Chapter 4: In The Old Book Of Nandor
Chapter Synopsis: Valaina studies hard to try and help Henduluin recover his past, using all of her father's old books. Meanwhile, feelings between the two begin to strengthen…
& Key points: I stole the lyrics to "May It Be" by Enya for the spell. The story is stolen from the site called: The Encyclopedia of Arda. Also, before you all start going off about how Legolas would know the story, remember he lost his memory. Great. &
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Days passed by quickly as each page turned. Valaina had spent those many, many days reading through her father's old books. The ones he had inherited from his father, all of old Nandorin history and spells. She was determined to find a spell that would bring back Henduluin's memories. He deserved to find them, to realize his past.
But it frightened her. She did not know what would happen after his memories were restored. He would have to leave her to go back to wherever he came from. He could be married. He could be engaged. He could have a family waiting for his impending return. She couldn't even bear to think about it and instead threw herself into the books.
That evening, Henduluin brought back a deer and prepared a venison stew for Valaina had her nose in another book. She didn't know it but he was worried about her and thinking about her just as much as she thought of him. He didn't like the way she had been studying the old Nandorin pages nearly every second of every day since he had asked her for help. She hadn't been out of the house in many days and often skipped meals and woke up in the middle of the night to read more.
He ladled some of the stew into a bowl and held it out to her. She didn't even look up but merely turned the page and continued on.
"I am not hungry." She mumbled, nearly too enveloped to even form the words. Then suddenly the bowl was set on top of the page she was reading and she looked up to see Henduluin standing over her with a disapproving look on his face.
"Eat." He ordered sternly, as though commanding a child. He then took his seat on the opposite side of the table. He watched her carefully, waiting for her to pick up her utensils and eat.
"But Henduluin I am very close to-"
"You will kill yourself. Eat." He continued to wait until finally she sighed, picking up her fork and eating. He chuckled under his breath upon seeing how quickly she finished her first helping, knowing that she was starving.
"Valaina," he began once she was on her third helping, "tell me about your family. I want to hear about your life."
She paused, raising her eyes from her bowl. She could see that he was quite serious and the curiosity plain on his face was true. She set down her fork and pretended that this didn't bother her. She had tried to avoid the subject for the weeks that he had been with her for talking about her family was painful.
"Both my parents were descendants from the old Nandor race. We were of the last of the followers of Lenwë. You see, the Eldar lived in the land of Cuiviénen. My father used to tell me stories of Cuiviénen, stories passed down from generation to generation. He used to describe its beauty as though he had lived there himself, though he was born on the journey from Cuiviénen. The elves there lived in peace beside the Sea of Helcar where the first of the elves awoke during the Years of the Trees." She paused once more and saw Henduluin's eyes shining as though he were a young elfling. She smiled. "Do you know the story of the Years of the Trees?"
He shook his head, still longing to listen to the rest of her tale.
"During this time, Valinor was lit by the light of the Two Trees, but Middle-earth lay in darkness.
Long before the elves awoke, Yavanna created the Two Trees of Valinor to give light to realm of the Valar. So began a reign of peace in Valinor, but Middle-earth was lit by starlight alone, and Melkor worked in the depths of Utumno in the north of the World. It was during this period that Aulë made the Dwarves, and set them to sleep until the coming of the elves.
When Oromë discovered that the elves had awoken at Cuiviénen, great changes came about. The Valar made war on Melkor to protect the Elder Children of Ilúvatar; Utumno was destroyed and Melkor brought in chains to Valinor. The Valar also summoned the elves to dwell in their land, and many answered this summons.
A period of three ages followed. Melkor was imprisoned in the halls of Mandos, and the Valar and Eldar dwelt together in the light of the Trees. In the darkness of Middle-earth, the Dark Elves who had not journeyed to Valinor still dwelt, and the Fathers of the Dwarves stirred. Men would not appear until some time after the end of the Years of the Trees.
These Years came to an end when Manwë released Melkor from his imprisonment. For a time, the Dark Lord pretended friendship with the Eldar, but he turned back to the darkness. With Ungoliant, he destroyed the Trees, stole the Silmarils and fled back to the north of Middle-earth. Seeking revenge, Fëanor led a great part of the Noldor out of Valinor and back to Beleriand.
So the Years of the Trees came to an end. At this time, the Valar made the Sun and moon to give light to the world, and the Years of the Sun began, and with them the First Age."
"Now to continue on with the story of my family. Lenwë, our leader, set out along with the other Eldar to live in Aman with the Valar in Valinor. As I said, my father was born on this journey. But when the elves reached the Anduin and saw the Misty Mountains that crossed their path in the west, Lenwë led a part of the Teleri south, down the Vales of Anduin. This became the Nandor race.
My father grew up there and met my mother. She died while giving birth to me, and so I never met her, but my father would always describe her to me and tell me stories about her. He told me that they called her beautiful for she was the loveliest of all the she-elves. He used to tell me I looked so much like her. I think it hurt him, that I reminded him of her." Her voice trailed off and she realized that she had been staring into space. She shook her head, blinking to regain her composure.
"After my father sent my mother down the Anduin he grew very sad. For a year he left me in the care of my grandfather while he wandered Middle-earth. Whenever I would ask him why he left he would tell me that he had to find himself. That he had to search out his destiny. And he found that it was with me and so he returned.
For many, many years we lived in peace with the rest of the Nandor. And then one day we returned from one of our hikes and there were orcs there." She stopped for a moment as if remembering every detail. And she could. She could remember the smell, the sights, she could hear the screams. "Everything was…destroyed.
My father and I sent each body down the Anduin and it took many days. When we had sent each one we then hiked into the forest with everything we could salvage. It is here that we built this house to live in. And we were very happy here until the day my father was killed."
Henduluin was snapped out of the trance he had been in. He had memorized every word that had left her lips and all had been locked away in his mind forever. He felt sorrow and pity for her, wondering if he should have asked at all. He decided not to continue his questions though he was curious as to how her father died.
Valaina suddenly got to her feet, feeling quite vulnerable and saddened at the moment. She found that speaking aloud of what had happened made it all the more real and hurt her even worse. She could already feel the tears readying themselves though they weren't rising just yet. But soon they would be and she would have hated for Henduluin to see them.
"I will be going to the Anduin now. I am feeling rather…dirty." She forced a smile though she knew it probably looked very fake. But before Henduluin could protest she took the towel, soap, and sponge all in one quick motion and was out the door.
Meanwhile he sat at the table by himself and he felt badly that he had asked. He knew something was odd about the way she often stopped herself before going on to talk about her family and yet he had pried. Why had he done that? He wanted to pound a fist into the middle of his head over and over again.
He got up from the table and decided to follow her. He hoped to the Valar that she would not cry but knew deep down that she probably would. And if she did he wanted to be there to console her. He felt the need to…the want to.
As he silently made his way through the forest he began to consult the feeling deep in his stomach. The feeling as though it had leapt up, flying out of his throat and up towards the Heavens. It was a surprisingly good feeling though when he described it to himself it sounded horrid. How could your stomach jumping out of your body feel pleasant? But it did. And his chest seemed to yearn for her as though it had hands that reached for her.
Wait.
He nearly stopped in his tracks. Her? How had that come out? Sure he thought about Valaina but they were merely close friends. He even whispered it to himself but it sounded so wrong to his ears and to his heart. Friends. No. Something deeper was there and he knew it.
Upon coming to the edge of the forest he stopped in mid step. From the west, towards the pool, came sounds of quiet sobbing. But they were not haggard, horrid sounding sobs. They were soft sobs that sounded like chimes in the air.
He walked along the bank towards the pool. He was surprised that her sobs didn't become louder as he neared her. When he came close he could see her standing with her back to him, face buried into her arms which rested upon the flat boulder. Her shoulders shook with her quiet sobbing.
"Valaina?" He waited for her to acknowledge him but when she didn't he began to trudge into the water. He didn't seem to care when his trousers became soaked, quickly followed by the bottom of his shirt. When he was a few feet away, water up to his waist, she suddenly picked up her head and turned to face him.
He had never seen her hair free from its braid before. She would always have it braided to keep it away from her face and now it was down. Her hair was a golden brown color and fell in loose curls midway down her back. The ends were a bit wet and so they were darker but other than that they were dry and all its true color.
She was still wearing her dress, the one that she had been injured in. But the half quarter sleeves had been pushed up to reveal slim shoulders the same slightly bronze color as the rest of her skin. He had always thought her attractive but she looked even more beautiful now.
Her face was sad. Tears were still falling down her cheeks, curls sticking to the streaks. And even from afar he could see that there were more waiting to escape. Now the urge and longing to help her was even fiercer, burning in his chest.
"Henduluin." She reached out to him though every fiber of her being was positively horrified that he had seen her this way. She began to walk towards him. "Henduluin."
He came forward and met her halfway, wrapping his arms around her as she threw her arms about him. She buried her face into his shoulder and began to sob harder, crying out but the sound muffled by the material of his shirt. He held her around her back, stroking back her curls with one hand.
"Cry all you want to Valaina. I know you are hurting and I am sorry that I made you relive that. Valaina. Oh Valaina." He murmured soothingly. The yearning in his chest had gone but the stomach-less pit continued to grow. It was her. He was in love with her.
She skimmed through the page over and over again. She had found it. She had found the spell that would restore Henduluin's memories. And she was frightened. She was worrying about what would happen once he recovered them. What if he was married? Engaged?
The night before she had been feeling things she had never felt before. Even simply talking with Henduluin was enough to make her feel as though she couldn't breathe. But when he had put his arms around her it made it harder for her to cry let alone breathe. He had been so kind and tender with her.
She couldn't bear to think about what would happen to him. All she knew was that he would leave…
"Valaina, have you found it?" She looked up to see Henduluin leaning over her, scanning through the text himself. His eyes flickered up to meet hers and she could have sworn that they were somewhat sad. But perhaps it was only her hoping she'd seen it.
"I have. We should go outside to do it, in the fresh air and open space. It says that the spell might make you a bit dizzy." She explained, shutting the book. She had looked it over enough times to have memorized the words. The words that would drive him away.
They went outside and stood a few feet from the house. Henduluin couldn't help but look it over as if it were the last time he would be seeing it. But he refused to let his past interfere with the life he had made there. She meant too much to him to lose her.
Valaina stood in front of him nearly toe to toe. She hesitantly reached up, placing her index and middle fingertips to his forehead. Though she had a task at hand she couldn't help but notice how silky his skin was beneath hers. Suddenly she was embarrassed of her worn, rough skin. He saw the blush consuming her cheeks and smiled. When she returned it he caught sight of the dimples he loved so.
"Are you ready?" She asked, looking up into his icy blue eyes. It saddened her to think that they might not hold the same warmth, the same kindness. Would he be the same elf she knew? The same elf that walked with her to speak with the trees? The elf that sat and joked with her in the garden while she worked? The elf that caught dinner and helped her prepare it? The elf she had fallen in love with? She nearly broke down but stopped herself for his sake. He deserved to remember.
Fear filled her chest and took hold of her heart in its grasp, squeezing hard. She winced, a sign of her immense pain. A certain elf saw this. He could see the fear conquering her honey brown eyes. He knew she was thinking about what he would recover. He took her fingers from his head and held them in his own, gazing deeply into her troubled orbs.
"I will not leave you. I want to stay here with you."
"And if you must go? What if you must go?" She questioned, trying her hardest to shut out his words. She knew that after he'd recovered his memories, his outlook on her might change. He might want to go back to his old life.
"Then I will bring you with me. Valaina, I-"
"Don't say it please." She begged, pulling her fingers away from him. She somehow knew he would say the three words she wanted more than anything to hear from him. But what if he loved another in his past? What if he remembered that love? Her heart would surely break.
She pressed her fingers back against his forehead and began the spell before he could cut her off.
"Darkness has come. Believe and you will find your way. Darkness has fallen." She held her fingers in place, closing her eyes so that she did not have to look into his as he began to remember. She thought it better to remember them happy.
As Valaina repeated the spell, her words becoming quieter and quieter, Henduluin wished to break her from the trance. A part of him was afraid that his memories would conflict with his life with her. But he decided then that he would make it work. For she and him.
His eyes traveled her body. She had a slender, feminine form. Her curves were simply lovely and fit her body perfectly. He noticed a very alluring freckle imprinted upon her right shoulder and smiled, wishing to run his fingers over it.
And then suddenly she was visibly shaking. At about that time a lightheaded, weightless feeling began to creep in over his senses and cloud his thoughts. He knew the spell was taking affect.
"Are you alright?" He asked concernedly. Through the daze he reached out, placing his hands upon her tiny waist. She trembled underneath him and he felt something tugging at his heart. This was hurting her. "Answer me. You are scaring me Valaina."
She gasped, fingers dropping from his forehead. He expected her to faint into his arms but instead she flew forward, grasping the back of his neck and pulling his head down to her level. Their forehead touched and almost immediately he began to see things in front of his eyes as though he were really there.
A forest was above, a large forest. But he was not in the forest. He was beneath it. Beneath? How could that be? But he was. He was underground and he was not the only being there. Dozens of other elves and she-elves alike walked past him as though they did not see him. Beautiful homes stretched out in the underground tunnels.
"Greenleaf. Greenleaf. Greenleaf. GREENLEAF." The name was screaming itself from the very bowels of the kingdom. Yes kingdom. He knew this was a kingdom. But whose kingdom? Where was he? Did he live in this place?
Voices. Many of them. He was gone away from the crowds of perfectly formed elves and he was somewhere new. It was a castle. The very heart of the kingdom. And he somehow knew where he was. For instance he knew that the trees, covered in vines and intricate ivy, started steep but widened at the top and led to the different rooms burrowed into the castle. Each room was beautifully decorated and expressed the naturalness of the elves and of the forest.
Mirkwood. Mirkwood! He knew that was where he was. He had lived there all his life with his father and his younger brother. Yes. He was remembering. He and his father had always been close, a large and wise elf who had seen many things in his long life. His younger brother had always looked up to him. King Thranduil. King? Then he was…
She gave out first. He could feel her falling to her knees and reacted though he was still in his trance. His arms tightened around her waist and pulled her to him. He held her there, one hand holding the back of her head while the other remained around her waist. But she was still conscious, still there in the trance with him.
But the concentration was lost when he gave out also. He fell to his knees, still clutching to the she-elf. Her hot breath was against his neck, her face pressed far into it while her hands shakily fisted his shirt. He found himself shaking as well, his head filled with what he had lost and it was overwhelming.
"Valaina…" It was then that he blacked out.