Disclaimer: none of this belongs to me. there I said it.
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I always thought that maybe, just maybe, it might get a bit easier, but as always, I was wrong. I remember a time, when he not being around was a blessing; when it was all I looked forward to, so I could be alone with Sasuke. Somewhere along the way that changed, somewhere I began to notice him, to see him as who he is, not as who I thought he was. My heart nearly broke in the hospital, seeing him all hurt, partly because of me, and all he would do was to say that he would still keep his promise. I think he would go get Sasuke anyway, but I know I play a role in that as well.
These last few months have been eye openers, I'm learning things I never thought I would, yet not all of it has been good. I know about Itachi now and I know that he is the reason why Sasuke left, and why Naruto left as well. Amazing how one man could have sown such chaos and not even been around for it.
There's something else that's been an eye opener. Naruto not being around has shown me a lot about myself. I never realized how much I simply counted on his inane jokes and declarations till they weren't there; how much of a bright spot he played in my life till he was gone from it. Even before he left, I knew that I had begun to care for him in ways I never thought I could. Yet his leaving, his not being around prevented me from seeing where it would go, and has been almost heartbreaking. I sit around and day-dream sometimes about what he's doing, what he's learning. I wonder what he'll look like, I wonder if he'll still find me cute and still call me Sakura-chan.
As for Sasuke… I still want him back. I'll still get him back with Naruto, he is one of my precious people but it's not like it used to be. I'm not the same girl and he's far and away from being the same boy he was, if he was ever who I thought he was. However, he is still my comrade and I'll never give up till we get him back so we can be a team again.
And that still has me coming back to Naruto… just what does he mean to me, what do I even mean to him? My chest gets tight, when I think that he might have forgotten me for even a second; that he might have found someone else to shower his affection on. On the other hand, when he does come back I'm not sure I'm ready for anything. My heart was shattered and a part of me is afraid of that happening again even though I know he would never hurt me if he could help it. But soon he'll be back and soon I'll have a chance to find out what this all means. Soon we'll have a chance to get back the one who is lost, and then with my precious people around me again I'll be able to move forward. It may still be a hard road to follow but sometimes I remember there's a light at the end… even if he is blond.
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As you can tell this takes place just before Naruto part 2 starts up, now i'm going to rewirte his reasons and maybe start the 3 part of this, and this time in a much shorter period of time.