissed. "You get one!"
"I'm not going to get one!" Frohike said.
"Don't look at me!" Langly said.
'Oh for God's sake, I'LL do it!' Yves hissed.
"Yves, wait-" Jimmy started too late. Yves was already slinking her way toward the multihued buds.
"Be careful." Jimmy whispered.
Yves rolled her eyes. Slowly she crept to the stalks and extended a claw and sliced the bud off it's slender green stem.
"Nice." Frohike commented as she carried it back.
'You're damn right 'nice.' Yves smirked.
Byers cautiously pried the budding pink flower open. He tapped the stem.
"Nothing." He handed the flower to Frohike. "Maybe they're just for show."
"Not l-likely." Frohike stifled a yawn. "The Wicked Witch of the west in there is too cautious to have these for no reason."
'Maybe the citizens of LGM have an allergy to these flowers.' Yves suggested.
Jimmy nodded thoughtfully.
Frohike rubbed his eyes. "I feel really tierd all the sudden."
Yves sighed almost inaudibly, 'Me too.'
"Get away from that flower." Byers said suddenly. "All of you. Quick."
"What?" Frohike dropped the flower numbly.
"What's the matter?" Jimmy asked thickly.
"What the hell is wrong with all of you?" Langly demanded. "You're acting like you've been drugged."
"I think they have been." Byers said. "Those flowers must contain some kind of poison. You and I haven't been affected because we're not living beings, sort of."
Langly nodded. "So they're not going to be able to get inside the fortress."
"Like hell I'm not coming." Frohike said, his head beginning to clear.
"We'll just have to figure something out." Jimmy said.
'You two aren't exactly suited for infiltration right now.' Yves smirked.
"Yves, see how far in you can get before you feel woozy." Frohike suggested.
'Why?'
So we can see the minimum distance until the poison begins to work." Byers said. "The rest of us will be able to go in longer than you."
Yves nodded and slunk toward the field again, apprehension almost visible in her liquid movements.
"If anything happens to her, I'm going in." Jimmy made a fist.
Yves began to creep under the enticing flower petals.
About a third of the way to the fortress, the Gunmen saw the black tail that had been twitching over the flowers, dip out of sight. Langly quickly retrieved her.
"Yves? Are you alright?" Jimmy asked.
"She's out, man." Langly said.
But Yves slowly blinked awake.
"Are you okay?" Frohike asked.
'I will be as soon as Blondie puts me down.' She said.
Langly obliged her. "Byers, what do you think?"
"I think that if we run, and hold our breath, we should be able to make it."
"What do we do AFTER we get in?" Frohike asked.
Byers just shook his head."We'll have to worry about that later."
"Yves, I'd better carry you." Jimmy said. "You'll pass out if you try to run."
Yves groaned. 'What did I do to deserve this?'
"Got GirlX mad at you." Langly grinned toothily.
'Shut-up.'
Jimmy scooped her up, much to Yves's displeasure.
"This should be a calculated maneuver." Byers began. "But we have no clue what we're up against, so screw it."
They all looked at Byers with raised eyebrows.
"That's a first." Langly commented.
"I want to get out of here just as much as you guys." Byers said.
"Apparently." Frohike said.
"Okay, lets go to the back door." Byers said.
-
"NOOOOO! Not the back door!" GirlX yelled.
-
"Sir?"
"What is it private?" Morris rolled his eyes.
"Intruders in the rear of the fortress."
"What did I tell you to do with them!"
"Right sir." The man retreated.
"Idiot." He muttered.
-
'I've gotta warn them!' GirlX moved the mouse franticly. 'What music should I use...'
-
"What the hell is that?" Langly stopped.
"Music." Jimmy said.
"I know that!"
'It's a repetitive verse.' Yves interrupted. 'It sounds like someone saying "See those danger signs, Sneaking up from behind." over and over.'
"The last time we heard music..." Byers would have paled, if that had been possible.
The five spun around.
"There's nothing-"
"OW!"
-
End of part 4