Chapter 17
Eric jumped guiltily. "What? No, she didn't!" he blurted.
"Oh, come on, Eric! You offering to do me a favour? In what bizarro universe would that ever happen?"
Eric took a hold of himself. This was Jackie, after all, the girl so gullible she had actually believed Michael Kelso was capable of being faithful. He could handle her. With a smug smirk he looked her over.
"Gee, Jackie, you know I'd love to talk this through with you but I just can't seem to drum up any interest. Now don't get blue about it, I'm still here for you - one of a band of brothers, so to speak."
Jackie's hands curled into a fists. Taking a deep breath, she said "Eric, do you know what Donna has to do if she tells anyone my secret?"
"Yeah, but she's not gonna find out that I told you because if she does, then I'll go to Hyde and tell all. Ha! Check and mate, baby!" Eric positively oozed smugness as he crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at Jackie. "You know, I'm betting you don't want Hyde to know a lot more than I want to keep my lack of discretion from Donna. In fact, this kind of information should be good for some favours from you." Eric looked over his new personal slave speculatively. "Tell you what, you wash my car for me today – in a bikini – and that'll be good for say three hours of keeping this juicy little secret from Hyde."
"Gee Eric, I guess you've really got me cornered," Jackie said in a deceptively mild voice. "The only way I could get back the advantage is if Steven finds out the truth. It's too bad I wasn't planning on telling him tomorrow night… oh wait, I was!"
Eric's face fell comically as he saw his bargaining chip swept away before his eyes. "You were? Well… well… this whole thing certainly blew up in my face!"
Jackie couldn't help laughing at Eric's vehemence as he acknowledged his own stupidity. It was just so funny how he said it like he was mad at her but his words put the blame on himself. At first Eric gawked at her unexpected reaction, until her laughter prompted a reluctant grin from himself.
"Eric, you are a giant geeky pain in the butt most times, but I've always admired the way you can laugh at yourself," Jackie admitted.
"Yeah, well, I guess for a tactless embodiment of evil, you aren't all bad," Eric returned. "I've gotta ask you, how the hell did you pull this off?"
"What exactly?"
"This whole con! Pretending to be someone totally different than who you are! And the way you've fooled Hyde – I've gotta hand it to you, Jackie, that is the burniest burn in the history of burns."
"Shut up, Eric! I didn't do all this to burn Steven," Jackie said, the worried crease returning to her forehead as she remembered her dilemma. "All I wanted to do was play the drums. Everything else just… snowballed."
"So making Hyde pant after your secret identity wasn't part of the plan?"
"I never meant for that to happen but I guess when it did… Oh, Eric, you don't understand the temptation of it. Steven hurt my feelings when he rejected me – how could I pass up the chance to pay him back for that?"
"What, you came onto Hyde?" Eric asked in surprise. "When did that happen?"
"After Michael and I broke up. He was so sweet to me, teaching me zen and letting me hang out… but when I started letting on that I liked him he told me I wasn't cool enough to be seen with."
"Ouch."
"I know. So then he shows up at the club and he's looking at me as Blue the way I so wanted him to look at me as Jackie and I was both drawn to him and angry at him at the same time. I mean, God, he's such a hypocrite, saying he could never like me that way. I kept waiting for him to see who I really am but instead he falls for an act that I copied from him. He fell for himself, Eric! And he says I'm conceited!"
"So… you kept meeting with him to punish him?"
"No! I never thought he'd see me again after the put down I gave him. You should have heard it, Eric – I told him he was too immature and uncool for me!"
"No way," Eric said, breaking into laughter. He was amazed at Jackie's nerve, serving Hyde such a slam. Maybe there was a lot more to her than the shallow princess façade she showed everybody.
"Oh yes. I figured that would settle the score and stop him coming around and blowing my cover. But then he…" Jackie blushed as she remembered what came next.
"Ooh, what did he do?" Eric asked with girlish curiosity.
"He kissed me," Jackie said on a sigh. "After that, it was pointless to deny I was attracted to him. Plus it was so good to see a side of Steven that isn't all snarky and sarcastic. And when I was Blue he would look at me like he thought I was something special... Each time we met after gigs, I kept thinking 'this time he'll see who I really am'. But he never did. Why didn't he see me, Eric?" Jackie asked piteously, turning suddenly tearful eyes on her best enemy.
"I don't know, Jackie," he answered. "I guess people see what they expect to see. You know, I was there for some of those performances – your band really kicks ass, by the way – and I never suspected for a moment that you and Blue were the same person. I mean, the thought that you would ever do something so badass as drumming – I'd sooner expect to find out Kelso was moonlighting as a brain surgeon! Damn, Jackie, why didn't you ever tell us? Have you any idea how much your street credit would have gone up in the basement if we'd known?"
"I once asked my parents if I could get a drum set – I didn't tell them I knew how to use it, of course," Jackie explained, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. "They said that girls who played the drums were all trashy sluts and no daughter of theirs would ever do such a thing. So I got into the habit of keeping my playing a dirty secret. Not to mention the way you guys talked about rock band chicks as easy bimbos didn't exactly ease my fears. I figured if you guys ever knew what I could do, you'd think I was as skanky as Laurie."
"Come on, Jackie, we'd never think that," Eric reassured. "Nobody's as skanky as Laurie."
Jackie gave a shaky laugh. "That's true."
Eric put a sympathetic arm around Jackie and she unthinkingly rested her head on his shoulder. They sat like that for a minute, Jackie drawing comfort from him, when Eric asked "So are you really telling Hyde tomorrow night?"
"Yeah."
"Look, you don't have to tell him on my account. I won't tell anyone your secret, I swear." Jackie looked into Eric's face and saw the sincerity in his eyes. She smiled gratefully.
"Thanks, Eric, but I can't keep this charade going any longer. After the way he rejected me on our Veteran's Day date, I realise that he'll never care about me the way that I.. I.." To Eric's horror Jackie's tears rushed back in full flood. "Oh Eric, I just love him so much."
"You do?" Eric said dumbly as Jackie turned her face into his polyester shirt and watered it with her tears. Tentatively he wrapped his arms around her, willing to try anything to halt the monsoon happening on his shoulder.
"Yes," she sobbed brokenly. "I thought we were getting closer to each other as Steven and Jackie and so when he found out the truth it would be a lovely surprise for him but now – oh Eric, I think he's going to be so disappointed. He won't want me included in the whole "Blue" package."
"There now Jackie," Eric soothed. "Hyde will be way too mad at you to be disappointed."
"Mad?" Jackie cried, her head popping up from Eric's shoulder. "Why would he be mad?"
"Well, you kind of played him for a sap. If it was anyone else he could maybe shrug it off but for the zenmaster to be so royally burned by the girl who can't even burn a marshmallow – now, that's gonna smart."
"Oh my God, I hadn't even thought of that," Jackie said in dismay. "He's going to kill me!"
Eric nodded in agreement. "There could be some carnage, yes. But I'm sure he'll get over it – in time." Eric thought about this statement. "a few months, perhaps – maybe a year. Hey, I'm sure by the time we move into the eighties he'll be speaking to you again."
"You know, you really suck at consolation, Eric," Jackie said shrewishly.
"I'm kidding," Eric responded, rolling his eyes. "I just said that to get you back to your normal fire-breathing self. Everything's gonna be fine, I promise."
"Okay," Jackie said in a subdued voice. She returned to the comfort of Eric's embrace for a final hug. "Thanks for listening, Eric. You're a good friend."
"No problem," Eric said. "Let's just add our friendship to your dirty little secrets list."
Jackie chuckled. "Deal."
"So, am I driving you to this rehearsal thing or what?" Eric asked, turning the key in the Vista Cruiser's ignition.
As the car rolled out of the driveway, neither Eric nor Jackie noticed the dark skinned young man in skin tight slacks staring at them through the sliding door. If she had seen the horrified yet titillated expression on Fez's face, Jackie would have had an even greater reason for apprehension.
Stay tuned for next week – the moment you've all been waiting for.