A/N: Chapter 28 of Agent Reach is here, with the really awful ideas that my editor decided I need to give a shot: Reach waking up to a BJ from Tex and Massa making Wash wear a maid outfit in the middle of the desert. Originally, I had slapped both ideas down (because I thought they sounded as ridiculous as having South perform a striptease for Maine), but eventually…fuck. I hate him sometimes.

*Chapter 28*

Sandbox

Massachusetts held a hand over her mouth, trying her hardest to not burst out laughing. "Oh my God…that looks surprisingly good on you." 'Even I can't look that good in a skirt or thigh highs…he looks too good.'

To no surprise, Washington let out an annoyed growl. "Care to explain this? Why the hell do you have this shit with you!? Did you plan this out or something!?" The black-haired Freelancer was wearing a rather adorable maid outfit, complete with a frilly dress and headpiece. And to make matters worse, he had a pair of thigh high socks and ankle-cut shoes. If he were a girl, he could put all the cute maids at a maid hotel in Japan to shame.

"Because I figured it would come in handy at some point," Massachusetts replied with a smile, wishing she had a camera to take a picture for blackmail purposes. "It could be worse. I could make you wear a pink Hello Kitty outfit." 'Tempting. I wish I still had my old high school Halloween costume. That would brighten his day.'

Washington let out an irritated growl of defeat, trying his best to cook something for the two of them. "You know what? I fucking hate you right now. I wish I refused to help you on this goddamn mission of yours and stayed in my cell. At least in prison I didn't have to wear a stupid maid outfit." The blue/white Freelancer unscrewed a cap from a water bottle, taking a drink. "And in that prison, you couldn't even take a step outside without fifty armed guards taking aim at you in case you tried anything funny. Besides, who the hell is going to see you here, apart from me? We're in the middle of the desert." 'Not a single person lives on this planet. It's nice and desolate. Not even the Chairman could find us here if we didn't want to be found.'

"That's not the goddamn point! Despite what you may have heard from a few of the other assholes in Project Freelancer, I do not have a fetish of wearing women's clothing!" Washington snapped, brandishing a pair of tongs at her. "The only weirdo who was into that was that creepy cook on the Mother of Invention! Not me!"

"Funny. Because it was actually the chief medic who said you once dressed up in a pair of tights and heels," Massachusetts yawned, enjoying watching the black-haired Freelancer get more and more furious. "Something about a horribly placed bet on a Grifball game?" 'I heard way worse, kiddo. Including one story about York getting caught in the janitorial closet with Carolina and they were both wearing tiny skirts.'

"Fuck! I was hoping you wouldn't have heard about that!" Washington groaned in annoyance. "If I ever find that asshole, I'm going to rip his skull out of his head and beat him to death with it!" Massachusetts grinned and took another drink, looking up at the night sky above them. "As fun as that sounds, I think Tex already beat you to that. The guy's name was Jimmy, right?" 'Alpha told me that story once. I still don't believe it, but it's impossible for a smart AI to lie about a memory.'

"Dammit. It was," Washington sighed. "Tex beats everyone at everything, so I shouldn't be surprised." Massachusetts leaned back, letting the black-haired Freelancer/maid try and cook something. "Don't make something that'll make us have diarrhea, will you? That includes anything with curry in it." 'Jason…do you still have the memories of me? Or has everything been stripped away completely, making you nothing more than a puppet to do the Director's bidding?'

'I remember you telling me about how you were so sorry when you accidentally killed those three trainers. You wrote letters to their families, and even took time off from the project to attend the funerals. I'll do anything to try and bring your heart and mind back.' Massachusetts looked at Washington as he made them dinner, a tear running down her cheek. 'I'm sorry, David. But there will come a time in the future when I betray your trust in me. And when I do, you'll be back where you started.'

"Here. Dinner's ready." The brunette looked at Washington's cooking, and she raised an eyebrow. "Quick question. What the hell is this? It doesn't have traces of your bodily fluids in it, right?" 'It doesn't look that bad, but not great either. I guess it can't be helped. Guys typically can't cook for shit.'

"It's a goddamn kebab wrap! And no, I didn't fucking spit in it! I'm not fucking York, okay?" Washington yelled indignantly. He stormed back to his makeshift tent, growling. "And I am no longer wearing this shit! You wear it if you like it so goddamn much!" Massachusetts smirked, and she took a bite of the wrap. 'Pretty good. Is that a hint of sweet onion sauce? Mmm…for a guy who was in a cell for awhile, this is impressive.' "Careful. I might actually take those words to heart."

"I-I…" Washington stuttered, embarrassed. Massachusetts took another bite, wiping a small drop of onion sauce from her lips. "Oh, just get changed already. As funny as it is to make you wear that for the rest of your life, it won't exactly protect you from getting shot by any possible Covenant hinge-heads. Our armor can at least handle some damage from plasma weapons. A maid outfit can't." 'Unlikely, but there is still a chance. And personally, I'd rather be safe than sorry.'

"Great. I always wanted a chance to fight alien invaders," Washington muttered. "The only bastards I ever got a chance to fight were the damn Insurrectionists." He stepped out of his tent, wearing his armor, and he wiped his head. "Why is it so hot in the desert at night for? Shouldn't be a bit colder?"

"Sandbox. It's just a giant ball of sand that somehow keeps heat in," the brunette returned. "Now sit down and eat. It's quite good." 'I never understood it either, but the damn heat isn't the biggest problem. It's snakes.' She went to take another bite when she heard a soft rattling, followed by a menacing hiss. 'Dammit. And one's right here, too. Maybe it caught the scent of blood from the meat?' "Give me your pistol. Now."

Washington tossed her his Magnum, and she caught it before firing twice. The snake hissed in pain, and the rattling stopped as the .45 rounds tore through its scaly body. Massachusetts handed his weapon back, brushing her brown hair back. "Thanks. Make sure you don't forget to reload it." 'Box Viper. Highly poisonous and capable of killing a fully grown adult elephant in a matter of minutes. Good thing we managed to hear it before it bit one of us.'

Washington took a bite of his own food, and he narrowed his eyes slightly. "Hmm…maybe I need a little soy to add some more flavor to it…" He let out a sigh as he leaned back. "I never thought this would ever happen. I thought I joined Project Freelancer to stop the Insurrection from tearing the UNSC to pieces. I thought I was doing something right. But now…I don't know. What are we?"

"Exiled. The UNSC employed us, and yet they're the ones who've imprisoned us," Massachusetts answered quietly. "Funny how quickly things go to hell, isn't it?" 'We were all soldiers, fighting for what we believed was right. And yet, thanks to the Director turning my brother into a monster and creating Tex, we've become the scapegoats for his crimes. Cloning, illegal augmentation…the list goes on and on.'

'Until we can find him and put an end to this, we'll never be free again.'

-0-

Reach blinked his eyes open, his face turning red at the sight in front of him. "Um, Tex, what the fuck are you doing?" 'Why is her face there, of all places?' Texas reached up to place a finger on his lips, shushing him. "Shh…let me handle this, hun~." Her other hand was inside Reach's trousers, trying to tug them down. "Just enjoy the show~."

'Is she about to do what I think she's going to do?' His face was flushed as the blonde pulled his pants and boxers down. "…" 'Okay, she is…I don't know how it'll feel but…' Texas looked up at him, her hand teasing his manhood slowly. "Aww, you're getting all tense~. That's cute~." She kissed the tip before running her lips gently down the side, Reach shivering and moaning softly. "A-ah…" 'Fuck. It feels incredible, and she hasn't even really started yet…'

Texas smiled and licked his growing erection from the base to the tip before she took him into her mouth, making Reach curse in pleasure. "Fuuuck…" 'Holy shit. This is just as good as I thought.' He could feel her tongue licking around him as she bobbed her head, giving him incredible pleasure. "A-allison! Fuck…" 'Wake-up head is the best kind. Goddammit. Why is Emile always right about this shit?'

The blonde continued to suck him off, letting out muffled moans as she took more and more of him into her mouth. "Mmm~…" She took his entire length down her throat, gagging as she deepthroated him. "Mmph~!" Reach moaned out as he felt himself tickling the back of her throat, the blonde giving him a wide-eyed innocent stare (even though she really wasn't). "Ohhhh! Allison!" 'Don't give me that stare…I can't resist it.'

Texas pulled her mouth off, catching her breath and stroking him fast. "Feel good, Adam~?" Reach nodded, feeling incredible pleasure build up. "F-fuck…" 'I'm not going to last much longer…she's good at this.' He had never gotten a blowjob before, and was pretty confident Texas had never given one either. "I-is this your first one?"

"Mmhm~." Texas took him back into her mouth, her soft pink lips sliding up and down his erection. "You get to be the first and only one to experience this~." Reach bit his lip, moaning as he got to experience the pure pleasure of oral sex. "Ahhh!" 'Goddammit. I'm loving this, and she knows it.' He was trying to put off his finish for as long as possible, but the blissful sensation of having his erection sucked off made that inevitable release approach even faster.

Texas's tongue lapped around him, and she kept teasing him by giving her innocent stare. "Go on~. You know you want to~." Reach closed his eyes and he released, his semen spilling into the blonde's mouth. "A-allison! Fuuuuuuuck…" 'Oh my fucking God…I can't believe this shit just happened. So glad I didn't install cameras in this room…'

Texas swallowed, licking her lips. "Mmmm…a bit salty, but pleasant all around. You taste good~." She crawled up onto him, letting out a loving purr. "Warmmm…" Reach struggled to pull his clothes back on, running a hand through her hair. "Fucking hell. That was something else entirely." Texas gave his cheek a kiss, smiling. "You're welcome~. Wake-up head is the best kind~."

Reach leaned to give her a kiss when he heard a very familiar kind of detonation. 'You've got to be shitting me. A Plasma Grenade, of all the goddamn times?' "I'll go check what that was…" 'Probably some idiot from the Blue Team who thought it would be funny to throw it at our base.' Even though the dumbass by the name of Tucker had been beaten many times by both Maine and Texas, he didn't seem to be the kind to actually learn his lesson. 'If it's him, I'll give him a shot in the leg and make him limp his ass back to base.'

"Okay~. I'll have fun tinkering with some new weapons~," the blonde purred, getting up. "After I put my armor on, of course. We don't want Wyoming to catch us unprepared, do we?" Reach threw on his armor, giving his new arm a funny look as he put on a replacement right shoulder piece. "Or the asshole who cut my arm off. And don't forget about the Director's wind-up toy." 'Who was that guy? The Director hired him to kill me, but doesn't he know that Tex is also still alive and a threat? Or does he just have a personal grudge against me?'

"I won't. Not until we can finish this for good." Texas put her armor on, grabbing a Sniper Rifle and loading. "Once we get the Reds and Blues into shape, we'll take the fight right to them. The mercenaries hired to kill you, the Meta, Wyoming, and the Director."

Reach nodded, picking up a new razor-sharp combat knife and Battle Rifle. "We'll end it, and prove to the UNSC the crimes he committed. But first, I want to deal with Wyoming. He has to be stopped before he murders another one of the Blues." 'I have to get up to the top of the canyon, and hunt him down.'

The two Freelancers walked out of their shared room, and Reach stopped when he saw both Sarge and Lopez lying on the ground. "What the fuck happened?" 'Someone came here and ambushed us. Maine, maybe?' A quick look told him that it was definitely a member of the Blues, as the captured flag was now missing. He looked at a small note left on Lopez, and he picked it up to read it. 'Reach, I took our damn flag back, as Tex only needs one to perform a striptease for you and Maine needs something to hit that asshole Tucker with. Sorry about the three idiots that got their asses kicked. Also, you might want that pink moron to get airlifted out of here, unless you want him dead. South.'

"Why am I not surprised?" Reach sighed. 'Ah well. It's only a damn flag…' Grif burst in, panting heavily. "Sir, Donut got hit by some weird blue thing! It doesn't look good!" The red/black Freelancer rolled his eyes as he opened a COM channel to Command. "I already know that, but thanks for stating the obvious." 'A Plasma Grenade. Dammit, Command is going to be pissed.'

"Red Team Command, this is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. We have wounded and need emergency evac. Do you copy?" Reach called. The COM crackled before the guy at the other end replied. "We're sending a Pelican to your location now. Expect arrival within five minutes. How serious are his paper cuts?"

"He got hit with a Plasma Grenade," Reach returned dryly, not exactly in the mood for games with Donut possibly being dead. 'Asshole. If I ever meet this guy, I'm going to beat the shit out of him with this arm.' The COM was silent before the man replied, "Wow. That really sucks, dude. We'll take him to the nearest hospital."

"Understood. Red Team out." Reach hung up, and Sarge finally started to get to his feet, grumbling. "Goddammit…why is every woman in this canyon addicted to kicking our ass? This is un-American!" Reach rubbed his head, silently wishing he stayed in bed with Texas instead of dealing with the same old bullshit. "We're not in America." 'Earth isn't anywhere close to here. It's on the other side of the galaxy.'

The red Sergeant grumbled something that sounded a lot like, "Stupid blue bitch" before he walked over to Lopez, standing the Mexican robot up. "Bitch broke my damn robot. If I ever see her, I'll give her a good blast from my Shotgun." Reach face-palmed, for he could hear Texas in his head saying, "Mreow chicka mreow mreow." 'Goddammit. She's got that stupid saying stuck in my head.'

"We'll get Donut airlifted to a hospital for better treatment," he said, walking to inspect Lopez. The brown robot sparked before its visor glowed golden, and it turned to face them. "Hello. Wait, why am I speaking English? I don't know English!"

'Great. Now our Mexican robot speaks English. At least one good thing came out of this shit," Reach sighed. "Well, how convenient. South hit Lopez's speech unit and somehow made him speak English. At least we can actually understand what the fuck he's saying." He looked at the small dents on the brown armor, stroking his chin. "Damage is minor at most. We can live with it." 'I sure hope that the damn unit doesn't decide to switch back to Spanish.'

"Wait until I find that damn bitch in blue. I'm going to kick her ass," Sarge growled. Reach turned to face him, his eyes narrowed. "Except that she'll be the one kicking your ass. I thought you would've learned by now to be smarter about picking your fights. South is a trained fighter." 'You've already suffered from Tex kicking your ass, even with her not trying anywhere near as hard.'

"Goddammit…ah well. At least I can understand Lopez now," Sarge grumbled. "Now, where is Grif? I need to shoot something I hate." The fat orange soldier poked his head out, only to duck back into his room. "Oh fuck this shit, man! I'm staying in my room! If you see a sock on the doorknob, don't fucking enter!"

"You don't wear socks, you filthy bastard," Simmons shot back, carrying Donut's body. Grif snorted, closing the door. "And for some reason we don't have a good Internet connection. But either way, we all need a way to masturbate. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to jack off to that hot porn the Lieutenant stole from the Blue Base."

"Oh, no you don't," Sarge growled, firing his Shotgun. The blast destroyed the door, and Grif let out a cry of shock. "Oh, come the fuck on, man! Can't a guy have some 'Alone Time' around here!? I bet the Blues don't have to put up with this bullshit!"

'You'd honestly be surprised,' Reach thought dryly as he took Donut's body. "Sarge, lower your weapon. Grif, get your ass out here before I make you the guinea pig for Tex's low budget sex change experiment." The chubby orange soldier scurried out, holding a hand over his ruined crotch. "Fuck that. I can still feel the pain."

Sarge lowered his Shotgun, stalking outside. "Let's go, ladies. You need to do some good old runs." The two remaining Privates followed the trigger-happy Sergeant, and Reach walked to the top of the base, where there was a Pelican waiting. A pair of medics rushed over to him, and the former Spartan handed them Donut's body. "Here. Alert me if his status changes." 'I don't expect him to survive this. We have to be prepared for the worst.'

"Yes, sir." The two medics took Donut away into the Pelican before it rocketed away, vanishing from the canyon. Reach saw a faint flicker of movement from the top of the canyon, and he narrowed his eyes as he looked through his Battle Rifle. 'You've finally revealed yourself, Wyoming. This rifle may not have the range of your Sniper Rifle, but I only need one chance to end this.' "Eta, activate my Active Camouflage. I'm hunting this traitorous asshole down."

The orange AI flickered up, and the unit containing his camo turned on, making Reach nearly invisible. "Reach, do you want me to tell Texas what you're about to do? She'll get worried if you simply vanish without a trace." The red/black Freelancer shook his head, carefully making his way over to the canyon wall. "No. If she found out that I left, then she'll insist on coming as well, leaving the Red Team vulnerable. For now, leave it be." 'It gives me a chance to deal with him alone, and sentence him accordingly.'

"Very well. Let's go after him." Reach spotted a series of winding trails leading up to the top of the canyon, and he started to walk up them, rifle in hand. 'You might think I'll show you mercy, because we were acquainted in Project Freelancer. But, did you show any towards Florida, or even try to understand the situation? No, you didn't. And that is why I won't, either.'

He knew how the British Freelancer fought, and it wasn't exactly hard to think of tactics in case the bastard caught onto the ambush. Wyoming was good as a long-range sniper, but close-range combat was where he failed miserably. 'He can't fight up close and personal at all. He probably doesn't even know how to.' Reach was trained in nearly all martial arts, as well as knife combat. His resume wasn't the cleanest, for he had accidentally killed a trio of ODSTs who challenged him when he was 15, but it was quite good. If he ignored the most recent encounter with the mysterious mercenary leader. 'Who was he? And why was that Energy Sword red, instead of the normal blue? I've never heard of a red plasma weapon.'

'Worry about that asshole later. We've got to deal with a certain murderous Brit first.' He reached the top of the trail, and he spotted Wyoming, rifle in his hands as he scoured the canyon. "Now, dear, where could you be hiding? Knock-knock, mate."

"Hello, Wyoming. It's been too long, hasn't it?" Reach aimed his rifle, pulling back and deactivating his camo. The white Freelancer whirled around, surprised to see him. "Reach!? What the bloody hell are you doing!?" He tried to bring his weapon into play when Reach fired, a three-round burst knocking the Sniper Rifle from his hands. The British man yelled in pain and held his injured hand when Reach fired again, a second burst striking him in the chest. "You murdered Florida, who was the one who made sure we were hidden from the Meta and the Director. You didn't try to understand what was going on. Your ignorance is what kills you." 'You're finished, Wyoming. Don't try to escape.'

Wyoming tried to sit up, clutching his chest, and he looked up at the red/black Freelancer. "I thought we were acquaintances…is this how you treat an old friend?" Reach aimed his Battle Rifle at his head, unflinching. "This is how I treat an old friend who becomes a murderous asshole. At least I can focus on stopping the Director's wind-up toy with you out of the way."

He fired, and the third burst tore through Wyoming's golden visor, killing him. The British Freelancer slumped to the ground, and Reach shouldered his weapon, his brown eyes cold. "Goodbye, Wyoming." He pushed Wyoming's corpse over the edge of the cliff, sending it tumbling down the rocky wall. "Time to get rid of his equipment." 'Standard protocol. Destroy any Freelancer armor or equipment to prevent it from falling into hostile hands.'

"This will make it easier for us to breathe, knowing that we don't have to worry about him attempting to kill us every time we step outside," Eta breathed. "Now we can worry about going after the Director and the Meta."

Reach jumped down, sliding down the rocky face and landing, grunting as he impacted on the ground. His boots and armor took most of the impact, but he could still feel the dull pain. 'It's not even a bruise. I'll walk it off.' "We have to let the Reds know about the project, first. They won't like it, though." He picked up Wyoming's body, carrying it towards the Red Base. 'I hope Lopez built a flamethrower. I want to make sure not a trace of his body remains.'

As he approached the base, Texas and the rest of the Reds ran towards him, surprised to see Wyoming's body in his hands. "Reach! What the hell happened!?" The red/black Freelancer threw the body onto the dusty ground, reloading his rifle. "I got rid of Wyoming. We won't have to worry about him trying to kill us anymore. Now, if you don't mind helping me Tex, we have to go and blow up this dead body."

The blonde Freelancer nodded, and both Freelancers aimed their weapons before firing, the dead Freelancer's corpse jerking with every shot. "Asshole." Texas drew a Plasma Grenade, and Reach took a step back as she threw it. The grenade stuck to Wyoming's limp crotch, and it detonated, sending his body into the air.

"Here is something that will help." Lopez offered Reach a flamethrower, and the red/black Freelancer took it before unleashing a stream of fire, burning Wyoming's body and armor. Unfortunately, the fiery weapon ran out of fuel before the corpse was turned to ash, and Texas growled in annoyance. "Get me some fusion coils. That'll do the job."

Lopez scurried away, and a few seconds later, he brought out six fusion coils. "Here." Texas rolled them onto Wyoming's corpse, and Reach fired. The fusion coils detonated, and Wyoming's body was gone, having been turned to ashes and smoke. A decent-sized crater was in the ground, and both Reach and Texas lowered their weapons. "Job done." 'Asshole. Now we can focus on getting these idiots in even better shape, and then go after our targets.'

'You best be ready Director, Meta. We're coming for you.'

A/N: I wanted an excuse to use that joke of Wash blowing up South's body from Reconstruction in this sooner or later XD. The Blood Gulch part of this story will be wrapped up around maybe Chapter 30 (I just want to get Doc and Sister involved lol), and then I'll be focusing on Washington and Massachusetts' journey together for awhile. See you!

P.S. A new poll will be up: who do you want to see a smut scene between next? SouthxMaine or TuckerxSister? I kinda like both ships a bit (especially Tucker and Sister XD). Also, since I am a fiend and have too much money to blow, I just bought Seasons 1-10 of RvB on Blu-Ray to help with bits of this fanfic in the future.