Ancra Mortis Chapter 4

In orbit over Glaeba was a collection of vessels, the word fleet did not really suit for they were a motley assemblage of scows, wrecks and junkers. By all rights none of the vessels should move, any sane engineer would swear that they would leak air and tear themselves apart the first time they lit their reactors, but move they did and fight. The ramshackle flotilla broke orbit and headed out to deep space, they moved sluggishly out of the gravity well but picking up speed once they were free, eager to meet the oncoming imperial fleet.

In the centre of the motley congregation was a blunt-faced Kroozer, covered in primitive armour and with a ludicrous amount of gunz poking out of its prow and flanks. Once it had been a proud ship of the Imperial Navy, once it had been known as the Pride of Valdor, a Dominator Class cruiser of Battlefleet Bakka but now it was a tool of the Orks. They had found it dead and adrift in the cold reaches of space and taken for their own, now it was filled with roaring Greenskins. It was called Da Bighamma and it had just fired its Nova Cannon, a feat few would believe Orks were capable of achieving.

On the Kroozer's bridge was bedlam, a chaotic anarchy that would have horrified any naval officer with its disorder and inefficiency. Consoles sparked and worn cables trailed over the deck like a basket of snakes as a grainy Hololith jumped erratically overhead, casting mad lights over everything. Orks ran to and fro, bellowing at each other while gretchin sat idly at consoles, picking their noses and scratching their bums. One of them even pulled a gobbet of snot from a nasal cavity and idly wiped it on the back of the head of the gretchin sat before it.

In the middle of this walking calamity were a trio of Orks, each far bigger and more muscular than the rest, as befits leaders of the Greenskins. The first and by far the largest was a strange sight, he wore an odd assortment of garments, all of various colours and materials that strained to cover his bulging muscles. In one hand he casually held a cleaver the size of a logging saw and on his head was a tricorn hat with a faded red feather. His face was a mass of scars and from its lower lip protruded a single massive fang that was capped with steel and sharpened to a razor edge. The Ork's name was Razatoof and he was furiously bellowing, "Wat da Kak was dat?!"

The second Ork was only slightly smaller and wore a ramshackle suit of Mega-armour, it was coloured grey with black and yellow chevrons that announced it had formerly been a suit of Terminator plate from the Iron Warriors. The former owner's head was stuck on a spike that rose over the Ork's shoulder. and painted in big red letters across its chest was the name, Skulcrusha. The Ork answered the question bluntly, "We missed, Kaptin."

Razatoof barked, "I's can see dat ya git, wat I wants to know iz how?"

The third Ork spoke up, this one festooned with spanners, wrenches and a big lenspiece over its forehead that proclaimed it was a Mekboy. The Ork's name was Nutgud and he stated in an distracted tone of voice, "Quantum variances in the alignment of the gravimetric impeller field renders the probability of actually hitting a specific target extremely low at this range."

The other two stared at Nutgud, waiting for the Mekboy to make sense. The Ork saw their stares and stuck a finger into his ear, he wiggled it up and down then he ventured in more Orkish tones, "Errr… Just Bad luk?"

Razatoof snarled, "Rite den, whose in charge of da Klabba?"

From the mad anarchy one Ork stood up and said, "Me Boss, its Zakkad."

Razatoof glared at the Ork and spat, "Wat's Rule One?"

Zakkad frowned and quoted by rote, "Da Boss iz a Kaptin, an' he's da only Kaptin."

Razatoof didn't looked pleased as he growled, "Rite, and how does you explain missing?"

Zakkad thought about it and said, "Ummmmmmm…"

Razatoof's cleaver blurred as the Kaptin threw it, spinning over and over to shear off one of Zakkad's arms in a shower of gore, leaving the Ork standing there dripping blood from the stump.

Zakkad looked down at the stump and said, "Geez, thanks for not taking me head off Kaptin."

Razatoof shrugged, "Just a warning shot for a first offence, get your arse to da painboyz later and they gives you a new arm, all dead snippy like. Now back to work and don't miss again!"

As Gretchin dragged the cleaver back to the Kaptin, Razatoof looked up at the fizzing and static filled Hololith. He stared at the oncoming Imperial fleet sailing right towards them, they were spreading out now to lessen the chances of being hit and picking up speed. Razatoof chomped his jaw eagerly as his eyes fixated on the Space Marine Battle-barge headed their way and said, "Hoomies iz sometimes good for a scrap but Beakies, they always gives da Boyz a proper fight."

Skulcrusha sniffed, "Dem Marine Boyz ain't so tough, those Bugs croppin' up everywhere, now that's a rite good fight."

Razatoof shook his head making his feather quiver, "Bugs iz alrite but there's never any good loot after. Beakies always has the flashiest grubbins and you'ze knows Rule three."

Skulcrusha nodded and said, "When you Zog em, Zog em good and 'ard."

Razatoof scowled and said, "No dats Rule two, wats Rule three?"

Skulcrusha's forehead crinkled in furious concentration as he tried to remember more than two things and he went, "Urrrrmmmm…"

Razatoof sighed, "Always make sure to gets away with da bestest Loot."

"Rite," said Skulcrusha in relief then said, "Dats why we filled our bilges with Swag."

Their conversation was interrupted as a Gretchin started leaping up and down, waving its arms as it cried, "Kaptin, Kaptin its Big Boss RotSkarr on the horn from da planetside! He aint happy, he wants us to fire da Klabba again sharpish!"

"RotSkarr iz a berk and he aint up here," Razatoof declared, "We fire da Klabba when I'm good and ready."

He paused dramatically for effect as the Orks all looked at him then he said, "Rite dat's long enough… fire da Klabba!"

The order sent a furious swirl of activity racing around the dilapidated bridge, Orks shouting contradictory orders at one another and Gretchin running around in confusion as they tried to obey everybody at once. Such a mad tangle should never have manged to achieve a complex operation like firing a Nova Cannon, but somehow out of the chaos rose order, patterns forming in the anarchy with instinctive ease. The Orks had no idea how they managed to do it but slowly power drained away from the ship into the mighty gun and targeting algorithms poured into wheezing cogitators as the Nova Cannon prepared to fire.

In the centre of the madness Nutgud yelled, "Da Klabba iz getting hot, she's almost ready to fire!"

Razatoof growled, "It had betta work rite this time."

Nutgud nodded eagerly and said in a distant tone, "Gravitic impellers are at eighty-five percent charge and show no variance in field alignment, if the targeting is correct we should hit our target."

Skulcrusha frowned and said, "Wut?"

Nutgud blinked as his eyes cleared and then said in more Orkish tone, "Da gun iz dead straight now."

"Gud," said Razatoof as the lights dimmed over the bridge and gravity was sent skittering off kilter as power drained from all over the ship. He paused and stared at the Hololith impatiently. After a long moment a big red light started flashing all over the bridge and Razatoof yelled, "Fire ya gits!"

The whole length of the Bighamma shuddered as the Nova Cannon discharged, accelerating a projectile towards the Imperials at near-light speed. The entire ship shook violently as if it had been slapped, decks bucking under the Ork's boots and flinging Gretchin about like rag dolls, many falling under heavy machinery to be crushed but no one cared about them. The whole vessel was shunted backwards by the recoil of the shot, its plasma engines flaring like captured suns to compensate for the loss of momentum.

On the bridge Razatoof watched the Hololith and saw the bomb going off, a crude gravity device imploding to create a microscopic black hole right over the spine of one of the Imperial cruisers. Void shields proved useless as the gravity waves tore at the cruiser's superstructure, ripping armour plates, guns and internal braces right out of the hull to leave gaping holes. The wounded ship lurched horribly and fell behind, limping along as air and plasma spilled out of the gaping holes in the hull.

Razatoof bellowed with harsh laughter and roared, "Dat's more like it!"

Behind him Skulcrusha didn't seem quite as elated and muttered, "Just aint da same."

Razatoof spun on his heel and barked, "Wut was dat?!"

Skulcrusha started in surprise and said, "Nothing Kaptin, just saying a proper Ork should be doin his Zoggin all up close and personal like."

Razatoof stepped forwards and growled, "Iz you callin me Yella?"

Skulcrusha looked the bigger Ork in the eye for a moment as the whole bridge watched the confrontation but then he backed down and shook his head stating, "No Kaptin, no I aint saying dat."

Razatoof gave him a long, hard stare then said, "Gud… now what's dem Hoomies doing?"

Nutgud fixed his lens over his eye and peered at a console before saying, "Dey pickin up speed Kaptin, comin right at us dead fast like."

Razatoof chuckled and said, "See, didnt I say dem Beakies are always gud for a fight, now get your arse in gear and fire da Klabba again."

Nutgud glanced at the Hololith where the Imperial ships were barrelling towards them, the great Battlebarge at their head charging like a maddened Grox and he asked, "We got time for dat?"

Razatoof declared confidently, "Dere's always time for another Zoggin."

Once more power built up in the Nova Cannon and the bridge lights dimmed, the only illumination now came from the Hololith which showed the Imperial fleet hurtling forwards, desperately trying to close the range. Razatoof paced back and forth in frustration as the long preparations occurred but then, just as the Imperials were about to cross the threshold of effective range, the lights flashed red and the Kaptin yelled, "Fire!"

Another projectile shot outwards and hurtled into the Imperial formation, against all odds the bomb actually impacted a starship, at near-light speed, with a force no conventional weapon could achieve, ploughing deep within to cause catastrophic damage. It was one of the Firestorm class frigates and it simply disintegrated under the blow, shattering to fling debris outwards in all directions. Then the bomb's gravity waves surged and it was all sucked back inwards, crushed into a tiny ball of wreckage.

Razatoof laughed uproariously at the sight in the Hololith, "Dat's the way to do it!" His laughter died when he saw flurries of Ork ships passing by them in the Hololith and he bellowed, "Wat's they doin?"

Skulcrusha answered, "Looks like dey wanna get in the fight before us."

The Hololith flashed as if in response to his words and Nutgud yelled, "Hoomies launchin Torpedoes Kaptin!"

Skulcrusha barked, "Da fight's startin without us!"

"Sod that!" Razatoof bellowed glaring angrily at the crew, "Get dis piece a' Kak moving, dere's a proper fight on and I aint gonna miss it!"