Cue the music!

The students arrived home quite relived but all feeling much better after their experience with the meanest rollercoaster in London. Mike sat down heavily on the sofa ruffling out the pages of the paper he found behind one of the cushions. Neil grabbed a packet of lentil crisps and vacated to his room, Rick sat on the kitchen counter rethinking the day and Vyvyan grabbed a fork and started stabbing the table.

Rick sneered at Vyvyan "What are doing, Vyvyan, apart from being the spazmo you are?" It felt good to him to get some verbal abuse going.

Vyvyan looked up from his work and pointed the fork at Rick menacingly "Shut up, wimp." And then continued stabbing the table mercilessly.

"You're so easily amused you pathetic waste of air."

Vyvyan raised an eyebrow at the weak remark and shook his head "At least I'm not a virgin."

Rick glared at him "I am NOT a virgin! You have not proof."

"Is that a bet?" Vyvyan sat back in his chair, amused.

"No I'm saying there is not proof that I'm a virgin."

"Really?" Vyvyan stood "You wear dresses, you are obsessed with wanting to find out what a girl even really looks like, you don't know what a sperm is, you don't know the difference between making out and sex-"

Rick giggled stupidly interrupting Vyvyan "You said S-E-X!"

Vyvyan sighed "And you laugh at the mention of sex and-"

"ALRIGHT!" Rick yelled "You've proved your point."

"I have?" Vyvyan was surprised. He wanted to start a fight but with Rick agreeing with him, it was difficult to find something to fight about. He even had a band ready to cue the music when the fight would start… "Hmm… Mike?" he called behind him.

"Yeah?"

"What's a good thing to fight about?"

Mike put down his paper to think "Uh… Destruction of property?"

"Oh, thanks." Vyvyan said and then turned back to Rick and grinned "Well, Rick, last week I burned all your O level work and college stuff, and all your money! Well, not really, I stole it but I burned everything else anyway."

Rick gasped and shook with fury "YOU-"

"Bastard? Yeah I know." Vyvyan laughed.

Rick growled and made for the stairs. Vyvyan started to chase him but turned to the band that suddenly arrived in the kitchen and shouted "CUE THE MUSIC!"

"JA!" the band shouted simultaneously. It was the phenomenal industrial German band, Rammstein!

The soft tune on the keyboard started but then all the instruments joined in a bang labeling the start of the song. Vyvyan charged up the stairs after Rick grabbing a baseball bat.

Getadelt wird wer Schmerzen kennt
vom Feuer das die Haut verbrennt
Ich werf ein Licht

Vyvyan crashed down Rick's bedroom door and swung his bat blindly through the dust that the collapsed door kicked up.

in mein Gesicht
Ein heißer Schrei
Feuer frei!

Rick ducked under the bat "HA MISSED ME!" but Vyvyan hit him directly on his forehead. He then threw him out into the corridor.

Bang Bang
Bang Bang

With the bang of the lyrics to the music, Vyvyan whacked Rick repeatedly until he grabbed the bat and tried holding away from his head. Rick managed to slip away from Vyvyan's swinging range, backed back into his bedroom and grabbed a stapler from his desk.

Geadelt ist wer Schmerzen kennt
vom Feuer das in Lust verbrennt
ein Funkenstoß

Rick grabbed Vyvyan's hand and stapled it to the wall. Vyvyan yelped in pain and Rick jumped stupidly out of swinging distance "Ha! Get me now, you stupid git!" Vyvyan tried swinging at him but he was always just out of his reach.

in ihren Schoß
ein heißer Schrei
Feuer frei!

Vyvyan pried his hand off the wall and ran after Rick who was already down the stairs. Neil lumbered out and called after them "Hey, is there a band tonight?"

Bang Bang, Bang Bang
Feuer frei!

Bang Bang, Bang Bang
Feuer frei!

Rick ran through the kitchen sticking his tongue at Vyvyan but not looking where he was going and ran into the door sliding down onto the floor. Vyvyan looked at his bat shrugged, threw it away and grabbed a poker.

Gefährlich ist wer Schmerzen kennt
vom Feuer das den Geist verbrennt
Bang Bang

Rolling out of the way just in time, Rick dodged the poker, which Vyvyan had thrown. Grunting in frustration Vyvyan threw a few more. Rick cried out and ran around the room away from them all. One speared Mike's paper but he simply threw it behind him and continued reading.

gefährlich das gebrannte Kind,
mit Feuer das vom Leben trennt
ein heißer Schrei
Bang Bang
Feuer frei!

Rick ran outside where, unknown to Vyvyan who came running after him, picked up a hosepipe full of pressure. Vyvyan stumbled outside and was blasted by the water and flown back into the lounge's far wall causing it to shake.

Dein Glück
ist nicht mein Glück
ist mein Unglück

From out of nowhere, Vyvyan pulled out a rocket launcher "Eat this, Pissface!" he cried as he launched it. Rick screamed and ducked and the rocket whistled away into the sky.

Meanwhile in America-The White House-

George Bush: God Bless me, I mean, America. What's that funny looking missile shaped object that's heading towards me at blinding speed?

BOOOM!!!

Bang Bang, Bang Bang
Feuer frei!

Neil entered the room "Vyvyan! No explosive weapons. Little kid's are reading this fanfic!"

Vyvyan sighed and threw away the rocket launcher "Yeah, sorry Neil."

Rick seized this opportunity and started punching Vyvyan in the stomach. Hardly feeling this at all Vyvyan gave him one punch and Rick was sent stumbling backwards. Just as he regained his balance he trip over one of the band's thick wires, unplugging the whole system.

Feuer fr-

The band looked accusingly at Rick. Till Lindemann, lead singer, giant of a man, walked right up to him "Vas did you do?" he asked in his low grumbly voice. The other members gathered behind him, cracking their knuckles. One, Richard, threw down his guitar and walked right up to him.

"Uh… I'm sorry gents, I really didn't mean to do anything!" Rick stuttered.

"Nein, don't you lie. Ve are going to beat you up." Richard said rather casually. The rest murmured and nodded in agreement.

Rick laughed nervously and snorted receiving raised eyebrows in response "There's no reason to get violent…" he shook his head and pointed to Vyvyan "It's his fault! He punched me! All of you, beat him up!"

They turned for a second but then focused back on Rick.

"Ve are being paid by Vyvyan to be here, ja? So vhy would ve beat him up?" Till asked in a rather rhetorical way.

"Well-" Rick started.

Till's booming voice interrupted "He also paid us to beat you up after ve'd finished the song." He pulled up his shirt sleeves ready to begin pummeling.

Rick whinnied loudly and then screeched at Vyvyan "VYVYAN! YOU BASTARD!"

As Rick was being pummeled by the Germans Neil walked up to Vyvyan "Vyv, I think it was really uncool to hire a German band to sing and beat up Rick."

Vyvyan frowned "Why's that, Neil?"

"Well I was upstairs, wasn't I? I could've missed it!"

Vyvyan nodded "Yeah, sorry 'bout that Neil."

I had to include my fav. Band of all time, Rammstein! and then at least mention two of the members names (Till Lindemann and Richard Kruspe Bernstein) because im a hopless fangirl over them. I know that Rammstein wouldn't have been around in the 80's but come on! In The Young Ones, anything can happen! There you have it, another fanfic comes to a close, thank you, and good night!