Disclaimer: Still not all mine. No profit is made off us this.
Chapter Nineteen: Of Telling Stories and…
There is fiction in the space between
You and everybody
Give us all what we need
Give us one more sad sordid story
But in the fiction of the space between
Sometimes a lie is the best thing
Sometimes a lie is the best thing
-Tracy Chapman, Telling Stories
She smelled smoke and melting wax.
Morwen came out of her rest, her eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room. The ceiling was the familiar beams of her own bedroom, though she wondered how this was, seeing as her last memory was a warm fire, a small chair and a rambling woman.
She lifted herself up, turning her head to the side as she watched Glorfindel light the candelabra near her door.
"You are awake." He said.
"Am I? Seeing as how you've spent the past day avoiding any opportunity to be alone with me, as far as I know this is either a dream or a nightmare." She said.
Glorfindel laughed softly, shaking his head, "I suppose if that was the only critique you have of my behavior, I should count myself fortunate."
"I never said I was done. Give me a few more days to regain my strength and I assure you, you will then know all of my critiques."
Glorfindel gave her an impish look, "I must watch my back then, for I do not wish to fall victim to your sharp tongue."
"Perhaps if you stopped creating situations which require me to use it, you would not have a such fear." Morwen remarked.
Her eyes tracked Glorfindel as he walked over to her dresser, his hands lingering over the wooden figurines he had often crafted for her.
"You are missing a few of these, I do so believe." Glorfindel said.
She narrowed her eyes at him, "You are avoiding the question."
He glanced at her over his shoulder, "You did not ask a question, you made a statement."
Morwen held back her annoyance, "Fine then, you are avoiding the statement."
"And now you are avoiding the question." Glorfindel said.
"I am not avoiding it, you of all people should know," Morwen gestured to the group of figurines, "how many of those there are. I could not fit them all on the dresser."
"Then perhaps I should stop making them for you."
Morwen bit her lips, refusing to give into either the anger or despair or hurt that statement caused, "If that is your choice, then I guess I must be satisfied with it."
Glorfindel turned to her, leaning back against her dresser, "Most maidens in your situation would protest and then insist they loved all the figurines or other gifts of mine, falling over themselves to please me."
"Glorfindel, not to be a paragon of arrogance or elitism, but if you have yet to figure out that I am not like most…..she-elves you have known then I worry about your powers of deduction."
"You never have been, you know." He said, "Normal, that is. Even Rian cares more for dresses and ribbons, trappings of what it means to be a she-elf."
"I enjoy looking put together as much as the next she-elf, but I do not value dresses or ribbons because they are frivolous things that cannot stand the test of our lifespan. They are things easily forgotten, ruined, and replaced. You are very careless to assume all she-elves are twittering fools."
Glorfindel raised an eyebrow, "I never said they were twittering fools. I merely passed observation about your own uniqueness."
"I am sure, behind closed doors and where they can be their true selves they are all unique."
"All elves have a uniqueness about them, Morwen."
"Glorfindel, I have just woken up, is there a point to all these seemingly circular conversations or are you trying to push me into insanity?"
"I am merely making conversation, I did not realize it would be such an offense."
Morwen shook her head at him, "You are being insulting and condescending."
Glorfindel leaned towards her, "Perhaps there is a reason."
"Perhaps you will tell me." She said through clenched teeth.
"Perhaps I am angry with you." Glorfindel let his words ring out.
"What reason would you have to be angry with me?" Morwen asked.
"For the apparent lack of sense you have experienced with the coming of the winter. You let yourself go off with some stranger, you fell asleep somewhere outside of the House with no guards, you could have been hurt, you could have been…."
"I wasn't. I wasn't hurt. I was not with a stranger, I was with a trusted warrior. I was sleeping in a public area of a shopkeeper who is a trusted vendor to this House and who, may I mention, is a relative friend of yours. Stop treating me like an elfling."
"Then stop acting like one!" He yelled.
"Glorfindel!"
Morwen and Glorfindel turned to see Elrond in the door way, Elladan and Elrohir behind him, all with looks of concern on their faces.
"Glorfindel," Elrond started again in a much calmer tone, "King Thranduil wishes to go on a ride through the realm. The snow has stopped falling so it will be safe, go wash and change and get a guard ready, take Elladan and Elrohir with you."
Glorfindel stared silently at Elrond for a moment, then nodded and headed for the door without bidding farewell to Morwen.
The twins shared a look between each other and then slowly followed behind him. Morwen watched them go, almost sad she could not be with them.
Elrond came into her bedroom, closing the door behind him. He walked over to the small window and pulled back the curtain, letting the soft light bathe the room, contrasting with the light from the candle.
"You did not have to intervene." Morwen said.
Elrond gave a deep sigh and walked over to her, "I fear I did, before both of you said things you would always regret and never forgive."
Morwen sat outside in one of the gardens, in a chair protected by the snow due to its strategic position under an awning. Her mind wandered back to the earlier moments in her day as she tried to determine what had set her on edge.
Lord Elrond had given her a clean bill of health, telling her the night of peaceful rest had done her well. And yet, there was still an uneasiness in her. She was physically well, her mind was back to normal, but something was off. Besides the fact once Glorfindel returned from escorting King Thranduil and his party around the realm, she had gotten into another verbal spar with him.
She did not understand where his sudden shortness with her had come from, all she knew was that it would be over soon, by his decree or by hers. He was acting like a child and Morwen, well, even she admitted she should start being the better elf and stop taking the bait.
Though she didn't think it was fair that she had to be the better elf. Since she was so young and inexperienced as Glorfindel so kindly pointed out to her during their second verbal match of the day.
Honestly, Mid-Winter was turning out to be such a joyous season.
"Morwen, may I speak with you?" The voice jolted Morwen from her chair, her quick reflexes saved her from taking a tumble into the snow.
"Merileth, I am sorry, I did not hear you…"
"You were lost in thought, I am not insulted. Having witnessed that spat between you and Glorfindel today, I would hope you would be contemplating on things."
"Are you here to tell me I should give up?"
"I am here, Morwen, to tell you to never let go."
Morwen, surprised, looked up into Merileth's ageless golden face.
"Do not be so shocked, Morwen. I have always been a champion for your cause, despite what you may think of me. Glorfindel is dear to me and I want him to be happy…..and with you, there is no need for artifice. He does not have to be a legend."
"He never was." Morwen laughed, "One does not associate the word 'legend' with the elf who was Elladan's favorite 'horsey' until he was deemed still enough to ride a pony. He has always been a little over exuberant."
Merileth smiled as her eyes focused on something in the horizon, "The happiest letters I ever received from him were when you were children. It was good for him, to watch so many children grow under his care, to have them know him as a normal elf, not someone from mostly forgotten lore."
"I fear that in my case, that has not turned out so well."
"Do you honestly believe that?" Merileth asked. "Morwen, he all but threatens Tirnion if he has been in your presence for too long or is sitting too close to you……and yet, he is not doing the same to Elladan over Rian or any other female in this realm."
"Save you, his soul-daughter." Morwen said.
Merileth glanced down, "He has his reasons for that."
"Why do you not let Tirnion…"
"He is too young. He is too young and too kind and too pure. Life in the court, that would ruin him. And I…I'd rather have him whole." Merileth said.
"If by whole you mean silently suffering and never saying an ill word against you." Morwen could not help but remark.
"He is still Tirnion. And Morwen, I have tried everything to get him to turn elsewhere, you must believe that I want him to be happy. I was even engaged for sometime in order to convince Tirnion there would be no chance between us….and he never gave up, he has always been there and I would be a liar if I said I did not pull strength from that."
Morwen looked at her own hands, deciding she should tell Merileth the truth, "He thinks you do not care for him at all, at least not anymore."
Merileth looked up at her, shock on her own face, "He has never said…"
"And he never will. You have his heart, no one else does nor will they ever."
"There must be something I can do, some way I can force him…." Merileth said.
"Merileth, you do not have control over the choices of his heart. The least you could do is let him know he is a dear friend to you. That should sustain him for another few centuries."
Morwen glanced at the bracelet Merileth wore on her right wrist, surprised it was not made of roses but rather a breathtaking combination of leaves and half moons and suns with blue jewels in the middle.
"That is a very lovely bracelet, Merileth. I assume Tirnion gave it to you?"
Merileth looked down, her left hand lightly caressing the links, "Yes, for Mid-Winter a few years ago. I was…..everyone else gives me roses, he rarely does. I once mentioned how much I loved the play of the moonlight and the sunlight through the leaves. A year or so later, he gave me this."
"And the blue?" Morwen asked.
"My favorite color. Everyone assumes it is.."
"Red like the most common rose." Morwen finished.
"Or green like the leaves." Merileth said.
Morwen was quiet for some time as she debated on how to phrase her next argument.
"Ask yourself, Merileth," she said, "if any other could care so much about you. You. Not your title, or your beauty or your family. When all that is stripped away and nothing is left but who you really are, ask yourself if any other elf on Arda would want you or could even love you to the degree Tirnion does."
Merileth looked up at her, tears clouding her eyes and smiled,
"You will make one formidable councilor. You notice much and use that knowledge well."
Morwen shrugged the compliment off, "I have been trained well. Erestor misses nothing, as you may have guessed, even now when he is distracted with more important matters. Now, let us get you inside before someone sees you in such a distraught state. Valar knows Saeros would jump at the chance to paint me a villain."
She held out a hand to Merileth and they both walked inside, never noticing the bright eyes that had watched them from above.
Glorfindel walked into his office, closing the door as he felt all his years weigh on his shoulders.
He closed his eyes and willed his headache away.
It would be better his way. It had to be. This was the way, the only way.
She would hate him after this.
This was the only way.
He made his way over to the desk, his fingers tracing the knot work she was so enraptured with. He doubted she would be darkening his door much anymore. He followed the lines of the desk. Few knew the convoluted lines lead into a flower similar to what had been on his helm in Gondolin.
He moved some of the paperwork from the center of the desk, pressing his palm down into the center of the flower, willing some sort of stability from it.
His eyes drifted over to the small silver box Morwen had given him when she was but 40 years. Her first project when Elrond had decided the children needed to learn the occupations of all those in the house, to learn respect for those who worked with their hands and what they did. It was supposed to be a keepsake box, but had turned out far too big for such a job.
And yet to Glorfindel would not have it any other way.
He walked over to it and lifted the lid. He reached inside, his hands tracing over a wooden box containing jewelry he no longer had use for, not after today's events. His fingers drifted over the various sketches Elrohir had drawn over the years, the poems Rian had tried to compose, the copies of Elladan's beautiful handwriting, the first letters Morwen sent on her visits outside of the realm, full of her nervousness and her happiness. Her fear and her eagerness. Tear-stained from homesickness and smelling like sunlight and sea.
Sadly he closed the box and went to sit down at his desk. There was work to be done.
Glorfindel looked up as an enraged silver-haired elf stormed into his office, truly not surprised to see him, though Glorfindel admitted he had been expecting someone with darker hair to storm in on him first.
"What was that?" Tirnion demanded.
"I believe that was me asking to take a young woman of the realm to the Mid-Winter banquet and dance."
"Yes, it was, a young woman who just happens to be one of Morwen's largest critics and is on line with Saeros for being one of the least tolerant elves in all of Arda, perhaps Aman as well."
"Now, Tirnion, I have been in Aman and I would not say…"
"That is not the point! You are doing this on purpose for whatever misbegotten reason you have got in your head that this is the right thing to do. What is wrong with you Glorfindel? You have the love and devotion of one of the most worthy beings on this earth, how is that not enough for you?"
"Perhaps I do not feel inclined to her."
"Perhaps you are a spineless excuse for an elf. Why are you doing this?" Tirnion asked, trying his best to understand.
"Why do you care, Tirnion? If you claim to be only a friend, why do you care?"
"Because, Glorfindel, I have lived through it. Seeing the person you love, and you know at least one time cared for you, court another being is akin to slitting your own wrists and asking for Mandos to pay you a visit."
"Then perhaps you both should learn to move on." Glorfindel stated.
"Perhaps you should learn to trust us Glorfindel. We know what is best for us. It is our choice." Tirnion said.
Glorfindel shook his head, "It is not her choice, she was forced into this from birth."
Tirnion looked at him, disbelief in his face, "And now you are forcing her out? How is that better? How does that make it any easier for her?"
"I am letting her go, to live freely. To find some elf that will make her happy and this way, I can have no claim on her. I am letting her go, Tirnion."
"Are you, are you really? Can you sit there and honestly tell me that when she introduces you to whatever elf she forces herself into at least tolerating that you will not treat him just as you have treated me, if not worse?"
Glorfindel was silent.
Tirnion shook his head, "I do not understand you. You are known as honorable and brave, have died defending the line Lord Elrond descends from and were brought back to defend it once again. You have faced death countless times and still have not backed down and yet one little she-elf forces you into cowardice."
"Everyone with half a mind knows it is far more difficult to risk the emotional than the physical. The physical heals much more quickly and easily."
"And you are not willing to take that risk, for you or for her?" Tirnion asked.
Glorfindel again remained silent.
"Let her go, Glorfindel, either let he go or do something about it. You claim to care for her, and want her happy, and want her safe. If that is true, if that is really what you want, let her go or give her what she wants, what you truly want. Because what you are doing right now, it is killing her, slowly but surely each little jab, each little insult. And Glorfindel, it is slowly killing you as well."
Tirnion stood up then and made his way towards the door.
Before he left he said, "I hope you do not make martyrs out of the both of you on the altars of stubbornness and supposed unrequited love. Forget what you think is proper, what you think would be best. Trust your instincts, Glorfindel."
With those words Tirnion left. And with those words, Glorfindel found it difficult to breathe in his study. Grabbing a cloak, he ran towards the stables.
Morwen breathed a sigh of relief as she sat at her familiar desk, taking comfort in the routine. So much had not been routine lately. It was as if with the frost of winter came the frost of Glorfindel, at least in regards to Morwen. She was almost too tired to deal with this and yet she knew this was a test she could not fail. No matter how much she would dearly love to see him slammed into a wall at the current moment, she had to endure. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, at least that's what she had always been told.
She also wondered why so many elves had been whispering whenever they saw her today, though when one is carried into the house by Glorfindel, asleep and his arms and the next is having a public argument with said elf, she should have known it would be a matter of gossip.
She had yet to understand why she was getting such sympathetic looks. She would have to further investigate that once she had finished some of her work.
She reached into the stack of papers pulling out the seating chart for the Mid-Winter banquet and dance, checking it over one last time to make sure everything was correct.
When she glanced at the seating chart for the royal table she saw something that made her blood run cold.
She could take the snide comments about her youth, the condescending tone he had adopted when speaking with her, but this, this was just cruel.
Taking a deep breath she called one of the pages over to her, "As far as you know, is this correct?"
"Yes, Morwen, Lord Glorfindel asked her to the banquet today in front of many. It was a shock to all of us, indeed. I was certain he would go alone as he always does when not here to escort Lady Arwen. I was most surprised since you and that lady have never gotten along."
"Indeed, we have not." Morwen attempted to keep the acid out of her tone but from the look of the page she had not been successful. "You must excuse me, I have something to finish elsewhere."
Morwen stood up and forced herself to walk sedately to Elrond's study, her head held high, her gait certain and steady.
Only her eyes showed the banked fury.
And under that, the pain.
"Where is he?"
Elrond, Erestor and the majority of two royal families looked up into the determined face of Morwen.
"Who, Morwen?" Elladan asked, truly confused.
"Elladan," Elrohir looked at his twin, "who is missing? Who is missing and sighed his own death warrant earlier today when he made that one action?"
"Oh, Glorfindel! I saw him ride out on Uilos as if demons were behind him. Though, seeing you now Morwen, I guess he was right to. Did he really…"
"He did." Morwen spat, her rein over her temper starting to loose.
Erestor stood up from the table and walked over to a wardrobe reaching in for something.
"Did you see what direction he went in Elladan?" Morwen asked.
"East, but Morwen, if you need to speak with him…"
"She needs to do it now." Erestor said. He handed her a heavy cloak, "in case it starts to snow again." Morwen nodded, murmuring a soft thank you and turned to hurry out to the stables.
"So," Thranduil asked "should we start planning Glorfindel's second burial now?"
A/N: As always, those who I am not able to e-mail my thanks to: thank you for the reviews.