Casandra, Ryusan: Thank you and here it is…
Caitlin: Thank you!
Disclaimer: Read the Prologue…
Warnings: Violence, bullying, tortured!Severus, swearing, slash, etc…
Chapter 4
The breeze was chilly as he sat himself on the grass by the lake. The Whomping Willow was quieter during autumn and usually completely still during winter too, as if hibernating. It amused many a student, though they were also thankful for the less hazardous tree.
Remus Lupin however depended on this tree and its dangerous qualities. He grew far more nervous during the colder months, scared that one day a student would use the tree's reserved state to investigate the hole in the tree's trunk.
He watched it quietly from his place on the other side of the lake, and pulled his scarf tighter around him. There were only a few more weeks of warmer weather left and Remus was intent on soaking up the last bits of sun that the time offered before the season changed.
He'd brought a book, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to read any of it. He had to come up with ways to keep kids away from the tree, especially during the night. It would not help if a panicky Hufflepuff found out about his condition and ran to a professor, screaming it throughout the school.
The last few years had seen that Sirius would stand guard all night, but he wanted his friend to get at least some sleep. He shouldn't suffer because of Remus' condition.
But there was something else on his mind, or to be more precise, someone: Severus Snape was being expecially cold to him lately, and it wasn't a glare and ignore thing either. No…
He now got biting remarks too, hexes sometimes, though they seemed to lack the fervor the ones Snape directed at Sirius and James had. What had he done to upset the Slytherin so much? It was a question he didn't have an answer for and found himself wondering if Lily knew; she seemed to know Snape well enough.
The thing he found most interesting and insulting at the same time was that Snape had seemed to want to get along with him. Snape had invited Remus to join him. Not the other way around. And since when can you decide whether you like someone after one outing? It had to take at least two. It took about two days with Peter and another one for James and Sirius before he'd realized he liked them enough to be friends and hang out with them.
Severus and himself had spent five years knowing about each other, not exactly talking, but they'd only spent actual time together once, and it had ended with Severus disappearing. Not the best start to a want-to-be friendship if Remus admitted it. Maybe he had to try again though…
He sighed and fell back against the slight slope of the hill, and breathed in deep, savoring the smell of freshly cut grass.
His eyes fell shut. As he began to drift off. He just had to persist and find a reason to hang around Severus. Just one reason, it was all he needed.
o0o0o
Later that day Remus was wandering down to the potions classroom, searching for Professor Slughorn. He had a question about their latest essay, and if he left it any longer, he'd have a less than happy professor on his hands.
He shivered as he neared the room. The Slytherins must be insane to live down here! It was too bloody cold. But he quickly forgot about the cold as he heard a girlish giggle come from the room. Remus slowly opened the heavy oak door and peered inside.
"But it's cute!"
Lily and Snape sat near the very back of the classroom, a steaming cauldron and books scattered about the desk and on the floor. Lupin almost gawked when Lily practically collapsed into a giggling fit and hugged herself close to Severus, who, by the looks of things, was as stiff as a board. He didn't look at all comfortable with Lily's proximity.
"Evans! What did you put in the potion?" Severus murmured, the sound muffled by his hand that had shot up to cover his mouth as the steam turned an ugly shade of green.
"Nothing!" She giggled, "I accidentally knocked it in!"
"Let go!" Severus hissed as she started to cry from laughing so much. When he finally wrestled her hands away and quickly grabbed his wand to set up vents before quickly getting rid of the potion with an elegant flip of his wrist.
"Evans, enough, go see Madam Pomfrey. I'm sure you can make up there by yourself? I'll deliver your things to you later today?"
The red head giggled some more, and stumbled clumsily to the door. Remus had to bound out of the way before she ran into him. He went red when she noticed him and called loudly, "Hello Remus!" She waved before continuing on her way.
When Remus turned to gaze back into the room, he wasn't very surprised to find the Slytherin glaring at him. "Taken to eavesdropping Lupin?"
Remus blushed brightly and hastily moved to pick up some stray parchment that had blown into the middle of the room. "N-No… I was just – uh… I was looking for Professor Slughorn, do you know where he is?"
Snape snorted, "In his office?" His eyebrow rose to emphasis his sarcastic tone, but it was soon gone as he carefully began to sort through the pile of parchment he'd collected.
Remus carefully placed his down next to Severus' and awkwardly began to stare at the floor, realizing very quickly that he didn't know what to say. "So… Why are you down here? With Lily that is?"
"I've been helping her with potions since October last year, Lupin."
"Oh."
Remus was on the verge of asking Snape to go out with him again, but realized it would only become another source to tease him with. Instead he took to recapping and cleaning the quills and ink on the desk.
"I… Would it be alright if you tutored me too? I can do the theory, but the actual brewing escapes me." Remus thought his heart was beating far too fast in his chest, he could hear it in his ears.
Snape seemed to consider the idea, though he didn't outwardly look like it. He continued sorting through the books and parchment before he finally half glared at Lupin.
"Fine. Every weekday evening at five o'clock, this room, bring your books."
Remus could have leapt with joy. He had his reason, he was now able to try and be friends with Snape. Lily would help too, he was sure of it and with her there watching them, he was sure he was safe from any fatal hexes and curses.
He nodded, "I will see you tomorrow then." He smiled and Severus returned it with a frown and held up a pile of books and parchment impatiently.
"This is Evans'. Make sure she gets it back."
o0o0o
As the door clicked shut after Lupin, Severus glowered at his quill pot, almost as if willing it to mock him.
What had possessed him to do that? He had just agreed to tutor Lupin! A Marauder! The person he'd ditched in favor of homework, just one week ago!
It was the little sleep he was getting, Severus concluded. It was making his desicions lousy and far too much like those that a Gryffindor would make. He got nothing out of letting Lupin sit in on his tutoring lessons with Lily. Not unless he included the torment the boy's idiotic Gryffindor's friends placed upon him. Lily at least offered simple conversation and news on the muggle world.
He sighed tiredly as he packed his supplies into his bag, and carefully slung it over his shoulder. He was going to go to bed early tonight, he promised himself.
Severus gasped and whirled to face the door when he heard it slam shut.
Lucius stood with his quidditch equipment propped against his hip, "I saw Evans leaving. She was acting like a drunk and was giggling like one too. Do you have any idea why?" There was an accusing tone in Malfoy's voice, though his face reflected nothing but an innocent, curious expression.
Severus scowled, "I tutor her." He stated simply, standing up straighter as he moved to stand in front of Malfoy, "May I pass?"
"No." Severus' eyes darted up to Lucius' cold grey ones, "What was the mudblood doing down here?"
"I was tutoring her."
Lucius smirked maliciously and dropped his quidditch equipment, "That was not the answer I was looking for."
o0o0o
Remus slowly made his way to the hospital wing, Lily's books and notes held under one arm.
He was glad Severus had agreed. He was glad that Severus and Lily got along so well; no doubt he was bound to piss off the Slytherin again, only this time it would end with him in the hospital wing; it was far safer to have Lily around.
Tutoring wouldn't be much fun, he was certain of that, and sighed softly as he realized he'd be getting insulted no matter how hard he tried. Many of the potions ingredients smelt foul, absolutely off. He had a sensitive nose after all, and he didn't think Snape would accept that as an excuse.
He knocked on the deep pine doors that led to the infirmary and walked in after moment of waiting. Lily seemed to be asleep, with the bed covers draped over her head. He considered asking Madam Pomfrey if he should remove them, but figured that if the nurse wasn't making a fuss, there was no need to worry.
"How's Lily?" He asked as Madam Pomfrey ushered him into the room. Before the old nurse could answer a giggle erupted from beneath the covers of the bed.
They were flung down, though still clutched tightly in Lily's hands, "Pick-a-boo! I see you!" She then threw the covers over her head again and giggled some more.
"Delusional, Mr. Lupin."
Remus nodded a look of worry on his face, though as Lily repeated her actions he couldn't help but smile.
"Remus!" Lily flung her arms up into the air, "It's Remus!" She giggled and tittered for a bit, grinning broadly as she did so. "Guess who I saw?" She strained to hide her glee behind her hands.
Remus remained silent, now very worried over his friend's well being. Had that potion made her lose it? She was far too happy.
"Who?"
Lily giggled and hid under the blanket again, "I'm not telling!" She sung. Refusing to let the blankets budge as Remus attempted to pull them away from her face.
Remus looked awkwardly at the school's nurse, who shrugged slightly, "It will ware off soon."
"Remus!"
"Yes Lily?" Remus copied her tone.
"Guess who I saw?"
As patient as always, Remus replied, "Who?"
"His name ends with 'S'."
"Severus?"
Lily giggled, and Remus sat down in a chair, "Nope! Though I saw him before I saw this person. Another clue? His name starts with 'L'-"
"Lucius!"
"Aw, you're no-"
But Lupin wasn't listening. Didn't Severus admit that Lucius liked to poke fun at him? If Lily had seen Lucius, then he'd had to have seen her, stumbling up from the dungeons…
Lily was already asleep when he moved to question her, and was quickly pushed out of the infirmary by Madam Pomfrey.
His feet automatically started to move him out of the hallway. But instead of turning right, he turned left, towards the dungeons, towards what he hoped was an alive and well, pissed off Severus Snape.
o0o0o
The sea.
That's what he felt like he was standing on, in, he didn't know. His lungs hurt making it hard to breathe, the rest of him aching in the same way. His voice was near gone, his throat raw from screaming. And his clothes were ripped, some parts stained red. He couldn't help but collapse against the wall, using it as leverage as his body felt as though it were made out of lead.
His bag and books were scattered hazardously across the cold stone floor, his ink bottle shattered, much like his mind. Unlike the ink bottle though, he would rebuild it.
He didn't notice the mess though as he carefully moved along the wall, stopping momentarily after every step, willing himself to walk up to the hospital wing. He collapsed though, after a few more steps, his legs finally falling from underneath him. He tiredly leant his head against the wall, looking like an old, broken rag doll.
"Severus?" The door was flung open, though the sound reminded him of waves. "Severus…"
The darkness came in waves, crashing into him before running away again.
"Lupin?" The last thing he saw as his eyes fell closed, was Lupin's worried face and his arms extending out to catch him.
He was drowning.
Fire: I really do love Severus, no matter what I put him through… Anyway… Please review and let me know what you think… What could I improve? Do you have ideas? I'm happy to hear all…
Thank you for reading…