Thank you, everyone who has liked the story this far. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, I love you!
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Just be warned that this contains scenes that might not be appropriate if you're sensitive or very young. I thought a lot about whether I should post a different, censored version here but I decided to post the original anyway. If you think it's too graphic for this site please tell me so and I will revise it. But don't expect any lemons, I wouldn't call it a lemon.
Where Do We Go from Here
At elementary school they weren't allowed to stay in the class room during the breaks. They were supposed to be out and playing, but Athrun didn't play with the other kids. He used to take walks around the school yard or sit and play by himself in a corner pretending that he really didn't want to play soccer with the others. Sometimes steal a glance perhaps but in a way that nobody noticed it, not that anybody cared anyway. A week had passed since Kira had come to the class and he blended in perfectly, he even was the centre of everyone's attention. Even if he didn't want to admit it Athrun was a little envious of Kira, he was new in the class but still he had become friends with everybody immediately. He found himself following Kira with his gaze and suddenly their eyes met and they looked at each other for a brief moment before Athrun turned his eyes away and started walking to the other direction. Somewhere in the background he heard shouts,
"Kira, where you going!" and then he heard light fast steps on the asphalt closing in on him. And before he knew it an energetic-looking Kira walked beside him smiling.
"…" Athrun looked at him with a blank face for a second before he turned his gaze forward without saying a word. But inside his head questions started to form. What was Kira doing? Why didn't he stay and play soccer? Why did he bother him like this? It would be better if Kira would just let him be. The other kids would stop liking Kira if he tried to be with Athrun. Didn't he know that?
"Hey Athrun, What are you doing?" Kira asked as if it was only natural and it felt strange to be addressed like that, because it was so long ago.
"…" Athrun didn't answer he just walked like he always did without say anything.
That didn't seem to bother Kira though he just continued talking while he followed Athrun around.
I
"Kira where are you going? Don't tell me you're going to follow that loser around again?"
"Sorry." Kira said smiling apologetically.
"Come on, play soccer with us instead."
"Sorry." Kira said again and hurried after Athrun.
"Did you know what my mom did yesterday? She's so mean. She threatened to throw away all my video-games if I didn't do my homework? Can you believe that?" Kira started talking and complaining about his mom as usual. Athrun who had been forced to listen to a lot of Kira's complaints and conversation actually knew quite a bit about Kira's family and Kira's hobbies by now. And he couldn't help but think that Kira was a little spoiled. And to talk about his mother that way, Athrun couldn't even imagine himself talk about his own mother in such a way.
"What about your mom Athrun? Does she also do annoying things?" Kira suddenly asked him.
"…y"
"Eh?" Kira exclaimed surprised.
"Why?" Athrun said so quietly it was hard for Kira to hear it.
"What do you mean?" Kira didn't understand what he meant but he was excited that Athrun had finally said something.
"Why do you keep bothering me?" Athrun stopped and turned to Kira and looked at him sharply.
"Why? That's obvious isn't it?"
"Not to me it isn't."
"We're friends."
"Wha- who said we're friends?"
"I did just now."
"You can't just decide that on your own. To me we're not friends, it's only you who have one-sidedly followed me around and talked to me without ever caring what I thought about it. Frankly it's a bother. Leave me alone and go play with the others, at least they want to play with you." Athrun said coolly, but in reality he wasn't exactly honest. He actually enjoyed listening to Kira but at the same time he was annoyed at him and doubted his real intentions. What had Kira to gain by becoming friends with him? He couldn't understand it and therefore he assumed that he was only trying to trick him. He turned away from Kira again and was about to walk away again when he heard a sniffle. He turned once more and there was Kira crying covering his eyes with his hands. Why was he crying? Was it his fault? He hadn't wanted to make him cry. Did this mean that Kira was serious, that he thought that they were friends?
Anyway he had to say something, apologise, "K- Kira…" saying his name felt strange in his mouth, it was the first time. And looking at it now it was strange, Kira had tried so much to come close to him, he had told him so much about himself when Athrun hadn't even said Kira's name once. He felt guilt, he hadn't given Kira a chance, when Kira had been honest the whole time. He still couldn't understand why Kira wanted to be friends with him, when he had been acting like a jerk the whole time. But he realised that it wasn't his place to decide that, if Kira really wanted to be friends with him it was Kira's right to decide.
"Kira, I'm sorry…um, if you still want you…you can be my friend…" Athrun manage to stutter feeling extremely awkward.
"Eh?" Kira looked up surprised with big tearful eyes.
Athrun looked at the ground and kicked away a pebble with his right foot and then he looked at Kira again, "…if you don't want to, it's ok. I understand."
"Really! We're really friends!" Kira asked him expectantly.
"Well, um…Yeah." Athrun said and smiled for the first time in school and for the first time in a very long time.
But what they didn't know, they had caught the attention of the others and a few of them had gathered around them.
"Hey Zala, what did you do!"
"…"
"Why is Kira crying?"
"You did something didn't you? Well we'll show you what'll happen if you pick on Kira!"
"Yeah, you think you're better than everybody else, don't you? Well you'll pay this time."
Athrun was getting ready to fight but before that Kira took a stand in front of him and put out his arms as if to protect him.
"Stop!" he screamed looking really angry.
"Kira?" Athrun asked hesitantly, he had never seen Kira angry before and it seemed like the others hadn't either because they looked shocked and nobody said anything.
"Athrun hasn't done anything and even if he had I can take care of myself. I don't like fighting and I don't want anyone to fight because of me… But if you're going to hurt Athrun I'm not going to just stand and watch."
"Kira, why are you taking his side?"
"Because we're best friends." Kira said smiling this time.
"Best friends?
"Kira?" Athrun doubted his ears, "best friends" they were best friends?"
"Yeah, that's right. Come on lets go play soccer." Kira confirmed.
Everybody hesitated but slowly started to walk to the spot were they used to play soccer, they didn't even have proper goals they just placed out rocks instead.
Only Athrun was standing still.
"Athrun come on, what are you waiting for!" Kira turned around and shouted.
"Really I'm fine, I'll just stay here."
"What are you talking about, come on!" Kira ran up to him and grabbed his arm and practically dragged him away.
"W- wait, what are you doing!"
"You're playing too, honestly you wanna play don't you."
"…but the others don't want me to."
"Stop caring about what they think, I want you to play so do it for me Athrun."
"…alright, I'll play." Athrun finally gave in.
From that day, Athrun slowly started talking more and more in class and he slowly got accepted by the other kids. And from that day, Kira and he had been best friends.
I
A couple of weeks had passed since he and Cagalli had started seeing each other. There had been a mutual understanding that this affair should be kept secret. For Athrun it was obvious that he didn't want Kira to find out about it, he guessed that it would probably make him very mad. And he really didn't want Kira to be mad at him. For Cagalli it was also a simple decision, she didn't want to be seen with Athrun in public. Sure she was in love with him, but she knew that she would have deep trouble with Athrun's fan girls if they found out. And since their relationship really wasn't a relationship it would be hard to defend herself, Athrun would surely not defend her. And to be with Athrun would surely give her a not so favourable reputation she assumed.
Ever since the work with the sports festival, Cagalli had become a sort of unofficial member of the student council she attended almost every meeting they had if soccer practise didn't get in the way. Surprisingly she had found it to be quite fun and she got along with everybody really well, even Yzak though they argued a lot. There was only one person that she still didn't get along with. Of course that was Athrun. It actually was a favourable situation because it didn't blow their secret. She had actually wondered if she would be able to keep it a secret, would she be able to keep the same attitude that she had before? But it had turned out to be surprisingly easy. That was mainly because of Athrun's attitude, it was the same as ever and as before it provoked her to no end. So really she didn't have to act, it came very naturally. And when she was irritated she naturally called him Zala instead of Athrun so this far everything had worked out fine. But she wondered how he managed to be so different in school and when they were together alone.
"Eh, Princess isn't here?" Dearka asked.
Athrun suddenly paid attention, Princess was the nickname that Dearka had for Cagalli and Athrun was always sensitive to matters concerning her. While he pretended to look through some papers he listened to their conversation.
"No, I talked to Fllay today and it seems that wasn't in school yesterday either. Apparently she has been absent a few times."
"Is she sick?"
"It seems like she has problems with headaches."
"Is it serious?"
"Why do ask me? How should I know? …But no I don't think it's serious, I mean some people are prone to get headaches often."
"Yeah, you're probably right. She's no different from before when she is at school so there's probably nothing to worry about."
"Yeah, she's usually very lively, too lively if you ask me."
"You can't be honest, can you Yzak? You like her that way, am I wrong?"
"…shut up!"
"It's ok, I do too. Princess wouldn't be Princess if she wasn't so feisty."
"Hearing that coming from your mouth makes it sound so tainted."
"Hey, that's rude." Dearka said jokingly. "There is only one girl for me. Miriallia, I'm waiting for you to notice my charm."
"You'll wait forever."
"Ever since you got together with Fllay you've been acting so full of yourself."
"Wh-! In what way? I haven't changed one bit!"
"I take that back, you're as noisy as ever."
"DEARKA!"
As usual they were talking bullshit, but he seriously wondered about Cagalli. He hadn't noticed that she had been absent before maybe he had been too busy trying to ignore her. She didn't seem like the type who skipped school for something as trivial like a headache, just take a painkiller and it'll go over in half an hour. He got a little sulky, school was no fun with no Cagalli there to tease.
I
He reached her door and pressed the door bell, there was no answer. He tried again but there was still no sign of Cagalli. He banged at the door and shouted, "Cagalli! Open the door, I know you're in there!" He heard something moving inside and a second later he heard steps moving fast towards his direction and stopped by the other side of the door. He heard the locks open and slowly the door opened and he saw Cagalli's hesitantly looking at him, "Athrun? What are you doing here?"
"The question is what you are doing? Why weren't you at school?" he asked.
"…um well I had a headache so I decided to stay home today…"
"I hear it's not the first time though, you seem to have headaches fairly often…"
"So? What if I do?"
"Why do you stay home just because of headache?"
"Ju- Just a headache! Do you understand how it feels to have migraine? Do you?"
"But you don't have migraine do you?"
"…well no but" what is it with this guy, can he read minds or what? Cagalli couldn't help but wondering.
"Then you'll just have to take a pain killer and it'll pass, who am I going to tease if you aren't at school? Don't be so selfish Cagalli."
"Wh-! I'm not a pet that you can play with as you please! It's my business if I want to stay home or not. I don't remember you having any right to tell me what to do."
"I don't know Cagalli, but do you think it's wise to talk back like that?"
"Eh?"
"Let's see, what shall I do for payback? What do you think, Cagalli…?" He said while smiling a lewd smile. That smile sent cold shivers down her spine, she was almost afraid because she didn't know what he might do.
"Wh- what do you mean payback! Stop screwing around!" Cagalli tried to hide her fear with anger a tactic that unfortunately didn't work on him and she should know it by now, Athrun thought, but in the end it made all the more fun for him.
She tried to close the door but it was too late, he was already holding it and it wasn't like she could compete with his strength.
"What are you doing? Are you trying to shut me out?"
"…No" she said not meeting his gaze.
"I thought so." He said and continued, "I'm coming in."
When she opened the door and let him in, he noticed that the curtains were down and the inside looked dark and gloomy, the light wasn't on. He took off his shoes and jacket and looked at Cagalli.
"Don't you think it's a little dark in here? Aren't you at least going turn the lights on?" Athrun asked wondering.
"Oh, yeah you're right." Cagalli said and turned on the lights, "There's really no point in open the curtains, it's almost dark outside anyway."
"Well, that's true…" Athrun said as he was eyeing Cagalli.
Maybe she felt uncomfortable to be looked at because she hurriedly said, "I'll put on some coffee. Do you want some?" and walked in to the kitchen.
"Yeah…" Athrun said thoughtfully. When he looked at her now when the lights were on, she did look pale. And wait, wasn't her shirt turned inside out? Maybe she really was sick. He had thought that she was just skipping classes, but then again that wouldn't be something that suited Cagalli's personality, with her strong sense of obligation.
"So how's the headache?" he asked.
"Eh, well I'm fine now." She said a little too cheerfully.
This wasn't the Cagalli he wanted to see, she was forcing herself. It didn't suit her, he wanted an honest response.
"That's great." He said and walked up behind her. "Cagalli…" he whispered in the most seductive voice he could and he couldn't help but smile a little when he felt Cagalli tremble a little. He didn't touch her he just stood very close, way too close for comfort.
"Do you mind?" she said, "I'm trying to make coffee here." Trying to make him back off.
"I do mind." He continued in the same voice and started to pull up her shirt.
"What are you doing!" Cagalli screamed.
"Do you know Cagalli…?" he whispered in her ear as he continued to pull up her shirt slowly.
"Wh- what?" she was almost afraid to ask.
"Your shirt is inside out." He said and as if he couldn't hold it in any longer he burst out laughing.
"What!" Cagalli said not clearly understanding what was happening. She turned around and she saw Athrun holding his stomach and his shoulders where shaking from laughter. And she looked at her shirt and indeed it was inside out. Her face turned red with indignation, he was just making fun of her!
"So what if my shirt is inside out, is that so bleeding funny?"
"…hahaha…well…hahahaha…yeah...haha"
"Anyway it's your fault, I wasn't dressed when you came and you were banging on the door. I didn't have time to check if it got right or not."
Suddenly he stopped laughing and she saw a dangerous glint in his eyes and subconsciously she swallowed.
"Well then I guess I'll have to take responsibility…and make it right..."
"You- you don't have to. I can dress by myself."
"Really now, it doesn't look like it to me."
"That was just an accident because I had to hurry to open the door."
"No really I insist, I'll help you."
"Nooooooooo!" She screamed out in despair but her plea was in the end unheard.
He grabbed her arm and dragged her to the bedroom.
"S- stop, I haven't even showered today."
"Shower huh? You can do that afterwards …I will help."
"I don't need help to shower."
"Here I am trying to help, and you just reject it. I'm hurt, Cagalli."
"Sure you're trying to help me…I think not!"
"What did I say about talking back?" Athrun said smiling that scary smile again. "As I thought I have to think up something… as payback…" he emphasized on the last part as he was pressing her arms against the mattress.
"Wait, Athrun!" Cagalli panicked.
"Don't worry, I promise it won't hurt…"
I
She got up from the bed rather swiftly and took a few steps when she suddenly crumpled on the floor.
"Cagalli!" Athrun rushed to her and crouched beside her, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just got dizzy that's all."
"That doesn't sound fine to me."
"It's nothing, it's probably because I have low blood-pressure and also I haven't eaten anything today."
"You're telling me you haven't eaten anything today? Idiot!"
"Wh- What do you mean idiot? I'm not an idiot!"
"Well if you don't eat it's not strange you get headaches for example. You have to take better care of yourself!"
"…yeah but…"
"Not another word, come on can you stand up?" Athrun stood up and lent her a hand.
"…yeah." She said and took it, and with his help she got up from the floor.
"You take a shower while I fix us something to eat." and Athrun who already was wearing clothes went out to the kitchen to se what she had in the fridge.
"Ah, wait!" Cagalli said hurriedly.
"What?" Athrun said but didn't stop. He opened the fridge and he actually was amazed. There was absolutely nothing in there except for a package of milk that was way past its best-before date and a cucumber that had definitely seen better days.
"Cagalli…" he looked at her doubtingly as she too came into the kitchen.
"W- what?"
"What do you live on?"
"I usually buy a sandwich at school and then I eat ramen."
"…I'm amazed that they let you live on your own."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you can't live on instant ramen alone, you'll get malnourished. Ever heard of scurvy? Your teeth will fall off. You'll be a medical wonder, the first scurvy patient in a hundred years."
"I won't get scurvy and my teeth won't fall off!"
"They will if you don't start eating better… …By the way Cagalli, are you sure you want to be standing there looking like that? I'm getting confused here, you've hadn't had enough? Because how can I interpret that in any other way than that you're trying to tempt me…" he said while following Cagalli's body with his eyes and smiling provocatively.
That's right she was standing, in the kitchen only wearing knickers hiding her breast in the same way like those blonde chicks in the front pages of men's magazines usually do.
A few seconds past with no reaction from Cagalli then suddenly she screamed, "Kyaaaaaaa!" and dashed out from the kitchen and into the bathroom and looked the door. Athrun just grabbed a book from his schoolbag and sat down in the sofa waiting for Cagalli to come out.
After what must have been half an hour he heard the bathroom door opened, he put down the book and looked at Cagalli. He noticed that she wouldn't look him in the eyes, "Are you still embarrassed about what happened?"
"…"
"I don't understand what's so embarrassing, I've already seen everything there is to see." He chuckled.
"…It's still embarrassing." She had wrapped a towel around her and small drips of water fell one by one from her still wet hair. He would lie if he would say that her current appearance didn't tempt him, but there was something more urgent to deal with right now.
"Come on hurry and get dressed and then we'll go out. It's my treat."
"Eh? Is it ok, what if somebody sees us?"
"Never mind that, we've got to get you something to eat, don't we? Anyway I know a place were students don't usually come.
I
Next day when Cagalli opened her locker she saw something unfamiliar, a bento-box. Confused she took it and she saw a note that said, "From your secret admirer".
"That jerk, he's making fun of me again." She muttered and when she thought about it, how the hell did he get into her locker!" She closed the locker with a bang but as she went to the classroom there was a smile on her lips.
I
At first Athrun pretended not to see, later he acknowledged the fact but pretended not to care. But soon he was getting annoyed, Cagalli was really popular. Both among girls and boys. Actually he had seen Cagalli confessed to by a number of people and every time it felt as something was wringing his chest and soon something dark started to crawl out and spreading inside of him. Especially when he saw her with Kira. When she was with Kira she always seemed to be smiling and laughing. It was a smile like the sun, but that smile had never been directed at Athrun. Why? Why didn't she smile like that towards him? The question started to eat him from the inside. Well not that he cared of course, but was Cagalli just one more of those slutty girls who were only having him for sex? Not that it mattered he would break up with her soon anyway, well technically they weren't actually together. But still it annoyed him that she really didn't seem to need him. That someone else than him could make her smile like that. And more than anything he was annoyed with himself for having these thoughts, why did it bother him so much? It was something he couldn't understand.
I
"Cagalli!"
She turned around to the direction where the voice was coming from and she saw Kira walking towards her.
"Kira, what is it?" she asked him when he had reached her and was standing in front of her.
"Ah, eh, I was thinking, we haven't seen each other so much lately. Won't you come over to my house after school."
"Eh?"
"Y- Y- You don't have to worry, my mom is home. I don't mean anything strange."
"No it's nothing like that. It's just that I was surprised, I've never been to your house before. But when you think about it, it's strange isn't it? We have been so much together and I've been outside your house so many times it's funny that I haven't been inside yet, hahaha." She laughed nervously. Yes they hadn't seen so much of each other lately and there was really only one reason for that: Athrun. But of course she couldn't say that to Kira. Her relationship with Athrun was to be a secret, and to be honest she wanted it to stay that way.
"So, what do you say?" Kira looking a little confused by her rushed behaviour.
"Yeah, sure I'm looking forward to meeting your mom." She smiled widely. "I've promised to meet Athrun tonight but there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to manage both." She thought.
Kira lit up on that reply, "Great, then we walk home as usual, you don't have any practise today right?"
"No we have it in the mornings on Tuesdays."
"Great, it'll be fun to hang out."
"Yeah."
I
"Mom, I'm home!" Kira shouted as he closed the door behind them.
"Welcome home Kira." Kira's mom came out in the hall from the kitchen, she wore an apron. To Cagalli it was really exotic sight, she never had a mom and she looked with great interest at Kira's mom.
"My, and who can this be? I didn't know Kira knew such a cute girl." Mrs. Yamato exclaimed.
Both Kira's and Cagalli's cheeks turned red in an instant, "Mom! Don't be so embarrassing!"
"Hohoho, what's so embarrassing?" Mrs. Yamato chuckled amusedly.
"You're really enjoying this aren't you?"
"Of course I am, I want to know all Kira's new friends."
Kira sighed and mumbled something about that's wasn't what he meant and Cagalli who had recovered from the shock of being called cute put her hand forward and introduced herself, "I'm Cagalli Yula, I'm in the same class as Kira."
"Oh, is that so."
"She's pretty new, she transferred to us in October."
"You did, so how do you find your new school?"
"I like it, it's been really fun."
"I wish you could make Kira think school was fun too. What am I to do with you Kira?"
"Mom! At least there is nothing wrong with my grades." Kira said pouting.
"I'm just teasing you honey. Hohoho, don't take it so seriously.
After they had had a snack together with Kira's mom they went upstairs to Kira's room.
"So what do you want to do?" Kira asked.
"I don't know. Have you begun with that history report?"
"…Don't mention that now. We have two weeks left haven't we? I really didn't have homework in mind."
"Ok, no homework."
"Do you wanna play video-games or something?"
"Hmm, yeah that could be fun."
I
"That wasn't fun at all." Cagalli crossed her arms pouting.
"Sorry, sorry." Kira smiled apologetically.
"Why do you have to win all the time?"
"I'm sorry, it wasn't on purpose…"
"Is that supposed to make me feel better? To know that you were holding back and still you beat the crap out of me:"
"It can't be helped, you haven't played that game before and I've played it hundreds of times."
"But it looked fun…"
"Well it is fun, once you get into it."
Cagalli sighed and gave up the pouting, instead she got up from the floor and started to look around Kira's room. It looked suspiciously newly cleaned. Something told her that this wasn't how the room usually looked. Well it was cleaned but there were things all over the place, the exact opposite of Athrun's bare to minimum room. But really this room felt much more like a home than Athrun's and that was a good thing. She looked in the bookshelf, and there were almost no books in it, just manga, anime-DVDs, games and magazines. But on the other hand there was an abundant amount of that.
"I didn't know you were an otaku." Cagalli said smiling teasingly.
"Otaku? That's harsh, Cagalli."
"Hmm, let's see… Eh, what's this? Etchi!" Cagalli looked shocked.
"Kira's face turned blue, "What? There aren't supposed t-"
"Hahaha, I'm joking, I'm joking."
"Cagalli!" Kira complained blushing.
"I'm sorry. It was payback for beating me at that game." Cagalli looked very satisfied.
"…mental note: don't ever compete with Cagalli again. Cagallibad loser."
"Say, Cagalli…"
"What?"
"Why do you keep going to student council meetings? It's not like you have to anymore."
"Why you ask? Hmm, I guess I just can't leave them alone. I mean who knows what will happen. Heine and Dearka would just chatter away like two old ladies and Yzak would try to strangle Athrun again, I'd feel sorry for Nicole and Rusty."
"Athrun?" Kira asked suspiciously.
Aah, crap, why did she have to say Athrun? She always called him Zala in school, will Kira find out? No, there was no reason that Kira should find out she thought composedly. "Just keep cool and he won't notice anything."
"Yeah, that bastard Athrun Zala. If I didn't know any better I would think that his trying to provoke Yzak. Oh, sorry he's your friend right? I didn't mean to badmouth him." Cagalli ended with apologising.
"Don't worry about it, I know Athrun isn't the easiest person to be around." Kira smiled somewhere relived.
I
"Where have you been? Why are you so late?" Athrun asked in a low voice.
"Ah, sorry I was at Kira's, and his mother asked me to join them for dinner and I couldn't bring myself to say no."
"Kira?" Athrun could feel something snapped, the deep dark jealousy he had been carrying was taking overhand pushing away all reason.
"Yeah, I haven't seen Kira so much lately it was really fun to hang out. And Kira's mother is really great too, but Kir…"
"Kira, Kira, Kira if you like him so much why don't you sleep with him too, or maybe you already have you dirty whore."
"What the fuck did you call me! I haven't done anything to deserve being called that. Are you out of your fucking mind you fucking bastard?" Cagalli blew up in anger.
"But you're not denying that you've slept with him?" Athrun ignored Cagalli's outburst.
"I don't see how that's any you business, it's not like we're together or anything." As soon as she had said she regretted it, she had been too angry to think clearly. Of course she hadn't slept with Kira, Kira was only a friend. But Athrun immediately started jumping into conclusions and on top that calling her a whore, it wasn't right. But now she regretted what she had said and became afraid, afraid of Athrun's reaction. In her heart she wanted to be with him but he made it so difficult. She held her breath too scared to even breathe, maybe he would break up with her. No anything but that.
Eventually Athrun spoke, "You're right, we're not together so would you please get out of here. I think I will call someone else tonight." He said but in reality he didn't mean one word of it, actually he hadn't slept with anyone else since he met Cagalli. He didn't know why but he didn't find any interest in anybody else at the moment. Concerning Cagalli on the other hand he was too interested for his own good, he had started to realise that but in the end he couldn't keep away from her. Frankly she excited him too much. Really he wasn't going to let her go, not before he could vent this dark feeling that was about to overflow, not before he had fucked her senseless.
"Eh?"
"Didn't you hear me?" he said coldly.
"I'm sorry I said that, it's just that I got so angry, I'm not a whore."
"Really?" he asked as if he was sceptical to whether that was true.
"I haven't slept with Kira if that's what you're wondering. I haven't slept with anybody but you."
"…"
"Athrun?" Cagalli got nervous from his silence.
Suddenly he moved very fast and before Cagalli could register what was happening she had fallen to the floor with Athrun on top of her. She understood what was happening, Athrun's hands were all over her but it wasn't in the usual gentle way, it felt rough and hurried.
"Athrun, …aa… not here my back hurts."
"Shut up I'm not going to wait." He ripped off her panties and pulled down his pants. He entered her in without having made enough preparations, it felt like it was burning inside of her "Aaa…" she let out a groan because of the pain. She felt his deep heavy breathing in her ear, and he felt unusually heavy, it pressured her chest and it was hard to breathe. He started move.
"Ow! It… hurts… Ath- uh… Athrun."
"…it'll soon feel…uh …better."
"…How…nnn… do you know?"
He didn't answer but she could feel his breathing become harsher and his movement become faster.
"Uh… Cagalli" he crumpled on top of her. She could feel his weight and his harsh breathing. They lay there for a while still connected. Aah, maybe this was happiness she thought, he had been jealous at Kira over her. If he was jealous it meant he really cared about her, if he was jealous she was ready to do what it would take make him understand that there was no need. It was silly and totally unnecessary, of course she wouldn't sleep with anyone else. There was only one for her, she knew that.
He pulled himself out of her and pulled up his pants still lying on the floor. She looked for her underwear, found them and put them on and straightened out her skirt.
He turned his head and looked at her, "Shower?" His breathing had calmed down considerably and he seemed calm.
"Yeah." Cagalli smiled weakly.
I
He could see that she had been crying, he could see that she smiled weakly to hide it. And it made him irritated. That hollow smile did nothing but make him irritated. But there was somewhere there was something else that bothered him. Why did he feel so hollow afterwards, after he had sex with her? It made him confused and irritated, was it a signal? A signal that it was time to let go?
He saw that Cagalli was looking at him with worrying questioning eyes. He looked away, he didn't say anything. He didn't feel like looking at her right now, he didn't feel like being with her right now. He didn't like how it made him feel right now. They stayed that way for a while when Athrun finally spoke, "I'll take you home."
"Eh?" Cagalli said. She was probably surprised, because she always used stay over night. She even had some of her clothes here. She even had her own toothbrush. But tonight he wanted to be alone.
"Come on." He just said and started walking out the room. He didn't look back, to see if she was following. He just walked out and down the stairs. After a while he could hear Cagalli coming after him with fast steps. He could feel that she was cautious around him right now, when she reached him she stayed a few steps behind him.
They walked in silence, it had been getting cold, that time of the year was approaching. Their breaths turned into white clouds and neither of them was wearing enough clothes. It was cold, but Athrun didn't really care.
They reached Cagalli's house and they stopped outside the door.
"…see you around." Athrun said was about to leave when Cagalli called, "Athrun!"
"What?" he said not turning to face her.
She seemed to hesitate and in the end she just said, "Nothing, see you tomorrow."
"…yeah." He said as he bent his steps back home in the cold night.