Holy monkeys, it's been ages since this has been updated, I can only pray that I'm more on track from now on.

Disclaimer: I do not own sly cooper and I never will.

On with da fic.

As the fighters walked down the hallway, Cooper was trying desperately to navigate through the crowd to the Panda King. It was difficult, as every single fighter in the hall seemed totally intent on getting to the inner ring and getting a glimpse of the champ. It didn't help that most of them were bigger than Sly. As one of them elbowed him in the face as he tried to squeeze by, he lost it.

"Ok, that's it!" He yelled. With that, he jumped on the head of the nearest fighter, and began to jump from person to person until he reached the Panda King, who eyed him strangely.

"Cooper." He said.

"King." Sly replied. They stared at each other in silence for a moment. Finally, Sly continued.

"Look, I hate to impose, but we need your help again." he said. " Look, I know that I don't like you, and you don't like me, but I really need this help, and-"

"Cooper, stop humiliating yourself, Bentley contacted me about this already." The Panda King replied calmly. "And I'll give you the same answer I gave him. My meditation revealed this place to me, told me that here, I could regain some of my lost honor. And as you can see, Tsou is standing right there. He dishonored me, so I must defeat him. But that is not all. The spirits have proclaimed that the Demon Bull must be defeated."

"Ok……" Sly replied. He had hoped that once, just once, he could ask someone for help, and they'd ask for money instead of an entire operation. But, obviously that kind of ease just wasn't in the cards for the Cooper Gang.

As the gladiators continued, they reached an opening in the tunnel, as they walked through, screams erupted from the audience inside. The inner ring lived up to it's reputation, looking like some kind of matador arena. The stands were full of screaming people, probably all crooks if the places rep was right. But one voice was magnified above the rest.

"Ladies and doods, I know you've been givin' a shout out for the bad, bad boss man o, this joint, so I won't be a square and keep him cooped! Say hello to the Lord of Lucha, the coolest cat in Spain, El Diablo Loco!!!!"

The crowd exploded with cheering. As they did, a gate on the other side of the arena opened. Out exploded a nightmare.

The huge bull that was now tearing around the arena was covered in rippling muscles. His horns were huge and sharp. He wore a brightly colored Lucha mask that covered his entire face, with the exception of his horns.

After he finished tearing around, he walked toward the center of the arena were Dimitri was standing and wrestled the mike out of his hands.

"Hello, fight lovers!" he yelled in a thick Spanish accent. "Thees ees the 10th semi annual Matador Fighting tournament! Are you ready for blood?"

"Yeah!" the spectators yelled.

"Are you ready for pain?"

"Yeah!"

"Are you ready to see so many beat downs that you wanna through up!?!?"

"Yeah!" they yelled a third time.

"Then you at the right place! Later tonight, don't were nice clothes, 'cause there ees goin' to be blood everywhere!"

The crowd cheered again, this time louder than ever before.

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"I really don't get these people." Sly mumbled to the Panda King. He didn't respond. Suddenly, Bentley began paging him via Binocucom.

"Since everyone's leaving for a while, you should take this opportunity to talk to Dimitri. He might be able to help." Sly walked up to Dimitri as he was exiting the room, who instantly noticed him.

"Well, if it isn't my main man Cooper! You puttin' the steal on this shindig?"

"Not really." Sly said. "We're actually here to get the Panda King for a job."

"Wait…I thought that you were strait and narrow, man. Oh, shaiza, is this a bust!?"

Sly just glared. "Remember that guy we were robbing on the last job?"

Dimitri grinned. "Heh, so M came back with the putdown and the payback, do I dig right?"

"You dig more than right, Dimitri. He got the book."

"Shaiza!" Dimitri yelled. " I feel your hurt, bro."

Sly smiled. "If you do……mind helping with the next job?"

Dimitri grinned again. "If I wasn't cruisin' this beat, I'd jump faster than a fish on the dance floor. But this contract is real sweet, with the bling and the ching, y'dig?"

Sly frowned. "Then what can I do to convince you?"

Dimitri thought for a moment, then smiled. "Dimitri puts big bets on the hot Cooper coon, Cooper wins, and Dimitri is rollin' in the bling!"

Sly grinned. "Ok, Dimitri, now you're jamming to a bling I can swing to!" He said in a mockery of Dimitri's voice.

Dimitri snarled. "Man, you cannot capture the essence of Dimitri. It's like smoke, untouchable, and everywere!"

Sly just laughed.

Ok, gang, I've looked at the win/loss scale of this champ and have come to a conclusion…we're going to have to cheat. Now, our advantage is that the next match is a free-for-all between everyone but the champ, and we've only entered Sly. The four left at the end go on to the next round. Murray, I'll need you to disguise yourself as one of the fighters, crack some skulls, and pretend to lose against Sly.

Dimitri has also informed me that the stadium uses holograms to generate battlefields. We should take advantage of this and have the Guru and Penelope take down some others. We're all set for the first job now. Good luck.

Ok, finally an update I'm sorry for the Dimitri speak, it can't be avoided.