As the days went on, Sam made huge strides in her rehabilitation. In a few short weeks not only was she moving around on her own, she was lifting small amounts of weight on her injured leg. She was getting stronger and stronger by the day, and yet, instead of being happy about it, she was growing sadder ever day. She knew the stronger she got, the closer she got to active duty and the closer Jack came to leaving.
At the end of her latest rehab session with Donna, Janet showed up.
"Hey Janet," Sam said, smiling, "What brings you by?"
"Well, Donna called and told me that you were doing absolutely fabulous and that I should come check you out." Said Janet, taking a seat on the corner of Donna's desk. "I can see what she means. You look great. How do you feel?"
"Good, really good." Said Sam, "I'm still a little sore in the morning, but nothing I can't handle."
"Great," said Janet, "Because Donna has recommended that you go back to active duty."
Sam's face dropped, but she quickly covered, "Well, that's great!"
Janet didn't miss the disappointed expression on her friend's face, "What is it Sam, I thought you'd be thrilled to be back on active duty. No more being stuck at home and all."
"Oh," said Sam, "Um I guess I'm just a little comfortable the way things are, you know?" She looked over at Donna, quickly covering the true meaning of her statement, "Uh, like you know when I didn't want to walk without the bars?"
Donna nodded, addressing Janet, "Sam got so comfortable walking with the bars as her safety net that she didn't even realize she didn't need them anymore, and was a little reluctant to stop using them." She looked over at Sam, "But you did it, just like you will when you go back to active duty. I can see you're ready, but you have to be ready too." Sam nodded, "Look, just think about it. I told Janet I could clear you for light duty right now, but you need to mentally be ready to do it."
Janet looked at Sam, "It's up to you. Just know that you can't avoid active duty forever. Take a few days if you need to, but when you're physically ready for full active duty..."
"I know," said Sam, "Look, if you guys think I'm good to go back to work, then I'll go. I got over my fear the last time and I will now. I've been in worse situations, right?"
"If you're sure," said Donna, "I think light duty for the next few weeks would be ideal in easing you back into running around offworld."
Sam nodded, "Yeah, I'm sure. When would I go back to work?"
Donna looked at Janet, "Well," said Janet, "It's Monday, why not give it the rest of the week and we'll put you on light active duty in one week."
"Ok," said Sam, "One week." She took a deep breath in and blew it out, "I think I could do that."
"All right." Said Janet, "I'll get the paperwork together." She turned to Sam, "I'll talk to you later."
"Thanks Janet," said Sam, turning to Donna. "What about rehab?"
"We'll still do rehab on our schedule for the next 3 or 4 weeks while you're on the base, ok?" said Donna.
"Ok," said Sam, "See you in two then?"
"See you in two," said Donna.
"By," said Sam walking down the hallway to Jack's temporary office. She had so many things running through her head. She was glad to be doing so well physically, but she knew that doing well meant losing Jack. It wasn't like he would be out of her life, just back in D.C. But things hadn't been the same since he went to Washington. There had been no more seeing each other every day. Now there were only daily emails and phone calls once or twice a week, and a day here and there at Jack's cabin with the guys. While she knew they could never have a relationship, being with each other every day and working side-by-side had almost compensated for it.
All of that changed since she had been injured. Now she saw him every day. It was like being given a gift. She had her friend back with her every day and she loved every minute of it. She took a deep breath and shook her head. What was she going to do when he left? The house was so full with Jack in it. From his "singing" in the shower to the way he got into a baseball game, yelling at the screen and the umpires. The house was alive with well, life, with Jack there. What a lonely place it would be when he left. And he had to leave, she knew that. Even if he wanted to stay they were still in the Air Force, and they still had rules to follow. Although the more time she spent with Jack, the more she was beginning to rethink those rules...She stopped in front of his office, took a deep breath, and knocked.
"Come in," said Jack.
Sam peeked her head around the door, "Whatchadoin?" she asked, imitating him.
"Hey," he said, "I'm finishing up some paperwork. I'll just be a minute. Have a seat."
She sat down in the chair across from him, "Wanna get lunch?"
"Sure, I'm starving." He finished writing and put the papers in a folder, "So how was rehab? Donna isn't misbehaving is she?"
Sam smiled, "Rehab was good, and Donna is behaving fine thank you." The smile quickly left and she stared down at her hands.
Jack stopped what he was doing, "What is it Sam?"
Sam continued to stare at her hands; "Janet's clearing me for light active duty on Monday." She didn't look up at him, just continued to keep her eyes glued to her intertwined hands.
"Oh," said Jack, taken aback by the news, "So...you're good to go then. Fit as a fiddle so to speak."
"Guess so," said Sam. The two sat in silence for what seemed like eons. Looking at anything but each other.
"When?" asked Jack finally, spinning the pen on his desk.
"Um, Monday. I go back on active duty on Monday. And I still do rehab 3 times a week for 3 to 4 weeks."
There was more silence before Jack said the inevitable. "I guess that means you don't need me around anymore. I mean, I did say I would stay until you were on active duty right?"
"Or until I could kick your ass," she said, looking up at him, a small smile on her face, "and I don't think I can do that yet."
Jack smiled back, "Yeah, but I think we both know that I have to unfortunately go back to Washington. Whether it's now or Monday." Jack watched her intently, "Sam?"
"Yeah?" asked Sam.
"You're thinking again, I can tell." He said.
She looked at him, "How can you tell?"
"You get that faraway look in your eyes. Like if I stood in front of you waving my arms you still wouldn't see me." She smiled, "So...whatcha thinking about?"
She got up and walked to the other side of the office, staring at a poster on the wall, "What if I didn't go back to active duty?"
"What?" asked Jack, getting up and walking towards her, "Now why would you do that? You've been wanting to go back to work for awhile now."
Sam turned to look at him, her blue eyes filled with sadness, "I...we.."
Jack looked at her intently, "What?"
They stood there, just staring at each other. Finally, Sam shook her head, "Forget it. It was nothing." She turned from him, taking a deep breath and then blowing it out, "Let's just go to lunch."
Jack stood in her path, "You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," said Sam. Sam turned to leave and Jack followed behind her. By the time they got to the commissary, the usual suspects were waiting for them for lunch. When they heard that Sam would be back on Monday they proposed a party, with cake. Sam volunteered her house and they made their plans for Saturday night.
Jack kept his eye on Sam, who kept up with the conversation and the plans, and seemed to be happier than she was while she was in his office. He knew where she was going with the conversation about not going back on active duty. He had thought the same thing about not going back to Washington. But in the end, this is the life they had chosen. Problem was neither one of them seemed to be sure about it anymore. He knew one thing for certain, he didn't want to leave Colorado Springs and Sam, he sensed she didn't want him to leave either. But there was no way for him to stay, at least in the way he wanted to stay. He wanted to be with her as more than her friend, but they both knew it couldn't happen if they both stayed in the Air Force. That didn't make it any easier for him to leave, though, and he dreaded the weekend and the party. That would be his last night home with her. He would have to leave on Sunday afternoon to get back to his life in D.C. A life he was beginning to think had too many rules and regulations to deal with anymore...