Hello! This is my first CSI fanfic but recently, I've had a few ideas floating around my head. I finally had the courage to try and get one of them on paper..well kind of on paper. So please, be kind as this is the first time I'm trying to write Sara or Grissom. Both of them are very complex and trying to channel them was harder than I thought.

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or the characters. God, I wish I did. If I did, GSR would have had many more moments in the original run of the show and they wouldn't have left each other like that did.

Setting of this story: This is going to be set around the time that Sara left Vegas. Only, she doesn't leave. What if the strong, Sara Sidle finally broke down and let the others in on her past? What if she finally sought out the help that was so greatly needed after almost dying?

Hand hold out, Sara flagged down a taxi. She slid into the back seat, work bag beside her. The dark-haired woman couldn't bring herself to go back to their townhouse to pack her belongings. Everything there was a reminder of him and their life together. Pictures hung on the wall of them together, smiling and happy. They had started to build a life together. Their dog would be waiting, having just been dropped off by the sitter. After years of the push and pull of their relationship, they had been together for two years. Two wonderful years filled with love and laughter. Making plans for a future. She had been living with him for nearly a year. They had agreed early on that this was it for them. He was her one and only and she was his. A lump formed in her throat as her thoughts moved to Grissom getting the letter that she had left for him at the front desk of the lab and reading it. She couldn't face him. She couldn't tell him to his face that she was leaving. She just needed to go. Or so she told herself.

When asked where to, she simply said the airport. She didn't know where she was going, what she was doing. The CSI didn't even give notice. She cleaned out her locker, left a note for her lover and walked away. Away from everything and everyone without a goodbye. If she had stopped to say goodbye to anyone, she would have broken down there. She would have crumbled, no longer the 'tough cookie' Warrick had once deemed her. She couldn't let them see her break. She couldn't allow them to know that tough Sara Sidle was weak and barely holding on.

Was this how Nick felt? The question had been in the back of her mind of weeks. She had wanted to ask him how he moved on, how he got over what had happened to him knowing he was near death because of the job. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She couldn't bring herself to ask him without letting on that she was barely keeping herself afloat.

Running. That's what she was doing. She was running again. Running from her fears and the ghosts that plagued her nightmares. Was leaving really going to make them go away? Was leaving everything behind really going to help? The tears started well again. She choked back the sob as she watched the strip pass her by. Every corner of this city held a memory for her. Sure, most of those were crime scenes but it was also a time spent with her friends. The friends that had become a family to her. A family that she had never been able to be open with. Never allowed them in on her darkest secrets, the ghosts that haunted her, that made her lay awake at night. Inhaling deeply, Sara closed her eyes and opened them just as the taxi passed by the diner that team use to frequent for breakfast after shift. A million thoughts running through her mind. They all trusted her to have their backs, but she hadn't even given them a chance to have hers.

"Pull over."

The words seemed foreign to her, like it wasn't her voice. The taxi driver pulled over towards the curb as Sara fished her wallet from her jacket pocket. She handed bills forward, more than enough to pay for the fair that she had accumulated during the drive from the CSI lab. She grabbed her work bag as she slid from the yellow car and slammed the door. The tears that she had been trying so hard to hold back were still threatening to spill over.

Before she started to walk, she dug out her phone, opening to the contacts. She knew what she needed. She hated to admit it, even the thought of finally admitting it to herself was making her stomach churn. But it was needed. Running wasn't going to solve all her problems. It would just make them all worse. She should have listened to her PEAP counselor years earlier. She knew she needed to talk about all her trauma, not just her on the job trauma. She needed to talk about her past, to be open and allow herself to work through everything she had been through before it ruined her.

Leading on the name she was looking for, she hit the call key and waited for answer. He was the last person Sara should be turning to but she knew he needed to be the first to talked to. She knew that he would be able to help her with little questions asked. Sure, they never got along. Ecklie never liked her and he wasn't a fan of Grissom or the fact that they hadn't come to him two years ago but if she was going to do this and do it right, she needed to him. As much as she hated it.

"Ecklie."

"We need to talk. Now."