Disclaimer: Yeah, except for the OCs, still all Tolkien's world.
Chapter Seventeen: What We Think We Feel
Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge.
-Audre Lorde
The morning dawned bright, softly guiding Morwen out of her sleep. She looked up, the ceiling one of the healing rooms and not the ceiling of Elladan's room as she expected. She lifted herself up, tilting her had to the side and giving her bedside guest an inquisitive look.
"I see you do not remember the last few hours." Lord Elrond said.
"I remember drowning Elladan in tears." She said.
Elrond smiled, "You did, the first time around. The second you woke-up screaming and then became quite still. That is when I moved you down here. The twins are camped outside the door. They even pitched a tent."
"Please tell me they did not."
"Seeing as how they have both been pulled off patrol duty as long as the party from Greenwood the Great is in attendance, they felt it was not proper to neglect their gear. I must admit, I blame Glorfindel for this."
"Why not blame him for all of this?" Morwen muttered.
"Morwen." Elrond admonished.
"Sorry, right. Do not blame certain Elda's for having their head so far up their……."
"Morwen." Elrond admonished again, "Now is not the time to take out your frustrations on Glorfindel. At least wait until he is in the room and Erestor is also present, for he has been waiting a long time to see such a thing."
Morwen narrowed her eyes, "He made a wager, did he not?"
"No." Elrond said as he nodded in the affirmative.
"And who is the other party? Elladan? Lindir? Elrohir? Thandrog?" As all these proved wrong Morwen paused, thinking over the members of the household. "Lady Celebrian?"
"Morwen, I assure you, my wife would never do such a thing as wager on a person's affections." Elrond said as he again nodded in the affirmative, assuring Morwen that she was, indeed, correct.
"I should have known." She laughed. Her eyes dropped to the blanket covering her, her fingers traced the healing symbols on the cloth. "Are they always like that? The dreams, the visions…are they like that for you?"
Elrond brought himself closer, sitting on the bed, his hands covering her own, pressing her palm down into the center of a star.
"The vision or dream and its effects differ in many ways, from the simple as in who was the sender of the vision and who received it, to the complexities of what the vision contained. You did not see a vision of the future, or of a current event, but you saw the past, and the past from a participant's perspective but from one who observed. And that more than anything tells us the purpose of the vision." Elrond said.
"And that is?" she asked.
"To learn, my child. To learn of things which are rarely spoken of in their true brutality. To understand why a person may have the fears they have and why the, pardon the pun in regards to the situation, walls surrounding them are so high and hard to penetrate. And to choose, to decide if he is worth it all. Morwen, are you sure you are strong enough to do this? To fully accept this? Glorfindel will not do anything to ease the way, he is most likely to withdraw more. If anything is to be done…."
"I must set it in action. If I have a choice, why was I given the vision in the first place?" She asked.
"I do not presume to know all the motivations behind the actions of those more powerful than I, however, I feel they showed you such a terrifying and brutal event to let you know what has come before, what may come in the future, and to let you decide if you are able to do this." Elrond said.
"I would say you and the Valar should know my love for him is true since it has been so long, but I guess three hundred and fifty years is not so long in the grand scheme of things."
"Hardly a blink of an eye for an elf. You are only three hundred and fifty-eight years old, Morwen, many things can change in that time, and while many things will change, do you think your feelings for Glorfindel will?"
Morwen glanced down at their hands, feeling the power radiating from the center of the cloth star, she was quiet for some time as she pondered her answer.
"I…I do not think my feelings will change. I…I simply feel it is right, Elrond, as if I know, as if I have always known. But I do not presume to know the heart of the other and I do not know if what he feels is anything but doting on me and if he ever could see me as anything but a child he helped raise."
Elrond gently raised her chin up, "It is an interesting and difficult situation, I admit, Glorfindel having watched you grow from a child to an adult. He was there to heal your skinned knees and tell you tales before bedtime, he was there to teach you your first archery lesson…"
They both stopped to laugh, Morwen's first and nearly her last, archery lesson was most disastrous. Glorfindel had been insistent she take a few more lessons just to see if it was Beginner's folly.
"….and he was there to teach you some lore and hand you over to Erestor when he realized books were better for your hands than bows. He was there at your majority, standing as your witness and making sure no overzealous young male made you uncomfortable at your first grown ball. Your love for him is as natural as the act of breathing, yes?" Elrond asked.
Morwen nodded, "I…I have tried to let him go, knowing how he so obviously has feelings for Merileth and…..Elrond?" Morwen asked as her foster-father braced himself on the bed, his body shaking with laughter.
"I, I am sorry, Morwen," Elrond wiped away a tear, "but the day Glorfindel courts Merileth is the day I hand over the Chief Councilor position to Crabanon. Not only would Thranduil threaten to castrate Glorfindel, with his wife's blessing may I add, but Glorfindel himself would probably wonder where his sanity went. You see, Glorfindel is like a father to Merileth. He was chosen by Thranduil back in the Second Age to be Merileth's soul-father. Glorfindel and Laeriel are from the same family line, you see, and Thranduil, well, he wanted a noted soul-father for his daughter and who better than a re-born Elda? What could ever make you think there was more between them?"
"But..but..they were in the garden, walking and he gave her that necklace and…" Morwen trailed off.
"You honestly thought Thranduil would let his daughter roam the gardens at night, alone? As for the necklace, I fear that is a very late begetting present. Very late. Oh, my little Morwen, I fear your powers of deduction have failed you this time. There is nothing more there than familial affection, though they do often purposely mislead others in order to be left alone." Elrond patted her face in a loving gesture.
Morwen shook her head, "I guess I should tell Tirnion that. I must seek him out once I feel better. And I have to make at least one appearance where that……..elf Saeros sees me, we do not need him just finding another reason to spread false talk. Where is Tirnion? I was supposed to meet him this morning for a walk."
"Oh, Glorfindel took him out on a ride around the realm, Tirnion had been asking to see it and since the twins are currently preoccupied with guarding the doorway and playing with Ink Blot…"
"Ink Blot?"
"Yes, they named the cat. Do not ask me why, I beg of you. Glorfindel took the twin's place."
"So, Glorfindel has taken Tirnion out to parts unknown and they have no other companions?"
"Yes. Is there a problem?" Elrond asked.
"Only the fact Glorfindel practically marked Morwen as his territory the last time the three of them were assembled." Elladan said from the doorway, Ink Blot meowing his agreement from his place in Elrohir's arms.
"Oh, well, perhaps I should send someone out to them." Elrond said.
"Why bother?" Elladan asked as he flopped down on the end of Morwen's bed, "they are too far away now and only Valar knows where. No, I say just prepare the bandages and sit back and enjoy the fun as a diplomatic war brews."
"Elladan," Elrohir said, "stop trying to make the vein in father's forehead protrude. I am sure Tirnion and Glorfindel are having a nice, civilized ride."
Ink Blot gave his own answer to Elrohir's statement as he turned his back on all and started bathing himself.
Tirnion was sitting astride his horse admiring the river valley. His companion was quiet, obviously not in the mood for small talk. Tirnion did not mind, it allowed him to appreciate what he was seeing all the more.
"You did not ask about Morwen, why she was not present this morning." Glorfindel said in a quiet, yet intense, tone.
Shocked by the sudden sound of Glorfindel's voice, it took Tirnion a moment to respond.
"Elladan told me she was sick, I assumed if I was to know more about the circumstances I would have been told. I do not presume to call myself a close confidant to her, though I hope to be one day. She is a very interesting being." He said.
"Interesting, is she? She is a very young but respected councilor in training who is in close confidence not only to the leaders of this realm but of the Havens as well. She is well-read and quite cunning. She is loyal to her friends and has a strength of character I have seen in few and yet you merely find her interesting?" Glorfindel asked.
Tirnion reigned in his horse in front of Glorfindel, "Glorfindel, have I offended you in some way? This is the second time you have been quite mocking and sharp with me. And yes, having spoken to Morwen I am aware there are many parts of her personality and character but I do not yet know the whole. It is not a crime to be 'interesting' Glorfindel, I would say it is a compliment. Now, do you treat all elves new to your realm like this or just those who dare to speak with Morwen?"
Glorfindel gave Tirnion a bored look, "You are a good soldier, and you would have to be for Thranduil to trust you with his only daughter. I commend you for your aid in the situation between Rian and Saeros and compliment your willingness to aid us with our polices towards Saeros. However, if you ever.."
"If I ever what, Glorfindel? Hurt her? You do not need to worry about me, you do a fine enough job for both of us. Furthermore, my heart already belongs to someone else and you are also particularly close to her. Are you going to ask me not to hurt her as well? You presume much, Lord Glorfindel, not only of my own feelings but of Morwen's. The least you can do is give her the respect to make her own thoughts and feelings known. If she truly wished to pursue me, in the name of her own happiness, would you stop her? Or me?"
The look Glorfindel gave Tirnion in that moment would have caused a lesser elf to quake but Tirnion had not survived life as a son without a living father among elves such as Saeros without developing a very thick skin.
"I would never stand in the way of Morwen's happiness, or Merileth's. I merely have concern over whatever pain they might experience."
"If you had such concern over Morwen feelings, in the very least you would not flaunt your relationship with Merileth under her nose." Tirnion stated.
"I am sorry Morwen is, apparently, jealous over my relationship with my soul-daughter, though I have known her for many more years and she is part of blood through her mother's side."
Tirnion, quite shocked, was not aware his jaw had slightly dropped.
Glorfindel gave him an amused, if but a tad bitter, smile, "You mean you did not know? Ah yes, elves as young as you are probably not aware of the entwining of the royal families."
Glorfindel held back his laughter at the whole situation, his good humor a little restored, "Let us return to Imladris, Tirnion, I wish to see if Erestor is ready to discuss all of our reports from the meeting yesterday. Morwen turned in her notes before she became….sick…so her presence will not be needed. Perhaps you can see your…close friend before we meet in the Chief Councilor's office."
Erestor looked over the crowd gathered in his office, privately pondering the logistics of how they all fit inside. Lindir was near the window, absently twirling a flute with his fingers. Elladan was talking to Rian about some traveling minstrel who was supposed to stop by for the Mid-Winter festival which, due to recent events, was going to have to plan itself. Elrohir was speaking with Thalion and Legolas about his best archery matches. Glorfindel and Merileth were off in one corner, speaking lowly to each other. Tirnion stood to Erestor's side, similarly surveying the crowd.
Upon seeing Erestor's look he smiled, "Quite a group we have gathered. I suggest you start soon, I do not think it would be wise to keep so many personalities locked in one room."
"You do have a……" Erestor stopped as his door opened, a pale Morwen walking in, the recently dubbed Ink Blot in her arms.
"I apologize for my tardiness, I fear I am not moving at my normal pace today." Elrohir stood up, guiding her to the seat he formerly occupied.
"I thought you were still resting." Erestor said.
"Lord Elrond did not see a reason to keep me confined seeing as how most of my tasks allow me to sit at a desk and use my mental capacities over anything physical. I am well enough to sit here and listen and speak Erestor, I assure you."
Elladan supported her statement, "Father did say she would be well enough to attend any meetings today, as long as she was able to sit down."
"Yes, I am sorry we forgot to tell you, Erestor." Elrohir said.
Erestor waved off the apologies, "As she is already here and probably wasted what energy she had to get here, I will certainly not send Morwen back. Now, let us begin. Observations from the tree, Elrohir?"
"There was not much to see. However, Saeros and Bellion often passed looks between each other, I noticed some hand signals between them as well."
"As did I," Lindir stated, "though I did not see any action taken."
"Most likely because Glorfindel was attempting to glare Saeros into non-existence." Legolas's youthful voice stated. All within the room, including Glorfindel, could not help but laugh.
"At least that part of the plan worked." Elladan murmured.
"How about our occupants from the Healing Rooms? Did you three hear anything?" Erestor asked.
"I, for one, know more than I ever wanted to about how nice Thranduil's second son looks in his patrol uniform." Thalion stated, as Morwen and Rian shared a small laugh.
"There was little talk of importance." Rian concurred.
"That was most likely their own plan," Morwen said, "as much as I dislike Saeros and Bellion and all those in their camp, they are not fools. While they could not see us, and may not know who we are or where we where, they have to know eyes are watching and ears are listening."
"What do you suggest we do, Morwen?" Erestor asked, silently waiting to see his long-time pupil's answer.
"I..I do not know. A secret patrol? If they would speak freely it would be during a ride far out where no one could see them or within the guest chambers where they might feel safe behind closed doors…." she trailed off.
"We do still have members of the household staff who served as informants during the Last Alliance," Glorfindel said, "they now how to listen without appearing obvious and have been trained well in the art of detecting spoken codes and Elrond has kept their training up for situations such as this. While I will not reveal their names in order to protect them, I can still call on them if it is needed."
"I do not know if I want to risk such an action just yet. The patrol, perhaps." Erestor said. "Elladan, did you notice anything unusual from your spot on the council?"
"There was a young councilor who refused to meet my eyes, I do not know if it was out of fear or deference or something wholly different."
"Did you happen to catch his name?" Tirnion asked.
"I did not, but he was three seats down from Bellion on the right."
Erestor pulled the final seating chart from his stack of notes, "That would be Maergeredir, what do you know of him?"
"From all I know he has lived up to his name's meaning, he only keeps his mind to doing things which are good." Merileth said.
"He is the son of a craftsmen, not particularly common in our realm." Legolas stated.
"Tirnion?" Erestor asked
"As far as I know Maergeredir would defer to Elladan because he is someone much more powerful. He is a kind and sweet elf, easily manipulated. If he has a hand in Saeros's plots I would say it is against his will. I can try to speak with him, he has also never been to this realm. I am sure I can find some plausible reason to speak with him, gain his confidence."
"That would be best, he must know you hold more actual power than Saeros, and you have the backing of soldiers." Erestor said.
"Saeros has the court, Erestor, you must remember that. The people are powerful." Tirnion answered.
"You also have the backing of the royal family," Merileth spoke softly, "Legolas, Tholinnas and I will support you and I know father trusts his army more than he trusts his court."
"Are we decided then?" Glorfindel asked. "Secret patrols to hide in the vale, alerted when either Saeros or Bellion rides out and Tirnion is to gain the confidence of a possible pawn, that is our current plan?"
Erestor nodded, "Until I feel confident we have enough to bring to Elrond and Thranduil I fear it must be our plan of action. I urge you all to be alert and cautious in what you say and around who you say such things. While I welcome you here, Merileth, Legolas, and Tirnion, I must confess I will rest much better when you are gone."
"That makes two of us." Tirnion said.
"Then you all are free to go, except Morwen. I would like to speak with you, Morwen, if you are able."
"Of course." Morwen answered.
All vacated their various positions, Elrohir and Glorfindel lingering behind.
"I will wait outside to guide you back to your chambers, Morwen." Elrohir said, "I fear my twin has agreed to be Rian's beast of burden today at the market-place."
Morwen gave him an understanding nod as Elrohir left the room.
Glorfindel opened his mouth to say something but closed it and shaking his head he quickly walked out of the room, Morwen and Erestor's confused gazes following him.
"I swear, his senses really have left him. It is anyone's guess what goes through his head." Erestor said.
"Oh, he has probably just had a horrible confrontation with his own memories and feelings." Morwen said, "What do you need to speak with me about?"
"The Mid-Winter festival. Have you been able to achieve anything? I fear it is fast approaching."
"Minstrels have been secured and rooms are currently being prepared to host the Wandering Party. The food orders have been placed and our due to come in next week. Extra hands are currently being interviewed for the positions in the kitchen and the laundry. Rian took over half my tasks in the planning ever since she was warned against the Green Wood councilors. I dare say Faeleth has gotten far in the décor arrangements."
"Yes, well, she apparently enjoys things involving patterns and colors and lambs and chicks, who knew?"
Morwen smiled, "Yes, your child will have a colorful room. Is there anything else? I do not want to keep Elrohir waiting."
"How are you? I heard there was another dream."
She nodded, "After the first, the second was not as traumatic, though my reaction would not tell you such a thing. I remember it now."
"And?"
"I am not yet ready to speak of it, please give me sometime."
"Of course. Now, go entertain Elrohir and take….Ink Blot with you."
"I know," Morwen said, " it is a horrible name. I now know why you never let the twins name the horses."
"You can only imagine." Erestor sighed.
A/N 1: The twins were born in TA 130, I am making Morwen's birth year as TA 132, meaning that at the time this chapter (and mini-arc) is set in TA 490, the twins are 360 and Morwen 358, past their majority (going with the 'fanon' majority is at 150 or 100..or something less than 500) but not very old. ( For those wondering, Arwen is 249 and Elrond is aprox. 3,989 and no, I have no life.)
A/N 2: Again, thanks for the reviews and once this little mini-arc ends, well, events of the Third Age will start to take their toll.