Disclaimer: Mostly Tolkien's, only ocs are mine
Chapter 29: Remembrance
In times like these, it is helpful to remember that there have always been times like these.
- Paul Harvey
The true way to mourn the dead is to take care of the living who belong to them.
- Edmund Burke
Between Imladris and Mirkwood TA 2460
They had called it the Watchful Peace and never had a name been more apt for a time. Peace had existed throughout the lands and yet under it all, every race in Arda remained cautious.
Everyone knew it could not last, knew it was as simple as the calm before the storm, knew something was building.
Glorfindel never thought the storm would break like this, the peace destroyed in this way.
Tholinnas, Thranduil's middle son, the archer but not warrior, was being seen to by a team of healers in hope he would not yet pass.
The pass in the mountains was cluttered with the bodies of elves from Mirkwood and Imladris and orcs from whatever hell had spewed them forth.
He had already passed by the lifeless bodies of Congweth and Cannith, who had just been sent on his first mission to Mirkwood. He had not even made it through the mountains. More of Glorfindel's warriors dotted the pass, many more being carried back to the nearest safe point to be treated. Thranduil's people were doing the same for their own.
Glorfindel lifted his head as Elladan and Elrohir came riding up with Morwen behind them.
She would be taking the names of the dead and would bring them back to Imladris, would put their names up on the Wall of Remembrance.
Glorfindel walked over to her, "Morwen, Cannith…"
"I know." She said, no emotion in her voice. She made her way over to where Cannith lay, calmly removing the personal items from his body. Writing his name down on her tablet even as tears started to fall from her eyes.
"She was the one who approved Cannith's leave. He begged her to do so, to choose him over Eluialeth to be sent. Morwen decided to give in because he had never seen Mirkwood." Elladan said.
"She has been deadly calm since she heard the news." Elrohir said.
Glorfindel nodded in understanding, "It is the first time one of hers has died. It is different when one is not under your command. Elrohir, please go assist the Mirkwood healers. Elladan…."
"I will take up the watch from Balanauth." He said.
The twins went to perform their tasks as Glorfindel continued to study what had become a battlefield.
Tirnion came up to Glorfindel, "I have lost 10 on my side, 23 are wounded, 7 of those are dire."
Glorfindel nodded, "8 gone on our side, 28 wounded, 10 dire."
Tirnion laughed humorlessly, "At least more orcs dot the ground than elves."
"The one good thing we have." Glorfindel agreed.
"Do we know where they came from?" Tirnion asked.
"Not yet, they must have built a stronghold somewhere in the mountains."
"There is Moria." Tirnion pointed out.
"That could be likely but…I am not sure. Our scouts have not seen anything."
"We've been lax. Took the peace for granted." Tirnion said.
Glorfindel shook his head, "And this is the price we must pay."
Tirnion nodded, giving Glorfindel's arm a pat, "I will give the name of our dead to Morwen."
"I will put them up on the wall myself. I am sorry for the loss of your soldiers, Tirnion." Glorfindel said.
"Same to you, Glorfindel. Just….pray Tholinnas will pull through." Tirnion said.
"I assure you, our healers will do everything in our power for now, Elrohir is on loan to you."
Glorfindel watched Tirnion walk over to his own people.
Glorfindel bowed his head and said a prayer for the dead and dying.
He turned to those still able warriors.
"Start securing the bodies of those Morwen has already seen to, they need to be brought home for their final resting. Help the elves of Mirkwood secure their own. After you are done with that, check on your fellow warriors, help the healers if they need it, then go home and be thankful you will see another morn. Stay on alert throughout it all."
His warriors, old and young, male and female, gave him a nod and went to perform their tasks.
Imladris, TA 2460
Morwen chiseled Cannith's name into the wall, her hands only shaking with a slight tremor. The mourning drapery, so rarely used they were at first hard to locate, cloaked the House of Elrond. Thalion had returned from the Havens, his wife and two young children with him, to say one last goodbye to all of his old friends.
Erestor looked just a little older, Elrond a little tired, Glorfindel simply more resigned.
Celebrian's planned trip to LothLorien had been cancelled and the Lady had offered no protest.
Tholinnas lay recovering in the healing halls, though it would be long before he would be able to travel.
The constant chants of loss in the air were starting to grate on Morwen's nerves. As sad as she was over the elves who had died, they would have preferred a celebration. Cannith most of all would be dismayed his end had caused despair to come to others and work to be backed up.
Morwen did not know when her laughter had mixed with her tears but she did know she felt most secure in the arms around her waist. She turned into the embrace, even if it was not the normal arms she sought comfort in during times like these. She breathed in the scent not of Elladan and Elrohir, but of Glorfindel.
"It is a strange feeling, is it not?" Glorfindel asked as he pulled her down into a sitting position.
"What?" Morwen asked.
"To laugh and cry at once." He said.
"Yes, it is." Morwen pulled away, "I am sorry for getting the wall dust on your tunic. I am afraid white appears quite clear on black."
"It will wash off." Glorfindel said.
Morwen nodded, "I feel as if I sent him.."
"You did not." Glorfindel said.
Morwen shook her head "No, I.."
Glorfindel gripped her face between his hands, "You did not. Cannith's death rests on the shoulders of that nameless Evil. Or rather, Mandos may have been in need of a most eager to please scribe."
"Oh, yes, I am certain Mandos is really in need of a scribe, like the Halls of Mandos run like our world." Morwen let out a dark laugh.
"It is not so different." Glorfindel said.
Morwen looked up at him, her eyes widening, "Oh, Glorfindel, forgive me I did…"
He pressed a hand to her mouth, "Do not. You have never treated me different because of my experiences in my lives, do not begin now."
Morwen nodded, "Have you not ever felt guilty for….."
Glorfindel sat back, pressing himself against one of the memorial walls, "Morwen, survivor's guilt is one of those universal things. While I feel each death of warriors and any elf of this realm as a blow, I know it was not my hand that dealt their fate. Earnur was different, I did not train him to defend himself until the last. I did not beat the arrogance out of him like I have my warriors. I know I trained my elves to fight until the last and that if they have passed from this world, either an orc got lucky or Mandos's will was done. If I felt guilt for each death I would never feel nothing but guilt."
Glorfindel was silent as he stared out into the night sky.
He continued, "Perhaps it is different for me, having seen what I have seen. I have lived what they will live. I know there is life after afterlife. There is a peace there, after you have atoned for the wrongful actions in this cycle, after the spirit has been cleansed. The worse thing Cannith has done, probably, is broken a quill and not told anyone. I am sure you will see him again, Morwen, whenever you sail."
Morwen nodded, "Thank you. I needed to hear that. For once I am slightly awed by your tales."
"Well, since I am the only authority you know on such a thing, I will excuse your awe this time."
Morwen smiled and traced Cannith's name on the wall. She stared at the letters etched into the stone.
"Is that how you will comfort yourself if I die? That my soul will be cleansed and you will eventually see me again?"
Glorfindel moved across the floor, sitting behind her. He reached his own hand up to the wall to press against her own. "Morwen, if you are taken from me I fear I will not be far behind."
"Glorfindel…."
"Well, I have to make sure Ecthelion does not try to snag you. He was always attracted to she-elves like you, more proud to show off their wit than their smile."
Morwen rolled her eyes and laughed, "You are sometimes a very silly elf."
"Shh, do not tell anyone." Glorfindel said as he pulled Morwen back into him. "Better now?" he asked.
Morwen nodded.
"Good." Glorfindel said, "Erestor is looking for you. I fear you are being forced to be trained so as to work at our most secret council."
"Ahh, the one everyone on Arda knows of. Why must I go?"
"Trusted scribe for Imladris. It is agreed, on the review of your job performance and your reputation, you can trusted not to repeat what you have heard during the council."
"Oh goody, the Wise have decided I am competent. I shall do a jig of happiness as soon as you let me up." Morwen did not bother to hold back her sarcasm.
"I am much more happy keeping you where you are." Glorfindel said.
"We both know we cannot stay here. There are the rituals to be done before dawn." Morwen said.
Glorfindel agreed "Yes, but for now, let us linger."
It was a subdued crowd that watched from afar as the pyres holding up their dead elven kin were lit.
Chants filled the air, tangling up with the smoke.
The elves were lucky, their souls immortal, their bodies merely the container of an elven spirit.
They would see the fallen elves again.
Even that knowledge did not make it easier for the friends and family.
In the morning they would start their long preparations for a council, a not-so-secret one that would take place in Imladris sometime in the future. The council would decide what actions would be undertaken.
That was tomorrow.
Tonight they would grieve.
Rian turned from the wall, her fingers lingering on the new names. She spent more time in here than most, one of the few places she could feel connected to her past. While her family had never stood in these rooms, their names had been on these walls since Rian had come to live here.
She was not a mere infant like Morwen when Rian came to this place. She was a mere thirty when her family had been killed by a rogue band, not of orcs, but of humans who had never been on the side of the Free Peoples. She had been old enough to remember her family, remember the attacks, but too young to have done much but cower in fear.
She remembered her father placing her in a chest, telling her to stay put and not make a sound. She watched what they did to her family and all she could do was stay still and silent.
She still did not remember being found by Gildor Inglorion or the journey to the House of Elrond. She did remember upon her supposed awakening seeing three dark elflings and one blond elfling staring at her in curiosity.
Rian smiled at her first memories of her close family.
Elrohir had stood looking down on her curiously, checking the bandages that covered her hands. Thalion had watched her warily, as if fearful she would attack him. Elladan, scratches on his face and a bandage on his forehead, had been smiling at her, charming with his missing teeth, and had waved at her with one hand while the other held onto that of the dark-haired female elfling. She had stood their stoically, a live cat secure in her arms, her hair unruly and unbound. She had studied Rian and then gave a slight nod. She broke away from Elladan's hold and had walked over to Rian, holding at the cat, "Pet him." She had said, "It will make you feel better and you need to feel better now that you are with us. Lady Celebrian will probably be dragging you off to the market for dresses and bows but do not fear, despite that she is a nice elf."
The twins had giggled at the description of their mother as Thalion had looked both shocked and awed Morwen had said such a thing.
Rian still remembered the feel of Sídhadonnen's coat. Morwen's first and most beloved cat, given to her by Erestor for a begetting day.
As she grew in the House of Elrond she had first found herself attracted to Elrohir for he was much more calm than his twin. He was curious and knowledgeable and a healer at heart. His brother was childish and a jokester, hardly a thing to be admired.
Rian was to be proved wrong.
It took years, but Rian realized Elladan was genuine and compassionate. He enjoyed, like his brother, to bring happiness to people. Most importantly, Elladan always remembered to say farewell, no matter how angry he was and Rian think she loved and admired that most of all.
"Rian?" Elladan asked.
He was no longer missing teeth, and it was rare for a bandage to be on his head or scratches on his face. He had scars on his body and soul, blood on his hands as well. But he was more charming now than he had ever been and Rian knew he understood her more after what he had come to live and see.
She could not stand the sight of blood, it honestly sent her into a panic.
Elladan had promised her he would do his best so she would never have to see it shed again.
She had sworn she would never love a warrior, couldn't love someone like that.
Elladan had told her he was only partially a warrior, he was also a healer, a brother, a son, a friend, a scholar, a noble, a half-elf, a student, a teacher, and did not one of those aspects appeal to her?
He may have had blood stained hands and marks on his body and soul, but to Rian there was no elf more beautiful on Arda or Aman and no where safer than with him.
"Rian?" He asked again.
"Elladan, what is it?"
"You have been in here for some time. I was just making certain you were…."
"I am well. I was just remembering." Rian said.
"Were they good memories?" Elladan asked as he came to stand beside her.
"The best." Rian laughed, "Do you remember Sídhadonnen?"
"The hell demon? Yes, he took a liking to my face. It was his favorite scratching post."
"Is that why you have named every cat Morwen has had since a very derogatory name?" Rian asked.
"Possibly. To be fair Sídhadonnen only gave me what I deserve. I did torture the poor thing, but the hissing and the puffing fascinated me as an elfling and I wanted to know why he did such a thing." Elladan said.
Rian smiled, "He was the first live thing I remember touching when I came to. He was warm and purring, I could feel his heart beating and I knew then, I was alive."
Elladan laughed, "And then Thalion tripped over his own two feet causing Morwen to drop the cat and Elrohir to drop the candle and damn near set the place on fire as I started screaming and Glorfindel came in as if another balrog was after him."
Rian smiled as she placer her arm around Elladan's waist, "Yes, it was then I knew I would be okay."
"Baptism by fire?"
"More, if I survived the healing halls I could survive anything."
Elladan laughed and pulled Rian close for a soft kiss, "I am glad you decided to stay with us."
"I did not have much of a choice. Elrond and Morwen and Erestor glared me into acceptance."
Elladan laughed at the memory, "They do all have a certain charm."
"And a certain ability to raise a single eye brow in a most accusing way."
Elladan laughed, "That they do. Now, let us leave this place. I would rather live now than reminisce on what has been."
Rian nodded and walked with Elladan out of the room, though she did give one final glance back to the names on the walls.
Imladris, TA 2463
"I do not trust that one, Curunir, I think he would sacrifice anyone in order to have his own needs met." Rian said as she helped ready the meeting hall.
"Be that as it may," Morwen said from the other side of the room, only slightly annoyed her and Rian were being asked to do such mundane tasks because Curunir did not trust the elves who normally did such a job, "The rest of the Wise find him trustworthy enough."
"Yes, well, I happen to think the Wise need to open their eyes. Why are they calling this the first White Council, they have met before." Rian said.
"Because now they have seen fit to share with all of Arda that they are meeting in order to discuss our current state of affairs." Morwen explained.
"It is supposed to reassure the Free Peoples that a bunch of mysterious beings in robes and old cloaks who have all the time in the world are discussing the current event of Arda?" Rian asked.
Morwen looked and nodded her head, giving Rian the point she deserved. "I do not think, however, that is how they have spun it to the Steward of Gondor or any of the other Free Peoples."
"Yet the only non-Istari and non-elf present is the Chieftain of the Dunedain." Rian said.
"To be fair, he will live longer than most of the other Free Peoples." Morwen said.
"I am sure that was what Aragorn believed before the wolves ate him." Rian murmured.
Morwen winced, "I am certain that was not how he planned to go from this world."
The bell rang, signaling the participants of the council should make way to the hall. Rian sighed, "Well, I best take my untrustworthy self somewhere else."
Morwen smirked, "Yes, the spot Erestor told you to hide in so that you can observe the other members."
Rian laughed, "How angered are you, truly, that you have been temporarily demoted to a scribe?"
Morwen shook her head, "Oh, please, do not get me started on that. Our favorite Istari stares at me and makes me read back everything I have written down twice to ensure himself I have not missed a single word."
"Better you than me." Rian said as she made her way to her own designated spot.
Erestor watched as Elrond paced back and forth, wearing a tread in the carpet.
"Why would Mithrandir turn such a position down? He must know Galadriel hardly throws in her lot to just anybody." Elrond said.
"Curunir is the senior of the Istari, Mithrandir knows that. Curunir also has studied Sauron's ways most deeply." Erestor tried to explain.
"Because that is such a noble thing to be wise in." Elrond spat.
Erestor smiled, "You just hate the fact someone currently has more power in your realm than you do."
"Erestor, at this moment, quite a few people have more power in this realm than I do."
"Elrond, honestly, just because Curunir is the head of our so-called White Council it does not mean we cannot continue on with our own investigations. We have connections he never will and there are those who trust us that will never trust a wizard."
Elrond shook his head, "That is hardly the message of peaceful cooperation we should be striving to present."
Erestor gave him a knowing look, "Anyone can turn against another at any moment. It would be foolish to be completely open and honest with all. We should just throw down the barriers and say, 'please, come attack us. Here have a cake.' Suffice to say, I heavily council you against a total reveal of all we know."
Elrond smiled, "Of course you do. We had this same discussion many years ago."
"And that was probably the only reason Isildur never attempted to take over Imladris. He had little idea how we worked." Erestor said.
Elrond put his head in his hands, "I am starting to get a terrible bout of mental fatigue."
"It has been a difficult few years. You could go and prepare some sort of concoction for yourself, though that might violate some healer vow of yours."
Elrond laughed, "Where is Elrohir then? The last time I asked Celebrian to make something to take the pain away she turned a supposedly clear concoction pink."
Erestor laughed at the memory, "No, the healing arts are not Celebrian's strong suit. Elrohir is with Elladan, showing their grandfather how much their archery skills have improved since they were elflings. I am sure, if I try my hardest to remember, I can make you a concoction that will not poison you."
Elrond laughed, "Oh, how gracious you are Erestor. Let us be on our way then."
Glorfindel watched from the balcony of his rooms as Rian tried her best not to stutter in the face of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. It was one thing to be in a relationship with Elladan of Imladris, a wholly other thing to be in a relationship with Elladan, eldest son of Lord Elrond and Lady Celebrian.
"Is she blushing again?" Morwen asked as she came to stand beside Glorfindel.
Glorfindel turned, "Shouldn't you be writing the five copies of the notes you took, the ones Curunir insisted upon."
Morwen shrugged, "Erestor gave me a reprieve, for fear I would harm someone with my quill. If you must know, I only have one more copy left to write and Curunir will still be in residence for a week."
Glorfindel sighed, "Yes, sadly, he will. He is just so……"
"Entitled? Full of himself? I-am-so-very-wise-and-you-are-so-very-foolish?"
"Yes." Glorfindel said as he closed the doors to his balcony and walked back inside.
He held out a hand to Morwen which she took with a slight roll of her eyes.
"You are so subtle." Morwen mocked.
Glorfindel gave her a slightly chastising look, "For all you know," he said as he grabbed her hand and suddenly twirled her around, "I could have been asking you for a dance." He pulled her closer to himself.
"Which is just another, though more livelier and socially acceptable, form of a close embrace, really they are all the same at the root of the meaning." Morwen said.
Glorfindel sighed, "Semantics. That must be the price I pay for falling in love with a councilor."
Glorfindel's eyes widened at his words as did Morwen's. Such sentiments had never passed between them for a reason.
Morwen then laughed and shook her head. "You are lucky you just get semantics. I fell in love with a warrior who has a history of getting himself killed. Try dealing with that."
Glorfindel smiled as he rested his chin on top of her head, "What horrible fates we have."
"Indeed." Morwen agreed. "At least we are spared the humiliation of meeting each other's families."
"For now," Glorfindel snorted, "My father, if you are ever unfortunate enough to meet him, will demand to know your full family history before he even says 'well met.'"
"Then I am afraid he will be sorely disappointed since I know nothing of it; I would not even recognize my family if they were in front of me."
"Of course you would." Glorfindel said.
"Glorfindel, I was an infant when…"
"Lord Elrond is your father. Erestor is your uncle, and one day I will tell you how he is actually kin to you. Lady Celebrian is your mother figure. Arwen and Rian and Eluialeth, your sisters. Elladan, Elrohir, Thalion and dare I say it, Tirnion are your brothers. Galdor is your cousin, Thandrog is your cousin twice removed, forcibly, because of his unfortunate attachment to animals. Cannith is the younger cousin you have lost. When anyone asks you, that is your family." Glorfindel said.
"And you? What are you to me?" Morwen asked.
"To be honest and yet sounding so fatalistic about it, we are each other's fate." Glorfindel sighed, most dramatically.
"Oh how drab and typical we are." Morwen said.
"Ah, but we make one merry match." Glorfindel smiled.
Morwen smiled as she reveled in the feeling of Glorfindel and in the sound of Elladan, Elrohir and Rian outside.
This was their life, this was their family and their home. Their memories and their future and despite the darkening days, despite the uncertainty and the still lingering sense of mourning, Morwen could not ask for more.
A/N 1: The Aragorn mentioned is actually Aragorn I (though obviously not called that at the time because there was no Aragorn the II.) who was born in TA 2227 and died in TA 2327 and was, indeed, slain by wolves, Aragorn the II aka Elessar aka Strider aka Estel aka…you get my point wasn't born until TA 2931.
A/N 2: There are only about two more chapters to go…maybe one depending on how long I want to make it, but for both of our sakes I think it will be two. Don't worry, even though this story is ending there is more to come with all of the characters in the series as a whole.