Chapter 16: Not-So-Gentle
Aerith wished they had the first 'Therapy Session' at the end of the day, rather than the beginning. She felt like a jittery mess during training and lessons afterwards. Maybe, just maybe, there was some point to all of this, maybe she did need someone to help her sift through her previous existence. She could look into her memories on what had happened during her last life for the sake of others just fine. It's when she went in on her own... or was reminded of it directly (like every time she interacted with Zack), that it struck deeply. If Zack, the trip through the Forgotten Capital, and that 'Initial Session of Therapy' was any indication; if she really sat down and tried to deal with all of this, she wasn't sure she'd be in any state to help anyone anytime soon. If the Calamity struck during that time, Aerith couldn't count on herself to be at her best.
And there was so much; just the act that Doctor Redman had gone through, of planning sessions for each section of her life, for each person... had really drummed in just how much she'd have to deal with. She especially NEVER wanted to recall the years of her life before she had lived with her adoptive mother, aside from her birth mother. There were deep and dark things she kept locked down deep, which she never would admit resonated with the rage and hate her time's Sephiroth had for humanity, that Hojo had done to her and her birth mother, or made them do...
Specimen A is showing an elevated reaction to hormonal injection, I estimate she will be ready within the next few months for the next stage of experimentation. I look forward to having additional Ancient test subjects to test, even if they are diluted by humans.
She viciously shook her head and shoved the memory back into it's deep dark pit, the act enough to draw the curious looks of passing SOLDIERs in the hallway. She ignored the looks and continued on. It would take so long to do; months, perhaps years, of spread out ache filled one hour sessions. In addition, Doctor Redman probably hadn't even considered some of the major shifts between being alive and being dead. She reached out and ran a hand along the wall as she walked back to her shared room. The physical touch of it, after not having any kind of physical sensation for almost a decade... if she hadn't been so intently focused and tensed when she got back... she wasn't sure how she would have reacted. Even now, just having all those sensations back again...
Sight.
Hearing.
Touch.
Taste.
Smell.
She didn't experience that in the Lifestream, only echoes of it. Herself or the Higher Powers (She had only ever met Minerva, but apparently there had been more in the past, before the Calamity came), they could mentally create a location within the Lifestream. She could emulate many things (she had enjoyed sending Cloud and the others to fields of flowers whenever she met them in their dreams), but it wasn't the same. The sight of the flowers, the smell of them, the touch, the sound of leaves rustling in the wind... it was all just memories, echoes of something from her own or the shared life of the Lifestream.
If she allowed herself now to relax and the sensations to linger... it was jarring. If she just forced passed it, kept tense and controlled, she could tolerate and ignore it, like most things these days... she could grudgingly acknowledge she probably had to deal with this at some point, enough people had made their point forcefully known in that regard. She just... just wished it wasn't now. She needed to get through dealing with Jenova, with Hojo dead, and the top SOLDIERs securely sane, then she could have her own breakdown if that's what all of this lead to.
Except there was one tiny problem.
Somebody had ordered her into these sessions, and unless she wanted to lose further access to SOLDIER, she had to go through with this. If push came to shove, she could go out on her own and count on Lucrecia slowly cleansing SOLDIER and them fighting if Jenova awoke and came after them. But there would be no cohesion between them and her, no trust, and she'd be much weaker from missing two levels of SOLDIER enhancements, not to mention the training and experience. There was really little choice in this...
She opened the door to her shared room, wanting to just flop into bed...
"...love to be a fly on the wall for that little chat," came Kunsel's voice.
"Yeah... no," said Zack, voice rather serious, "That's between Angeal and his mom, no one else."
And with that, she crumpled all her own troubles into a ball and tossed them into a closet with the door locking behind it. "What's between Angeal and his mother?"
Zack glanced over, looking a little sheepish. "Ah... well, 'Geal's heading home for a bit of leave. Think he plans on asking his mom about... you know, the whole mess."
Project G, oh boy, there was a confrontation in the making there. It also tickled the back of her mind, memories from the last lifestream, of an empty Banora...
No, that couldn't possibly happen this time, Genesis wasn't a degrading madman, if anything, he'd help keep Angeal calm. "Whose going with him? Genesis?"
"Uh... no one I think," he answered.
Surely she hadn't heard that right. "No one?"
"It's kind of a private thing," said Zack, shrugging his shoulders.
She stared at him. Oh Zack...
He was so young, he didn't understand yet even if it was only a few years before he would have been forced to. He hadn't seen Genesis's madness (neither had she directly, but she knew of it via Minerva), hadn't seen Angeal lose himself, seen Sephiroth go mad. He had heard what she had told them, but he didn't truly see it, hadn't seen how fragile those he saw as living legends actually were. Angeal going into that confrontation alone was an absolute disaster waiting to happen, and considering one of the visions she could recall Minerva giving her, probably the way they would lose him to the Calamity.
It can't be allowed to happen.
"Where is Genesis?" her voice was short, clipped, and commanding in a way it had never been before, and for a second, her vision turned gold, she could see the room and its inhabitants in a way she wasn't sure she could comprehend.
Zack froze perfectly for a moment, not a single twitch in his form, before he spoke quietly, nervously, "Off on a mission last I knew."
"Sephiroth?"
"His office."
"When is Angeal leaving?"
"Helicopter would have left about five minutes ago."
"Call him."
Zack, bless him, didn't question it. Unfortunately, he got an automatic prerecorded do-not-disturb response.
Aerith turned and left before Zack could hang up his phone, pulling out her PHS and calling up a map for the building. Five minutes later she walked past a sputtering secretary, and threw Sephiroth's door open...
Sephiroth paused the recording he was taking notes from, eyes going up from the computer screen on his desk, to see Aerith barge into his office, looking furious. He could only stare, incredulous. He knew she had started in on that class, had her military lessons taught her nothing? Unless it was Jenova waking up, there was little that would stop him from giving her the dressing down of her very short military life once whatever tirade she was about to go on was over.
"Are you insane?" she demanded, "I thought you were smarter than this, especially with everything I've told you!"
Whatever it was, he doubted it was Jenova at the moment, and slowly, he rose from his desk, irritation playing his face and his eyes narrowing on her own...
Which had a faint golden glow to them.
What in the world?
Not important at the moment, though he was aware of the fact he almost felt compelled to straighten his spine as if he were the one who had disrespected a superior officer and was about to get dressed down and not the other way around. "SOLDIER, you had better have a good reason for barging into my office throwing insults."
"You let Angeal go off to go confront his mother on his own!"
He blinked. THAT was what she was on about? "He deserves to have the chance to get answers, to know why she made the choice she did."
She pursed her lips, displeased. "I'm not denying that, but why did you let him go alone? With no support? No one to turn to!"
He frowned at her. "Incase you forgot, Ancient, we've already had your little 'revelation' meeting. We are fine."
The only reason he considered getting additional 'help' himself was because he couldn't take any risk of loosing control.
She gave him a look of near pity, the gold in her mako green eyes swirling. "Sephiroth, you still have so much to learn about people, about emotion."
He glared at her, feeling a fire ignite in his chest. "Is that so? I'm an unfeeling machine to you? A weapon?"
She narrowed her eyes. "That, is not what I said. You are not unfeeling, what you feel is valid, but what you understand about others is stunted, or did you forget how Hojo raised you?"
Sephiroth's hand was half-way to Masamune before he controlled himself. "Watch yourself SOLDIER, this is your only warning."
She didn't so much as flinch, which sparked a hint of wariness in him. She had steel, he knew that, but this was beyond that, something else was going on here. "You will go after Angeal."
A statement.
An order.
He had half a mind to tell her, what had he heard that one SOLDIER said? 'Go to Hell'?
He was better than that though, he was controlled. So instead, he sat back down, placed his hands in a bridge to rest his chin on, and stared at her. "Why?"
"You allowed Angeal to head off into what will most likely be an emotionally charged situation when he is not even close to his best," said Aerith.
"He has had time to adjust, last I saw he was fine, when was the last time you interacted with him?" he countered, "What would give you even a hint of danger?"
"He's had time to brood, not adjust," She pursed her lips. "But, there is no time to be..."
"Right now SOLDIER, the only thing I am contemplating is how much punishment you are going get for this," he said quietly, dangerously, "This is not how you approach nor address a superior officer."
"And I told you, Sephiroth, SOLDIER does not matter to the Planet, Shinra and it's rules and regulations do not matter to the Planet," she snarled, actually snarled at HIM, "I told you the Calamity can take advantage of ANY mental weakness."
"It's not awake, unless you have anything to reveal on that?" he inquired, "And without proximity is there any real danger even IF he momentarily loses his cool?"
She scowled. "Sephiroth, I am going to tell you something about what I witnessed, you will hear it, then you will go, because you can't take back a dead town."
What was she...
"Banora was massacred in my visions by those it had betrayed," she said in warning, the gold in her eyes growing stronger, "No one survived."
Sephiroth stilled for a moment, assessing the possibility and probability, cold logic started on that before he could even begin to dismiss it. The situation couldn't possibly be close to the same to whatever had happened originally...
"If anything like that happens, Angeal will not return here, and he will go off on his own and become vulnerable. I WILL NOT tolerate him becoming Jenova's pawn," she stated.
"Why not go yourself?" he countered, though simply for the sake of it, he was already reaching for his PHS; he did not believe Angeal was in danger of that, of murdering his own hometown, it was incredulous. But the same inner voice that demanded he find himself 'help' also warned him that it was unacceptable to even risk something like this (to risk his friend) when the only thing he would lose by going after Angeal would be possibly a few days of paperwork and perhaps a peeved Director (and the irritation of giving in to the situation when the Ancient had barged in like this).
"I am not his friend," she answered simply, "As understanding as I am, and as comforting as I can try to be, I am more than aware that I have caused him, and by extension you and Genesis enough emotional and mental anguish over what I've revealed that you avoid me like the plague unless you have a point to see me."
He blinked at her, and resisted the urge to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. "You are correct that you are not my friend, nor Angeal's, nor Genesis's, and regardless of that, this is the military, not some civilian groupie. Why in the world would we go out of our way to see you?" aside from observation and assessment of course, "We have duties... no, this isn't important right now. I'll deal with you when I return, and so help me if he doesn't show even an ounce of emotional distress I will have you scrub every single toilet in the Shinra tower clean."
He ignored whatever response she would give and turned to his phone, dialing. "Tseng? I need a helicopter."
"When."
"Now."
"I'll have it ready on the pad in five minutes."
Click.
He could always appreciate efficiency. It's one of the reasons Tseng was fast becoming one of Sephiroth's favored Turks to deal with outside of Veld.
"If I'm wrong, then I'll happily scrub them clean."
He looked up and narrowed his eyes at her. "SOLDIER, you need to learn when to not run your mouth."
She said nothing, but he did note the golden glow had started to fade from her eyes, and with it, a lot of the brute confidence faded out of her posture. He was puzzled, wondering if he had missed previous instances of that glow, but ignored it and moved, grabbing his leather's.
"I might not be your friend, but I wouldn't have minded being one if any of you but asked, and I've never really had the chance to, in either life."
His hand stilled for a single moment at the so soft whisper before he forced an arm through his sleeves. He walked passed her without a further word. Perhaps he didn't understand emotion, or at least a civilian's (or maybe just hers). Did she feel left out because none of them had approached her in that way? Regardless of what he had been thinking earlier about 'perhaps' reaching out, what arrogance did she had to think she was owed it? They owed a debt, he was not ignorant of that, but that was all that was owed. If she wanted something more, she'd have to earn it. Surely she understood that? He could grudgingly admit she had impressed him at times, and had things that resonated with him, but SOLDIER wasn't a group that just gave that out easily. She couldn't possibly be that naive or ignorant about it. Could she? He, Genesis, and Angeal had befriended one another over years in the battlefield or on missions. SOLDIERs did not go up to one another and say 'hi, want to be friends?'.
He briefly amended that to 'SOLDIERs that were not Zackery Fair' and apparently now Aerith Gainsborough.
He brushed it off as unimportant for the moment and made his way for the helicopter pad...
Sephiroth hadn't been to Banora often. Maybe once or twice during a mission. It was a small, quaint little town in the Mideel Area. Houses were structured in a circular fashion around a small fountain. Greenery surrounded the town, a refreshing sensation to look upon after any time spent in Midgar and the immediate wasteland surrounding it. There were warehouses off in the distance, and people milling about. Though they gave him a wide berth as he strode into town from the helicopter on it's outskirts. He was roughly half an hour behind Angeal, give or take. It's not like he expected the town to be up in smoke, but there was a tint of relief when it wasn't.
He was however a little tense when he approached Angeal's house and could hear, not Angeal's unusually loud voice, "How could you! Why?"
Sephiroth hesitated. Now that he was here, he was a bit unsure on what to do. He paused a bit from the entrance to the house, a little uncertain of how best to approach this...
He really didn't get much time to think as Angeal stalked out of the house, Buster Sword nowhere in sight, muttering darkly to himself. Sephiroth sized him up in a single glance. Stressed, frustrated, tense, agitated, but most of all, the look of pained betrayal on his face.
"Angeal?" he questioned.
The man in question came up short, and he started at Sephiroth in bewilderment. "Sephiroth? What in the world are you doing here?"
"I took a sick day," he said offhandedly, and while it wasn't untrue as he had punched that as an excuse into his timekeeping, it was mostly to buy him time to think.
Angeal blinked. "You don't get sick."
"I had chicken pox I think when I was a small child."
Angeal snorted, but fixed an unusually impatient glare on him.
"I... came to offer... support," said Sephiroth tactically.
Angeal stared at him for a moment before running a hand down his face and turning away, walking off towards the outskirts of town. Now it was Sephiroth's turn to be bewildered, and perhaps a little hurt. He had come here, even if it was at the Ancient's prodding, to offer support to his friend, one should not just turn away from that without so much as an 'I'm fine' lie. At least, he didn't think so. Still, he followed silently as his friend left the town and moved to the fields outside of it in powerful strides, his friend's fists clenched tightly.
"NYAAAARRHHH!"
Sephiroth's eyes went comically wide to see Angeal smash his fist into a boulder, shattering it. The man never lost his cool like this, not once had Sephiroth ever seen it. "Angeal!"
"She did it willingly!" shouted Angeal, bitter and hoarse, "She wasn't forced to participate, she did it willingly!"
Ah, so Angeal had gone right for the heart of the matter, no politeness or working his way towards it. Sephiroth slowly walked over, letting the man pound the boulder into oblivion before placing a hand on Angeal's trembling shoulders. "I'm sorry."
Angeal took a ragged breath. "How could she?"
"She didn't say?"
"No... she just... just hung her head and looked away from me. I... I should have demanded an answer until she gave it but I... I had to get out of there. I couldn't...," Angeal trailed off, a small chocking sound escaping his throat.
Perhaps Sephiroth would dial back the punishment he gave the Ancient, half the building instead of the entire tower would be fair he supposed. Angeal was easily strong enough to come back from this on his own, but if Sephiroth could spare him any pain, he gladly would.
"You will get your answers in due time," said Sephiroth softly, "Take this slow Angeal, like a battlefield, don't rush in and get surrounded by more than you can handle."
Angeal gave a harsh laugh, turning to look at him. "Only you Sephiroth would make that kind of comparison, only you."
Sephiroth gave a confused look, but chose not to comment since some of the tension had gone out of the man's shoulders.
Angeal sat down on one of the remaining pieces of the boulder, sighing and rubbing his face again, staring back into town. "I wonder if Gen's parents were the same. He was adopted, but surely they had to know. We're we all betrayed by those who were supposed to protect, care for, and love us?"
"You've never spoken anything ill of your mother to me," said Sephiroth, "Only of how much she cared. Do you now doubt she does?"
Angeal closed his eyes and sighed. "No."
"I can't pretend to know what Gillian was thinking nor why she accepted," began Sephiroth carefully, "But I do know that we are all human, and humans make mistakes. There is also the possibility that Shinra may have sold her lines about possible benefits the experiment might give you, or given her a deal of some kind, I don't truly know. But I doubt she did this, or would have considered doing it, if she thought it would harm you. Be patient, hear her side of the story, and talk it out."
Angeal nodded, his shoulders sagging a bit, but didn't otherwise respond.
Sephiroth didn't press him further, merely sitting down next to him, bumping shoulders as he did. They sat there in companionable silence as the sun slowly moved towards setting. Angeal took a good thirty minutes to gather himself before rising to his feet and making his way back towards his home. Sephiroth paused, they both did, at the entrance to the house, a certain unmistakable metallic smell assaulting their noses. Something they were both very familiar with. Blood.
They dashed in...
And there on the floor next to the Buster Sword was Angeal's mother, somehow managing to have slit her throat on it. He stared at the scene, dumbstruck with disbelief.
Angeal made a horrific chocking sound. "Mom!"
The son rushed for his mother, kneeling down and turning her over, shaking her. "No, no no no! Mom no!"
"Angeal...," it was all he could do to stupidly say the man's name.
His friend's mother had just killed herself... what was he supposed to do?
"Use Life! A Phoenix down! Anything!" cried out Angeal.
The blood on the woman's throat had long since dried. She had probably done it within minutes after Angeal had stalked out. She was long dead past the point where such things could save her. How her body hadn't been claimed and faded away already was a mystery to him at this point.
"I'm sorry, Angeal," he whispered.
"Use them!" Angeal roared, "Please!"
"She's gone Angeal, I'm...," began Sephiroth, walking over to place a hand on his shoulder...
How he suddenly had a bruised face, ears ringing and head throbbing painfully with what felt like a concussion, and was flying through the walls of Angeal's house was momentarily lost on him. The fact that his friend was charging after him, Buster Sword in hand, looking like a wild and wounded animal, was not however...
Genesis sighed, irritably, leaning against the wall near the Shinra Helicopter pad. He had just gotten back from his mission and hour ago. He was looking forward to a warm shower and an hour reading LOVELESS before calling it a night, only to get a short call from the Turk Tseng about his presence being requested here along with medical. Apparently Angeal was hurt, how badly Genesis didn't know. The Turk's call had been tight and clipped, not the controlled words he usually got from Turks that weren't putting on some theatrical act. It left a wary feeling in Genesis's gut. Angeal was supposed to have been heading off on vacation last he knew. Did he take a last minute mission or what?
His ears picked up the Helicopter well before it arrived. When it landed he motioned the medical staff forward. He couldn't help but tense when they pulled Angeal out of the helicopter, unconscious, shirt half burned off, long bloody gashes on his chest that looked far to much like Masamune's work to be a coincidence and...
Was that a white WING out of Angeal's shoulder?!
He watched, incredulous, as they took him away on a stretcher. At that sound of Sephiroth's footsteps his vision turned red. SEPHIROTH had done this to him? He whirled on the man, and was about to release a torrent of his rage that would make the building tremble...
Then it died in his throat.
Sephiroth had a hand wearily on the helicopter for support, blood generously coating his body from the stomach down, what looked like a mostly closed GIANT STAB WOUND in his chest. "Goddess, what the hell happened?"
Sephiroth smiled mirthlessly, voice tired and faint. "I'm not very good at offering condolences."
Genesis stared at him blankly, watching the man slowly walk passed.
He made it about half way across the landing pad before he collapsed.
And it was all Genesis could do but stare in disbelief. Sephiroth did not just collapse! He never collapsed! Or even showed he was tired, it was beneath him. He barely slept as it was!
He heard a soft sigh before Tseng moved to stand next to Genesis. "I was wondering how long he would last. Even for him, extreme blood loss is not something to be shrugged off easily."
Genesis broke his stupor and rushed over, hefting Sephiroth onto his shoulder. "Turk, keep up, you will give me an explanation."
Genesis did not run, but he did walk swiftly.
"From what Sephiroth told me, Angeal's mother killed herself, and Angeal... did not react well," said Tseng.
Genesis froze for a moment before forcing himself to resume. "Gillian is dead?!"
"Yes."
Merciful goddess...
"Sephiroth forced the fight out of town and tried to talk him down, I believe he held back quite a bit, up until Angeal sprouted a wing and put his sword through Sephiroth's chest," said Tseng mildly, as if it were an everyday report, "I think it was a combination of the wing and Sephiroth not expecting him to fight with lethal intent, even in that state. I'm not sure, Sephiroth seemed oddly offbalanced from the start from what I can tell. Regardless, the fight didn't last long afterwards."
No, it wouldn't have, because that action would have made Angeal a threat. And threats were put down, or at thankfully beaten unconscious instead. Still...
"A wing, of course she was serious about that," said Genesis with exasperation, "Wings of light and dark spread afar, Wonder when I'm getting mine."
Tseng didn't comment.
He sighed. "Oh this is going to be a mess."
"Perhaps."
"Not a word is getting out about this Turk."
"Of course. Angeal is still on vacation and Sephiroth is still on sick leave after all."
Genesis snorted. "Sick leave?"
Tseng merely hummed in response.
Genesis shook his head. "No one is going to believe that, but I frankly don't give a damn."
"You are going to need to stay with Angeal until Sephiroth recovers incase Angeal is still in an... uncooperative state."
"I'm aware."
And wasn't that just jarring. How in the world could Angeal lose it like that? He had heard the Ancients words about Angeal going suicidal, but attacking a friend?! Even in grief...
"My friend, the fates are cruel," he muttered, "There are no dreams, no honor remain."
Oh Angeal...
Review Responses:
NocturneX: Try being the opportune word. But someone isn't going to be saved, who that someone is, we'll see. When was the Coral incident again? The pillar collapse wont happen, but if lore-wise the Coral Incident is before Aerith turns of age to go on missions... oh wait, actually, that incident only happened because of Avalanche right? So yeah, that probably won't happen either. Will need to think of another reason for Aerith to at least meet Barret once.
GreatAzireDragon: Don't be mean to poor Seph! He tries, even if Aerith certainly makes it difficult to want to at times.
Mizu Hoseki: Hmmm, when does Cloud sign up again? I might have to fudge the timeline a little bit if it's to soon. I'd like Aerith at least 2nd Class before he shows up as a Cadet.
Guest: Cloud failed to make SOLDIER last time, failed the cadet exams I believe. A certain Ancient, or brawler maybe, will have to give him incentive to try harder, or just push him harder, to pass the exams this time.
Azure Shine: Those visions were possible futures, not guarantees. Veld wants to keep his daughter close. Zack/Cissnei will most likely briefly be touched on later on, but it wont be a major part of the story except perhaps as a means to make Aerith let go/move on. I plan on having Aerith meet all members of the FF7-AVALANCHE at least once in the story. (I'll give you one guess how she's going to meet Yuffie). Cloud is going to be fine, at most Sephiroth will have interest as a potential rival (not that Cloud can become as powerful as Cannon!Cloud without Sephiroth's cells in him, but he can easily become 1st Class if pushed and guided towards it). Finally, any romance between Seph/Aerith is a LONG ways away.