Chapter 13: Mothers

Insufferable man!

Aerith scowled a little, picking her way through a familiar path through the slums towards her old home. Needling into her past, saying she was training to much, didn't value her own life, calling her inconsiderate, ordering her around like she was a child!

Hmph!

While she was surprised Sephiroth even knew her birth parents, and it was 'good' that he finally knew their fate, it had become a sore subject to her after her death, or at least on her mother's side. She had a faint hope, when she drifted in the lifestream dead in her prior life, that she'd get to see Ilfana again. It never happened. She had been left as the only Ancient once again, first alive, then conscious while dead...

She cared for her adoptive mother, she truly did, but, she wanted the woman safe first before anything else. She had never seen her again after escaping Midgar her first life. She had missed her yes, but the knowledge that she had been trying to safeguard both her and the planet had helped with that. Knowing just truly how much was at stack now made her more determined than ever. Even if she wasn't going to rush off on her own...

(which in hindsight had been an incredibly stupid idea to entertain)

... she could still be training. Sephiroth had said she didn't value her own life, but Aerith did. She knew exactly how much it was worth. The Planet had chosen her as it's failsafe. She was the last Ancient, and the first Ancient SOLDIER, who knows what powers she would develop. She was the only living person that could call forth Holy. She could manipulate the lifestream even after she died. In fact, her death might have to happen if things went bad enough and the Planet needed her help fighting Jenova within the Lifestream. Her life, and death, might end up being worth the entire Planet. She didn't want to die, training so hard was a strong indication of her wanting to survive, or so she would have normally assumed, she was just...

She prepared to die.

She had been ever since coming back.

She knew it was a possible, likely, outcome.

She honestly hadn't bothered really getting used to be alive again...

She shook her head as her home came into view. She smiled faintly at the sight. It had been a long, very long, time since she had last seen it. Though, there weren't nearly as many flowers there as there had been before. Most likely wouldn't be without her there, nor without Zack to help plant them. Ah well... maybe when this was all over, if she was alive, she'd leave Midgar and SOLDIER and start a floral shop somewhere.

She walked up to her door and opened it, pausing uneasily at the abnormal sight within. There was clutter on the counter, the table was dusty and had leftover plates on it. Footwear was just haphazardly kicked to the side. The floor didn't look like it had been swept or mopped for a long while. And at the head of the table, Elmyra Gainsborough sat, her head bent over, staring down into her hands, an absolutely miserable look on her face.

Good heavens... what in the world...

"Mom?" Aerith questioned uncertainly.

The woman's head turned sharply, and then her eyes went wide with shock, then pure relief and joy.

"AERITH!" cried out her Mother, rushing through the door and embracing her in a tightly fierce hug, starting to sob into her shoulder, "Oh thank heavens you're alright. I hadn't heard anything for weeks, the Turks were all gone, no one had told me anything, I... I thought either Shinra had taken you or... or... that I had lost you."

And then all of Aerith's irritation at Sephiroth bled away into pure utter shame. "I... I'm sorry mom, I should have come back sooner."

"C-come back?" Elmyra whispered, then grew angry, "Come back? Aerith! Did you sneak off to a friends or something for a few weeks and not tell me?!"

"No! Heavens no mom!" said Aeirth, "I... went back to Shinra."

The woman's face paled. "Why?"

Aerith motioned inside, and they both stepped in, closing the door behind them. "I had to. I couldn't let things continue as they were. Something awful is coming, and I have to do whatever it takes to stop it."

Elmyra looked at her, perplexed. "Aerith... you're a child, let those who are grown handle whatever comes."

Aerith shook her head. "They'll make it worse if they don't have someone guiding them. If I didn't do something now, then it would be to late."

Her mother opened her mouth, and then froze for a moment, hand slowly reaching up to cup Aerith's cheek, looking closer at her eyes. "They're glowing... far more than normal."

"I... I joined SOLDIER," said Aerith softly.

Elmyra shakily sat at the table. "Oh Aerith..."

"I did it willingly mom," she said softly, "I had to, I had to become strong enough."

Her mother stared at her in confusion. "Aerith... what..."

Aerith gave her a patient look. "I know its hard to take in..."

Elmyra sputtered a bit. "You think? Aerith... you disappear for weeks, suddenly waltz back in, having gone willingly back to Shinra, joined SOLDIER, and you're acting almost nothing like the daughter I knew before you vanished."

Aerith rolled her eyes. "I can't be that different."

Elmyra gave her a thin look. "I've spent less than five minutes in the same room as you, and I can list plenty of ways. Shall I?"

Aerith pursed her lips, growing agitated. "Mom..."

"One, you are acting more serious than you ever have before. Two, you for some reason have an almighty opinion of yourself that you must take on whatever the hell problem you think is coming and that no one else can," said Elmyra, giving her a stern yet worried look, "Three, you went back to Shinra, you're terrified of Shinra. Forth is the same, except SOLDIER in place of Shinra. Five, you talked down to me like I'm a child that is still in school. Six, you have never rolled your eyes at me before, and trust me, I'd know, it's a mother's thing..."

"Mom!" Aerith exclaimed.

"Seven, you just interrupted me while I was speaking, I always remember you as quiet, patient, and waiting to speak until you had listened and thought over a response. Aerith..." said Elmyra, exasperated, "I haven't even see you smile yet or say you're happy to be home... I can see the bags under your eyes and the stress on your face. What is going on with you?"

Aerith went silent. Then, she moved to sit down and slumped into her seat, a heavy sigh escaping her lips. "Mom... I... I died and came back."

Elmyra blinked a few times. "Come again?"

She wouldn't lie to her mother, or give a half truth. Elmyra... had always understood, even if she didn't understand completely, she always tried, always listened, and never told a soul. "I died, the Planet was about to die, so it sent me back..."

Sephiroth was not nervous.

Not for something so trivial as meeting with a scientist, a mere woman.

Even if she was his own mother.

He was just... apprehensive. He had done some tentative research online. Videos of family gatherings. Basic summaries and examples of the roles a mother and son were supposed to have. It all seemed so... strange. Aside from the fact it was unwise to simply throw out what was tried and proven information... he wasn't sure he should use any of it. He was quite sure that allowing experimentation on ones own unborn child wasn't what a mother should do. And he without a doubt didn't fit into the role of a normal son.

He was half a mind to not even bother and simply treat her as a normal coworker of Shinra, yet... he wanted this. There were so few things in his life that were his, that he could call his own, things that so many others took for granted. Many had been deemed unnecessary or distracting; he had never particularly been allowed personal effects. He didn't actually even own the clothes on his back, they had been designed and given to him by Shinra. His blade technically wasn't his either, but he'd be damned before he let anyone take that away. Everything in his apartment was Shinra issued.

Without them, he honestly had nothing. Which he assumed was the point, in order to try to keep him there. He had a bank account, but had never been allowed to develop hobbies or interests that weren't guided, desired, or funded by Shinra, and as such, had no idea what to spend any of his money on aside from food. Even his friends, as much as he treasured them, had initially been thrust upon him. After all, it was beneficial to the Company and SOLDIER for their top SOLDIERs got along. Shinra was basically his entire life, and it irked him to no end sometimes. Other times he simply didn't care, being a SOLDIER was usually enough, but when it wasn't...

Those days he often spent darkly brooding.

He considered it a valuable skill to be able to brood on the move, as it allowed him to force himself into something he didn't want to do but had to. He found himself outside of Dr. Crescent's office suddenly, and it would be rather awkward to have come all this way, stand outside the door, then turn around. So, he simply reached forward and knocked.

"Just a minute!" came his mother's voice.

Sometimes, if Sephiroth paused like he was now and waiting, it would hit him all over again. The revelations of his birth and the Jenova Project, what was done to his friends, that he actually had a living breathing mother. It was one of the few things that made him close his eyes, take a deep visible breath, and let it out. There were few things in his life that had the potential to actually overwhelm him, he allowed himself the weakness in this regard. Normal people would have, what was the word Genesis used, flipped? Yes, 'flipped' by now. So much to take in, in so little time considering his duties and responsibilities as a SOLDIER.

Small mercy that men like Angeal existed to confide and vent in, especially considering the man's own trouble adapting to the truth.

The door opened and Lucrecia gave a start to see him there, then a hesitant smile, "Umm, g-good afternoon Sephiroth."

He tilted his head. "Good afternoon."

"You're just in time," she said, "I think I've come up with a methodical schedule to slowly take SOLDIER off of Jenova."

Not quite what he had come here for, but..., "Very well."

She motioned him inside and he walked in-to an office disaster zone. Papers scattered everywhere, folders open on the desk, her computer humming loudly, almost chuggingly, as if it had been on for days; a plate with half-eaten sandwich. Apparently, Aerith wasn't the only one putting so much of herself into her work. Then again, unlike Aerith who was mindlessly training, Lucrecia had the unfortunate duty of wading through Hojo's mess of a department, purifying it, getting it on track, starting new projects on top of replacing Jenova with Aerith's cells, and who knew what else.

She led him to the computer and offered him a seat. He accepted it, sat down back straight, and let his eyes wash over the schedule. "Hmm, once a month a first for a year, slowly increasing to once every few weeks, and then to once a week. It will take some time to cleanse SOLDIER."

Lucrecia nodded, placing her hands together. "Yes, based on what the Ancient said, I assumed we would want to do this slow as to not accidentally stir Jenova. Losing a potential vessel once in awhile can be attributed to many different things, nothing that I think would cause any distress. And as it gets used to it, we slowly speed up the process."

"Do we have a contingency plan, if it wakes?" asked Sephiroth.

"We're working on that," said Lucrecia, "We plan to, over time, fill up a backstock of Aerith's blood that we can use as an emergency on-site injector. We are vulnerable now, very vulnerable, but if a few years go by without any hiccups, we should be in a good spot."

Vulnerable

Sephiroth detested that word when SOLDIER was labeled with it. "How vulnerable exactly?"

Lucrecia hesitated. "Well... it comes down to the individual SOLDIER. Can they resist Jenova's control? The Ancient implied that they could with an incredibly strong will, but... I... I don't wish to disregard your men..."

"The average SOLDIER most likely does not meet that requirement," Sephiroth finished for her, "A strong sense of self and will is required to survive the SOLDIER process, but that does not necessarily mean they can resist something that could infect and control Ancients back when it first arrived."

"Well, we don't know how strong of mind and will the Ancients were, Aerith is all we have to go by as an example, but I think she's a bit of a special case," said Lucrecia.

"Undoubtedly," agreed Sephiroth.

"To finish though, the worst case scenario would be that Jenova awakens now, and takes control of almost all of SOLDIER, along with infecting the general populace," said Lucrecia, "It would be... an apocalyptic disaster. Now, I don't have a lot of information on Jenova herself, I really need to sit down with Aerith and get all the information I can from her on it. So, I made up what I thought was a few 'reasonable' scenarios and ideas of what her powers and abilities would be based on what Aerith has said and considering Jeniova wiped out the Ancients."

Sephiroth titled his head in acknowledgement. "And?"

"I spent some time crunching numbers on it, though I wish I hadn't. Best case scenario if Jenova awakens within the year is that humanity barely survives with less than a quarter of it's population intact, depending on, well...," she trailed of briefly, uncomfortable, "On how well you, Angeal, and Genesis can handle the situation. You are only three people, you can't be everywhere at once, protecting everyone, with all of SOLDIER turned against you."

A grim prospect.

Especially in slaying his own men. It was one thing with SOLDIERs who went mad and lost themselves, that was more of a freeing than a killing. But this? Being enslaved by this 'creature'? Animated by it's will with no choice? It would be horrifying both to be them, and to be killing them. He had done many things in his life he wasn't proud of, most of it centered on the Wutai War, but doing that? Murdering his own enslaved SOLDIERs to save himself and the world?

He had to forcibly resist a shudder.

Either something bled through, or she had some kind of 'motherly instinct'; her hand hesitatingly squeezed his shoulder. He tensed briefly, there were very few people he allowed to willingly touch him, rapid fans aside. He understood that mothers 'did this', but... it was hard to let go of years of such reaction. Still, he forced himself to relax as he felt his mother's touch began to lift, feeling her apprehension in the air. She hesitated, but withdrew her hand regardless, not pressing. He could respect her for that.

"What are your estimates for various scenarios of when Jenova awakens?" asked Sephiroth.

"Well, it will take roughly ten years to fully cleanse SOLDIER at the rate we've chosen. The first few years are the most dangerous for us, her awakening within that timeframe would be disastrous. If we reach the five year mark, our outlook gets much better. We'll have roughly half of SOLDIER cleansed, and perhaps other countermeasures developed as well. In addition, Aerith will have physically matured, I imagine she'll start to be a valuable asset to SOLDIER at that point, not that she already isn't with what she's done for us," said Lucrecia before tilting her head, "If we go a decade without Jenova waking up, with all of SOLDIER cleansed, our prospects will be... well... good I suppose. I find it hard to imagine that she could take on all of SOLDIER, even if she infected all of Midgar as a awful scenario. Of course, if we find and dispose of Jenova before she wakes up, then all of this guesswork is discarded. It also I suppose depends on how Jenova acts when if she wakes up. Confrontational? Subtle and cunning? I've come up with a few model scenarios if you want to look at them."

Sephiroth did, but after the first few, it was apparent she wasn't a tactician. They were overviews, number crunching if X amount of population at Y city was infected; how certain SOLDIERs would fare based off their mission scoring; things of that nature. Still, he read through them all before pointing out something critical he found missing in her rigid estimates, "While these are valid to a degree, there is always the unknown factor to consider. Things we cannot predict, and with how much of an unknown factor Jenova is, there is much that could go wrong, much that we cannot prepare for. It could come up with strategies we have no concept of. As for finding and disposing of it early... I'm not placing faith in it. If we do, then excellent, if we don't, I will be as prepared as I can be."

Lucrecia nodded. "Yes, t-that is a valid statement. I suppose that makes most of my calculations moot."

"I appreciate the effort," offered Sephiroth, "And its not for nothing, I always value a thought out opinion, it offers me a new point of view and things I may not consider."

There was a hesitant smile on her face for a moment before it vanished and she cleared her throat. "Well... that's all I really had to show at the moment unfortunately."

"That is fine," answered Sephiroth, "I did not actually come here to discuss strategy or Jenova."

She blinked a few times. "Then why..."

"You offered, and it would have been rude of me not to listen," he preemptively answered.

"Oh... well, why did you drop by then?" she asked, "Is there something I can do for you?"

"I... wished to... talk," he said slowly, methodically.

Her eyes went wide for a moment, a quick intake of breath. "A-about what?"

There was so much he wanted to ask, yet... she seemed more scared of the potential subject than he was nervous. Perhaps now wasn't the proper time. They hardly had spent any time together yet, delving into... deeper... matters, well, that might be to soon. Yes, better to take things slow. Perhaps what Aerith had told him then as a safer topic. Depending on if she knew her parents and how close she was to them if she did.

"I was talking with Aerith earlier," he said, noting how her shoulders relaxed, relief on her face, "I learned who her birth parents are."

Lucrecia blinked a few times. "Birth parents? I wasn't aware she was adopted."

"She is," he said before continuing, "She was born to Gast Faremes and Ilfana."

Lucrecia's jaw dropped, open shock on her face. "T-truly?"

Sephiroth nodded, before offering an obvious lead-in for her to continue. "Yes, I take it you knew them?"

She smiled a little. "Yes, they were part of the Jenova Project. Gast was a mentor of sorts, so patient and wise, he filled in what college failed to teach me. Ilfana, she was all sorts of fun; shopping, talking boys, had an odd penchant for flowers, but she was a close friend. At least, up until you were born."

It faded. "After I was cut off from you, and Vincent was shot, tension started rising, a lot. Last I saw, before I exiled myself, was that Gast and Hojo were butting heads almost daily."

She frowned. "Speaking of Gast... I haven't seen or heard anything of him since I returned."

"He's gone," said Sephiroth softly, "Both him and Ilfana were killed."

Lucrecia suckered in a breath, her face paling, the beginnings of tears in her eyes. "H-how?"

"Aerith told me Hojo shot Gast when she was an infant," said Sephiroth, "And that Ilfana died when they escaped Hojo's labs when she was seven."

Lucrecia's legs buckled under her, Sephiroth was however quicker, and got her to her chair. "Easy mother."

Lucrecia looked ready to hyperventilate. "Oh Gast... oh Ilfana... and Aerith, that poor girl, growing up in Hojo's lab."

Sephiroth didn't respond, his thoughts lingering on his own youth in Hojo's labs. There would come a time to discuss that later, but not now. He focused on his mother, her shocked tearing face, ragged breathing. He hesitatingly put a hand on her shoulder, and she readily leaned into it. Lucrecia... seemed like a fragile woman. Whether she was naturally like this, or it was the aftermath of her long 'hibernation' in a Mako crystal or the Jenova Project.

Speaking of which... she herself needed to be cleansed of Jenova, he wondered if she had realized that yet. Something to, yet again, bring up later. She needed time to rest and cope with the loss of dear friends. He was more than willing to give that to her though. For seeing her like this... made him feel something odd, a desire to safeguard and take away her pain. For she was his mother, to cherish and protect.

He would give her all the time in the world.

Aerith finished her tale and waited, watching the mixture of emotions pass across Elmyra's face. The woman said nothing for a good long while, simply staring at Aerith, eyes searching eyes. Finally, she ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

"Dead before thirty," muttered Elmyra, latching onto what appeared to disturb her the most, rubbing her eyes, "Oh Aerith... that wasn't a life I wished for you."

"Giving my life for the Planet was my duty," answered Aerith.

"Is that how you choose to cope with it?" asked Elmyra dryly.

"There is no 'coping', said Aerith back with equal dryness, "I'm fine."

Elmyra snorted and rose to her feet, walking around the table to stand behind Aerith, wrapping her in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry Aerith."

Aerith fidgeted uncomfortably. When was the last time she had been held like this? Since before she had left Midgar all those years ago. She hesitated, before slowly grasping her mothers arms and pulling them tighter to her chest. Oh how she had missed Elmyra... no doubt, just belief, acceptance, and love.

"And now you feel like you have to do it all over again," murmured Elmyra, "Haven't you done enough my child? You've already set things in motion for the better..."

Aerith sighed and gently peeled her mother's arms away. "It's not enough, it's not nearly enough."

"When will it be enough?" half-demanded, half-whispered her mother.

"When Jenova is dead, and I don't have to worry about the top three of SOLDIER going insane," said Aerith plainly.

Elmyra tugged on her arm, and Aerith obliged, standing up to turn and face her Mother. The older woman reached a hand up to caress her face, fingers inches from her eyes. "And rushing into it like this is the way to do it?"

"I did not rush...," began Aerith.

"Let me finish," reprimanded Elmyra, "You woke up here, immediately started in on the Turks, shoved a brutal truth down the top three SOLDIERs throats, then got yourself pumped full of Mako within a week's time. Did you stop to even think of the consequences? For one, this glow... it's not going away Aerith. It's permanent. This will have consequences long after this 'Jenova' is dead. Do you understand that?"

"You say that as if it's guaranteed we'll win when there are no such thing as a free pass," said Aerith, "Sephiroth already won once when he went insane the first time. If he went off again, there's a high chance we'd all die. And Jenova? Sephiroth didn't care for the general populace until it was the end and he began to destroy the world. The Calamity, even if we beat her, if what happened to my ancestors is any indication, humanity might be lucky to even have a tenth of it's population survive the struggle."

Elmyra's hand tightened on her cheek. "That doesn't answer the question Aerith."

Aerith sighed. "I did not have time to waste, so I did what I must mom. If I live through this, I'll face the outcome without regrets."

Elmya's hand dropped away with a sigh, and she moved to the sink, starting to pile dishes in. "I see."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Elmyra glanced over. "Surely you haven't forgotten?"

Aerith gave her a blank look. "Forgotten what?"

Elmyra tapped a spoon on the counter. "Chores dear. This mess isn't going to clean itself."

Aerith huffed a little, "Not my mess," but smiled teasingly at her mother, glad the subject had been dropped, for now. Chores... was such a simple thing she hadn't done in a long time, something to lose herself in, and maybe pretend she was actually a young teenage girl again...

Author's Note: Possessive Sephiroth is possessive | Elmyra knows best.

Review Responses:

Chaosmoon75: Thank you.

Azure Shrine: Ask and receive. Cloud's not going to be for awhile.

x3eloved: *eyes hanging out*

NocturneX: Aerith's going to need a bit of time to adjust, not to being alive, but accepting being alive, not just counting herself on a timer until she dies again and being all doom/gloom/super serious.

Sakurablossomhime: You sure about Gast? I took his name right off the FF Wiki.