A/N: Chapter thirty-fucking seven. Holy shit. Who would've thought that I would be writing this fanfic for so long? I mean, damn. I realize I broke the shit out of canon RvB (again) by making Wash blind in one eye, but it makes it more interesting for the later chapters. Trust me on this lol. Also, the introduction of Halo 4 weapons and more grief for Grif!

*Chapter 37*

Reach looked down as Washington slowly started to regain consciousness. "Massa? Who the hell is that?" 'A Freelancer called Massachusetts? Never heard of them.' Texas stood up, removing her helmet. "Agent Massachusetts was our best weapon specialist. You wouldn't have seen her; she was a black-ops Freelancer. She's the only person in the UNSC who knows how to make an ice bullet, so you can imagine how bad the Insurrection wanted her talents."

She looked down as Washington let out another ragged cough, her blue eyes filled with sympathy. "I'm guessing Wash got on the wrong side of her, and she assisted the Meta. If that's the case, then this just got a hell of a lot harder." She wiped her forehead, a smear of Washington's blood on her hand. "But, we'll know exactly what happened when he gets up. Assumptions won't get us anywhere."

Reach let out a sigh, cursing under his breath and tossing her Alpha's chip. "Fuck. That's the last thing we need. Another Freelancer helping that damn wind-up toy. Tex, take them and Alpha to our ship. I want to talk to Washington alone." 'Dammit. I never expected this. But how the hell did Washington manage to get out of prison?'

"Got it. Come on, Jellyfish. We have something for you to work on." As Texas took the Huragok and her team away, Washington let out another pained cough as his eyes flickered open, his right still glazed. "W-what? My eye…I can't see. Reach? Is that…you?" He tried to sit up, and he clutched his chest in pain, falling back against the wall with a pant. He rubbed his remaining eye, and he blinked a few times as though unused to the dim light.

"It's me. What the hell happened here?" Reach knew that the Meta had done this, and that Agent Massachusetts was now aiding him, but there were some details that only Washington knew. And hopefully, he would have some good information about Massachusetts; Reach wanted to know just how good this Freelancer was.

"Massachusetts and I were sent by the Chairman to hunt down the Meta and Epsilon," Washington began, coughing. "We got Epsilon after he was stolen by the Basilisk's Fang, and when we encountered the Meta here…she betrayed me. Shot me and took Epsilon to give him to her brother…"

Washington struggled to his feet, and he shakily picked up a fallen Magnum. His grey gaze was filled with anger, and his fists were tight. "I swear…the next time we meet…I'm going to kill her." He spat out a mouthful of blood, wiping his chin, and started to stumble. "Dammit." His legs started to buckle when Reach caught him, hefting him up. "I got you. South and Maine are busy raiding what's left of the ship, but you'll need to take it easy for a week or so." 'Great. The Meta has a sister who's the best weapons specialist in Project Freelancer. Exactly what we fucking needed.'

"Pity. I'm starting to look forward to giving Massa a taste of her own fucking medicine," Washington growled, limping with Reach's help. "I have about eight rounds in store for her. I thought she actually cared. But clearly I was mistaken; I didn't mean anything to her. She needed me for Epsilon, nothing more. I just a tool for her to use to try and save her wind-up toy of a brother."

"Once we finish raiding supplies, we'll head out after them," Reach grunted. "Do you have any idea where Massachusetts's next destination could be?" 'He should hopefully have some information. They did travel together for a bit; I doubt that she didn't tell him something.' Washington bit his lip, and he let out a soft hiss. "I don't know. She didn't exactly specify, the little…"

He started mumbling curses under his breath, and he raised his Magnum as a door hissed open, South and Maine's team entering. The dark blue Freelancer was carrying a suit of powder blue armor with yellow accents, and she didn't bat an eyelid. "Didn't know you told Wash to take Caboose's teamkilling seriously. Or did the rest of us miss some sort of meeting that we're not aware of?"

"Sorry about that." Washington lowered his sidearm, only to squint and rub his remaining eye, panting and wheezing. Reach looked at the new equipment in South and Maine's hands, and he raised an eyebrow. "What have you found in terms of supplies apart from the suit?" 'We can use that for Washington when he recovers. Hopefully that won't take more than a week at most; I remember how quickly that foul shit works.'

"Plenty," South replied, a hint of satisfaction in her tone. "Experimental weapons, new reactors for our suits to boost equipment efficiency, enough food and water to last us for at least three to five months depending on Grif's mood, and a bunch of spare armor components. I think you could give your arm quite the interesting upgrade if the urge takes you."

The black/red Freelancer nodded in approval, and Tucker raised a hand. "Um, can someone tell me what the fuck this thing is supposed to be? I found it on the floor." He was holding a small hilt, and it ignited in his hand to his surprise. "What the hell!? This thing glows!? What the fuck is it!?"

"How the hell did you turn that sword on?" South demanded. "We've been trying to activate it for years!" Tucker shrugged his shoulders, observing the plasma weapon and giving it a gentle swing. "I don't know. I just held it, and it turned on. Is it supposed to do that?"

Reach and Washington shared a glance, and Maine placed down his cargo before walking to the wounded Freelancer, taking over. "Let me see that for a second." 'Why doesn't that sword ignite for anyone else? That doesn't make any damn sense to me.' During his time in Noble Team, he had always been able to use Energy Swords that he stole from a hinge-head. 'I wonder if that's a special variant, like the one that the asshole who cut my arm off has.'

Tucker handed over the weapon, and to Reach's surprise, it deactivated. "What the hell?" He tried flicking his wrist to activate it, and nothing happened. "Huh. That's strange. This damn thing seems to only somehow be activated by your touch." 'I've never seen an Energy Sword quite like this one. It's like it choose Tucker as its wielder.'

"Interesting," Eta murmured. "Records from Project Freelancer indicate this sword is an artifact recovered from an excavation site on the desert planet of Sandtrap. It was guarded by a group of twenty Sangheili that was exterminated by a Freelancer strike team consisting of New Jersey and Agent Alaska five years ago. New Jersey's mission logs say this sword in particular was known as 'The Savior'; it can only be wielded by a hero of the Sangheili."

"So, you're telling me that I'm the hero of an entire alien race? Fuck that shit," the aqua soldier scoffed. "I have sexy bitches to fuck." Reach face-palmed, and South placed the suit of armor down to give him a rap on the head. "Tucker, has your mother had any children that survived abortion?" Grif whistled, coughing and falling on all fours. "O-oh fuck. That was cold."

"Uh, I think the more important question is, 'Do any of you know any chicks apart from Sister who aren't complete bitches that won't sleep with me'," Tucker grumbled, obviously stung by the insult. Grif responded by giving him the finger, and Maine hissed in irritation. The two simulation soldiers looked at each other and backed away; no one was dumb enough or crazy enough to piss off Maine. Well, apart from the Meta.

"Sorry, but Freelancers have certain standards that I seriously doubt you fit," South answered dryly, folding her arms. "For one, you think the UNSC's motto is, 'When in doubt, rub one out'. Secondly, you have the shittiest aim out of anyone. No wonder Florida and Maine refused to let you use the fucking Sniper Rifle. How the hell did you miss the fucking target 16 times!? I bet even Alpha has better aim!"

"South, I'll bet you anything you want that I have better aim than Church," Tucker scoffed. South exchanged a look with Maine, who grumbled something, and she turned back to the aqua soldier. "Okay. When we get back to our ship, you two will have a contest. Whoever hits the target first wins, and the loser has to say that they suck, like ribbons in their hair, and want to kiss all the boys."

"Please. As if I'd lose to a ghost," Tucker snorted. "What the hell can he shoot from that rifle? Ghost bullets?" South let out a sigh, rubbing her helmet in exasperation. "We found a spare robot building kit. We can let him take that body and give him a rifle. But first, I need a beer. Grif, do you still have that six-pack we raided from the mess hall?"

Reach looked down and saw that the chubby orange soldier was drinking a beer through his helmet, and he tried his best to ignore a steadily growing headache. 'He's drinking through his helmet. How the fuck is that even possible? Eta told me they never got the helmet filters past beta testing.' However, it was Washington who made the first comment. "And here I was thinking no one but me would be gullible enough to actually try that bullshit…"

Maine grumbled in agreement, and he started to make his way outside, helping Washington reach their ship. Reach picked up a plastic wrapped weapon, and he removed the wrapping to reveal a new, sleeker version of the Sniper Rifle. It was lighter than the old model with a new scope, and it fired larger and deadlier rounds. 'New rifle. It feels better than the current model.'

"We also managed to find this thing. Whatever the hell it is." South was holding up something that looked a lot like a traditional Magnum, but the muzzle appeared to be some sort of sticky grenade. She aimed it at Grif's crotch, and the chubby orange soldier gulped and held his hands over the already permanently damaged region. "P-please don't…why the hell am I always the damn test dummy!? This is fucked up, man."

"Because you're the slowest physically?" Tucker asked dryly, testing his new sword by cutting through one of the walls. He jumped back as the superheated blades sliced a hole in the Titanium-A plating, and he gave the Energy Sword a look as sunlight streamed through. "Holy shit, dude. This thing is fucking awesome! I don't have to take shit from—"

He stopped mid-sentence as South and Grif both aimed a Battle Rifle at him (Grif the head, South the crotch), both of them turning off the safeties. The dark blue Freelancer stepped forward, her grip tight. "Shut. The fuck. Up. Otherwise, you'll be the newest guinea pig for Tex's low-budget sex change experiment and Maine's permanent target practice. And I am not fucking kidding, Blue-tard." Tucker gulped, and he backed himself into the wall. It happened to be the section he just cut a large hole in, and he fell through it, yelling out a long swear. "Fuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Reach sighed, silently hoping that there was a convenient suicide net around that part of the ship. 'If he dies…well, the only loss is that no one else can use that fucking sword.' "Why does it seem like we always end up dealing with the same damn bullshit?"

"You're realizing that too?" South rubbed her head, almost as if she was actually beginning to have a migraine due to the stress of dealing with the Blues. "I seriously don't get paid enough for this shit. When we get our names cleared, I'm putting in a request for a pay rise. I think I'm well overdue for some overtime pay."

"What? Freelancers don't get paid overtime?" Grif exclaimed. "You guys work that hard, and yet there isn't any benefit? Shit, you guys should protest or something. Do you even get sick leave?" He took another swig of his beer through his helmet, burping and throwing the empty glass bottle out through the hole of the wall. "Please let it hit that dickhole…"

Reach heard a dull thud, along with glass shattering, and he rolled his eyes. "If only you put as much effort into everything else. Then, you'd actually be a semi-decent soldier." 'The only things you are even remotely good at are getting drunk, smoking, and doing who knows what else in your room.'

"Nah, fuck it. I like being lazy. It pisses off Sarge, and Simmons has OCD because of me. I think I've hit my quota of work for the month," Grif yawned. "Technically, I've never actually checked out. I should be getting paid an amazing amount of overtime." Reach resisted the urge to face-palm, despite the increasing temptation to do so, and he picked up a bunch of plastic wrapped weapons. "Let's just get this shit onboard…" 'I'm looking forward to seeing what this rifle is capable of. These rounds look as if they can penetrate a Scorpion's armor plating.'

"Agreed. We can all get drunk later tonight too," South muttered, the dark blue Freelancer following Reach outside. "I think I've earned it. And I know Maine will appreciate it; he needs something to relieve his headache the morons have been causing."

The former Spartan grunted, his visor tinting as he walked outside. 'It's been awhile since I last bothered to drink. A stupid drinking game with Emile, I think?' "Make sure Tex doesn't get her hands on it. I don't want to know what the hell is going to happen to her when she gets even remotely drunk." 'For all I know, I'm going to wake up with her mouth in a certain spot.'

"Don't worry. I'll hide it from her," South promised. "Though she managed to find my rum last New Year's and proceeded to drink the entire stash. I walked into my room later that night and found her completely passed out with my copy of Fifty Shades of Grey in her hands." Grif coughed out a laugh, and the black/red Freelancer rubbed his head as they entered their vessel. "Why am I not surprised?" 'That does explain some of her fetishes…especially bondage.'

"Hey, you're the one who's with her. Or is she the one who wears the pants?" South asked, a hint of, 'I'm using your answer as blackmail material' in her tone. Reach snorted, glad his helmet could hide the redness of his face. "I'm not saying a damn thing about my sex life." 'Why the hell did Doc ask Tex that earlier? I'm pretty sure it was a purely medical question, but I want to know for sure. When I get a chance, I'll ask her.'

"Yeah, I think she's in charge," Grif piped up. "From what I've heard, she wears the pants for sure." Reach growled in annoyance, lashing out with his arm and striking the chubby orange soldier in the stomach, making him double over. "Thanks for that. Now I'm never going to hear the end of it." 'Wait, since when the hell did I suddenly care so damn much? I thought I didn't mind her being top.'

Grif started to rub his stomach, and Reach let out a sigh. "I'll let you have that damn porn we stole from Tucker, as long as you don't tell anyone else about it." 'If he does, Tex gets to have her favorite guinea pig for her experiments.'

"What about the beer?"

"Fine, you can have the fucking beer. It looks like shit anyway." Reach gave the case a stare as he placed the weapons on the nearest table, unwrapping a new model of the Battle Rifle. "I think I'm going to give up drinking crappy beer. I prefer stronger and better liquor for when the Meta decides to turn up." 'Good thing Sarge and I have enough moonshine to last us a few months.'

"Jeez, talk about taking all the fun out of life," Grif muttered, walking away with the beer in his hands. He entered his room, only to poke his head out. "Um, sir? I think someone was in my room. It smells God awful; can I borrow that black light you guys have?"

The red/black Freelancer face-palmed, letting out a breath to control himself. "Just turn on your helmet's enhancement…we installed that two days ago." 'Who the hell would want to go in Grif's room? Kakiana or Simmons, maybe? But what the hell would they want with this slob's room, apart from food and stale beer?' Grif ducked back in, and after a few seconds he let out a scream of anger and horror. "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN HERE!?"

Reach and South exchanged a glance, and they both stepped into Grif's room, and Reach's face flushed as the smell reached his nostrils through his helmet filters. 'It…smells like sex. I hope Maine still has those stupid DNA testers we snagged before we left Blood Gulch.' "Well…someone was having a good time. Too good of one."

He turned to South, who was trying very hard to keep herself from laughing as Grif tried to furiously wipe up bodily fluids from his sheets. "Get one of those DNA tests…I want to know who did this." 'My money's on either Tex or Kakiana.'

"Why, you want to hit them?"

"No. I want to give them a medal and possibly a promotion for somehow making Grif's room slightly less lonely."

South bit back a snicker, and she walked away, giving the room a final stare. "Got it. I think Maine kept them in his drawer. Try and call Tex to see if she knows anything about this." Reach grunted, and he opened up a private COM channel. "Tex, it's me. Grif's room smells as though someone was having way too much fun with themselves. Would you happen to know anything about it?"

"For once, it wasn't me. Sister and I got separated on our way to Engineering, and I've been busy with your new jellyfish friend. Blame her," the blonde Freelancer replied. "She was probably thinking about Tucker or something; that girl has some shitty taste. And if she was thinking about you, her ass is dead."

"You and me both, Allison," Reach sighed. "I'll bet you anything you want that she was thinking about someone other than Tucker. I'll place my bets on an orgy of some kind, and if I win, I'm calling top this time; I'm already tired of getting shit from South, Maine, and Eta about you being dominant."

"Aww, I thought you liked it~," Tex protested. "I recall you really enjoying it when I was straddling your waist and biting~. Or am I wrong~?" The black/red Freelancer put his hand to his face, rubbing the side of his helmet. "Just shake on the damn bet…metaphorically speaking, of course." 'South was right. We really don't get paid enough for this.'

"Fine~. But if I win…let's just say you're in for something different~. I'll see you in a minute, Adam~." Tex let out a seductive purr, and several lewd (and, he admitted rather grudgingly, arousing) images played before Reach's brown eyes as South reappeared, one of the DNA testers in hand. 'Bondage? Wait, what the fuck? Why is there one where she's got the damn cat ears? I thought we left those behind in Blood Gulch. And…is that a fake tail?'

'Just what the fuck do I think about when it's something perverted and dealing with Allison? And now she just said, "Mreow, bitch~". That does it; I need a drink.' Reach walked away, heading down to the cafeteria to search the freezer for Sarge's moonshine that the two of them made. "Tell me when that shit's done; I'm making myself a Georgia Tea."

"Sure," the dark blue Freelancer mumbled, entering Grif's messy room. Reach entered the cafeteria, and he saw both Simmons and Tucker (who had finally gotten himself back to the ship) talking with Sarge. "Hey Sarge…do we still have to do drills? I mean, we're in the middle of nowhere and about to be murdered by some mutated asshole with giant weapons."

"Damn right, Private," Sarge barked. "I want your asses in top shape. If this Meta or Massachusetts comes sniffing around, then you don't want to get your asses beaten senseless again, do you?" Tucker let his head crash onto the table, his shoulders slumped. "We seem to have a reoccurring theme of getting our asses kicked by women around here. Man, this is fucked up. I haven't even gotten a chance to be between Sister's legs yet!"

"Then what are you waiting for~!?" Sister yelled from her room, and the aqua soldier immediately jumped up and sped out, whooping. "Fuck yes!" Reach rolled his eyes, and he pulled off his helmet before opening up the freezer, pulling out the bottle of moonshine. "I can't believe this crap…" 'It's just been one thing after another…'

'Wash…I hope you're a quicker healer.'

A/N: Next up, there will be TuckerxSister smut! I did think about making him screw a female Elite, but my editor and his girlfriend beat some sense into me XD. Now, I'll admit it…this smut will be quite graphic compared to the other ones, and we'll see a bit of Wash's POV after that. Until then, I'll be going to strawberry fields (extra points for those who get the reference). See you!