Chapter 15

Fez looked around at the five people he had come to think of as his American family. He could not help feeling that they were all behaving rather strangely ever since Veterans Day. Of course, he understood why Kelso was acting as chilly towards Hyde as a wife whose husband forgot her birthday for Kelso had been pretty vocal about what he thought of friends who went on dates with other friends' ex-girlfriends. But why was the air so thick with sexual tension that his instinct was to hit the dirt when anyone used their lighter? The way Eric and Donna were looking at each other – he hadn't seen eyes that tortured with sexual craving since he had looked in the mirror this morning. Even more mystifying was the way Jackie and Hyde would look at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. They had come back from their date with the verdict that there was nothing but friendship between them, but if that was friendship peering out of their hungry eyes, well he wouldn't mind being that kind of "friend" to Jackie.

All in all, the mood in the basement that afternoon was much more volatile than watching an episode of "I Dream of Jeannie" usually inspires, but Fez was not going to be the one to break the ice. Only a complete idiot would try and stir up the unspoken issues surrounding them.

"You know what's so great about this show," Kelso spoke up on cue. "The way Major Healey never tries to steal Jeannie away from Tony. Even though she's all hot and stuff, and could like blink him all the popsicles and nudie magazines he wants, he never goes after her because only a really BAD friend would do such a thing, Hyde!"

"What are you talking about, my handsome hombre?" Fez asked. "Just last week Roger tried to trick Major Nelson into signing over his mastership of Jeannie."

"Well, yeah, Fez, but don't forget it didn't work and he ended up hanging over a crocodile pit for trying it on. 'Cause that's what should happen to guys who try and steal their best friend's girl. Right, Hyde?"

Hyde gave a long-suffering sigh. "Kelso, I could repeat for the hundredth time that (a) I did not steal your girl and (b) you no longer have a girl unless you're counting Laurie which would be like saying a taxi cab that everyone rides in is your own personal car. But rather than go into all that again, I think it would be more fun for all of us if I point out to Jackie and Donna that you compared Jackie to a television character who, when you look past the G rating sugar-coating, is really an Arabian sex slave."

"God, Michael, you are such a sleaze," Jackie exploded, kicking him in the shin.

"Kelso, you dill-hole," Donna yelled, slapping him upside the head. "It's guys like you that are responsible for what those poor women in Saudi Arabia go through."

"Oh Donna, I hadn't even thought of that," Jackie said. "They have to walk around in ugly black robes, covering up every sexy feature. And you know those hoods are totally flattening their hair. It's just too horrible to think about." Jackie turned accusing eyes Kelso-ward. "Is that how you think of women, Michael? Is that what you want from me?"

Kelso started to inch away from the two angry females that were boxing him in on the sofa. "Um… you know I would love to debate this issue but… what's that over there?" As Jackie and Donna followed the direction of his pointing finger he threw himself over the side of the couch, scrambled frantically to his feet and tore out the basement door.

After Kelso's escape, the remaining five teenagers turned back to the television. After 5 minutes, Eric said "Is it just me or does this show seem particularly stupid all of a sudden?"

"Maybe we need Kelso watching this with us so the collective IQ is low enough for it to seem good," Donna mused.

"Oh, so now you regret running him off? Well, your remorse comes too late," Fez declared angrily. "Good day!"

"But Fez…"

"I said good day!" he retorted with a dismissive hand gesture and then stormed out to find his friend and suggest dropping balloons filled with pudding from the freeway overpass.

"So, just the four of us, huh?" Donna said nervously. Her eyes accidentally locked with Eric's which were giving her that look that said in his mind he was doing unholy and delicious things to her. She swallowed and looked away but then her eyes fell on Jackie and Hyde which just reminded her that on top of the sexual pressure was secret-keeping pressure. She started to search the basement desperately for someone else to look at but there was no-one and the pressure was building and building until she could hear the blood pounding in her brain until…

"Oh God, Eric," she cried, lunging at him so violently he fell beneath her weight.

"Donna, you have to be more careful with Eric," Jackie remonstrated, turning a disgusted eye away from the slobberfest happening on the carpet. "You know Mrs Forman will be very upset if you break him."

"Eric, I think we should go to your room and do that… current affairs report," Donna panted, ignoring Jackie.

"What? I thought we were going to… Oh, the report!" Eric caught on. "Yeah, sure, I can think of an affair we should get all…um… current on."

"Forman, you really suck at double entendres," Hyde remarked.

"And yet I am the one with a girlfriend to drag me to my bedroom," Eric smirked as Donna took a death-grip on his arm. "Later, guys."

This was how Hyde found himself awkwardly paired with Jackie, whom he had not been alone with since Veterans Day. He noticed she did not seem exactly nonchalant herself, judging from the nervous way she was twisting a strand of her long dark tresses around her finger. Hyde frowned at the sight, reaching for a memory that remained just out of his grasp.

"So… how have you been?" Hyde asked uncertainly.

"Fine," Jackie replied, her tone uninviting.

"I haven't seen you around here much," Hyde ventured. This was Jackie's first basement visit in the three days since V day. Her absence had not been the refreshing change Hyde would have expected. It was almost like he had missed her or something.

"I'm surprised you noticed."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hyde retorted, getting pissed off by her bitchy manner.

"Well, since I'm usually invisible to you when I'm standing right in front of you, it's pretty amazing you noticed I wasn't here."

"Oh, poor Jackie, always overlooked," Hyde mocked. "God, I wish I could ignore you. If they ever market a pill to block out your shrill voice, I'll be camping out overnight at the store on the release day."

"Oh yeah?" Jackie cried furiously. "Well, while you're at that store you should… pick up some hair straightening gel 'cause curly hair is … stupid."

"Oh, go easy on me, Jackie," Hyde said, rolling his eyes. "If only scientists could harness the power in your burns they'd be able to toast bread – lightly."

"You know, I've got better things to do with my time than waste it on a burnout like you," Jackie said, rising to her feet.

"Yeah, right, why hang out here when you could be spending time with your fake boyfriend – gotta keep that imaginary romance alive, right?"

"You can talk! You think you know what's real – how about your fake girlfriend?"

Hyde's body stilled and Jackie realised she had said too much.

"What do you mean by that?" he said in a hard voice.

"Nothing," she replied, retreating to the door. "Just another one of my weak burns."

Hyde's frown remained long after Jackie left. For a girl who burned at the power of a watch battery, she could certainly say things to tear up his peace of mind. And, damn it, why did he start feeling lonely as soon as she left?

Meanwhile, upstairs in Eric's bedroom, 5 minutes after 'the Deed'…

"Jackie is WHO?" Eric yelled.