Thursday 7:46pm the 12th

Well this is fucking great. Absolutely fucking great! I can handle my home town baseball team losing for the fucking sixth time, I can fucking handle my serious boyfriend having to work through our three month anniversary, those things I can handle…but having to clean every fucking utensil in the kitchen drawer five times plus that contaminated piece of shit crab infested spoon…NO I draw the fucking imaginary line there god damnit! WHAT THE FUCK! Oh my god…this is the grossest thing I have ever been covered with. NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH CLEANING MY WHOLE DANM WARDROBE BY GOING TO THE DRY CLEANERS ALL BECAUSE THAT ONE NIGHT STANDS CRAB JUICE GOT ALL OVER ME! FUCK!

"Is everything okay in there?" Rachael's brother shouted from the bath room where he and his date was.

"I'm fine! I was splashed with… crab juice from the kitchen sink." She whipped her face with her gloved hand that was in the water. She paused then realized that she put crab water all over her face.

"SHIT!" Rachael slammed her hand down on the counter and bit her bottom lip while rolling her eyes.

"What happened?" he yelled.

"Just hurry the hell up in there! I have to sanitize that area as well." Then she got back to scrubbing.

"Remember! A lil' crab juice on someone's shirt never hurt nobody." He sounded playful, like this was one hell of a disgusting joke, and it was. When both the kitchen and bathroom door were open, you could see straight in to both rooms, and with that, Rachael looked over at her brother and flipped him off with her rubber glove on. He smiled then focused on his date that was sitting on the tub.

"She had crabs tonight? Ugh, they can be so messy" Jenny stated rolling her eyes. He gritted his teeth and smiled.

"No. She didn't have crabs, but I know someone who does." He grinned real big. When Jenny didn't take the hint, he started on the standard brake up percegers. He leaned over to Jenny and gently placed both of his hands in hers.

"Jennifer." He almost had puppy dog eyes.

"I thought it was Jenny?" she gleamed with a smile.

"No. Only beautiful people can have nicknames." She blinked like his words hit her like a brick in the face as he took in a breath. He began to speak softly.

"Jennifer. I am like a puzzle. I'm colorful. I am complex. I have people wanting to play with me all the time. But this me puzzle is missing an important piece. This missing piece is pretty, has nice shape to it, clean, and is sturdy. This piece has everything I need to fill this me puzzle and complete me. He then stopped speaking soft.

"But you, Josie."

"Jennifer"

"What ever. You…DO NOT fit that missing puzzle piece. I'm sorry." He got up before his date could say a word.

"I thinks its best if you leave. Now….and don't touch me or anything in my house on your way out….or my sister." Jenny got up.

"Well. What am I going to do the rest of the night." She sounded helpless. He looked at his watch.

"I believe A.C. Moore is still open. They supply a lot of wood at that store. He raised his eyebrows. His ex date looked confused.

"Wha...?"

"Its best if you just go now, Josie." Jenny was too startled that she didn't notice that she should have corrected her name again. He walked her through the hallway and out to the front door.

"I don't understand?" she announced turning around.

"Please don't hate me. You just don't fit the puzzle remember. It's nobody's fault but yours….good bye, Josie." He slowly closed the door on his date as she stood in the doorway still not knowing what just happened. When the door shut, he locked every dead bolt on the door, all five of them really fast, like he couldn't wait to get rid of her, he couldn't.

"I can't believe you just said that to her." There was a smile on Rachael's face.

"What?" he shrugged

"About the whole puzzle piece thing, and forgetting her name again…..you're a real jerk, Donte."

"Aw so what. Did you forget the fact that she used our kitchen ware as a crotch scratcher!"

"No but…"

"But what?"

"I would have bitch slapped you for that puzzle comment you made." Donte laughed.

"I know you would have but…." He rolled his eyes.

"But what?"

"No other woman would have." Monroe gasped.

"You don't think any other woman in her right mind would have slapped you!" Donte smirked then laughed.

"No. I'm too charming to slap."

"What! You're in insane! Any woman would have slapped you. But Josie…"

"Jennifer."

"What ever."

"She didn't because you must have picked up a drunken one or something."

"Actually it was a scheduled date. I picked her up, and we came straight back to this apartment. No drinking at all." Monroe crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"So you really think that you would never get slapped by any woman no matter what you say."

"Yes, Rachael. That's what I think." He smiled. "I could say that they are no more appealing then a bore in heat."

-SLAP-

"Ow! What the hell was that for Rachael!"

"You shouldn't be so cocky with your no slap attitude towards women. If a woman gets disrespected by a guy she has the right to slap him. I was just giving you a demo of what it'll be like for you the next time."

"There won't be a next time. I'm telling you, Rachael, I could tell anything to a woman and she would just…understand."

"Ya know….the baseball game sucked and there was no rioting and I was just about to make one my self but, if you're saying you could prove this overwhelming charm for no woman to slap you, then I think we could make this real interesting." She looked him up and down. "What do you say Donte?" Donte opened his mouth to refuse the request but then just smiled.

"Okay, Rachael. You're on." Rachael bit her bottom lip then smiled back.

"Cool. These are the terms. We go pick up a hooker off the street."

"No ugly chicks right?" Rachael rolled her eyes.

"No ugly chicks. We go pick her up and bring her back here, home base. You start sweat talking her while I'm in the closet next to you listening, AND recording everything you and she say. Keep it decent."

"Can I lie about my identity?"

"I think that's best if you do. A hooker can track down anybody. So tell her sweet charming stuff but nothing about sex…I hear there are more undercover cops on the street then there are hookers."

"When do I start insulting her?"

"Whenever. But don't make it too harsh Donte. I don't want to feel bad about this in the morning." Donte nodded.

"How many are we gonna pick up?" he asked.

"Um, best two out of three?" he nodded again.

"Okay sounds good. How much money are we betting on?"

"What? We need that money to coax them in the car and ride with you to our house."

"No. All we need is my never stopping charm and good looks, Rachael." He smugly stated. Rachael grinned her teeth.
"Fine. I'm in for forty." She puts a hand out.

"Same here." Donte shook his sister's hand. "Now let's get the fuck out of here and round me up some hookers! YEEHAH!"