Chapter 26

Now, that she allowed herself to thoroughly contemplate her situation for the first time, Michaela desperately tried to keep her composure. Although it seemed as if the dog soldiers' opinion about her presence had softened somewhat, she couldn't get rid of the feeling that they wouldn't allow her to return to Colorado Springs that easily. Not that she even knew how to get there… Suddenly, she remembered a conversation she had with Cloud Dancing once. It had astonished her that the Cheyenne let their horses just roam through the village and she had asked if they weren't afraid that the animals might escape. The medicine man had smiled and responded, "Even if they go away for a while, they always come back home. They know the way."
Maybe her horse was able to help her… Michaela still held Sully's beads firmly clasped in her hand when she rose to her feet. She looked around to see if Bear was nearby. Thinking she might have spotted him, she took a couple of steps in his direction. She froze in her place though when a dark figure at the edge of the camp straightened up. Feeling a chill spreading from the end of her limbs towards her heart, Michaela pivoted around only to see another shadow rising. When the first man had frightened her, the second one watching her every move terrified her, he was the proof that she was a prisoner. Her legs grew weak when this realization hit her so she turned and resumed her place as the Indians lowered their bodies to the ground as well.
Feeling the beads pressing against her palm, Michaela tried to seek comfort from them but failed miserably. She felt lonelier than she had ever before. The only experience that came close to this was the feeling when she had realized after her father's death that she would never see him again, never. Michaela swallowed hard and fought the tears that threatened to fall down.
Her father… This time, she couldn't ban the thought of him from her mind. He had always been so proud of her; would he still be? He had been the only man in her life she was able to confide in… Although, she hadn't dared to tell him her innermost fears. After David's engagement, she had thought herself a complete failure but her father hadn't wanted to hear about that and so she had pushed her self-doubts into the back of her mind. Only when she met Sully had she started to allow herself to show that she felt weak sometimes. Sully… She choked and lifted her shoulders to take in a labored breath. Slowly, she opened her hand and looked down at his beads. It crossed her mind only now that they had never talked about them and he had never asked her to give them back… Only yesterday, he had said that he loved her but also that that wasn't enough… Once again, she hadn't been able to give a man what he needed and now she sat here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by people who hated her for the fact that she was white. It was true, they had taken her medical help but that didn't mean they stopped looking at her as an enemy. Oh God, what would they do to her? Hannah would lose another mother and Sully would have to tell his daughter that she had two mas in Heaven now.
Michaela bent her tear-stained face towards the sky. The sight her eyes met, took her breath away. There twinkled zillions of stars in the midnight blue and she felt as if she melted into the earth to become a part of it. Suddenly, she understood what Sam Lindsay had meant when she had told her, "On the top of the mountain it feels peaceful, exhilarating. Like you are insignificant and important all at the same time. As though you really belong to the earth..."
Michaela fondly remembered the older woman who had promised to visit her before her next try to climb Pike's Peak. When the doctor had wanted to know why Sam wanted to do it on her own and if it wasn't far too dangerous, the answer had been, "When your mate's heart stops then that doesn't mean that you have to stop doing the things you loved to do together. About the danger, life isn't about living forever. It's about making the journey really count."
Michaela let these words sink in and turned her gaze back to the fire. If this was really her last night on earth, were there things she regretted? Fingering the beads, she admitted that she wished she had known how it would have felt to share her life with Sully. If she would ever be able to see him again, she would tell him that she was ready and would wait for him as long as he needed to be sure himself. At that moment, she didn't care that it wasn't the woman's place to say such things; she just knew that this was what she needed to do for herself. With a new surge of confidence, Michaela unfolded the leather string and put it around her neck. She wouldn't hide her feelings any longer. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
The night had been a very long one. Michaela hadn't dared to fall asleep; partly because she still watched her patients and partly because she was afraid of what the Indians might do to her when she allowed herself to stop being careful. So she had only dozed from time to time, startled by every sound or movement close to her. In the morning, she felt terrible. Not only because of the lack of sleep, she was used to staying awake all night. But because she hadn't eaten anything since she had left the Cheyenne village. The only thing she had had was water from her canteen; the Indians hadn't offered any food to her. Michaela knew though that she had to keep her strength, no matter what Dark Oak had planned for her. She looked around for Proud Stag and detected him with two other Indians at their leader's place. She didn't call for him though because it looked as if there was a serious discussion afoot.
She didn't know that she was the subject of it.

Dark Oak's mind was set; they would leave this place. Their three younger comrades were recovered enough to stand again and that meant they could ride. They would leave their injured friend behind though; when Lone Heart had come back two days before, he had said that he killed a soldier and was ready to die; everyone in the camp respected his wish. The only problem was the doctor. Although the Cheyenne in the group tried to reason that Medicine Woman wasn't an enemy and Black Kettle himself had given her the name, he wasn't convincing enough. The mention of the famous chief's name had made Dark Oak waver for a moment, but he ended the discussion with his decision that the white woman had to die. The only question was who would take care of it. Since none of his men volunteered for the task, the leader at last decided to do it himself.

Michaela had just finished examining the Indian she had operated on. He had lost a large amount of blood and his wound had already been infected when she had started to treat him. It looked as if she hadn't been successful in helping him and so her patient was in a very bad state. Would she be blamed if he didn't make it? Michaela was putting her stethoscope back into her medical bag when she noticed that the Indians around her focused their attention on a point behind her. Straightening, she turned around and saw Dark Oak, Proud Stag and another Indian approaching her. Their expressions were grim and again, Michaela detected compassion, this time combined with guilt, in the eyes of the Cheyenne.
Fear gripped her heart and she felt the color draining from her face. When the leader shortly nodded at one of his men next to her, her instinct told her to run. She couldn't do it though because now her arms were roughly gripped and bent behind her back. For a moment, a sunbeam blinded her. When she could see again, it terrified her to recognize that the sunbeam had been reflected from the knife in Dark Oak's hand. Desperately she shook her head and she wasn't sure if she had thought the words, "Please, no!" or choked them out loud. She knew she shouldn't show any fear, but she didn't feel very brave at the moment. Her eyes widened in horror when the Indian was close enough to reach for her.
In the middle of his movement, Dark Oak stopped. The white woman wore Indian beads, three of them! Three beads meant that someone protected her. Was it Black Kettle himself? Although the dog soldiers had left their tribes, that didn't mean that they had quit respecting their rules.
Wondering why the leader didn't complete his task, the others followed his gaze and recognized what made him hesitate and Proud Stag saw a new chance to change Dark Oak's mind. Before he started his attempt he silently asked the spirits for help.
Michaela barely dared to breathe. The knifepoint touched the skin of her neck and she feared that any tiny move would force it into her body. She had seen the Indian's look at Sully's beads; obviously they had a meaning she didn't know yet. Although she didn't understand one word, a glimmer of hope entered her mind when she saw the two Indians in front of her debating. She hadn't time enough to go back into her state of horror when suddenly Dark Oak turned his head sharply to face another Indian right behind her. She didn't even feel pain before she fell into blackness.
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Snowbird looked worriedly down at Hannah who sat motionless by the fire. The little girl hadn't wanted to go to sleep last night and only after she had found a blue shawl on her mother's sleeping place, had she calmed down somewhat. Since then, she was wrapped in the cloth and she hadn't let her bunny out of her hand either. Making the girl eat had been a wasted effort until now, but the Indian woman was determined to succeed this time. She had brought a bowl with mash and carefully Snowbird crouched down, so as not to startle Sully's daughter. Stroking the blond locks, she asked quietly, "Hannah?"
She waited until the blue eyes met hers. "You have to eat, Dr. Mike would want you to. She wants you to be strong."
Hannah didn't avert her eyes and contemplated if she should tell her mother's friend what she had felt for a few hours. Last night, it just had been restlessness, but this morning fear had gripped her heart. Her stomach was tightened; even if she wanted to, she couldn't eat one bit. Helplessly, she tried to communicate through her gaze.
The Indian woman nodded slowly, she understood the child's desperation. Hannah hadn't spoken one word since the moment she had tried to explain where her mother had gone. Snowbird was sure that something was wrong, otherwise the little girl wouldn't act that way; and that her friend was involved was for sure. Sully's daughter had frantically shaken her head when she had asked her to stay with Flying Sun for a while. If it wasn't impossible for such a young child to have such a strong negative feeling, Cloud Dancing's wife could have sworn that she had detected hate in the blue eyes. How she wished that the men would come back soon! But they didn't know that something had happened, most likely they were enjoying themselves…
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It was almost noon when Sully at last couldn't take it any longer. Since he had woken up in the middle of the night he couldn't shake off the feeling of danger that still increased rather than dissipating. He jumped up from his place by the fire and ran his hand through his hair. "Cloud Dancing, I gotta go back."
The medicine man regarded his brother thoughtfully. If his friend felt that way then there must be a reason, but he had to be sure. "Why?"
Sully grew agitated; he shouldn't need to explain himself. He glared at the man he considered his brother and replied impatiently, "Maybe this time, the spirits have spoken to me!"
When Cloud Dancing only frowned at him, Sully stopped pacing and he let out a long breath. "Sorry."
The Indian gave him a simple nod and so he added. "Since I've heard Michaela last night I can't help it, I just feel I oughta be home…"
Cloud Dancing, still sitting cross-legged by the fire, closed his eyes and let the situation sink in. They weren't done hunting yet, some traps they had set yesterday should be checked… On the other hand, if his brother had such a strong urge to return to the village then there must be a reason. When he at last looked up at Sully, he had made his decision. "We will go and only look after the traps on our way."
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Snowbird's concern had grown over the day. Hannah still sat by the fire, wrapped in Dr. Mikes shawl, the bunny in her lap and the carved wolf family right next to her within reach. Her short arms embraced her legs and her little chin rested on her knees. She had only drunk some tea and didn't talk to anyone; even the other children hadn't succeeded in cheering her up. Some minutes ago, she had become more alert though. From time to time she lifted her head as if she listened to a sound in the distance and soon it became clear that she had actually heard something because Sully and Cloud Dancing could be seen now. They approached the village not as dignified as they usually did and as soon as Sully spotted his daughter crouched down by the fire, he even urged his horse into a gallop.

Hannah's heart thumped loudly in her ears, her pa was back! But would he listen to her? When they were out here, he acted almost as if he was a stranger and spent most of his time with the other men. When her ma had to work as the doctor, she was always just sent to the children. At home, her father would play with her, she was allowed to snuggle up with him and they had a lot of fun together. Would he listen to her when she told him that something had happened to her ma? Or would he just talk to the other adults? Anxiously, she watched him come closer and didn't dare to just run into his arms.
Sully was alarmed- his daughter was wrapped in Michaela's blue shawl. She didn't budge but her eyes didn't let go of his. Sully jumped down from his horse next to Hannah and immediately crouched down to be on eyelevel with her. Tentatively, he reached out to touch her cheek and asked in a tender voice, "Hey, sweet girl, what's wrong?"
That was all the little girl needed; she threw her arms around her father's neck and clung to him as if she would never let go again. Deep inside her fear was released and when it broke through the surface, uncontrollable sobs shook the little body and the long held back tears at last burst through the dam.
Sully rose with his daughter in his arms and looked helplessly at Snowbird, "What happened? Where is Dr. Mike?"

Cloud Dancing acknowledged that this wasn't the usual greeting for a hunting party and so he unceremoniously joined the group. While the other Indians respectfully kept their distance, the medicine man looked questioningly at his wife as well. Snowbird swallowed hard and informed her husband in Cheyenne. Sully understood enough though and asked incredulously, "Michaela went into town and just left Hannah here?"
He didn't believe that for even one second. "Where's Flying Sun? I wanna hear that myself…"
Looking around, he searched for the woman he still called his friend and suddenly noticed that Hannah had stopped crying and tried to gain his attention by patting his shoulder. "What is it, sweet girl?"
When his daughter replied, "She bad!" Sully was stunned. His daughter had never before used such words.

...
An hour later, Sully knew that Flying Sun had lied to him. Although he had suspected it right from the start because of the many inconsistencies in her report, he had held a tiny hope that Michaela was in town. Of course she wasn't, as he knew now. Chris hadn't been at the reservation and was sure that there wasn't any emergency in town either. The only news in Colorado Springs was that the army was back chasing dog soldiers in the area. To Sully's astonishment, Hannah had instantly agreed to stay in town with Charlotte and Chris after she had made him promise to bring her ma home. Now, he was on his way back to his Indian family and his anger towards Flying Sun grew with every yard he covered.
When he finally reached the village, he didn't slow down his horse until he reached her teepee. Finally there, he jumped down, threw the flap aside and stormed in. He didn't care that there were other people inside as well. He instantly grasped Flying Sun's arm, pulling her up from her sitting position next to the fire, to yell at her as he emphasized every single word, "Where – is – Michaela?"