Chapter 7
L looks around the house while she's waiting for Dudley to wake up. The upstairs and garden fits both Harry and Petunia's personality traits, with an expansive garden and everything neatly arranged for utility and aesthetics. It's when she gets to the rather large basement that she's confused, as it looks as though someone has gone to a Home and furniture sale and just brought everything home with them, with the exception of a small area by the stairs where there's a desk with a computer, and a virtual game station set up. Shrugging her shoulders, she settles into one of her favourite past-times, trolling the internet. She's enjoying herself so much that she doesn't notice when Dudley comes downstairs and stands behind her.
"Hi, I'm Dudley, what are you doing?"
Oh, interesting traits there, "Hi, I'm L. Your mother asked me to look after you while she took Harry shopping for his school stuff. As to what I'm doing. It's the greatest thing ever, I'm trolling the forums."
"What's that?"
"Grab a seat and I'll teach you the fine art of trolling." – Dudley brings a chair over – "Trolling is an artform where you post a controversial topic on a forum. To do it successfully you need to do a bit of research first, otherwise the forum users will spot the post from a mile away and start warning off the newbies. Once you've researched your subject, you need to carefully craft your initial post. The one I'm currently fanning is R.E.F.U.G.E vs N.E.R.V.E they're both similar Horror Adventure games where the aim is to survive, and they have large fanbases. So what I've done is craft this post at the top, where I poke at several controversial points, but not the obvious ones. I've then had to stoke the fire a few times as you can see here, and here to get the flame war truly going. I'm now just sitting back basking in the flames."
She turns her head to look at Dudley's rapt expression, oh yes, she's got a nice little apprentice in this one. He might not have the traits that would lead him to replace her, but she can certainly shape him into a Chief of Mischief easily.
"Dudley, I didn't introduce myself properly. I'm L Faba, Sage of Mischief. If you want I can teach you everything you could ever want to know about causing mischief." – Dudley's head does an impression of a bobble head in the back of a car going over speed bumps – "Then my first lesson is this, in any successful prank the only thing that should ever get hurt is feelings. If you can avoid that even better. This little flame war is causing tempers to flare, but nobody is in danger of being hurt by it. The second rule of pranking is never target someone that is weaker than you repeatedly, as that's just bullying. Magic can be a useful tool for pranking too."
"There's no such thing as magic."
L sighs and creates a meal on the desk beside the computer, "Whoever told you that was lying."
"You're a freak too!"
"Unless you want to spend some time as a lamp being turned on and off, you will not use that term in my hearing again. I am not a freak, I am a sorceress, this body is actually a duplicate of my real body, that I have to keep in the realm of magic. And anybody can become a sorcerer."
"Prove it."
L grins evilly, this was almost too easy, "Certainly, though you'll need to come to the realm of magic. There's a portal by the waterfall near here. If I give you magic, will that be proof enough?"
"Uh huh."
"Well, eat up and then I'll show you the way. I still want to stoke the flames here a little, so you can watch while you eat."
Dudley did while she continued to stoke the flames and explain how she was getting the most results for the least effort. She also pointed out the people that had noticed that she was trolling, but far too late to help. She never wrote more than a couple of lines at a time, usually asking for clarification about a point. Once he finished eating she shut down the computer and led him through the hamlet out into the countryside to the waterfall.
"We just need to cross the river here to the portal you can see on the island there. Be careful as while the water is shallow on this side, if you slip over you could still be dragged over the waterfall."
She takes his hand as they both walk across to the portal.
"If you walk through the portal, I'll meet you on the other side."
With that she allows her duplicate to fade away leaving Dudley on his own looking at the portal. He's not sure how long he stands there, but when someone else comes through before trying to get on a broom before it takes off, dragging them along for the ride, he decides that it must be safe. As he steps through he's greeted by the sight of L playing on some sort of fancy clipboard and a large building behind her.
"Oh, you made it then. Well, the first thing I need you to do is find 7 motes of magic." – L casts a spell to allow Dudley to see the motes of magic – "They're the pinky purple balls of light you can now see dotted around. Once you've got 7, come and find me on the ground floor of the library over there."
Dudley blinks and looks around, laughing he runs over to one of the balls and grabs it. He frowns as it seems to coat him rather than be picked up, but his arm now glows the same colour. Over the next hour he hunts down another 6 motes before going into the Library.
"I got them all L!" he says proudly.
"So I see, are you ready?"
"Yep, still don't believe you."
"Stand right there."
With the assistance of the motes of magic, it's a trivial matter to cause magic to channel through his body until it's permanently lodged inside him. When the spell finishes L frowns as he stands there with a happy grin on his face, but not showing any of the life he was showing before.
"Dudley, why don't you go and read one of the books from the bookshelf over there?"
Dudley happily walks over to a bookshelf and pulls a random book out before sitting down on a nearby bench and reading it. A faint tightening around his eyes the only thing that betrays the pain his feeling. Oops, it's almost like he's minionised.
When Dudley finishes reading the book, L says, "Dudley, I think you should go back to the house and play some video games until Petunia and Harry get home."
She then watches as he walks off to do exactly that. With a sigh she makes a new double and sends it after him.
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The group finally leaves Gringotts with the local currency and happy expressions all around. Once they're away from the steps Harry turns to his aunt.
"How did you do that thing with the spark of magic on your finger?"
"I'm not really sure, as I was so angry I was just doing it. But I think I cast Scruberoo and held it on my finger."
Harry laughs, "So if you'd let the spell off, he'd have been the cleanest goblin in the building."
Petunia laughs, "Yep. It's the only spell I know after all."
Minerva interrupts the potential conversation, "I think at this point we should get your wands done and checked out, as Harry I know that we need to make sure that yours will be suitable. It should also give me the time to go through what you need to know about the magical world."
With tacit agreement they all troop off to Ollivanders, though Simeon breaks off when they reach flourish and blots to check out the books. Hermione and Harry both look at his back wistfully. Finally they all crowd into the dimly lit, and cramped wandshop. Apart from a counter with a money box on it, the whole store seems to consist of shelf filled with wand boxes.
From behind them, a creepy old man with milky white eyes says, "Good afternoon Minerva, 9 " fir with dragon heartstring, stiff and well suited to transfiguration. I hope it's been treating you well."
"It has indeed."
"And Harry Potter, I thought I'd see you here at some point. I'm sorry to say I sold the wand that was used to give you that scar. Which has healed nicely I see. Shall we see which wand will suit you best?"
"Actually sir, we wanted you to check if the wand I'd already picked up was suitable." Harry places his wand of Astral Creation on the counter.
"Hmm, formed out of moonstone. I don't tend to use crystals for wands as they are very finicky and prone to be brittle and easily broken. And it has a, oh my, no it's been imbued with astral energies. I hope you'll forgive me if I don't test the wand for it's suitability, as I do not wish to be an unwitting conduit to the astral plane. However, if you would lift your wand like this and say Lumos, we'll see if it's suitable for wizard work."
Minerva cautiously throws her elbow over her eyes, having had far too much experience with being blinded recently, as Harry does so. A brilliant white light, comparable to a white phosphorus flare, fills the small shop. Apart from Petunia, everyone else clutches their eyes in pain.
"Harry, say Nox!" she shouts desperately, and sighs in relief when he does.
Ollivander casually draws his own wand and proceeds to cast the spell to cure flash blindness on everyone, "Yes, I think that wand will do well for you. I fear that with the amount of magic you're using one of my wands would be burned out in minutes."
"Oh, cool. Sunbeam, can you take Hermione and I to casters Alley to the wand shop please?"
A fulgent flash of light leaves Minerva cursing as Ollivander, wand already in hand proceeds to recast the flashblindness removal spell, "I think it may be prudent to wait outside the shop until the children return. May I ask where he got such a wonderous wand, and why I want to pass off what just happened as completely normal?"
Petunia says, "Harry gained something called the interface several years ago. This has enabled him to do things that he shouldn't be able to do. A little over a week ago he went to the Realm of Magic, and met Simeon, who I think is currently in the bookshop. I'll send him a text and ask him to come over, one mo." – She sends the text and then continues to talk – "Anyway, people with the interface constantly shed the nano-machines that enable it to work. Don't ask, I don't understand it myself but Simeon might."
"May I understand that these machines alter the brain to supress the 'That's odd' response to things that involve it?"
Simeon says from behind him, "That's correct. At low levels of saturation, all it does is make the things we do seem normal. Though people still react to the events normally, they just don't question how they happened. So, if Sunbeam is involved, you probably feel like it's just typical phoenix behaviour. Which it is, just more powerful because she's got a direct link to the realm of magic through Harry."
Ollivander twitches, "Actually, no it was Harry pulling his wand out of nowhere I was thinking of."
"Oh, that too. In fact, that sort of thing especially. It also smooths over the abilities people might have, such as being a mermaid, vampire, alien, or in Petunia's case, spellcaster. Again, according to our records, it doesn't change their reactions to what they do with those abilities, just whether it's natural to have them or not."
"I'm glad that I incorporated those mental protections when I first started hunting wand cores. As there are some magical creatures that can do similar things. Let me tell you about my encounter with a…"
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Harry and Hermione both appear in Casters Alley in a flare of light that has the people around them blinking back tears, but nothing worse than that.
"Right, here we are. Have a look at the store and see what wands appeal to you."
"Erm, Harry, how exactly am I supposed to do that. There's a ghost standing in front of an empty store."
The shopkeeper starts at that statement, "Excuse me Miss, did you say that you can't see my wares?"
"I did."
"Can you try focusing on me and then select browse wares?"
Harry laughs, "Oh, right. She doesn't have the interface."
"Oh my, I've heard stories about people like you. What's it like living without it?"
"Ah, I don't know as I've never had it, so it just seems normal to me."
"Right, well let me pull out my wares and you can look at them. If you want to know what anything is just ask." He then proceeds to lay out three wands, three familiar orbs, and three tomes. Meanwhile Harry has bought one of each of the tomes as well as a wand.
"Do you mind if I pick the wands up?"
"Go ahead, it's not like you can run off with it without the interface."
"Hey, Harry, this wand looks like it's the same as yours. Are you sure it's safe for me to pick it up?"
"I ah, don't know. Erm, would it be ok if we went to see one of the sages and got her imbued with magic?"
The shopkeeper smiles, "Go ahead. I'm just going to chat to the other shopkeepers, they'll never believe that I've met someone that doesn't have the interface."
Harry takes Hermione's hand and drags her off to the Library through a glowing portal, "Sunbeam, can you see one of the sages around? Oh, upstairs thanks. Come on Hermione."
They find L first, sitting on a bench by the rooftop garden.
"Hey L, this is Hermione, she's going to be going to school with me. Could you give her magic the same way Simeon did with Petunia please?"
L's eyes focus on Harry, "You know the rules, she need to get 7 motes of magic."
"But we're in a hurry, and I gathered loads while my Aunt was looking for hers."
L sighs, and then glances at Dudley through her double, "OK, take her hand and get ready. Hermione, are you sure about this?"
"I am."
L heaves herself off of the bench and casts a spell on harry to transfer the motes to Hermione. Once she's coated in magic she casts the spell to open the channel to the realm of magic through her. As Hermione lifts into the air and screams with agony, a thumb sized Glimmerstone forms in the air in front of her. When it finishes L catches the stone as Hermione collapses to the floor.
"Fuck that hurt, why didn't you tell me it would hurt?"
Harry looks contrite as he says, "I'm sorry. I didn't know, as it didn't hurt me."
L nods in agreement, "I agree with Harry, I've never seen it hurt. Can you look up and down without moving your head and see if you've got any additions to your vision?"
"Nope, nothing. Should there be?"
"You don't have the interface, so that could be why it hurt so much. This is your glimmerstone, you can use it to return to the realm of magic, although it takes around 24 hours to recharge when you do. Do not lose it as you have to go through the same thing again to replace it, even better turn it into a necklace or something like that."
"Thanks L, Hermione, are you ok to go back to the store and pick a wand or do you want me to just grab one of each and we can go back to Ollivanders?"
"Would you mind grabbing one of each?"
"Sure, I also grabbed the tomes of Good Fortune, Morphiate, and Transportalate, even though I know we won't be able to learn the last two for years."
Harry is only gone for a few minutes before he returns with three wands, "Here you go, you can pay me back later when you've got your own money."
Hermione impulsively gives him a hug, "Thank you Harry, we should get back. Thank you for giving me magic L"
"You're welcome."
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When a Fulgent flash of light comes from his shop window Ollivander wraps up his story of chasing a magical creature that alters the perceptions of people and animals around it, he calls it a crumple horned snorkack, as a defensive mechanism. As he enters his shop he frowns at Hermione.
"Miss, Hermione you're different somehow."
"Oh, L was kind enough to give me magic. Mum Dad, I really don't recommend it, as it really hurt. Anyway, Harry bought me a selection of wands to choose from, see. Though I don't like the look or feel of this bone wand. I can't decide between an Astral wand like Harry's or the Sylvan wand."
Petunia says, "I've been getting on well with my Sylvan wand, so you might like that one."
Ollivanders milky eyes stare at Petunia, "You can use a wand?"
"I can, I'm a sorcerer."
"I wasn't aware that Lily Evans had a magical sibling."
"She didn't, but she does now."
Ollivander hides a grimace at that news. Especially given that his mind is trying to tell him that it's perfectly normal, "Well, it looks like you won't need anything from me then. Unless of course you'd like to buy wand holsters for your wands. Which is something I highly recommend, as it will keep your wand safe from being snapped or broken. It will also be kept close at hand for when you need it."
Gene looks at his wife, "Well, as it seems like we're saving some money today on the wand purchase, why don't we buy both the kids a holster."
Jean nods, "How much do you think is a good amount to spend?"
"£20 each?"
"Sounds good, that's what, 2 Galleons each?"
"Sounds about right, Mr Ollivander, what can we buy for 2 Galleons?"
Ollivander lays out a variety of holsters, from plain leather to Dragon leather and acromantula silk. As he's going through the benefits and disadvantages of each, along with the difference between cross draw and spring draw, Simeon distracts them by casting a spell on one of the wand boxes. Another box appears on the counter beside them.
"Sorry about that, I hope you don't mind if I copied that wand. I want to have a closer look at it back home."
In a slight panic, Ollivander pulls out the original wand box and then carefully inspects the wand. Frowning he then inspects the copy, then both side by side.
"How did you do that? It's impossible."
"Copypasta, it's a great practical magic spell for duplicating small items."
"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave my store, as each of these wands represents hours of work. I cannot allow you to just copy them."
Simeon shrugs and walks out.
Jean and Gene end up buying Harry and Hermione a cross draw, dragon hide holster each. As they leave Ollivander closes the shop and pulls an unspeakable badge from his robe pocket before tapping it and disappearing with a pop.
Simeon turns to Harry and Petunia, "I'm going to go now, thank you for inviting me it's been fun. I might come back again with L and Morgyn. Hermione, look me up when you're next in the realm of magic and we can start teaching you magic."
Harry pipes up, "Won't she need to learn Simian first?"
"Oh, that's true. Well, the best person to teach you Simian is probably L."
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After an almost full day of shopping the six of them are sitting in the Hopping Pot with more and more witches and wizards coming in to see Sunbeam. When they find out from the other patrons that she's Harry Potter's familiar an almost reverential silence falls over them and they quietly get a drink from the bar and find somewhere to stand.
At the table that is the centre of all the attention everyone is looking somewhat uncomfortable.
"Professor McGonagall, is it going to be like this every time I come to Diagon Alley?"
"To be fair, I think it's a little worse than it was the Headmaster when he met Fawkes in the 50's. When we finish here we have one stop before we're done for the day."
"I don't see why you wouldn't let us do Flourish and Blotts first."
"I made that mistake once, and I know the signs of a bookworm quite well now. If I had, we'd still be there and have got nothing else done."
"Right, I've had enough. Sunbeam, could you go home and we'll meet you there? I'm going to change my outfit and I'll meet you outside."
The occupants of the table have enough time to cover their eyes as Sunbeam lifts off from Harry's shoulder and, with a screech of agreement, disappears with a Fulgent flash of light. The rest of the bar, who all tracked the phoenix as she took off, start screaming in agony as the light sears their eyes.
"Two stops, we have two stops to make and then we're done."
Jean says, "Why two stops?"
"I want to buy some glasses that will protect me from that bloody phoenix. Jean, I suggest you do the same."
Gene responds, "Huh, what?"
"Not you, Jean."
"I am Gene."
"Gah, I meant your wife."
"Why didn't you just say so?"
She catches the sly twinkle in his eye, "Why you, how long have you two been waiting to do that?"
"Most of the day, you just weren't using our names at all." Jean confesses.
Petunia stands up, "Shouldn't you do that floo thing to get those people that can cure these people?"
"No need, one of the staff from the back is already doing it, see?"
They all head outside to meet Harry, who is now wearing a reversed baseball cap, yellow bomber jacket, black tee shirt and trousers, and trainers.
"Right, are you lot ready?"
"Yes we are young man, and you really shouldn't have left the pub without a responsible adult around. It's a good thing that you didn't decide to go on ahead, as our first stop is actually going to be the optometrist." Minerva then leads the group to the optician.
Petunia leans over to Harry and says softly, "Don't worry, she doesn't know that you've basically been forced to raise yourself for the last 6 years, even with my increased attention. Just try to enjoy it."
Harry nods before catching up with Minerva, "Professor, is there more to the lumos spell than just saying lumos and nox? As the simple spell that I learnt over the last week involved lots of theory about how to manipulate your magic to make the spell happen."
"Not as such no, it's a spell that's based more on intent than anything else. Most of the spells you learn this year will be the same. There will be lots of theory though, so never worry about that. If you want advanced theory and spell deconstruction and analysis, then I suggest you take Arithmancy in third year."
"Why have we added the optician to the list of places to go?"
"I'm going to buy a set of glasses that will protect me from bright lights and sudden light changes. You may not have realised it, but most of us are badly affected by your familiars transportation method."
"Oh, I noticed. I just didn't know you could buy glasses that would do that. I mean, you could probably go out into london and buy some decent sunglasses. But you wouldn't be able to use those indoors."
"Oh, they come with far more than just that. My current glasses have an auto correction enchantment. They've also got unbreakable, imperturbable, and sticking enchantments so that they can't break or get dirty, and I can't lose them."
Once it turns out that auto correction, unbreakable, and light correction will only come to 1g5s3k on top of the glasses, Jean and Gene both get their glasses enchanted and Hermione finds a nice pair for 6s. Harry and Petunia share a glance, and then buy the same thing as the grangers to show solidarity. When they receive them, they get a notification that magical glasses have been added to their wardrobe.
Finally, they get to Flourish and Blotts, with 1 hour to go before the store closes. At this point, the parents don't see any sign of the children except when they're bringing one book or another back to the counter. While Jean and Gene both grab all of the school books that Hermione is to excited to pay attention to, Petunia demurs citing Harry's parents books, and needing to check what they already have.
Harry and Hermione both bond over exploring the bookshop, and it is with some surprise to both of them that they can keep up with each other when it comes to discussing things. They ranged from physics, to books, to preferred activities, to the books that they were buying now. It was two very happy children that left with nearly £500 worth of books, even if most of them were technically Harry's.
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Ollivander stalked through the halls of the department of mysteries in his unspeakable robes. Everyone that saw his body language got out of his way as he headed for Croakers office. Croaker jumps when he slams the door open, and then when Ollivander slams two identical wands on the desk.
"We have a problem."
"Not even a good evening?"
"This is too important. Which one of those is the original?"
"What do you mean, it's obviously. Ah, hmm." Croaker starts to cast a battery of spells on the wand, some of which are to detect enchantments that only Department of Mysteries know are put on wands.
"I honestly don't know."
"That's not the worst of it, Petunia Dursley. You probably know her from the files as Petunia Evans, sister of Lily Evans who married James Potter."
"Yes, I know who she is. I don't know of any unspeakable that hasn't read up on Harry Potters file this year."
"She has magic."
Croaker croaks as he tries to do a spit take while gasping. The croak quickly turns into a choke followed by a coughing fit. Once he gets himself back under control he says, "You what?"
"She has magic."
"That's what I thought you said."
"She and Harry also both exude a reality filter that is more subtle than the one emitted by crumple horns. Their filter makes you want to believe that what they're doing is perfectly natural. He has a new breed or gender of Phoenix as a familiar, and I wanted to just accept that it was a she. I checked in on the goblins about the ruckus earlier, and they thought it was perfectly natural that Petunia could do wandless magic of that magnitude, even though we have never been able to do wandless magic like that. They thought it was bloody scary, but perfectly natural same as her familiar. She calls it Veild."
"And the wand?"
"An associate of theirs, by the name of Simeon, copied it using magic. He wanted to take it home to study it."
"That is terrifying. He copied the wand perfectly, enchantments and all."
"I have reason to believe that wherever they come from, they use this magic prolifically, as Harry took Hermione to buy a wand from the same place he bought his from. And dear Merlin is the flash that phoenix produced while flaming bright. Anyway, when they came back she had three wands, all of which were of superlative quality, however one of them was identical to Harry's wand. Which is scary enough just having one of those wands around, as it's imbued with Astral Energies instead of a core. The Sylvan wand was even worse, as it contained at least 5 different willingly given heartwoods from a dryads grove. The bone wand was positively prosaic in comparison."
Croaker takes a couple of deep breaths, "Ok, so any one that's on official contact duty needs to be qualified to look after the Snorkacks. I'll add that to Harry's file, and start one dedicated to Petunia. I want you to start a file on the girl and her family, I don't want us to be surprised if she starts to show a similar filter effect. You know, Xeno is going to be so upset. He's been taking his family to the reserve every year for the last 5 years, and they still haven't seen them. Also, get these down to research to see if they can find anything. If they can't we'll prime project arpeggio in case the wizarding economy collapses."
"Adopt muggle currency?"
"Not quite, move over to a fiat currency by getting the goblins to issue paper Galleons to replace the physical ones."
@revanvador: Vernon did it by a combination of abuse of power, money, and good old fashioned charm.