Chapter 17
Tuesday, it had been planned that Sully, Amanda and Hannah would spend the day together and teach the young woman some necessary things like how to make a fire only with things that could be found outside, the proper way to look for water and berries and how to built a simple shelter. Sully had insisted on doing so because they would be only two people on the expedition and if they were to be separated, both of them had to be able to survive by themselves. However, that morning, a soft but steady rain had set in and the adults had agreed that it would be better for Hannah to stay in town. Surprisingly, the little girl hadn't protested after she had learned that she would spend the time first with Uncle Chris at school and the rest of the day with her ma.
At school, the little girl had helped carry the slates and slate pencils into the classroom and then she had been allowed to leaf through her favorite book, the one with the colored pictures. Chris had to smile to himself when he heard her tell the tales with her own words, adding something every time she came to another picture; and watching her gave him an idea for the perfect birthday present.
In the evening, Chris, Michaela and Hannah waited at the homestead for Sully and Amanda to return; they had been due back almost two hours ago and since the little girl had been hungry, they had already eaten their supper. Suddenly, the door burst open and an excited Amanda and a smiling Sully entered the room. The young woman rushed to her fiancé to give him a firm kiss on his lips, and then she took a seat at the other side of the table. Still smiling, Sully greeted Michaela and his daughter with a nod and, "Evenin'!" before sitting down next to Amanda. He was satisfied, things had gone much better with Amanda than he had expected after their first encounter. The young woman had been eager to learn and had done her job very well.
Chris chuckled, "It seems you had a great time out there, Mandy."
"Oh, it was great, I could now get lost anywhere and would survive for sure; Sully is a really great teacher."
At this moment, Sully became aware that his two women hadn't said a word yet and asked them expectantly, "So, how's your day been?"
His daughter's answer was to climb on Chris' lap and pat his hand that lie on the table, "We good day."
As Michaela felt them turn to her, she frowned. "I've been busy at the clinic."
Silence hang over the table until Sully and Amanda resumed a conversation that had obviously been only interrupted by their arrival at the homestead. Seeing this and noticing the tired and disappointed look on Michaela's face, Chris remarked, "You work too hard, Dr. Mike, you should take a break."
Michaela only shrugged. "Of course that would be nice, but…"
The teacher suddenly had an idea and didn't let her finish, "Since the two of them," he pointed with his head in his fiancée's and Sully's direction, "have fun, we could have our own. Amanda brought a newspaper from Denver and in there, they announced a theatre performance, I think it was one of Shakespeare's plays. It takes place this Saturday; we could stay afterwards and spend the day in Denver." As he said this, he felt the little girl tense up. "Of course, you would come with us, honey." He smiled down at her.
Hearing that she wouldn't be left alone, Hannah instantly relaxed again and her curiosity was aroused. "What theatre?"
Chris contemplated how to explain it. "Hmm, let's see. When someone tells or reads you a story, you make yourself a picture in your head about how the people look like, how their voices sound and then you can see them when you close your eyes, right?"
When Hannah nodded, he continued, "If you see a play in the theatre, you watch people who are dressed like the figures in the story and they walk around and do all the things that are described. When I read a story to you, you can hear it, but in a theatre, you can watch the story. Do you understand?"
Hannah nodded wide-eyed. "Whole stowy?"
Chris smiled down at the astonished little face. Expressions like this one were what had motivated him to become a teacher. He loved the moment when he could see in a child's eyes that a seed of knowledge had been planted, one that he knew would only grow with time. "Yes, honey, the entire story."
Sully had stopped talking to Amanda when he heard the teacher make his suggestion. He saw the fleeting expression of desire in Michaela's eyes. He silently cursed to himself that such an idea had never occurred to him and he was suddenly aware that he had never made any effort to do something special for and with her; instead he had taught a stranger the things Michaela might want to know as well.
He didn't know yet that he would regret this only a few weeks later.
Meanwhile, the doctor was contemplating her reply to Chris' offer. Actually, she hadn't thought about such a kind of entertainment since she had left Boston. She suddenly felt the longing to be dressed up for an occasion such as a visit to a theatre, to sit in a dimmed lit room and listen to the voices of the actors… But her daughter's voice brought her back to reality. "We go, ma?"
Taking a deep breath, she declined the invitation. "I would love to go to the theatre again, but even if I found another doctor to stand in for me here in such short notice, I couldn't do that. But I thank you for the offer whole-heartedly, Chris, it was a nice idea." She gave him a quick smile and began to take the plates from the table.
But Hannah didn't let it go yet, she thought it might be exciting to go with her ma and her friend to a new place. "Why not?"
Michaela sighed. "It wouldn't be proper, sweetheart. I'm an unmarried woman and Uncle Chris is engaged, it wouldn't be proper."
The teacher, however, didn't want to give up so easily, he had been able to read her facial expression as well. "Come on, Dr. Mike, we can tell them this is my thank you for saving my foot since you refuse to take any money for your medical treatment."
Michaela glanced at Sully before she directed her response towards Chris. "People are looking at me more closely since they read the article. If I left town with you, there would be new gossip. I can't afford that. No one will consult a doctor who doesn't act the way people expect her to."
Amanda wouldn't believe what she heard, how could this woman be such a coward? "That's ridiculous; everyone has the right to a personal life."
Michaela said quietly, "I agree Miss Miller, but unfortunately in a little town like ours, you can't act as if you don't care about the other's opinions. If it hadn't been for your fiancé, who stood up for me in front of all of the townspeople and made them see that words don't become true only because they are written, I might still have only a handful of patients."
Amanda muttered under her breath, "It's still ridiculous." before she directed her attention towards Sully again. "So, when will you show me how to build a cozy lean-to like yours?"
The crash of a breaking plate stopped him from answering that question. Michaela quickly stooped down to pick up the pieces; she didn't want the others to see the red blush of embarrassment on her cheeks or the hurt she felt. She had asked Sully a few times where he slept, but he had never told her, let alone shown her.
Everyone in the room had seen the color on her face though. Sully was puzzled; he couldn't imagine what was wrong. Hannah grew angry with the new lady, as she called her, and Chris was concerned. He remembered Dr. Mike's reaction when Sully had first suggested that he would make the trip with Amanda. Maybe it had been a mistake to agree, the last thing he wanted was for Dr. Mike to feel uncomfortably.
Only Amanda found the situation amusing; she had been right! Maybe Michaela was a good doctor, but God was she prude! With a mischief glint in her eyes, she decided to tease her a little. "Sully, we still have to talk about the things we will take with us. Do you have a bedroll? If you do, I wouldn't need mine."
Amanda quickly turned towards Michaela to gauge her reaction, but her gaze only met the other woman's back.
Sully still didn't know where this was leading and instantly replied, "Both of us will take his or her own bedroll…" but Amanda wasn't done yet. "I thought you knew the rule: mountaineers share a bedroll; when it's freezing at night, the best way to keep you warm is to share your companion's body heat."
Chris knew the expression on his fiancée's face: she wanted to have fun at other people's expense. This was one of her traits he didn't like and he especially didn't like it right now. "That's enough, Amanda!" He didn't even have to raise his voice; she knew he meant business when he used her full first name.
Rolling her eyes she conceded, "Alright, alright, I'm just kidding. We will sleep with a proper space between us."
Sully glared at the woman beside him. "That ain't funny!" He rose from his chair to step to Michaela; he needed to assure her that nothing would happen on this trip that she had to fear.
However, his daughter's voice stopped him dead in his tracks. At this moment, the little girl had decided it was time for her plan, though first she had to be absolutely sure and so she asked her father, "You go way?"
Sully turned to his daughter, startled by the serious tone in the little voice. "Yes I do, but not right away, only in a couple of days, sweet girl. You can come with us tomorrow, we will be in the woods all day, how does that sound?"
Hannah had stopped listening after she had heard the word "yes". She climbed down from her big friend's lap, positioned herself next to his chair, took one of his large hands in hers and looked up in the friendly face. She had practised the words many times, so they came out clearly. "Wanna be my pa?"
Amanda laughed out loud, "What a nice idea, it seems you got yourself a little admirer, Chris," but no one paid any attention to her.
Sully and Michaela, who had turned towards the group again, looked at their daughter, both too surprised to speak. Chris, who had come to get to know the little girl quite well because they had spent a lot of time together not only reading but talking as well, knew that this was one of the most difficult situations he had ever been in. He silently prayed that he would find the right words. "Honey, you already have a pa."
Hannah had anticipated such kind of answer, that's why she now scampered to her cot and lifted the pillow to take an item from underneath it. Michaela paled as she recognized Flying Sun's dream catcher and Sully let out a loud breath. He didn't know what to expect and tried to stop his daughter from continuing what ever she was up to. "Hannah…"
The little girl shot him a look she must have learned from her mother and turned to Chris as if her father hadn't said anything. "He other family too. Indian."
At this moment, Michaela's heart broke for the little girl; obviously she not only remembered what they had told her when Sully had left for the hunting parties but the kiss between Sully and the Indian woman as well, maybe even the time before when he had left them to follow the Indians into their winter camp. Taking a step in her daughter's direction, she gently started to speak, "Sweetheart…"
Hannah, however, directed her sad eyes at her mother and shook her head, "I want pa for home."
Amanda regarded the mountain man with new curiosity. She began to understand Dr. Mike's insecurities a little. If Sully had a wife somewhere else …, but hadn't he said that he wasn't married? Maybe the Indians had other traditions… She couldn't stop herself from asking, "You have an Indian wife, the one that tamed you?"
When Sully glared at her with knitted eyebrows, she murmured, suddenly embarrassed, "Was just a question."
Hannah squeezed Chris hand to gain his attention again and reiterated her question, "Wanna be my pa?"
The man stroked the little girl's long blond locks with his free hand and sighed, "Honey…"
Finally, Sully reacted. He went to his daughter and crouched down next to her. Tentatively, he touched her arm. "I'm sorry, sweet girl. I'm sorry I've left you so often but I really try to be with you as much as I can."
Sully was surprised when he saw no anger but only love for him in Hannah's eyes as she responded, "I know, potant go."
Sully nodded but actually, he began to doubt if climbing a peak was important enough to leave her again. On the other hand, he knew that he would have to leave from time to time and Hannah had to learn to accept that. "Right, sweet girl, sometimes I will have to leave you even when I'd rather stay with you."
Hannah laid her little hand on her father's shoulder and assured him, "I know. You pa in woods, Uncle Kiss pa in home."
Sully suddenly felt a huge lump in his throat that made it difficult to breathe not to mention to speak when he realized that his daughter had decided to give up on him.
Sensing, that the men were at a loss for what to do, Michaela knew that it was her turn now. She had waited silently because she knew that this was Sully's battle but it became obvious that he needed help.
"Sweetheart…"
Hannah's eyes flew to her mother; she knew that she understood her. "I two mas, one in heaven and you."
Of course Michaela understood the child's logic, so she nodded and stooping down, she beckoned her into her arms. "Sweetheart, come here, please."
The little girl immediately complied. After Michaela had straightened with her daughter in her arms, she tried to find the right words to get through to her. "You know that I'm only your ma because your other ma can't be there for you, do you?"
The child nodded and replied, "Pa way a lot, too."
Michaela tightened her embrace a little. "Well, you might be right, but he will always come back to you." When Hannah didn't react yet, the mother knew that she needed more reassurance.
"Sweetheart, you know that I would have to leave you if your other ma came back, right?" When she saw the shock on the little face, she hastily assured, "But that will never happen, I promise." She continued only after she felt her girl's body relax again. "It would be the same for your pa though, if you had another one here at home, he couldn't come back to you anytime he wanted because this wouldn't be his home anymore. And you still want him to come back, don't you?"
Hannah nodded tentatively, but there was still one question open, "Why he two family and I no two pas?"
Michaela momentarily closed her eyes. How could she answer such a question when she didn't know Sully's intentions herself? The situation for the little family would become more complicated after Easter when school started. Colleen wouldn't be able to help in the mornings, Charlotte never knew when she was available and the mercantile was out of the question since Dorothy Jennings lived there. And Chris, who had helped her out so often lately would start his job. Normally, the father should be the person she could rely on, but she couldn't be sure if he would be there because she knew that, whenever the Indians called for him, he would go and this brought her back to Hannah's question. At last, she managed to say, "For your father this is a difficult situation. He owes his Indian family his life and that's why he owes them now his help whenever it is needed. Do you understand that?" Although the little girl tentatively nodded, Michaela could tell that she wasn't convinced yet, so she added, "But you have heard him, he will be with you as often as he can and I'm absolutely sure that Uncle Chris will be happy if he may be your friend and a good friend is almost as important as a pa."
The little girl turned towards Chris. "You stay fiend? Read and talk?"
The young man rose and stepped towards mother and daughter. Taking Hannah's little hands in his, he squeezed them gently, "I feel honored that I may be your friend and it will be my pleasure to be with you whenever I can."
A tentative smile crept into the blue eyes. "Thank, Uncle Kiss." Then Hannah turned back to look at her mother, the eyes filled with tears now. "I luv you, ma." As Michaela felt the little arms around her neck and the moisture on her cheeks she couldn't hold back her own tears any longer, "And I love you, Sweetheart." She swallowed hard in an effort to gain her composure again. "How about, we go to the outhouse now and then I'll tuck you in and you may make a wish for your bedtime story?"
Hannah suddenly felt exhausted and tired. Leaning her head against her mother's chest, she murmured, "Uncle Kiss stowy, please."
Michaela glanced at him and he instantly assured, "It will be my pleasure."
After mother and daughter had left the room, an awkward silence fell over the room. Chris knew he had to have a serious conversation with Amanda who still sat at the table and couldn't understand how grown up people made such a fuss because of a little girl. Sully stood forlornly in the middle of the room; he had the feeling that he was a stranger in his own house. Actually, he began to see the relationship between Michaela, his daughter and the teacher with new eyes, their mutual understanding was a little too good for his taste and he didn't like that. He really needed to talk to Michaela and followed his two women outside.