Disclaimer: Huh, as if! Somewhere I wish I did, but I shall never own anything from the Potter universe.
A/N: A little later than anticipated due to the fact that I kept re-writing this chapter as bits did not sound right. This is by far the longest chapter I have ever writen...8 whole pages...I hope this version is much better and I would appreciate it if you would review! I shall not be able to update as frequently as I have done these past couple of weeks because of coursework deadlines etc so they shall have my complete attention from now till may. But I shall try to keep you all happy by updating when I can. You have all been great! I hope you review again!
And special thanks to gahhMinerva and her excellent beta-reading skills! Read her stories! They are fab!
Chapter 4
Pub Hopping Part 2
It had been a while since Severus had last stepped in to The Hags Head. Many memories were buried within the old Georgian pub varying, from good to bad, all flashing before his eyes as if he were back at the pictures with his Muggle grandma. He had remembered the first time he had met Lily here walking in with all her glory and placing herself at the bar alone. He could remember his initial surprise at her being somewhere without perfect Potter and made himself known from his favourite spot in the corner at the bar. While not entirely pleased to see him after the rowing match they had both had on the last day of Hogwarts, she had still been surprised that Severus was there, sitting in his usual brooding way in the fine pub. She had asked if he had followed her. He had said no. She asked why he was here. He said that he was here because of the fine ale and the great view of the sea. Severus had never really been a fan of ales, much preferring the fine wines of the world, and Lily had commented on his inner snob showing through. He could not have helped but laugh. The tension had relaxed and they talked freely of the ways of the world as they once had done in the old Slug Club. Yes, they were both forgiven. Lily had announced that she was marrying Potter; Severus never said anything, remembering what they had last argued over. Despite inwardly wishing that Potter would go to hell, he gave Lily his final blessing and wished her happiness. She hugged and kissed him and wished him luck. That was the last time he ever spoke to his friend properly again. Possibly his happiest memory of the pub. Lifting his pint of fine ale, he toasted the memory and took a long draft.
Gazing around the old fashioned interior of the pub he saw the staff mingling with the local folk, playing cards and darts. It was not so bad. At least they had left him alone instead of insisting that he go and play with them.
It's only a matter of time, he thought with a shake of his head.
Looking across the bar he saw Albus and Minerva talking amicably, both feeling every word which was spoken between them, their attention either on one or the other. With a quirked brow, Severus watched them making gestures, keeping eye contact and laughing. One of the many things Severus had learnt from the old headmaster was not only to read the mind of the unsuspecting, but also to read the body language of them. Closed in posture, eye contact, and gentle gestures…oh, they have it bad, he thought with amusement. To the untrained eye, one would merely see a couple of old friends immersing in a great discussion and, most probably a little tipsy too.
No, there is definitely something there between them, Severus smirked to himself.
"You look like a man planning something," came a voice from below and Severus whipped round to find Filius staring at him with amusement.
"Perhaps," replied Severus evasively.
"Are you going to let an old man in on your secret?"
"Which one?" Severus quipped ironically.
"The one you are brooding over."
"It's not my secret to tell."
"Then whose is it?" Filius asked curiously and Severus motioned across the bar towards the headmaster and his deputy. An innocent glance across the bar was all the little charms professor needed to know. He may not have been an expert in Occlumency and body language but years of working with the couple, not to mention what the students taught him, gave him the wisdom of how to recognise a yearning couple.
"Do you think they know?" Filius asked with a small smile.
"I doubt it," Severus snorted and took another draft of his ale, while watching Pomona make her way over to the bar and wave to both men. "Now look, you have made them aware of my comfortable space in the corner. I particularly picked this place because it goes unnoticed by unwanted eyes."
"I cannot help being popular," chuckled Filius as he watched Pomona walk around the bar with a new beverage.
"You won't be in the minute," growled Severus to the little man.
"Hello, what are you two doing all the way over here?" Pomona asked them as if they were misbehaving students that she was about to scold.
"Checking out the crumpet," Severus replied flippantly and Filius choked on his whisky. Severus gave him two big slaps on the back until the little professor had stopped coughing. Pomona on the other hand looked delighted that Severus was actually showing interest in any woman. Severus was naturally a private man so the thought of having to confide in anyone about the workings of his mind and what made it tick made him squirm inwardly.
"Oh, really? Anything to your taste?" she said eagerly, waiting for this fantastic piece of gossip. Severus narrowed his eyes as if he were scrutinizing the possible candidates in the pub.
"A few possibilities, nothing spectacular," Severus replied in a bored voice, with a mock-helpless look, and Pomona looked a little dejected.
"That's a shame. At least you still have a few more pubs to go around yet!" she said, brightening up and, with that, Pomona walked away towards a table of teachers on the other side of the pub, stumbling every so often. Filius could not bear it any longer and let out a full-blown cackle of laughter, which almost sent Severus in to a fit of giggles. After a few minutes of good laughter, Filius began to wipe the tears away from his eyes.
"Ah, bless her," he commented and, Severus snorted.
"What for?"
"Once a Hufflepuff, always a Hufflepuff. No matter what, they always love a good piece of gossip," Filius said, motioning to the barman for another whisky.
"Indeed," agreed Severus and motioned to the barman for another ale. "And what is the gossip of the moment in the faculty?"
"I thought you liked to keep out of that sort of thing?" said Filius with incredulity, raising his eyebrows in a rather comical way.
"I don't like to natter about it like many of the hens of Hogwarts," he replied silkily. "But it does help to know the gossip; it keeps one on top of things. It also can be rather amusing at times."
"I see," nodded Filius and took a sip of his renewed whisky. "Well, Hagrid has bought something else illegal; I forget what it is. Let me see…Oh yes, Poppy has decided she would much like a toy boy, so steer clear of her tonight."
"A toy boy? Me?" Severus said with no greater amount of amusement and incredulity. "You must be joking!"
"I kid you not; she said any young man will do for tonight and that includes you." Filius gave a hearty laugh at the picture Severus was making by pretending to throw up in the fake flowerpot next to him.
"She's not my type, too old," he said with disgust, glaring at the witch in question who had just decided to have a go on the karaoke machine. "And she's a poor singer."
"Not to mention the fact that she would 'check you up' every time she got the chance," added Filius, and he laughed again as Severus made a retching sound.
"The thought is enough to make me turn gay," he said with a grimace. "Or celibate."
"Lucky she hasn't spotted you then," Filius winked at the younger wizard, who closed his eyes in thankfulness.
"Make this your last. I think it should be time to move on to the next pub after this," Severus commented and made a swift motion to Albus across the bar. Albus, however, seemed not to notice as he was too immersed in his great debate over the latest Transfiguration development with Minerva. They had been going over all angles of their argument for the last hour, and, so far Minerva seemed to be winning. It was not until Severus threw a quick charm their way, to make their seats disappear, that they actually realised that he was trying to tell them something.
"My dear, do you think Severus is trying to communicate with us?" Albus said in amusement as he stood up rubbing the spot where he had landed.
"Either that or he was being incredibly rude and decided to have some fun with a couple of old people," Minerva replied feeling rather put out by the actions of the Potions master. "What did you do that for?" she shouted across the bar.
"You were being incredibly rude by not listening to me," Severus drawled as Filius went off in to a new wave of laughter.
"You could have used something else!"
Severus shrugged and smirked at the elder witch.
"What do you want?" said Minerva, adjusting herself and sending a withering glare at the offending potions master.
"Last orders, we shall be going soon," Severus replied smoothly. "Do spread the word. I would hate for anyone to be left behind."
Minerva narrowed her eyes and sent a rude gesture towards Severus, which was very rare for her to do. Severus concluded that she was probably a little more than tipsy and thought with satisfaction that he would use that against her next time they had an argument about Gryffindor verses Slytherin.
"Now that's something you don't see everyday!" commented Filius, with his eyebrows raised in a rather comical way, as he finished the rest of his whisky.
"Come on," Severus said as they got down from the bar and made their way over to the rest of the group. Its members, by now, were rather wide-eyed and swaying a little. "Ready?"
A mixture of 'yeses' and other moans and grumbles of agreement were heard throughout the group as the headmaster approached.
"Everyone here?" said Albus as he stared around the group.
"Not quite, the Vectors are staying and Hagrid has just gone for a jimmy," replied Auriga, as she held on to the chair for support.
"Here he comes, right, where next?" Rolanda stated and looked at Severus with a smile. Severus raised his eyebrow and glanced down at the smaller witch taking in the golden eyes shimmering in the candlelight.
"Severus?" the headmaster's voice slipped in.
"The Cheeky Warlock in the Isle of White," Severus replied, looking her straight in the eye.
As the group thought about the place, they all Apparated outside an old pub surrounded by weathered trees and lines of bushes scattered all over the countryside. A mist had descended over the fields, and if anyone cared to look up at the half moon, they would notice it wrapping itself around it as if tucking the man on the moon into bed. Everywhere else it cast an eerie spell of shadows and sudden chills about the place so the faculty decided to move quickly in to the warmth, which washed over them as they walked into the pub and moved towards the bar. Albus guided Minerva towards a nice booth at the back of the pub, and to the disappointment of Minerva, a few of the other faculty members had started to follow them also.
"Oh, look. They do cocktails," commented Albus, picking up an old drink menu and pointing to the intriguing looking beverages available for a fixed price. "I think I am going to sample the Double Decker. What would you like, my dear?"
Albus handed her the menu as she scanned the cocktail section slowly. Her eyebrows quirked in amusement when she realised what the Double Decker consisted of and mentioned this to Albus.
"Yes, lots and lots of ice cream mixed in with alcohol. A very good mixture if you ask me," Albus chuckled in good humour. Minerva laughed with him and decided to try one also.
"My gosh, I thought it may be a little sweet for you!" Albus commented as Minvera leaned in to swat him with her handbag.
"I love a good challenge," was all Minerva felt she had to say on the matter. Once her opinion was voiced then there was no need to repeat it for those who did not listen carefully. The faculty surrounding their table completely missed her opinion and she felt no need to elaborate on it for they were not going to believe it anyway. Albus understood it, and that was all that mattered. Minerva suddenly felt panic grasp her as Pomona and Hagrid began to join them. Thinking quickly, Minerva had the sudden urge to slip a quick enchantment on the seat in which Pomona was about to sit on, and did so before anyone could notice. A crafty piece of wandless magic later and the faculty suddenly found a rather distressed Pomona Sprout hanging upside down with her stockings and big flowery underpants showing. Trying to look innocent, but most of all trying desperately not to laugh, Minerva covered her mouth with her hand. Watching the scene unravel before her, she saw Hagrid trying to get her down, but when he did Pomona floated upwards another foot or so. It was only when Albus came back with their drinks that he managed to get her down. After restoring Pomona to her feet, Albus took her over to the bar and bought her a drink to calm her nerves. Her plan had worked. The staff had now moved to the next booth in fear of a repeat performance, so she now had Albus to herself again.
"That was a very wicked thing you did, Minerva," said Albus in a low, deep voice. Minerva looked up to see Albus slide in to his seat again with a twinkle evident in his sea-blue eyes. She could not help but blush at the fact that she had been caught and dropped her gaze to her cocktail resting on the old wooden table. "I am curious to know why you did that, and I am sure you are going to elaborate on it."
"I did not want them sitting at this table," she admitted, as she felt a little foolish. Minerva felt like she was seventeen again, being asked to admit that it was her who charmed Professor Kettleburn's breakfast to make him turn in to a hippopotamus on April Fool's Day. "I wanted to continue the discussion alone, without anyone butting in."
"Ah, I see. But a simple indication of another table would have done the trick," he said, his voice indicating the deep amusement shown in his eyes. "Ah, Minerva. What am I going to do with you?"
Minerva could not help but laugh at the phrase he often used to use with her while she was under his tutelage. It was not often said, but when it was, it was usually mentioned in good humour and mirth. Indeed the day she was caught out on April Fool's Day was the day Albus first ever mentioned it.
"Don't worry, my dear. I shall not tell," he said softly, gently placing his hand on hers. A sudden explosion made a rather loud noise, which resounded throughout the pub, making its occupants jump in fear and bewilderment. Around the other side of the bar, Severus had just sent Filius sliding across the smooth bar surface, and into the giant fish tank opposite. A look of sheer terror crossed the little Charms professor's face as the poor man was sent hurtling towards the scattered tropical fish that resided within the fish tank. A moment later and he was met with a very disgruntled voice, summoning him back towards the offending professor whence it came. The faculty turned around in time only to see a very wet, disgruntled looking wizard, flying across the room as if he were a goblin being drawn to a gold mine. After a moment of reflection, Severus placed his fellow colleague back on his stool, and sat back to watch the professors' "Reaction".
"See, that was spontaneous," he drawled and eyed the small fellow with a mixture of triumph and amusement. A few minutes earlier, Filius had made the mistake of commenting on the fact that Severus secretly liked Rolanda and that his actions were all so dull and predictable. Severus had argued that the older wizard was seeing things in his old age and he was perfectly spontaneous enough as he was, and to prove it, he banished his fellow colleague across the other side of the room and back again when he was not expecting it. Out all of Filius's years of experience, he should have learnt by now not to provoke such a response from the tense Potions master, even if he was joking. At least the dripping wet professor knew that, what he had insinuated as a joke was not only true, but also Severus could not bear to admit it either.
"Touché," was all Filius could say after the shock of his life. "Another Scotch please. Make it a triple."
Severus sat in all his triumph smirking at his shell-shocked colleague and calling to the barman for another drink. Before the barman could take his order, Severus felt himself fly backwards out of the window of the pub. Lying on his back in the middle of the field, Severus registered the loud cheers and whistles coming from within the pub and began to scramble to his feet. Staggering slightly due to both the thick ankle deep mud and the consumption of alcohol, Severus began to make his way towards the pub only to find himself on his back, sliding and eventually flying back through the window.
"But you're not quite spontaneous enough," Filius cackled at the dour professor, who was caked head to toe in thick mud. Severus gave him a murderous look.
"Oh, Severus! What have I told you about playing in the mud?" cried Poppy across the bar, as if Severus deliberately went around rolling in thick wet mud, just to annoy the mediwitch. Severus got to his feet and grabbed the small professor by his foot and carried him outside only to drop him in to a pile of horse manure in the next field.
"Oh, do be careful! I'd rather not be fixing anyone back together on my night off," Poppy moaned as she watched the scene unfold before her eyes. Already the staff and the local folk had taken sides of who was going to win and were cheering them on as the hexing and cursing bounced back and forth between the two professors. It seemed that while Filius had the experience of being an expert at duelling, Severus could also pack a good punch with the amount of fighting he had done with his time with the Death Eaters. The amount of spectators had grown within the last few minutes as Severus made Filius turn into a garden gnome complete with fishing rod, and Filius put a good charm on Severus to make him yodel, and Severus made Filius look like a donkey, and Filius gave Severus the neck of a giraffe… all within the space of five minutes. The duel was subsequently ceased when Filius got one over on Severus by not only getting him to sing, "I Have a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts", but also bouncing him up and down in the horse manure in which he had previously been dropped.
"Enough!" shouted Severus once the spell had worn off. "I give up!"
"HA! Never underestimate me, Severus Snape! I may be small, but I am still more experienced than you!"
"Oh, shut up!" Severus snapped irritatedly and threw a large clump of horse manure at the tiny professor, which bounced on his forehead and made Filius fall back into a rather deep muddy puddle. Severus then tried to stalk off towards the pub, but the effect was rather lost on him for he was covered head to toe in horse manure. Pausing for second, he magically cleaned himself off, and shouted to the staff that they were leaving. Severus did not think he could stand going back into the pub after such a humiliating defeat, especially to a midget.
"Hurry up!" he barked to the staff as they scrambled across the field to where he was fuming silently to himself.
"Yes, drill sergeant!" Minerva commented dryly, giving him the Scouts' honour signal, and Severus shot her a filthy look.
"Next place, The Three Wise Wizards, Norfolk," he continued to bark as a few stragglers stumbled into the field where they were all congregated.
"Wait up! Let us catch our breath!" someone gasped and Severus whirled around to see Artimis, the Ancient Runes professor, with his hands on his knees.
"Ready? Go!" barked Severus, and they all Disapparated to their next destination.
The Three Wise Wizards came in to view as the group of teachers gazed around the deserted beach and up at the pub, with its shining bright candles whirling around, giving it a disco effect. The sea appeared to be rather calm, as there was barely any wind around to force any waves upon the soft sand. The moon glittered high above the shimmering water below, giving it an almost clear appearance. Minerva realised that it must have been quite late due to the fact that the sky was pitch black, and she hugged Albus's arm for support as they climbed up the sandy bank. They both watched with amusement as they saw Poppy try to catch up with Severus's swift strides, but Severus was determined to be rid of her and grasped the hand of Rolanda, who was just a little up ahead of him.
"Damn it!" The staff heard her curse as Severus had escaped.
"I think we should sit outside, don't you?" Albus said as they walked into the pub and over to the bar.
"Yes, that would be splendid." Minerva grinned and let go of his arm. "I shall go and find us a spot."
"Very well. What would you like?" Albus asked graciously, with a gesture to the bar.
"Why don't we have a nice bottle of wine between us? That way we don't have to keep coming in and refilling," Minerva suggested brightly.
"An excellent idea. Red or white?" said Albus approvingly.
"Oh, white. The choice is yours of what we shall have." Minerva smiled and attempted to walk off. She stumbled a few times as she made her way back down on to the beach and decided the best course of action was to take off her sandals to help her walk better. Minerva spotted a good place to sit over by one of the sand dunes, not too far away from the pub so that Albus would spot her, and an adequate distance to run if either needed the toilet. Transfiguring a few towels to sit on from a couple of pebbles, Minerva began to prepare laying them out, and then began preparing a fire. There was nothing better than roasted marshmallows on a summer's eve, and it suddenly occurred to her that she had not brought any. However, when Albus came back, he immediately handed her a jumbo pack of marshmallows and declared that they should have a bonfire.
"That's exactly what I thought!" laughed Minerva as she lit the fire and began to stoke it with a log she had found nearby.
"Great minds think alike!" said Albus as he poured a glass of the best sweet white wine around and handed it to Minerva, who gave him a radiant smile in return.
"Either that or you know me too well. Maybe I should surprise you!" Minerva replied, idly twisting her hair around on her finger.
"You already have. I haven't seen you do that since you were seventeen!" Albus indicated to her hair, and she laughed.
"No, it has been a while since I have let myself a little loose. I don't think I have since Eric died."
"Yes, I have to admit, I haven't seen you have this much fun since you lost Eric. I was much the same when I lost Amelia."
"It has taken me these last twenty years to get over his death. I have lost too much time," Minerva said sombrely, and Albus lifted her hand and kissed it.
"It does take a long time to get over lost loved ones. I just hope it never happens again," Albus said gently as Minerva smiled softly, touching his cheek with the hand he had kissed.
"Me too," she whispered and toasted him.
"So this is where you have got to?" shouted Pomona, making them both jump. "They're over here!"
"So leave them be!" shouted Severus, making futile attempts to release himself from Poppy's grasp, including dragging another young man alongside so he could sneak off and take his place. The young man had already commented on her "beauty", so Severus saw his escape plan form before his eyes. Other members of the faculty had followed to watch Severus make his great escape, which gave Severus a willing distraction, just so he could nip around the back of the sand dunes with his bottle of wine.
"Let go, woman! I shall hex the living daylights out of you!" he shouted at Poppy, but it had fallen on deaf ears. Minerva could not help but laugh as she watched Severus skid across the sand like a reluctant child being taken to the dentist. His arms were flailing around all over the place, and, eventually he gave up with his legs and just sat on the ground. It gave him enough time to make Poppy let go and so he bolted towards the water's edge and round the sand dunes out of sight. Cheers for Severus immediately broke out for his successful escape and the staff began to join the now blazing bonfire.
"I've never in all my years seen Severus move so fast!" Albus commented with great amusement. Poppy, it seemed, had helped herself to the new young man, which Severus had dragged along with him, and sat herself down with her willing partner. On top of the sand dunes, Severus watched with satisfaction as Poppy had taken the bait, and he slid down the sand with a sigh of relief. Conjuring himself up a glass, he poured a generous amount of wine in it and watched the stars with contentment. His rapid breathing had slowed, letting him listen to the sounds of laughter coming from the new camp and the relaxing sound of the ripped waves. Gazing a little blurry-eyed into outer space, his thoughts turned to the witch with the golden eyes, and mesmerising smile.
Oh, all right, goddamn it! I do fancy her, he thought with a little irritation. He would never admit that to anyone else. A sudden pitter-patter movement jolted him from his thoughts and he soon found himself company to the witch who had just occupied his thoughts.
"Fantastic escape," she said as his eyes began to glitter with amusement.
"No peace for the wicked?" Severus asked ironically as Rolanda shook her head.
"Don't be daft; Snape-hunting wouldn't be half as fun," she said with a mischievous smile and conjured herself a glass. Severus rolled his eyes with a half smirk and began to pour her a glass of wine.
"Indeed. So now you've found me, what are you going to do with me?" he questioned her as she formed a smirk of her own.
"Come with me and you shall find out," Rolanda replied with a flirtatious note in her voice and climbed down the sand dune towards an old house in the distance.
"Sounds promising," Severus said with a slightly hopeful note in his voice and followed her lead until he finally caught up with her.
Albus made a quiet suggestion that they ought to head back to Hogwarts before they could hardly move. All of the staff, with the exception of Minerva, felt inclined to stay put and continue to drink long into the night. Albus merely nodded and helped Minerva up. Minerva staggered slightly and Albus tried to catch her without success.
"I do believe we have had far too much to drink, Albus," laughed Minerva as she attempted to make her way back up to her feet.
"Yes, I haven't been this drunk for a while," Albus chuckled and stood up, successfully helping Minerva to her feet.
"Albus?"
"Hmm?"
"How are we going to get home?" Minerva said as they swayed across the sand.
"Erm, portkey should be the best option, I think." Albus replied trying to think straight and waved his wand in the hopes of producing a portkey.
"You did it, well done!" praised Minerva as the world began to spin around, making them feel extremely dizzy. Soon Minerva's quarters swam in to view and they landed with a thump on the floor. Climbing her way up to the bed next to them, Minerva stumbled across and jumped on to her back, only to hear Albus laugh at her. Climbing his way on to the bed, Albus leant over and kissed her gently on the lips as she pulled him forward.
What will happen with the rest of the staff?...will they make it back in one piece? What happenedto Severus and Rolanda...and more importantly, what happened with Albus and Minerva?
What did you think? Deadful? Acceptable? Exceeds Expectations?...let me know!