Sorry about last time, but I was depressed. I usually always get depressed (actually I'm feeling a little depressed right now) when I'm finished with a chapter and finally upload it but the last time it was worse than usual. Maybe a sign that I put too many hours into writing it and I'm wasting my life away when I should be studying. So I honestly thought I would end it with this chapter, well actually I planned to end it as things were but I got some very encouraging words that lifted my spirit from my reviewers so I decided to keep going. Thank you very much, this is dedicated to you.

I think I make a stupid mistake when I linked to my homepage, making it hard to find. But now I've fixed a new link that I think will be easier to find. If you couldn't find it before and still want to check out the other version of part a. go to my profile-page and I think you will find the link without problem this time.

As you may or may not have understood this is a continuation of the last chapter, but at here you can't split a chapter in two so it will be called chapter 7 anyway. Not that it matters that much.

I'm Only into This to Enjoy b.

When she stood in the shower Athrun came in to the bathroom, "I'll leave your clothes here." He said and left again. When she was finished she saw that, just as he had said, her clothes were placed at the bench outside the shower. On top of the little pile were underwear she didn't recognize, where her own was she had no idea but she didn't want to go out there without clothes so she sighed and put them on.

"Hey where are my underwear?" she said as she came out of the bathroom.

"They're in the laundry, I figured you didn't want to put on old ones after you'd showered."

"Well, thank you but how come you have girls' underwear at home?"

"Wouldn't you want to know?" He said with a suspicious-looking smile.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You can interpret it in any way you like. Anyway I'm just going to take a quick shower then I'll cook something. You're hungry right?"

"I'm not particularly hungry…" she said but an unmistakable sound from her stomach told otherwise.

"Hehehe, I'll take that as a yes." Athrun chuckled, how typical of Cagalli, but that was a side of her that was cute he thought.

"What's so funny? Maybe I had forgotten that I was hungry. I can't help it can I?"

"Nothing, just wait here, I won't take long." He said still chuckling as he turned his back to her and went into the bathroom.

There was no sign left of what they had just had been doing. The sheets were changed and the bed was tidily made, the clothes that had been scattered on the floor weren't there any more. But in Cagalli's mind it was still there and she blushed when she thought of how she had been acting, it was if she wasn't control of her own body. It was obvious that Athrun had controlled everything but that wasn't so strange because he must have been with loads of girls and for her this was her first time. The thought of him being with another clouded her mind, she didn't want to think about it but the thought stuck and even if she tried to brush it off it was there in the background gnawing. But she hadn't thought she would be so passive, that wasn't like her at all. In the beginning she had tried but soon Athrun had dominated her completely and that was a little irritating. But the fault wasn't entirely his either, she had chickened out. Naturally she had placed her arms around his back but from there they didn't go anywhere. She was afraid to touch, somehow it was even more difficult that being touched. So she had just held on to him for all she was worth. But now she wasn't a virgin anymore, next time she would definitely show him!

"Cagalli?" Athrun's voice woke her up from her brooding.

"Eh?" she looked up at Athrun who stood right in front of her wearing jeans and t-shirt. Come to think of it, she hadn't seen him in any other clothes than the school uniform so it felt a little unfamiliar. But he looked good in it of course, a little more relaxed.

"Are you coming?"

"Eh?"

"You're hungry, right? Let's go to the kitchen."

"Mm, yeah." She said and followed him without saying anymore.

In the kitchen Athrun started to pick out groceries from the refrigerator. Cagalli watched in amazement, he was actually going to cook! She could hardly believe it.

"I had no idea you could cook. I would have thought you'd have someone employed to do that."

"Normally, that would be the case I guess but cooking is a little hobby of mine so I usually do it myself. And besides, I'm rather picky, and if I make it myself I know it will be the way I like it. We have people who take care of the cleaning and laundry a few times a week but because it's basically just me who lives here it's doesn't take much."

"That's pretty impressive, I can't cook at all. I haven't cooked anything more advanced than ramen." She said as she interestedly watched what he was doing.

"Your mom does everything does she?" he said while he started to skilfully cut vegetables into small pieces.

"No, we had cook."

"You had a cook?"

"At home we have a cook but I live in my own flat right now."

"Hmm, that will save us some trouble…"

"What do you mean?"

"I was just wondering how we were going to convince your parents to stay over night." Athrun turned and smiled at her with that irritating teasing smile.

"Wha-! Who says I'm going to stay over?" Cagalli looked horrified.

"You don't seriously expect me to let you go home by yourself this late?"

"Why not? It's not that late, and besides I can take a taxi."

"Cagalli…I don't mean to be sexist or anything, but you should be more aware that you are a girl." He put the vegetables in a frying pan and it started to sizzle. He stirred by holding the pan and tossing it.

"I know I'm a girl (it's just everybody else who mistake me for a boy.)"

"Do you really? And in those clothes, I don't think there is anybody on this planet who'll mistake you for a guy. It's Friday night, there are loads of people out and not everyone is nice you know. And as a girl you especially shouldn't go home alone." He put pasta into the boiling water.

"I said I'll take a taxi."

"What makes you think you can trust the taxi-driver?

"Why trust anyone at all? If you think like that?"

"I don't."

"Sigh, if you're so worried why don't you escort me home then?"

"I can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because I want you to stay here."

"!" that really sounded suspicious to Cagalli but she couldn't find the words.

"Don't worry I won't do anything. And besides it doesn't matter where you sleep, it's not like someone's waiting for you at home." He continued to try to convince her.

"…Ok, I'll stay." Cagalli resigned.

"Great." He grinned.

"But you got to promise not to do anything."

"I won't, at least not today."

"That doesn't exactly convince me." She looked at him incredulously.

"What? I'm hurt, it sounds like you don't want me." He faked a hurt look

"…it not like that. I don't think I'm ready to do it again yet, I mean physically." She flushed violently.

"That's why I said I won't do anything. You don't have a very high opinion of me do you?"

Cagalli realised something, she was always badmouthing him but she didn't mean anything by it, it was just how she was. Well from the beginning she did mean it but that felt like a long time ago now. Maybe he was joking but what if she really hurt him? What if she said too much? Would he hate her? "…I'm sorry I doubted you." Cagalli said looking a little ashamed.

Athrun was surprised, it wasn't the reaction he had expected at all. He had just been joking with her like he always did and she was supposed to say something in the same line. But now she said something that sounded like she was honestly sorry and it made him feel uncomfortable. Maybe it reminded him that he wasn't exactly honest with his intentions, not that he had promised her anything but he hadn't played with open cards either.

He decided to joke it away, "Hehehe, who said you should trust me?" he put knifes and forks on the table.

"Now you're making fun of me."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"Cut it out will you, I'm trying to be serious here!"

Hai, hai, here you go." He said and put a plate before here.

"Wow, you made this? It smells great." Cagalli forgot their argument when she looked at the plate in front of her, it really looked impressive.

"You haven't tasted it yet. Here, have some salad." He handed her a bowl with salad as he sat down in front of her.

"Salad?" Cagalli said with a terrified look on her face.

"Yeah, haven't mother told you to eat your salad?"

"No, but Myrna kept nagging on me about it all the time."

"Well she's right."

"Sometimes you're strangely grown up."

"I've always liked salad."

"Really, I've always did everything I could to avoid it."

"Did it work?" he asked.

"Unfortunately no, she always threatened that I wouldn't get any desert if I didn't eat it."

"Hehehe, maybe I should do the same."

"You won't have to, I'll taste some now that you've taken the trouble to fix me all this."

"You should, maybe it tastes better than you think. Oh yeah, what do you want to drink? I have juice, soda, wine…beer…"

"Eh, water is fine." Cagalli's face froze a little when she heard "beer".

"I prefer water too." He got up and fetched a water bottle from the fridge and two glasses.

"You better eat before it gets cold."

Cagalli tasted it, "It's really good!"

"I'm glad you liked it, actually there's no meat in it, only vegetables."

"That makes it even more impressive. Really is there anything you can't do?"

"Hmm, not that I can think of." He said jokingly.

"I bet there isn't." Cagalli said half seriously half jokingly.

They sat and ate and talked for a while, and they mood between them was strangely relaxed. Considering they were two people who just had sex and really didn't know that much about each other.

"So Athrun, what is your favourite food?"

"That's easily Kira's mom's rolled cabbage."

"Ewww." Cagalli made an ugly face.

"You don't like rolled cabbage?"

"I absolutely hate it, cooked cabbage doesn't really do it for me."

"So, what's your favourite food then?"

"Kebab!"

"…That's so disgusting." Athrun said with a frown on his face before he took a sip of water.

"You don't like kebab, I can't believe you! It's so good with chilli sauce."

"I can't think of any food that is more unhygienic, really gross."

"So we both hate each other's favourite food."

"Seems like it." Athrun said and they looked at each other. The mouth on both of them started twitching and they burst out laughing.

"Hahahahehe, that's pretty funny."

"Hahaha, yeah it is."

"Hehehe, by the way, you've eaten your salad so I guess I have to reward you. I think I have some ice cream somewhere..."

"I'd love to have some!" Cagalli said looking almost like an excited puppy, if she had a tail it would surely wag right now Athrun thought amused.

"Ice cream it is." Athrun cleared the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher. The dished from the cooking was already magically gone and the worktop and sink was perfectly cleaned.

"I feel like I should help with something, I'm just sitting here on my butt doing nothing."

"Don't worry about it, it's nothing I can't handle myself. It's the least I can do."

"If you put it that way…"

"Do you want coffee or tea or something?"

"Eh, isn't a bit late for that?" Cagalli asked while she wondered how much the clock really was.

"I'm having some anyway."

"In that case, I'll have whatever you're having."

"Coffee it is then."

Athrun fixed them coffee and ice cream for Cagalli.

"Aren't you having any ice cream?" Cagalli asked surprised.

"No, I'm not particularly fond sugary things."

"I didn't know such people existed." Cagalli said amazed.

"Why is that?"

"Well you know, aren't we genetically predisposed to like sugar because it contains so much energy?"

"I don't know, I won't say I hate it. I'm just not fond of it that's all."

"So there aren't any sweets you like?"

"Maybe dark chocolate, but even that isn't a favourite."

"You're strange."

"You too."

They laughed again and Athrun drank his black coffee while Cagalli enjoyed her ice cream. After when Athrun cleared the dishes Cagalli suddenly started to feel the effect of an overwhelming day and she found it hard to keep her eyes open.

"You look tired." Athrun observed.

"Mm, yeah…" she said while she dropped off just to wake up again and shake her head to keep awake.

"Come on let's get you to bed."

"…un."

After they had brushed their teeth, they both lay in Athrun's bed again, she wore a borrowed t-shirt. It felt strange. Like they were a couple. But the truth was they weren't. Even though she was this tired she couldn't sleep in this unfamiliar room, in this bed, beside boy she was in love with even if it was unrequited feelings.

Suddenly she felt enormously sad, her eyes burned of hold backed tears. She turned her back to him and buried her face in the pillow so he wouldn't notice. She silently wept while she was thinking about what she was doing here. It still hurt, she hadn't imagined that it would hurt so much. As if it was a sign that she had made a mistake, it was the price to pay for the sin she just committed. But at the same time she couldn't imagine have done anything differently, she had followed her emotions and they had led her here. And she thought she was prepared to face the consequences. She could hear Athrun's breathing had become heavy, he was sleeping. She could relax a little and after a while she too fell into sleep.

I

I

A warm smile. And a sad nostalgic feeling overwhelmed him, he knew what it was, it was his mother. He slowly had begun to forget how she looked but now the image was clear. She looked like she always did, she looked a lot like him, the same hair colour and the same eye colour. It was strange that he could see her so distinctly because this had to be a dream because mother was…

If his mother was the same he was different, he was small enough to sit in her lap. He noticed his cheeks where wet and his vision was blurred, what was it? He wiped his eyes with his little hands, tears. How long was it since he cried?

Even from the beginning he wasn't a child who wept much on the contrary he was often called expressionless and inhibited when in reality he was just very shy. He didn't know any other kids and he had learnt early not to be in his parents' way, because he didn't want to be a burden them with his problems when they came home tired from work. Both his mother and father worked very hard, he with the company and she with her research. And often he had already been put to bed by the nanny before they came home. But he would be awake and listen for sounds of them coming home, and when he heard footsteps in the corridor outside his room he would pretend to be asleep so that his mother wouldn't worry when she opened the door to his room to check up on him.

At school, from the beginning the boys had been provoked by his expressionless face taking it for arrogance and tried to bully him. But Athrun being who he was, not only intelligent but also athletic beat up every one who tried to bully him which landed him in a lot of trouble and countless slaps in the face by his father. But after a while things settled down and they started to avoid him instead. In the first whole year he barely spoke a word unless spoken to by the teacher. And soon the teacher, he didn't know if it was out of insecurity because she didn't know how to deal with him, stopped asking him questions. And he was thankful for it, he told himself that he just wanted to be left alone, it was much easier that way. He couldn't handle girls they giggled every time he happened to look at them so he stopped looking at them. Still he could feel their eyes and hear their whispers but none of them dared to actually speak to him luckily.

But all that changed in the second year, when a new boy came to their class. He was seated at the empty bench in the back of the classroom beside Athrun.

"Hi I'm Kira, what's your name?" The boy turned to him and said and smiled a gentle smile.

"…" Athrun looked at Kira but then looked away without answering. Honestly he wanted to answer but he couldn't bring himself to do it he was too used to not talking at school, it was as if he had forgotten how to speak. He couldn't bring himself to break out of the role he was stuck in.

"Eh?" Kira made surprised sound.

Another boy turned to Kira, "It's Kira right? Don't mind him he doesn't talk to anyone, just leave him to himself. I'm Sai by the way."

"Why doesn't he talk to anyone?" Kira looked at Athrun interestedly.

"No one knows really. He used to fight a lot before but now he avoids everyone."

"Hmm…" Kira said thoughtfully.

Athrun got a little irritated, they were talking about him and he was sitting right there for God's sake. Even if he didn't talk he wasn't retarded. And anyway wasn't it the other way around? Wasn't it the other kids who started to avoid him, they hadn't given him a chance from the beginning. Maybe Sai hadn't bullied him but he hadn't tried to be his friend either, he had no right talk about him like that, but Sai was right about one thing: He didn't know anything, nobody knew anything about him. But even if he got angry Athrun didn't say anything, he just pretended that he didn't hear and continued to look out the window.

The scene changed. He was alone. He suddenly became extremely anxious: where had mother gone? He had bad premonition, he knew that he had to find mother and warn her or else something terrible would happen. He ran from room to room in their too big house, but she was nowhere to be found. He even looked in closets and under beds but she wasn't there. The corridor he ran through seemed to become longer and longer when he tried to reach the last room, the door stood ajar and light was leaking into the dark corridor, she had to be there. But no matter how much he tried he never reached it, instead he found himself facing his father who had just come in from the outside and stood by the front door with his outdoor clothes still on. Athrun looked confusedly at his father, why was he home so early? His father looked even more stern than usual and Athrun began to worry if he had done something wrong that he didn't know about. When he learned the truth he would have done anything to make it so. His father gave him a cold look and then immediately turned away his eyes as if he was disgusted.

But nothing could have prepared Athrun for what his father said next, that was the moment when his world fell apart.

"Athrun, your mother's dead."

"…" time stopped. He couldn't think, he couldn't speak, he couldn't grasp the meaning of that simple but cruel sentence.

His father turned his back to him and started to take of his shoes and coat when opened his mouth again, "Needless to say, this is not an excuse for you to neglect school, I won't except anything but the best." Without giving him a second look his father passed him and shut himself inside his study.

Left in the hall, was Athrun alone.

I

I

I

I

"Haa…haa…haa…haa." Athrun woke up suddenly violently. He was gasping for breath like he had been running full speed and he felt a dull pain in his chest. What a dream. It had had been years since he dreamt about his mother, before he had had nightmares about it every night but nowadays he hardly dreamed anything. Cold sweat on his forehead, it felt unpleasant. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. He took a few deep breaths to calm down. Moonlight was shining in through the window, lighting the room in a weak dreary colour.

"nng…" he heard someone grunt, and he looked down and he saw Cagalli wipe the sleep out of her eyes.

"Athrun? What's wrong?" She said in a gentle voice he never had heard before, well mostly she was screaming at him. She almost looked worried and for a second he was nearly tempted to tell her but immediately thought better of it.

She sat up and reached her hand to his cheek but he brushed it away. To conceal his confusion he spoke, "Nothing. I'm going to get some water, do you want any?" as he got out of bed.

"Eh? Mm." she said a little surprised.

"I'll be right back." He said and hurried out. He's feelings were rather complicated at the moment, he felt strangely relaxed with Cagalli but at the same time he had wanted to get away from those big amber eyes that was looking straight at him, it almost felt like they were piercing right through him. He didn't want her to come too close.

Wearing only boxers he reached the kitchen, opened the fridge took out a bottle of water poured up two glasses. It was a little cold, and his bare skin was covered with goose bumps, maybe he should have worn a t-shirt? He hesitated a moment while he stood in front of the open refrigerator door, he felt a little tense about returning to his room with Cagalli inside it, in the same bed. But then shook his head, since when did he get intimidated by a little girl? It wouldn't happen. He closed the door, took the glasses with him up to his room.

Cagalli laid on her back staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. She couldn't get Athrun's expression out of her head. She raised her head and looked around the room, it felt more like a hotel room than somebody's home. It was bare, almost devoid of personal things. Everything looked like it was on exactly the place it supposed to be, except her clothes but they were neatly folded on a chair. They didn't belong to the order here, like she perhaps. She thought about what he had said earlier, about his father, about his mother. But Cagalli understood how it felt, she understood so much that it hurt.

She had cursed many times of being born a girl, still if you looked at it objectively there were many disadvantages with being a girl. It wasn't just the difference in physical strength, although annoying she had come to accept nothing could be done about that (almost). But Cagalli had a hard time accepting that the role that she as a girl was expected to fill, not to think about herself, be cute and sweet and please everyone. And eventually get married and live to support some man and bear children. She had wanted to be valued for being the person she was without having to constantly sacrifice her own dreams in order to fulfil someone else's. But somehow she felt thankful anyway now, maybe it was love that made her change her mind. Maybe love had made her weaker, but she felt she wanted to help him. Athrun was a lonely person and maybe that was the part of the reason she was subconsciously drawn to him, the person shared the same emptiness as herself.

"Here." A familiar voice said. She wondered how she could have thought that voice was disagreeable now when it sounded so pleasant. She looked up at the owner, he was holding a glass of water in front of her. She accepted it, "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He simply said then the both of them fell into silence, they just drank their water. She didn't have the guts to look at him directly, she still wasn't used to see a man without clothes. And she had noticed that if she looked she had a tendency to stare. Because he looked so perfect she couldn't help to admire him. It was not that he had particularly big muscles, it was the total lack of superfluous fat that made the muscles clearly visible. She sighed inwards physically he really was too perfect, she with renewed force she could understand why he was so popular among girls.

How can you explain it, the feeling when he lay down under the quilt? When it was chilly a second ago, the warmth of another person, how could it be so soothing? How could it give such peace of mind? She didn't even say anything, she was just there with her body heat. This time she didn't turn her back at him, she nestled against him and unconsciously he was happy about it. That she didn't reject him, when she had every reason for it. He put his arms around her, he couldn't help it, because this was the greatest sensation. And maybe it turned him on a little but he held it in, there was no need to rush. He was going to enjoy this fully in due time.

When he lay down in the bed again she reached for him, she snuggled up against him. His skin was pleasantly cool, it felt unbelievably good. And he didn't push her away, he hugged her. Coolness and warmth mixed for a while but soon the coolness gave away leaving the two of them totally warm. And they stayed that way until the morning. Something new was beginning, something neither of them had expected.

I hate both kebab and rolled cabbage which means I hate both Cagalli's and Athrun's favourite food! The rolled cabbage is of course taken from the CD-drama, well that's perhaps common knowledge though. (I say favourite but there is really nothing saying that it is their favourite food just that they like it very much.)