Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam SEED or DESTINY
I'm so happy for the response I have received, thank you so much! You're really making it worth the effort.
AsuCaga daisuki!
Dishonesty
Cagalli sat at the desk and tried to sort the papers, trying to decode mysterious scribbles on crumbled up paper and rewriting it and compiling everything so that in the end to only a few papers were left. Unconsciously she got a little irritated, if they had better order on things from the start she wouldn't be sitting here cleaning up after them. They were the student council for crying out loud, they were suppose to be the elite of this school but what she saw of their plans didn't make her impressed. (Cagalli didn't know but at least some of it was an outcome of the council's inability to work together). She had calmed down considerably, for good or evil Cagalli was emotional person, she had a temper and she was easily affected but that also brought along an ability to return to normal just as quickly. Now she didn't exactly fell normal the encounter with him just now, the truth be told she didn't know have to deal with it at all, so she decided to bury her feelings for the present. At the moment she felt tense though because Zala could be coming any minute and as painful it was to admit she couldn't handle him at all. That was the reason she vowed to avoid him but he seemed to have decided not to make that easy for her. Doubtfully she wondered what Zala really wanted with her, there had to be loads of girls that were cuter than her that perhaps even liked him. So why did he have harass her? She made a deep sigh, it wasn't like she could tell on him either. If she did that there would be a great scandal and then she would be forced to go home again. She knew that she had to keep a low profile but she had only been here less than a week and she already got herself enough trouble to last a whole term and crowning the work was that stupid fight that got her this detention from hell. She glanced uneasily at the door, how long had she been here? She had the papers ready now she just wanted to go home but Zala didn't make any sign of showing up. Maybe she could to the student council room and hand them over, maybe he had forgotten about her? She got up and walked out into the corridor. "Let's see, how do I get there?" she said quietly to herself.
Unfortunately Cagalli's sense of direction wasn't her strong point, it wasn't so bad that she couldn't find her way home, it just wasn't her strong point. Maybe part of it was inherited but she also had lived in very protective environment where it wasn't necessary to know the way, somebody else was always accompanying her. Countless times she snuck out to play soccer with the boys and then found herself to be lost. She had given up and seated herself under a tree in park somewhere, hugging her knees, crying feeling sorry for herself. After a while she would always hear that kind voice "Cagalli…" and when she looked up she would see that big hand reaching too her, and that gentle smile. "Let's go home." He would say.
"Un!" she would answer wiping the tears away with her little hand and then clinging on to the hand that was so much larger than her own. Usually it was already late, and the evening sun's warm orange light suited his face perfectly because his face was warm also.
"You shouldn't make your father worry so much." He would say as they were walking towards the car.
"I know, I'm sorry…" she would feel guilty. But she couldn't help herself, she felt like a bird in a cage longing to stretch its wings. She knew she was being ungrateful, but she felt like she would suffocate if she didn't get out of that house. Now that she thought about it, maybe he had understood how she felt. Her father was usually fairly strict but at those times he was always kind and smile at her with that warm but little sad smile. And he was extremely busy but he almost always made the time to come and get her home.
"Father, I'm still only causing you trouble aren't I?" Cagalli muttered to herself. But this time she was on her own, he wouldn't come and save her.
Finally after several detours she managed to reach her destination. She heard an incredibly loud voice through the closed door, "What are they doing in there anyway?"
She was about to knock but hesitated. Then she got mad at herself, since when was she afraid to these kinds of simple things? Well it was true Zala was inside that room but this actually had to be better for her because now she wouldn't have to be alone with him.
Taking a deep breath she knocked at the door and slowly opened it, "Excuse me" she tried carefully but it didn't seem to give a reaction at all. Her eyes widened when she saw the spectacle playing in front of her eyes. There was Zala wearing the same smirk as ever though it looked like it had become a little stiffer. But what surprised her was the guy with silver hair who was holding his collar and yelling him in the face. If it wasn't for the annoying screaming she felt she would have liked him immediately with the logic that the enemy of your enemy is your friend.
The others looked tired but their attention was directed at Zala and the loud guy with the weird hairstyle so they didn't notice her.
"Excuse me." She said a little louder voice than before but still no reaction. She started to get irritated, "Excuse me!" No reply. Now she was really pissed, how dared they waste her time like this?
"HEY, would you shut the hell up for a second!" she screamed with a voice that could match Yzak's.
In an instant the room became dead silent. Then, "Who the hell are you!"
"What do you care? Who the hell are you?" Cagalli answered irritated as she was.
"WHAT!"
"I know you. You're Miri's new friend, Cagalli right?" A guy with relaxed voice said.
"Yeah," Cagalli answered and looked at him and she thought she recognised him, "Eh, you're Dearka right? I've seen you in our classroom."
"I'm flattered you remember my name. You really saved us from Yzak's screaming just now, it was getting a little too much, thanks." Dearka smiled and Yzak looked like he was going to complain but he was interrupted by Cagalli,
"Aha so his name is Yzak." Cagalli nodded and looked at Yzak.
"Yzak Joule, vice president of the student council and don't you forget it." Yzak said abruptly.
"Ok…"
"I'm Nicol, I'm actually a first year. Nice to meet you Cagalli."
"Yeah, me too." Cagalli instantly liked him, it was nice to know that there were people in the student council that weren't complete jerks.
"Well if everybody is going to introduce themselves I might as well, I'm Rusty."
"Hi, I'm Cagalli."
"The name is Heine, I'm the secretary. Say Cagalli you were the one who beat up the Kira-fan club right? You're pretty tough aren't you?"
"Uh, well. It was self defence."
"I'm not blaming you, say how about a date?"
"What!"
"Just kidding, just kidding you're with Yamato right?"
"Well… that isn't really… Wait a minute, why do I have to tell you!" Cagalli blushed and tried to avoid answering the question. She didn't know what she felt about Kira, well she had only seen him as a friend but everyone else seemed to think they were together.
"Cute!" Heine said.
"Yes Cagalli really is a cute girl." Nicol agreed.
"Stop calling me that!" Cagalli blushed even more.
"But still…it's true!" Heine exclaimed happily.
"Anyway how come there're only guys in the student council? Why aren't there any girls?" Cagalli didn't want the subject to continue any further.
"Now that you mention it, it feels pretty lonely to be surrounded by only guys. Aaa, wouldn't be great if Cagalli was in the it too. The closest thing we have to a girl is Athrun here, but I'm afraid that's not doing it for me."
Cagallli dared to cast an eye on Athrun and he looked a little irritated so maybe even he could loose his cool? Maybe this was his weak point? Well she could relate because she was often mistaken for a boy when she was not wearing school uniform. "Wait a minute, what am I thinking? There is no way I have anything in common with that bastard. Keh, he's supposed to be a guy but he looks like a woman, pathetic. He would make a great transvestite though."
"By the way, you haven't said anything Athrun aren't you going to introduce yourself?"
"I don't need an introduction, I'm sorry to say I've already met him. Oi Zala, I'm finished," She said and handed him the old monstrous pile and the new much reduced pile, "Can I go home now?" With the comfort of being surrounded by the others she looked him straight in the eye. And she saw how his countenance turned to a smirk again. She was seething again, was it possible to hate someone more than she hated him?
"Alright Yula, you can go home now. If I see anything that needs corrections I'll contact you."
She didn't like the sound of that, if there weren't any flaws he probably would make one up just to harass her. But that didn't matter right now, she just wanted to go home.
"Well then, Mr. Zala, everyone, I'll take my leave. Please excuse me." She said and made a light bow when raised her head she caught a glimpse of Zala and again and he looked irritated again. As she walked towards her locker she was thinking about his reaction. Maybe, just maybe she found out something. Something she could tackle Zala with, he liked to tease and harass her but what if he didn't get any reaction? What would happen if she was cold and super-polite instead of getting angry? It would surely be difficult because it went against her nature but it in this case it would definitely be worth a try.
I
"Ok, what was that about Athrun? Why did she have business with you? And above all she seems to hate your guts." Dearka asked.
"Hmm, a girl that hates Athrun Zala? Interesting." Yzak said thoughtfully.
"Don't forget she's dating Kira." Heine laughed.
"Bastard I didn't mean it like that!"
"Well yeah, Fllay would beat the crap out of you if you did." Dearka grinned.
"Why the hell would I care what that woman thinks!" Yzak screamed angrily trying to hide the slight colouring of his cheeks which, of course, didn't fool anyone.
Athrun was starting to get a headache, why were they never doing the things they were supposed to do? How long was he supposed to be with these people? Couldn't everybody shut up? Frankly he was irritated, he wasn't prepared for the fact that Yula might come here. He should have gone there sooner but he had thought it would be fun to let her wait a little longer. A miscalculation you could say, he hadn't wanted the others to know what she was doing. Well it wasn't like the situation was irreparable, after all he had Mr. Fllaga as an alibi. He was confident that Yula wouldn't snitch on him either, of course he had no proof but he had a gut feeling that she wouldn't. That kiss… it wasn't like he was like he was the only one doing it, she seemed to enjoy it, albeit most unwillingly. He chuckled a little to himself, he was pretty sure he had her. Just one thing bothered him, he didn't like the way she left. That reaction wasn't half as funny as her anger eruptions.
"Athrun, you didn't answer the question."
"There is a simple answer to the first question, Mr. Fllaga asked me to take care of her detention so I made her clean up some of our stuff, hence the documents. Why she doesn't seem to like me I can only guess, but I don't really care it's not like she's anything special." Athrun said with a bored look on his face.
"Do you have holes for eyes? I mean she's adorably cute!"
"Hee, unfriendly as usual Athrun. I'm telling you, you're going to regret it someday."
"Whatever." Athrun said and shrugged, "More importantly if you want to be able to go home today we'd better get this done. Unexpectedly it seems like Miss Yula did a pretty good job so that'll save us some time."
"Thank you Cagalli-cutie, you saved us!" Heine exclaimed.
"Uh, she's not here anymore you know." Rusty said.
"I know I just wanted to say it."
I
I
Cagalli locked the door behind her, and sank to the floor. She stayed sitting there for who knows how long, it was as if all she had been drained of all energy and now she was just staring at the floor with empty eyes. She had pushed away her feelings to get out of there, with all the effort she could muster she had done what it took, because she was good at pushing herself but now she felt emotionally drained. It had become dark before she got home but she hadn't bothered to turn on the lights, it was better that way because she felt like she could hide in the dark.
Finally she got up and went to the bathroom, turned on the lights and looked at the reflection in the mirror and it was like it belonged to another person, blank eyes staring back at her. She started to brush her teeth, she wanted to get clean, she wanted to brush away the remains of him. But it wouldn't work, she brushed for half an hour and she started to bleed again, but she didn't feel any cleaner, so eventually she gave up. She didn't bother to shower because she knew it wouldn't help. She didn't bother to eat because she wasn't hungry. She decided to go to bed, if she tried to sleep maybe she would feel better tomorrow.
I
Cagalli sat in an empty classroom, she was so stupid why had she got herself into detention again? The orange light of dusk was filling the room, it was such a warm colour so why did it feel so cold? Well it's true that a classroom shouldn't be so empty and she felt a little lonely. She looked expectantly at the door wouldn't he come soon? She scribbled a little in her notebook when she heard the door opened. He stood there as he had done before, with a smug grin on his face. The flowing colour was colouring his face, it was a warm colour but his face was cold, she felt it. Come to think of it she had never seen him smile an honest smile, not once. Probably he wasn't even capable but she didn't care.
She knew that he wanted it so she pretended to be angry, "You again! Don't you have anything better to do than harass me?" She glared at him.
"No, not really." He sniggered.
She got up from her chair and walked against him, "Just because you're the president of the student council and the teacher told you take care of my detention don't give you right to do what you want."
"Well perhaps, but I know that you want it, am I wrong?" He asked amused.
"Yeah, bastard you're wrong!"
"You're a liar, Cagalli…" He grabbed her wrist and pushed her against the wall.
A leg was pushed between hers and she felt the firm grip around her wrists tightening as he pressed them against the wall and emerald green eyes was glimmering dangerously close. She opened her mouth to protest just because she should, but it was filled with his, soft lips and a tongue was finding its way into her mouth. Instinctively she moved her tongue with his and a fever was spreading violently throughout her body to an intensity she had never felt before almost like intoxication, a simple thing like breathing became difficult to do and her mind seemed to be emptied of thoughts. They repeated the kiss over and over and gradually the grip around her wrists loosened, they must be free now, she absentmindedly thought.
She stiffened, two hands were placed on her thighs and they were moving steadily upwards beneath her skirt. She shivered but it was out of pleasure.
"You're feeling it don't you Cagalli? You can't hide it for me..." That voice, she couldn't fight against it nor did she want to, it was provocative but somewhere stained with desire. That orange light foreboding the night was filling the classroom. His long slender fingers moving.
"OUUUAAH!" Cagalli screamed. The orange was gone and it now was totally dark around her. After a while she got used to it and she recognised it as her own room and her own bed. Suddenly she felt sick and rushed to bathroom and threw up, afterwards she sat on the floor in her bathroom panting, exhausted.
She was relived, it had only been a nightmare, but at the same time she felt very disturbed because it had felt so real. And disgustingly enough she could still feel the lingering effects of it, the inside of her body was still feverish. She brushed her teeth again to get rid of the taste of vomit and took a shower to cool down and wash away the dirty feeling. She went back to the bedroom and looked at the time. It was 3.00 am. She tried in vain to go to sleep again, but sleep wouldn't come.
I
I
"Come on Cagalli, it'll be fun." Miriallia tried to cheer her up.
"Yeah, you don't have to look like we're bringing you to the guillotine, the fact is that you never had a boyfriend and you want to change that right? In that case this will help you on the way. And it will be fun, at least for us." Fllay added with an evil smile.
"I get it." Cagalli answered sulkily.
So they headed to the shopping district where Fllay and Miriallia dragged Cagalli through countless of shops. At first she resisted their picks but after a while she just followed the flow because it was too exhausting to keep up with Fllay's pace otherwise. How could they have so much energy, how many stores could they go through before they passed out? In the end she ended up with a whole bunch of bags containing things she never had bought in her entire life. Come to think of it she really hadn't been shopping much at all before she came here. Anyway she had ended up quite a few new things. First they had bought clothes, a short skirt, jeans but not the kind of loose jeans that Cagalli was accustomed to but tight, girly jeans and a few tight shirts that Fllay said looked sexy and to match open sandals with a little heel. Later they had bought perfume, and a little make-up like lip-gloss and mascara and Fllay had instructed her how to use it.
It had been fun though, Cagalli had never had any girl friends before therefore it wasn't strange that she hadn't done things like this before. It felt like there were a lot of things that she had missed out on, so it had been fun and the outfit would have looked cute if some else had worn it. But secretly she didn't have any intention to wear it she just followed because she thought it would make them happy. It was a good thing money wasn't an issue because it had cost quite a bit even Cagalli could understand that. Fllay's daddy was a famous politician and because his guilty conscious he couldn't see her so much he had always let her get what she wanted. Leaving Fllay a bit spoiled and perhaps a lack of understanding that others might not have the same financial situation as her as Cagalli understood it.
"Ahhhh I'm tired." Mirallia sighed as they seated themselves in a café.
"Isn't that supposed to be my line? You two really are trying to killing me. I wonder if I don't prefer the guillotine to this slow torture to death, you know I have a game tomorrow don't you?" Cagalli said not totally honestly but she couldn't resist complaining a little.
"Oh shut up Cagalli, I know you had a good time." Fllay answered back.
"But Fllay, are you trying to ruin me? I don't think I can afford go shopping with you too often."
"When you don't have anything of course it's gonna cost a little, why do you bother about such small details?"
"I have to agree with Cagalli on this one though, not every one has unlimited access to papa's credit card."
"I know that! But Cagalli didn't say anything…" Fllay said a little put off.
"It's OK, if I didn't have the money I wouldn't have bought it."
"See?" Fllay gave Miriallia a look full of meaning.
Cagalli decided to change the subject, "I saw Dearka the yesterday."
"So? You saw him today to when he was pestering me in our classroom as usual." Miriallia said with sulky look on her face.
"I mean I saw him when I had detention yesterday, I didn't know he was in the student council."
"Yes he is, and bunch of other hopeless idiots too, some are worse than others and louder, you'd think your eardrums would burst when he open his mouth."
"Ah! That must be Yzak." Cagalli recognised the description.
"Hahaha, that's right. Making a fool of himself as usual right?" Fllay laughed.
"Making a fool of himself… I don't know if I would say that but I was a bit surprised. I don't know if I'm in a position where I can say this about others but he seemed to be a little violent."
"Fllay you're always saying bad things about him, I really don't know why you want be with him."
"Eh?" Cagalli said with a slightly stupid look on her face, "You're into that Yzak?"
"Well yeah, he may be an idiot. But he has his good sides too. He's honest, he's cute despite the hairstyle, he has money."
"Yeah, and he's a momma's boy."
"True, but at least I have moved on, and that's more than I can say about you." Fllay retorted.
"Moved on?" Cagalli asked.
"Yeah, Miri…"
"Hey Fllay!"
"It's all right to tell Cagalli, right?"
"It's OK, if you don't want to tell me you don't have to." Cagalli, thought about her own problems and she hadn't the smallest intention of sharing them with her newfound friends so she had understanding for Miriallia.
"It's all right you can tell her." Miriallia said after a little hesitation.
Miriallia had been childhood friends with boy named Tolle, not only that their parents were friends too. And before they knew it friendship had turned to love and from second year in junior high school they started dating. Everybody thought it was a great thing, their parents too.
"I thought it was the obvious thing to do because it was like so obvious that they had a crush on each other so why not go for it?"
When it was time for high school it turned out so that they were going to different schools and it was only natural they less of each other. She had noticed that he had grown a little distant and that the time he had for her grew lesser and lesser. Miriallia didn't think much of it though because she too was very busy with school and there was much more homework than before.
Then one Saturday when Tolle had cancelled their date because he said he had to study for a test, Miriallia decided to go out shopping with Fllay instead. When they sat in a café to rest from the effort just like they were doing now, Miriallia cast an eye outside the window where she saw Tolle talking with another girl. He was smiling, he looked at the girl with gentle eyes. And it hurt, she remembered that look, it was like a far away dream. She knew he used to look at her that way but how long was it since the last time, now he only looked at her irritatingly. Like she was in the way, so she thought. Now she understood why, he was seeing someone else, he had been lying to her all this time. Tears started to fall silently as she watched him laugh and lean forward and place a kiss on the girl's cheek.
Fllay noticed that Miriallia looked strange, "Miri… why are you crying?" When she didn't answer Fllay tried to find whatever she was looking at, her gaze wandering and suddenly stopped when she saw Tolle. She looked at Miriallia again and felt incredible rage when she saw her face filled with sadness.
"That cheating son-of-a-bitch bastard, I'm gonna punch him in the face." Fllay got off her chair abruptly but was hindered by Miriallia gripping her wrist.
"Fllay, don't…" Miriallia looked at her with begging eyes. But Fllay shook off her hand, "Like hell I won't, and you're coming with me! You have to confront him now in front of that girl so she'll know!" A fuming Fllay forcibly dragged Miriallia out of the café.
"You! What the hell are you doing?" Fllay pushed Tolle shoulders.
"Eh" When Tolle saw them his face turned ash grey, "Miri…"
"What is this, Tolle, tell me that this is a misunderstanding. Don't say you have been lying to me all this time."
"Miri, I…" He started hesitantly but was interrupted by the unknown girl.
"Tolle who's that girl! What is she to you?" she demanded to know.
"She's just a childhood friend, but we're not so close any more."
"What, you lying son-of-a-bitch! She's your fuckin' girlfriend!" Fllay screamed, exploding with anger.
"What does she mean by "girlfriend", explain now" the girl said.
"Who are you, is what I want to know." Fllay spat out.
"She's my girl friend." Tolle cut in, "I'm sorry, I meant to tell you, I didn't want for you to find it out like this."
"So it's true…" Miriallia said while never stopping tears were running down her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, I hope we still can be friends."
"Friends? Sure." Miriallia answered with a hollow voice.
"Well I'll see you around…"
"Yeah"
Tolle took the girls hand and started to walk away. Miriallia couldn't do anything but watch, she could nothing but stare as the boy she had known since they were born, the first boy she loved were walking away. She heard a distant voice calling her back to reality, "Miri! Miri! Are you listening?"
"What Fllay?"
"Not "What Fllay", the question is: are you really going to let him get away like this?"
"What can I do, he's clearly dumped me."
"Well, are you going to let him off so easily?
"I don't want to get revenge, I just want to forget about him."
"I won't force you, but still I think he's getting off way to easy."
"Let's just go home now."
I haven't talk to him once since then, I don't answer the phone when he calls, he has been a few times to my house but my mom won't let him in because I don't want to see him. I didn't just loose a boyfriend, I lost my best friend. I was really stupid." Miriallia concluded the story.
"I'm so sorry Miriallia" Cagalli said.
"Why are you apologising? It's not like you have something wrong." Seeing Cagalli's worried look she continued, "You don't have to worry about me, I'm totally over him."
"…" Cagalli didn't know what to say, she felt a sting of guilty conscience. She almost wished that she hadn't been told about this because it reminded her on how much she wasn't telling them. Miriallia trusted her so much that she would let her know this and she didn't put any trust in them at all. But it couldn't be helped, if she wanted to stay in school and keep them as friends she had to keep her secrets to herself. When she said sorry she sort of apologised for keeping them out, but that, Miriallia had no idea of.
"That's why I don't want anything to do with that womanizing hentai Dearka."
"Oh, come on Miri, he's obviously mad about you and he's kind of cute despite being the looser he is."
"Are you supporting him or not?"
"Who knows?" Fllay laughed.
"I think I better be getting home now. I'm really tired and I have a game tomorrow so." Cagalli changed the subject because she felt like she would collapse any minute now.
"Now that you mention it you look pale, are you sure you're alright?" Miriallia said worrying a little.
"I'm fine, it's just that I couldn't sleep very well last night."
"Ok, let's go then. And we'll come and cheer for you tomorrow!" Fllay said.
"Eh, but you don't have to do that. It's Saturday you probably have better things to do."
"Don't worry about it, we'll definitely come!"
"Thanks" Cagalli was a little touched by thier kindness, she definitely had found great friends.
I
It was Saturday, Cagalli woke up early not because of the soccer game she had today. She had dreamt that dream again, that light again and that smile again and that feverish feeling in her body again. It confused her to no end, in the dream she wanted him so bad she could cry but in reality she hated him right? Why was she having dreams like this? Anyway Zala couldn't like her, he didn't treat her as if he liked her. And his smile wasn't honest, but why did she felt like the kiss was? If he didn't like her why did he kiss her?
Questions were spinning inside her head, but she couldn't find any answers. But the biggest question was the weird feeling in her stomach she had every time she thought about him, when she thought about those piercing green eyes that seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. And she hated him for it. And she hated herself for feeling this way.