Chapter 6 - First Steps
The first thing Aerith became aware of was a loud murmuring in the back of her mind from the planet. It was a constant throb, aggravating a splitting headache that was quickly forming behind her eyes.
"So loud...," she murmured.
"You will have to adapt to the enhanced hearing."
Aerith cringed at the horrifically loud voice before opening her eyes. Immediately she winced and slapped an arm over her eyes, shielding them from the blinding light from above. She laid there, as minutes ticked by. Slowly, the whispers decreased in volume, and the blinding light spilling around her arms dimmed...
There was a loud pattering of feet before a calm voice addressed her. "Ancient, we have things to discuss."
That voice...
Aerith lowered her arm from her eyes, squinting, and making out...
She flinched to see Sephiroth staring down at her with a masked face. He frowned briefly at her reaction before beginning to pace around the table. The notion of him pacing immediately had her mind sent back to him reading and pacing around in the Nibelheim Mansion's basement library, delving into madness. Her eyes reflexively looked around, spotting Vincent leaning against the wall in a corner, watching the two of them passively.
"Ancient," said Sephiroth, his voice holding a hint of command to it.
She sat up and forced herself to meet his gaze. "My name is Aerith."
He narrowed his eyes at her. "I am not inclined to deign you a name at the moment, Ancient."
She stiffened, confused and alarmed at the anger he was showing towards her.
"At what point, Ancient, were you planning on informing us of your plans on becoming a SOLDIER?" inquired Sephiroth, his tone sharp.
Aerith opened her mouth to speak before hesitating and closing it. Ut oh...
"Had it not occurred to you, Ancient, that SOLDIER is MY responsibility?" he asked, "That every single new SOLDIER that enters into the program is not only weighted and approved by the science department, testers, instructors, other SOLDIERS, and the director, but by myself, Genesis, or Angeal as well?"
"I... didn't exactly know that," she admitted.
"That is not an excuse, not for you and my mother, and especially not for the Turks," said Sephiroth thinly, "They, and you, overstepped your bounds. You claimed for yourself what cadets must struggle to attain through a rigorous training and studying regime."
"W-well, Angeal escorted me here," she squeaked out.
"He escorted you to the science department, with no knowledge of what reason you were here for, do not try to pass blame onto others like a child," rebuked Sephiroth.
"I'm not a child!" she retorted.
"Then don't act like one," he all but snarled.
She went very silent at that.
Sephiroth looked her over, almost with contempt. "You bear not an ounce of muscle on you. Have you ever had physical training? Do you even know how to wield a weapon?"
"I... know how to use a staff," she answered a bit weakly.
Sephiroth deadpanned. "A staff? No SOLDIER uses a staff, it is not a weapon fitting our 'trade'."
He slowly shook his head. "Do you have any comprehension, Ancient, of a military lifestyle? Do you understand the chain of command? Obeying rules, regulations, and orders? The rigors, discipline, and duties required of you?"
Aerith felt like she was withering under the intensity of his glare. "W-well... no."
"So, to reiterate. Not only did you bypass the normal cadet process, but you know nothing about what is required of a SOLDIER. You have had no training, and thus are unable to even fulfill the most basic of duties of a SOLDIER," said Sephiroth.
Aerith could do nothing but bow her head. "..."
"I expect an answer," ordered Sephiroth.
"Y-yes, that's correct," she answered very quietly.
"And I expect you to look me in the eye when you give it," he ordered.
Aerith gulped a little, forcing herself to meet his gaze. "Yes, that's correct."
A shiver ran down her spine as they locked eyes. She was starting to become uncomfortably familiar with that unnatural catlike piercing gaze, like he was staring into the depths of her souls and searching for lies or excuses.
Seeming satisfied, he began pacing again. "For what reason, Ancient, did you become a SOLDIER? Angeal has a benevolent notion as to why, but Genesis seems to think you may have played us to grab power while we were busy."
"W-what?!" she all but exclaimed, "That's not true!"
He came to stand in front of the table. "Then what reason did you take the power of SOLDIER for your own?"
She pursed her lips, feeling her temper flare, she could not help but glare at him. "Do you think I wanted this? Wanted to have the lifestream of the planet so unnaturally infused into my body? Wanted to commit this sin?"
He locked his gaze with her, his eyes narrowed, but she did not back down. "I would have rather gone back to my old life. Tending to flowers in the slums, trying to make the lives of those who lived in that awful place better. Instead, I became a SOLDIER because I couldn't afford to risk letting things play out as they did before!"
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "Before?"
Aerith went perfectly still, pissed at her screw up, before she lied. "In the visions."
Sephiroth lips curled into an almost smug smile. "I see."
Planet... why did she have the awful feeling that he might see right through her? But... he was said to have been a man of intelligence and logic before madness and Jenova took him. Surely he wouldn't come to the conclusion of time travel and actually accept it?
Right?
Sephiroth didn't give her any indication of an answer, instead, he cleared his throat, his face going back to it's normal calm and detached look. "So, you do not believe that myself, Angeal, and Genesis can handle this? That we can't prevent our own grim fates from playing out as they were destined to?"
"It's not a matter of belief," she answered, "I cannot risk it. There are no second chances."
And she damn well meant it. The fail-safe could not be triggered again for the next few thousand years. If this went wrong, it was over, period.
"I see," said Sephiroth, "I suppose then you need to be made aware of just what you have foolishly thrown yourself into without any thought as to the consequences."
He walked over to the door, or rather, a table next to it that had a few cans of what looked like soda of all things, a prosthetic hand, and a few other weird items. She was confused as to why those things were there to begin with.
She stared, baffled, as Sephiroth picked up a can of soda. "You must be thirsty, Ancient, catch."
He tossed it to her, and she grabbed it out of the air...
Only for it to burst as her hand crumpled the can with ease, spraying her completely.
She blinked a few times, her mouth gaping open in disbelief, before she glared full force at Sephiroth. "What the heck was that for? Some prank can to get even? You call ME childish?"
"It was to show your lack of understanding on just what you have attained," he said simply, "There was no tampering, that was a normal can of soda out of a vending machine. You crushed it like it was paper."
Aerith frowned, glancing down at her hands and the crumpled can. "I don't..."
"Here, shake this," said Sephiroth, walking over with the prosthetic hand.
Aerith hesitated, uncertainty playing across her face. She reached out and grabbed the hand...
CRUNCH
Aerith winced as she crushed it, easily, without even trying to. "Umm..."
"SOLDIERs hold within them superhuman strength," explained Sephiroth before his voice grew critical, "Do you have any concept of how difficult it is to not harm normal people when we interact with them? How much control we must maintain?"
Aerith was silent, her thoughts drifting back to Meteorfall and the times she had watched Cloud from the lifestream. Was it really that difficult? He had made it seem all so easy...
"The answer is: of course not," said Sephiroth with exasperation.
"A pat on the back could dislocate a shoulder and send a person flying. A simple hug could crush someone's lungs and break all their ribs. A hand shake, as you saw, could crush their hand with ease," he said critically and slowly, as if she were an incompetent child needing things spelt out.
"What's more, this extends to everyday objects. You could easily rip a door off it's hinges when you try to open it. You could crush an elevator button when you go to press for a floor. You could rip important documents with the slightest twitch of your fingers. You could break keyboards and mice used for computers with the most minuscule increase in pressure," he continued.
He levied his gaze at her, hard. "Or, in your case. The flowers you tend to inside that church in sector five, you could destroy them with the slightest touch if not careful."
Aerith grew uneasy. "How do you know about..."
"I made it my business to know everything about you, Ancient, when you barged into my world," said Sephiroth, his voice thin, "The Turks were not given a choice but to disclose full information to me."
Aerith felt sweat slip down her forehead at that. He knew everything about her life that the Turks knew. That also meant he knew about mom, but... being sane... he wouldn't hurt her, would he? To get at her if she crossed him?
Wait a second...
Mom!
Aerith was briefly flabbergasted at the notion that she could go and see her mother again, in the flesh.
Sephiroth commandeered her attention. "To make my point, Ancient. You must maintain a flower's touch."
"A... flower's touch?" she echoed, finding the statement curious, and odd, especially from him.
Sephiroth hesitated briefly. "It was an... attempt to relate to what you know and make you understand. You would not wish to harm your... flowers... correct?"
She nodded, trying to figure out where he was going with this.
"Then you must maintain the same touch you would give them with everything else, save when your true stength as a SOLDIER is required. Do you understand?" he inquired.
She hesitated briefly before nodding again.
When he grew silent, and nothing further was said, she studied him. Noting him watching her, appearing to be waiting for something. She hesitated, was he... expecting an apology or something? Or would that just 'seem childish'?
She closed her eyes for a moment, took a breath, and let it out. "Sephiroth..."
She opened her eyes and met his. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry I went around you and your process like this. It wasn't my intention to cause trouble, but prevent it. I'm sorry if this is causing... problems or something, with how things work. However..."
She grew a bit forceful. "I do not regret the act in itself. I HAVE to be strong enough in case something goes wrong. This goes beyond Shinra, beyond the rules you and those who follow you live by. The planet does not care about most individuals or entities when compared to it's own death via Jenova."
"Though, it is very unhappy with the mako continually being bled out of it by the reactors," she added in.
There was a slight arching of his eyebrows at that, but otherwise, Sephiroth did not respond.
She narrowed her eyes a bit. "I'm willing to earn my keep, and prove myself to SOLDIER, but only in regards to helping people or countering any threat Jenova or Hojo may create. I will not be some thug the President can use to hurt people and force obedience. I will NEVER take an innocent life, so you can forget about me ever stepping foot in Wutai as part of the war."
Sephiroth regarded her silently, his eyes furrowed in thought.
"Joining SOLDIER may not be necessary," said Vincent from his corner.
Aerith glanced over at him. "Huh?"
"Veld has made it clear that he is willing to argue to the President on your behalf to stay with the Turks as a... special agent... akin to what I am, in a sense," offered Vincent.
There was an odd sound all of the sudden, and it took Aerith a second to register it as leather tightening. Her eyes flickered to Sephiroth's hands turning into closed fists, his eyes narrowing at Vincent. At that, Aerith knew her choice had been already made. That if she took the offer, she would never win SOLDIERs loyalty. Not to mention she'd agitate the hell out of the trio and probably lose any chance of gaining their trust. She was a little moved that the Turks still wanted to look out for her, but this wasn't about her. This was about doing whatever it took to prevent a tragedy, one that Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis were at the core of. Without doing everything in her power to keep them sane and out of Jenova's clutches, she'd be dooming the world to re-suffer it's fate.
"Tell Veld I appreciate the offer, but my decision to join SOLDIER stands," she said, before hesitating and looking at Sephiroth, "If SOLDIER will have me."
Sephiroth regarded her, a curious look in his eyes, his hands slowly relaxing. "Stand."
She did so, pushing off the table...
SCREECH!
She winced as her little 'push' sent the operating table scraping along the floor.
Sephiroth sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Restraint will have to be one of the first things you are taught."
He began to pace around her. "I will be frank. An Ancient SOLDIER is something that has never occurred before, for obvious reasons. You have the potential to become a valuable asset within SOLDIER. I will not lie however. I read the Turk's file on you, they note you lack in strength, endurance, and agility, all three are key parts of a SOLDIER. Your body is young, untempered, untrained, you will need to be heavily conditioned. There will be no favors played, or special privileges given to you, regardless of your status as a Ancient or as a female. I hold doubts that young woman, barely into her teenage years, will find it easy to adjust."
She was about to retort that she was a full-grown woman before it actually registered in her mind that he was right. This was before she had met Zack in the original way of things. Planet, how old WAS her body right now? Twelve? Thirteen? A wave of uncertainty hit her, should she have waited until she was older? Another two years or so and she might have joined up when Cloud did and helped him actually make it into SOLDIER this time. She felt a pang at that, she would have been glad, very glad, to have him here with her. Even... if like Zack... he didn't know her anymore.
Though, she remembered wanting to get to know the true Cloud.
Perhaps she'd get her chance this time around.
"Are you dissuaded?" inquired Sephiroth.
Aerith blinked a few times. "No, umm... just thinking that I probably did jump the gun a bit... how old are most people when they try to join SOLDIER?"
"Fifteen," he answered.
Oh well, to late.
"So then, you wish to make the commitment, to become a SOLDIER?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered.
"Yes what?" he asked.
She stared at him blankly. "Umm..."
He sighed. "Proper protocol will need to be taught to you as well. When addressing a superior office, 'sir' is an appropriate identifier to use."
"Oh, umm... yes sir!" she said, and recalling something she had seen before, she tried to salute...
Only for to wince as her hand smacked into her head way harder than she thought it would.
She didn't know if it was exasperation or amusement that danced between his eyes before he turned to the door. "Come. I will escort you to your quarters, try not to break anything on the way there."
She bid Vincent goodbye and followed Sephiroth out of the Science Department. She chose to stand directly behind him, following in his footsteps, and not accidentally knocking into something. A short elevator ride later, Sephiroth led her into the SOLDIER floor and down the hall, passing a few other SOLDIERS. Most did a double take and looked her over, stopping to glance at her eyes...
Oh right, SOLDIERs glowed with Mako eyes. It had to be more than apparent of what she had become to them, and to her knowledge, there had been no female SOLDIERs... or... was that true?
She rubbed her forehead, feeling a little dizzy and her mind a little cloudy. For a moment, she thought she saw the image of a woman in crimson, and a young girl with twin blades, before it slipped away from her...
"You will be placed within one of our 3rd class rooms," said Sephiroth, "You will, of course, start from the bottom of SOLDIER and work your way up. For the time being, you will spend the rest of the day resting."
She was taken aback. "Resting? But I could be trying to train and adjust instead..."
Sephiroth glanced back at her briefly. "Most SOLDIERs are given, at bare minimum, a day of recovery after their initial mako injections, to allow the side effects to properly work themselves out. As an Ancient, I am unsure what exactly that would entail for you, as such, I'm not taking any chances for my men or instructors you may be placed with. You will rest in your room for at bare minimum twenty-four hours, unless escorted to the cafeteria to eat. Are we clear, SOLDIER?"
Aerith blinked a few times before nodding. "Yes sir."
"I've taken the liberty of placing you with more... reliable bunkmates, ones I have belive hold less of a risk of... indecent actions against a female," said Sephiroth in a careful tone, "It will be the only courtesy I give you."
"Bunkmates?" questioned Aerith uneasily.
"SOLDIERs do not earn the right to their own room until 1st class," said Sephiroth, "You will have to get used to it. You can work out the particulars with those who share the room, it's not my problem otherwise."
He led her to a door and paused at it. "At the earliest opportunity, change into a SOLDIER uniform, there will be spares stored in the room. You are not a civilian anymore, and should dress as what you are."
She nodded and stared at the door for a moment before asking something she figured she should have asked the moment she woke up, "Sephiroth... did you find Hojo?"
Sephiroth paused, his hand on the doorknob, and forced out a forcibly calm, "No."
With that, he pushed open the door and motioned for Aerith to walk in. She did, and then froze in the doorway, her eyes laying on one Zack Fair sitting on a bunk talking to another SOLDIER.
She paled a bit, feeling her nerves fraying. She turned her head back to try and argue with Sephiroth, but the door was already closing.
THUD
The moment it closed, Zack and the other SOLDIER turned to glance at the door, and then at her. "Oh, hey miss Ancient lady!"
They locked eyes for a moment, and Zack gave a start, his eyes going wide at the sight of hers. Aerith could do nothing but lower her gaze to the floor, unable to bring herself to look at her former love, who didn't know her, who had suffered so much but who had not gone through that pain now.
"Uh...," said Zack, a bit surprised, "Your eyes are glowing... I guess you're our new roommate?"
"Yes," she answered very quietly.
Zack scratched the back of his head. "How'd that happen?"
She shrugged, finding it hard to work up the words to even talk to him.
Zack pointed to the bunk at the back of the room, farthest from the door. "Erm... spare bed is over there."
Aerith walked over and sat down. "..."
Planet... why had Sephiroth stuck her in here with him? Did... did he understand what this would do to her?
She could have scowled as the answer hit her.
Of course he did. Angeal had probably told him all about her 'little episode' when she encountered Zack. Sephiroth obviously wanted her to confront her past in order to move forward. And while the idea WAS probably a good idea, as she couldn't freak out and run away from Zack every time she saw him, Sephiroth COULD have given her a bit of a warning...
She did acknowledge that Sephiroth was right in one regard. Zack would never lay a hand on her. She had lived long enough in the slums to know better than to assume people wouldn't try. She knew, considering how often she had went off alone, especially at night, that she was lucky she hadn't been beaten, killed, molested, or raped. Life in the slums was not a pleasant thing, no matter how much she tried to make the best of it. Though, when she thought about it, luck had nothing to do with it actually. Turks following her all the time were a very persuasive and deadly way to dissuade someone...
Crunch, thud thud thud...
Aerith flinched a little at the sounds barraging her ears. It was so... odd... to hear even the tiniest of sounds, like someone getting off a bed and walking over to... oh...
She tensed a little, sighting Zack's boots, she glanced up at him, hoping she didn't look as pale as she felt.
He offered a hand and gave her a smile. "Start over? Zack Fair, nice to meet you."
She stared at the hand, a soft sad smile on her face. Zack was still Zack, no matter where and when he was. She slowly reached out a hesitating hand and took his in hers, shaking it.
"Aerith Gainsborough," she managed to say evenly.
He thumbed behind him. "Smart alack over there is Kunsel, Kuns for short."
"I can introduce myself thank you very much," called over the other SOLDIER.
Aerith let go of Zack's hand and briefly looked around him at Kunsel. She vaguely remembered Zack, her Zack, telling her about an old friend named Kunsel. An intelligent man who never took his helmet off for some reason. Her Zack had said he was an incredible source of information to turn to if need be, and someone he had always been able to count on.
He gave her a tip of his helmet in greeting. "Pleasure to meet you miss Gainsborough."
"Aerith is fine," she said.
"So," said Zack, reclaiming her attention, a grin on his face, "First woman SOLDIER huh? You super excited or what?"
Aerith gave a weak shrug. "I... guess?"
Zack pouted. "Ah c'mon, it'll be awesome, trust me, SOLDIER is a lot of fun!"
That pout, oh how it brought a smile to her face to see it again. She couldn't help but giggle a little.
"Fun he says," said Kunsel, "It's supposed to be serious work, but this clown goofs off to much."
"Do not!" defended Zack.
"Umm, speaking of SOLDIER...," she began hesitatingly, "I was told I should change into a uniform?"
Zack walked over to a drawer and fished out a uniform. "Here ya go. Hope it fits."
He handed it over and pointed to a door. "Bathrooms there, it's first come first serve in the morning, so no complaining if I beat ya to it!"
"A smelly boy like you? Showering?" she teased before rushing for the door.
"I do not smell!" he answered with fake outrage, grabbing one of the pillows off her bead and tossing it at her fleeting form.
The pillow thudded against the door as she closed it with a loud thud. She winced a little and looked over the door, thankful she hadn't broken it on accident. She set down the uniform and started taking off her clothes...
RIP
She cringed as her clothes split a little. "Gosh... this enhanced strength is obnoxious..."
Back during Meteorfall, or even before it, 'holding back' had never been something she had to practice. She could freely admit, to compare to other women, she hadn't been physically strong, no where near Tifa, or even Yuffie. If anything, she had always had to try really hard when it came to physical combat with her staff. Trekking across the world with AVALANCHE, and especially on her own when she went for the Forgotten Capital, had been difficult...
She glanced down at the uniform she had been given with hesitation. She nudged it with a finger, and then carefully picked it up. It seemed to be made of much sturdier stuff than normal clothing. She gave it a careful yank on the sleeve of an arm, and was satisfied when it didn't rip. The clothing looked hefty, but, when she put it on it felt like nothing to her. She reached down and began putting on her boots. They were of a larger and heavier make then the boots she had worn during Meteorfall, and were a much different change to the sandals she had just been wearing.
She clomped around the bathroom a few times, trying to get used to the hefty footwear, before she put herself infront of a mirror...
She stared at herself silently, at the heavy green mako glow in her eyes. "There really is no going back now..."
She closed her eyes and sighed. "Who am I to complain? I'm lucky that I even got a second chance at life, to fix things, to give others a second chance as well. It's... what I had to do."
She paused briefly, remembering that she had forgotten Holy inside of her older clothing. She gently fished for it and pocketed it in her pants. She had to keep that safe and secure. It was her trump card, and had to always be with her. She also wanted it kept secret. Few people outside of the top of the Turks knew about it. She had to assume that Sephiroth had probably learned about it from them as well. She wanted to keep the list of people who knew about it as small as possible. She supposed that also extended to the pieces of Zirconde sleeping inside of her as well.
Aerith picked up her old clothes and turned to the door, hesitating a little. She slowly and carefully reached for the doorknob, tenderly turning it, and cautiously opened the door. When it didn't fly open and rip off it's hinges, she was satisfied. She returned to her bunk and sat down on it, placing her old clothes on the floor and sliding them under it. She'd give them back to her mom when she had the chance... oh how she wanted to see and hold Elmyra again...
"We're heading off to the VR room, wanna join us?" called over Zack.
Aerith shook her head. "No, I was told I was supposed to rest for twenty-four hours after I received my mako shots."
Zack nodded. "Oh yeah, I remember when I first got my shots, it was crazy for a little bit."
He gave her a curious look. "Though, your a lot more aware and active than most people who receive their boosters are."
He formed a teasing smile. "Maybe it's a girl thing."
Or, maybe it's because there was no Jenova in the mix, and as an half Ancient, she was more in-tune with the lifestream injected into her body.
She didn't say that to him though, she just gave him a small smile and then laid down. "Maybe."
"Alright, see ya later Aerith," said Zack.
"Bye," she offered quietly.
Once they were gone she sighed. "This... is going to take getting used to."
She thought about trying to sleep, only, the pattering of feet down the hall, the whispers she could also hear echoing... how did SOLDIERs sleep with their enhanced hearing? Gosh, people looked at their power and thought that was all there was to it, but she was quickly discovering aggravations to go with it. Maybe she'd get used to it... who knows...
She closed her eyes and massaged them. "Mmm..."
Her breathing slowed, and she found herself starting to doze off...
Until images started playing across her mind. "What..."
She grew baffled, and monumentally confused at the jumbled mess. It took her a moment to remember.
"Minerva," she whispered quietly and painfully.
She sat up in her bed, but didn't open her eyes. The Goddess had given her so many potential futures to see... as she faded into her soul. Yet... as Aerith sat there, trying to recollect what she had been shown, it all came out as a jumbled and distorted mess.
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Minerva... how am I supposed to use your gift? None of this makes sense... there's to many different outcomes. Trying to make figure out infinite possibilities... it just..."
Not to mention, the Goddess had just shown her endings, not what had led to them. She had a better grasp of the first few futures Minerva had shown her, some she gravitated towards, and others... others scared her...
The sound of her own voice calling Jenova 'Mother' terrified Aerith to the depths of her soul. She desperately wanted to know HOW that could have possibly happened so she could do everything in her power to prevent that. To become corrupted by Jenova, that she treated as her absolute worst case scenario. It would give the Calamity full access to her memories and knowledge of things that had happened. Not to mention a Ancient SOLDIER host...
On the other end of the spectrum. She had seen herself, with Zack, with children. She had wanted to see their faces...
Something like that, a happy ending, was what she wanted and... wait...
No, that wasn't...
Angeal, Genesis, and Cloud had apparently died in that outcome, and Sephiroth had gone insane, again.
She slowly opened her eyes. "That's not good enough for me. I... I want everyone to come out alive."
Maybe it was greedy of her, but dammit, she wanted things to turn out okay this time around! Even for Sephiroth, insanity was no fate that anyone should want.
Sephiroth...
She grew contemplative. It struck her as... bizarre... to see in some of the futures, that she appeared to have come to care for him, perhaps even love him. As she knew him in the future, and even now, she found that hard to believe... and yet... she had seen in these futures, the potential for great good in him. That last concrete vision she had seen, when she had escaped with Omega while Sephiroth had been forced to stay behind in a final stand, their lasts glances to one another, it... had moved her.
She laid back down and stared up at the ceiling. "Maybe we're predisposed to a way of life, but, we all have the potential to be good, or evil. I saw it, even for myself, the possible to become evil..."
She closed her eyes, brought an arm up to rest over her eyes, and sighed. "I... want everything to be alright. I want everyone to come out okay, alive, and sane. I'll do whatever it takes, pay any cost, and push myself as hard as I have to, to make that desire a reality..."
Author's Notes:
Does anyone know if SOLDIER follows specific ranks? Or just 3rd, 2nd, 1st class?