Jack grabbed an Airman as he flew by, "Airman, what's going on?"
The Airman looked directly at him, "Jack, you know what's going on. Now hurry or you won't make it in time..." The Airman turned and ran with the others.
Jack stopped, "Make it in time for what?" he shouted. He had no idea what was going on, but he had this horrible feeling in his gut. He needed to get to the gate room and now. So he started to run. Slowly at first, and then as fast as his feet could carry him. He turned the corner into the gate room and was shocked by what he saw. Teal'c was standing over someone and he was covered in blood. Daniel was next to Teal'c, obviously injured, as was Cameron. Janet was leaning over someone, begging them to hold on and breathe. As he got closer, his stomach tightened and he couldn't breathe. It was Sam! She was covered in blood, and Janet was trying to get her to breathe. They tried the difibulator several times, and finally Janet stopped, "Time of death," she said in a shaky voice, "0500 hours."
When she put down the difibulator, she turned to Jack, "This is all your fault."
The others also turned to Jack, "Yes Jack, this is your fault." Said Daniel.
"She died because you weren't there to save her." Said Teal'c.
"You weren't there to help her Jack. She would be alive if you had been there..." Said Cameron.
Jack stared at Sam's lifeless form on the ground "Noooooooo!"
Jack woke up sweating and unable to breathe, "Sam? Sam?"
"I'm here Jack," said Sam, going over to him on the couch, "I'm right here." He sat forward on the couch and put his head in his hands, "You ok?" She asked.
"Bad dream," was all he could get out. "Very bad dream."
"Was I in it?" asked Sam.
"What?" asked Jack, trying to clear his head.
"When you woke up, you were calling for me. I wanted to know if I was in the dream?" she asked.
"Unfortunately you were." Sam looked at him quizzically, "You died."
"Oh," said Sam. "Definitely a bad dream."
"And they all blamed me for your death. Teal'c, Janet, Daniel, Cameron. They all blamed me. Said I didn't protect you enough. That you'd be alive if I had been there."
"Jack, I thought we were through all of this. My injuries weren't your fault."
Jack got up off the couch rubbing his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, I know. I know." He shook off the chill that ran through him, "Damned dream." He turned to look at her. "What're you doin up?" he asked, sitting across from her.
"Couldn't sleep," she said, getting up from the couch.
Jack stopped her, "Wait, what's wrong." She turned away from him, but he gently moved her chin so she faced him. Her eyes were red and puffy. "You've been crying?"
Sam turned away from his hand and got up, "I'm fine."
"Sam," said Jack.
"Don't Sam me," she said, her voice rising, "This isn't right Jack. This isn't right and I can't think of a way to make it right."
Jack knew what she was talking about. He put his head in his hands.
"I spent the whole party tonight watching the clock, hoping it would be over so we could have one last night under the same roof." She was pacing now, "And then, everyone goes and we're alone, and it turns out to be the last thing I want."
"What do you mean?" asked Jack, "And can you stop pacing, you're making me tired just watchin you."
"I've been sitting here, watching you sleep. You know you sleep with your mouth open, and...and...make these cute snoring sounds?" Jack raised an eyebrow, "All I've been doing is trying to get the image of you sleeping on my couch burned into my brain, because it's the last time I'm going to see it. The last time I get to just be Sam around you." She continued to pace, her voice rising. She was having trouble getting the words out, and she was starting to cry, "Tomorrow is the last time you'll make me breakfast. The last time I'll laugh out loud listening to you sing in the shower. The last time this house will be full of life. Tomorrow I go back to being single, solitary Carter. The brilliant scientist without a life. And you know the worst part, Jack? I COULD have a life. WE could have a life. And yet neither of us is willing to give in to make it happen." She finally stopped behind the couch and shook her head, her hands in tight fists at her sides. "You know, right before my dad died, he said something to me that I didn't quite catch right then. And now, I get it. NOW I get it. When there's nothing I can do about it."
Jack was staring at her the whole time. Watching her slowly lose her composure right in front of him. He felt the same way as she did. He really didn't want to go, but he had no idea how to stay. He cleared his throat, "What...What did Jacob say?"
Sam sat on the couch, "He told me he wanted me to be happy. And he told me that I shouldn't let the rules get in the way of that." She shook her head again, "God was I stupid. I thought he was talking about Pete, and me but he wasn't. I get that now."
"He was talking about us." Said Jack. "Jacob meant that we shouldn't let the rules get in the way of us being happy."
Sam nodded, her voice low and soft, "And you know what? I've been sitting here and all I can think about is what he said." She reached for his hand, "Jack, I'm starting to wonder why we're worried about the rules at all. If we weren't together you'd still worry about me, as much as you would were we a couple. Look at how my getting injured has affected you. You're punishing yourself for not being able to protect me. You've been worrying about me as more than just a teammate for years. It would be no different if we were a couple."
He looked at her intently, "What do you want to do Sam, break the rules?" She looked away. Jack took a deep breath and blew it out, "We both picked this line of work knowing what the rules were." She nodded. "Look, you've never disobeyed a direct order, or thrown the rules out the window. Well, except the times when you were under alien influence. I know that if you're thinking that we break the rules, then you've exhausted all the other possibilities. Right?"
She looked away, "I honestly don't know. I can't be the scientific thinker right now, Jack. I'm not being rational. My heart is doing the thinking this time, and I can't ignore that. I can't ignore how empty my life is going to be once you walk out that door. I can't ignore the fact that emails and phone calls and sporadic visits won't work anymore. Not after this. Not after all that we've become to each other. I don't want to lose Sam and Jack, do you?"
He traced tiny circles on the top of her hand, "You know I don't. We have been friends and colleagues for 9 years, Sam. I always thought I knew you well. Then I started to take care of you and I realized something. There was this other side of this incredibly beautiful, incredibly brilliant woman that I had never seen before. This injury gave me a gift too, Sam. It gave me the incredible opportunity to see this other wonderful side of you. I don't want to go back to D.C. and an empty apartment. I want to stay here, with you, and as more than your friend. I just don't see how that could happen. Am I happy about it, hell no, but I have yet to come up with anything except me retiring."
"You can't retire Jack, this country needs you." She said, holding his hands tighter.
"And you can't retire because you're brain's too important." He laughed.
They both sat silently for a minute or two, each of them staring at their intertwined hands.
Sam sniffled, and Jack could tell she was crying again. He reached over and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks, "Please don't cry, Sam. I can't stand it when you cry."
She looked at him, "I don't know what else to do, Jack. I don't understand. We've saved the planet more times than I can count, risking our lives time and again, and we're not allowed to be happy because of a rule? God Jack, I tried to move on. I tried to put you out of my mind and get you out of the picture and look where that got me. I almost got married to someone I didn't really want to marry."
"You dumped Pete because of me?" he asked.
"I didn't dump him because of you." She said, looking shyly down at her hands, "I dumped him because he WASN'T you."
Jack reached over and tilted her head up. Her beautiful blue eyes shone with of all of the love that she was never allowed to show him. He wiped the stray tears from her cheeks, leaned over and rested his forehead on hers. Their eyes locked and he had the sudden need to kiss her. She seemed to have the same need and their lips met tentatively, both knowing they were breaking the rules. They broke the kiss, just staring into each other's eyes. The second kiss was full of the underlying passion they had denied themselves for the last 9 years. Jack knelt in front of Sam, his arms encircling her waist. She wound her hands around his neck and buried them in his hair. When they finally came up for air, they again rested their foreheads together, breathless.
"Was that anything like our kiss in the loop?" she asked, taking in ragged breaths.
"Nope," said Jack, Sam eyed him strangely, "It was much better." He leaned in to kiss her again, "Yup, definitely much better. And that one was a doosey."
Sam lifted her head and looked him in the eyes, "We should stop."
"I know," said Jack, taking her face in his hands. "I don't want to stop, you?"
"Uh uh," said Sam, "I don't want to stop either..."
"There's no goin back..."
"Nope," she said, kissing him again, "No goin back."
They both froze when they realized what they were contemplating doing.
"Oh god," said Sam, "We can't. We shouldn't have..."
Jack shook his head, "I know, I know. Dammit to hell. This is not the way this is supposed to be." He reached for her hands again, "Look, you're the brilliant one. There's gotta be something we can do. Something that will appease everyone."
Sam shook her head, "Well, let's see. You can retire. We can both retire. We can lie and sneak around. I mean, think about it. We're not first and second in command anymore, shouldn't this not really apply to us anymore?"
"Ok, here's what we're gonna do. I'm going to call Washington and tell them I won't be leaving til Monday. That gives us all day tomorrow to come up with something. We'll get a copy of the fraternization regs and go over them with a fine-toothed comb and see what we come up with. I'll be damned if we don't fight for this. We've fought hard for everything else. We've busted our asses for our country and this planet. There's gotta be a way for us to be together without getting both of us court-martialed."
A small smile crept to Sam's lips, "You're sure you can stay for one more day?"
Jack leaned over and kissed her again, "Youbetcha."
"Ok," said Sam, yawning, "I think I can get some sleep now. We'll figure this out tomorrow." She looked at Jack mischievously, "Wanna stay on the couch?"
Jack smiled, "I think the couch sounds good, so long as you're there too."
"Wouldn't have it any other way," said Sam as she snuggled up next to Jack, his arm around her shoulder and her head on his chest. She yawned, "Good night Jack,"
"Good night Sam," said Jack, leaning his head on hers, "Sweet Dreams".