Sol-Ratcht here and I am proud to bring you Enter Star Wolf, the second chapter to the introduction series before we get into the real story. Well, I am getting the feel of this sorta thing a little, in this upcoming one…..hopefully…..Well, here's Star Wolf's debut! Hope you like it! (prays)
The Misunderstood Asylum
By: Sol-Ratcht Saporro
"Enter Star Wolf"
Location: A secluded base in Fortuna, well not exactly base more like a house with a driveway and cute little garden that Leon and Panther tend to.
Wolf O'Donnell sworn rival of Fox McCloud grumbled as he logged on his computer in his office "Tch Man……what now….." Wolf noticed all these contagious pop-ups covering his screen. "What the? Goddammit! What is all this…..?" Wolf furiously clicked away with the pop-up ads for about…10 minutes and with a sigh of relief finally got access to his email.
"Holy Shit!" Wolf's good eye bugged out at his 270+ messages "I need to check my email more often." Wolf then, saw the day's newest emails. "Oh great, two emails from two people I can't stand the most and the most annoying people in the world. Pigma and Andross…..oh great…..well, I'll see what this fat turncoat wants first….."
Wolf opened up the file and saw this:
Wolf,
Plaese help me! Deese Araparaproids R gunna keel me! AAAAAhHHHH! Thaye R cumin to git me. I kneed yur help. Resku, me when u git the chanz. Hairy up thou, thaye R gunna tye me up and shute me with a tequila gun!
Sinsereli,
Pigma
P.S. When ur free can you send me my collaboration on Weddinnesday? Y U ask?Dat's the daye dat…….
"Gaaaahhh!" Wolf closed the window for Pigma's email and rubbed his eye "Tch…..I swear that Pig in a Blanket should've stayed in school from 3rd grade. Just being around him lowers my IQ and kills off my brain cells…….. Okay on to Andross's piece of crap……"Fuck…….this can't be good news. Wolf pulls up Andross's message and this is what he read:
Good news O'Donnell my boy! I've found you some work! Your next mission will be at Corneria do you hear? Meet me at my lair……..like NOW!
Toodles,
Andross
"…Wow…. That made him sound super gay…..I guess when you repeatedly get whupped by a pussy like Fox, you tend to turn into one." Wolf shakes his head "Okay, so I'll get Leon and what's-his-face and we can get outta here." Wolf got up from his desk and exited the office room to go get Leon and Panther out of the gym in their Headquarters.
As Wolf made his way towards the gym Wolf looked at a window in the hallway "Man, these window's could use some elbow grease, DAMN!" Wolf took his finger and a quick swipe resulted in a shitload of dust on his finger. He examined it and just kept walking in the direction of the gym.
Wolf finally arrived at the gym and greeted his resting comrades by saying, "Yo Leon, Wildcat! Andross summoned us up to go to his lair. Let's go!"
"Wolf……..hmmmmmnnnnn……it's Panther not Wildcat…….Panther sir." Panther sighed in total disappointed. The least Wolf could do is remember his name. The bastard
"Goddammit Jaguar, I don't remember names all too well……But you can get ready to leave for Venom in 10 minutes. Got it?"
"Got….it….sir." Panther scowled
"Good to hear than Cheetah. You keep on my good side and you'll go far in life." Wolf left the gym at that
"Grrrrrrrrrrr…….WHAT'S ONE MORE NAME HE CAN'T REMEMBER BUT MINES!" Panther roared
"Don't worry Love it's only temporary that he screws up your name. It'll take a little while longer for him to warm up to you. Nine times out of ten he's doing this just to piss you off." Leon consoled
"To that Panther replied, "Oh okay…..Oh and Leon?"
"Yes Love?
"Stop calling me love, shit makes me uncomfortable." Panther got up and exited the gym
Being the naughty chameleon Leon is, his thoughts almost intertwined with what actually came out of his mouth, "Okay!"Fresh meat still has a nice ass in my opinion…..Ooooh Leon! You're a naughty boy! I shall punish myself later……..Heehee!
Ummmm….Back to Wolf…..
Wolf was already in his Venomian uniform and went into the sublevel-docking bay. As he surveyed the area, he noticed his three "darling" Wolfens and said, "Ahhh…..my three gorgeous Wolfens…..Tha-
"Hi Wolf, it's me Sol……thing was you are supposed to say "DARLING" Wolfens not "gorgeous", "DARLING" got it?"
"Yeah, yeah got it…"
"Okay please say that line again."
"That line again."
"-Sigh- Don't be a smartass…..just do as I say, because I do tell the story and from my point of view…..I can't see a bright future for you Wolf. So if you want to prove me wrong, do as I say and we are all good. Okay?"
"Okay, Okay…..God….."
"Okay then take it from the top….."
"Ahhhh…..my three DARLING Wolfens. Happy now?"
"Very much my good man. Hopefully I won't see you around. Later!"
"Yes, Mom, I'll be a good boy and clean up my room. Bye! Go Away; you're cramping my style.
"Okay, just remember what I said…….."
"Yeah bye. That girl's going to be the end of me one day.
As from the sidebar conversation, Wolf resumed checking out his Wolfens……When he inspected the flawlessness of the first two he couldn't help but smile…….Blood Red Coat, Luster just like brand new and Wings sharp as ever ready for takeoff.
When he approached the last one on the far end he could not believe his one good eye…… A giant red rose was plastered on the right side of the vessel. He tripped out over the manner. Eye popped out and all… "WHAT THE FUCK! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNGAAAAAAAAAAAAALL! Get your fruity fairy ass over here NOW!" Exasperate breathes were heard afterwards from all the enragement Wolf had.
Seconds later shuffles of scurried footsteps were heard as Panther and Leon rushed in the docking bay. "-cough,wheeze,cough, pant- Yes……..sir?" They managed to get out of their mouths as they caught their breaths
"Bengal, what in the hell is gay shit you plastered on my ship!" Wolf pointing to the bright red rose on the Wolfen
"Huh? Oh, that's my symbol the red rose…" Panther pulls out a red rose of his own and looks at it seductively "…Ah the rose, a delicate flower that represents strength and beauty that is….."
" I…don't….give a….good goddamn…what it is!"Ow! Damn thorn….. Wolf snatched the rose from Panther and scowled at it "Or what it stands for. All I know is that…..that thing better come off my Wolfen NOOOWW!" Wolf threw the rose down and stomped on it.
"Ummmm….-gulp- I can't do that….."
"And why not?"
"Because….it's……it's…..permanently wielded in there…..and….and even if you did remove it, there'll be a big chunk of ship gone as well…"
"GRRRRRRRRR……You know what?" Wolf got in hysterics "Never mind…….Neeeever Mind. Are you both ready?" Wolf subsided his anger by putting his hand over his face and moving it downwards
"Yes sir!" Both of them replied
"Okay that's good let's rock and roll!" Wolf yelled out
"Hey, Wolf…." Leon called out
"Yeah?"
"You must be clinically depressed if you used one of Fox McCloud's lines……"
"Oh yeah, that IS one of his sayings isn't it? Well obviously, 'What The Heck?' doesn't fit in so I can't think of anything else……(u.u)"
"Yeah, well……Just say something else besides that."
"Okay……how about (O.d) 'Fox get this guy off me!' D'Oh….that's that damn Frog. Ummmmm…. 'Do a barrel roll', Errr…..um…. 'See my ship? Does it look okay to you?' GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Wolf stomped his foot on the floor real hard
"It's okay Wolf……" Leon put his arm around Wolf's shoulder "In due time, you'll have a cool catch phrase too……"
"Leon….." Wolf said afterwards noticing Leon's arm and forcefully displacing it "shoulder"
"Ow…..so forceful…." I wonder if he would go a round with me in the "torture chamber" ahem bedroom?)
"Yeah okay, people let's move….." Wolf moved to his Wolfen as quickly possible Man I really don't like how Leon looks at me…….well….he does go out of his way to bring me flowers, give me out-of this-world massages and runs my bath water at the perfect temperature. But, back to the main thing, I think the way he looks at me is sooo creepy…..-shudders-.
As the three gentlemen leapt into their Wolfens the computer whirred and chirped for the countdown as the three vessels were preparing to launch into space. The garage opened up and about five miles into the pathway.
SHUTTLE RELEASE IN 5…….4……3…..2…..1 INITIATE SHUTTLE RELEASE!
The three Wolfens blasted off into space in pathway towards Venom.
In Lylat Space
The three Wolfens (God I am getting tired of saying that) traveled through Sector X in hope of finding that damned Warp Zone to cut space travel time in seconds flat.
Krrrrrzzzzz……(that's my interpretation of the communicator please bare with me) the monitor buzzed, "Hey Leon, wanna hear my new catch phrase?" Wolf flew behind all the debris to be obscene with the environment. Panther decided to follow Wolf on this one. As for Leon……
"Ummmm…..Wolf? N-now is not the time for that….." Leon hesitated as he was skillfully evaded the enemies that flourished the gate. "Maybe you can tell me later okay?" Leon asked as he shooting up a gang of baddies.
"Aw…come on Leon! It's really cool! Trust me on this one."
"WOLF! NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO BOTHER ME!" Leon yelled over the communicator. "Gawd, I am trying to keep myself alive, for Crissakes."
"Hmmmm…." Wolf said to himself then he shot a NOVA bomb over to the swarm that plaguing his wingbeast
BOOM!
"Wha-What?" Leon looked around in confusion
"Why are trying to be a hero just fall back and hide. Hurry up before more enemies come!" Duh…..man what an assbite. Trying to show me up…..pfft.
"Oh….." Leon utilized his brakes and crept behind the big slabs of metal
Krrrrrrzzzzz…… "Hey Leon! Check this out! I am gonna get the new guy. Watch….."
Wolf sped up to where Panther was and slowed down his brakes to get on Panther's right side. At that moment Wolf yelled, "TIGER WATCH OUT BOGEY 5 o'clock! MOVE MOVE MOVE!"
"Wha……ARGH!" Panther grunted and swerved to his left as he saw a shadowy object stalking his right side…….BAM! Panther was ignorant of another giant slab of metal debris. "Goddammit, Wolf…..grow up." Panther noticed that his left wing was severed and his flight stability was tipsy as hell and grumbled.
Leon and Wolf both buzzed in, "GAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" for about 10 minutes.
"Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo……." Wolf wiped a tear from his eye and saw the warp zone gate then he exclaimed, "Well what do we have hear? A gate to the warp zone!" Krrrrrrzzzz….. "Hey Lion, go check it out for us will ya?" Wolf buzzed in to Panther
"Wolf…..-sigh-….tch….you know what fine….okay, I will check it out." Why in God's name does this assrat think of me as a Lion, I am in no way shape or form in the resemblance of a Lion) "One question before I go though if I may?"
"Yeah shoot for it."
"Why should I go when you and Leon are both capable of going yourselves?"
"Well……you see my good man…..DAMN! I think he's got me……gotta make up something, gotta make up something, gotta make up something! Because we are going to cover you while you check for the switch, plus we have to activate it as well." Good save Wolf, if I do say so myself!
"Oh….okay." I still don't trust that answer though Panther sped up to the rectangular gate and activated his brakes to wait for Wolf's cue.
A few seconds later……..
VOOOOM……. A mechanical device was being activated
"Okay Tiger go right through! We've activated the gate." I think…….
Panther proceeded and…….
CRASH!
"Oh….um….I thought it was one of those AUTOMATIC gates that let you in if your five meters within the range, you know like at the mall and crap?"
"I thought we had the shoot gate to make it open….." Leon replied
"Oh yeah…..Leon you are sooo correct."
Panther buzzed in to interrupt the both of them, "GODDAMN YOU WOLF AND LEON! YOU TWO ARE REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES!" Man, the collision Panther faced was sad…..The nose literally punched in, some of the glass cracked and spilt on Panther's windshield (I think I wouldn't know what else to name it) Fumes and liquids trickled out of his annihilated Wolfen.
"Well, I am soo sorry Bobcat, I really didn't know honest……snicker….snicker….." Wolf said in a mock innocent tone. Yeah, I really didn't know how stupid you really are to fall for another trick in a row.
"Hmmmmm…..just open the gate already….." Panther pissed off message went across Wolf's screen the faded off
"You really didn't know Wolf?" Leon asked Wolf in a fun manner
"Nope! Sure didn't."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!" Both men laugh whole-heartedly and eyes were streaming with water
"Oooh-hoo-hoo-hoo……man, he's even funnier than Andrew's retarded ass….." Wolf sighed with relief
"Yeah…." Leon replied before rubbing his eyes as well.
Then Wolf buzzed in to Leon, "Okay, Leon, Let's go to work……"
"Hey Wolf! That could be your new catch phrase!" Leon shouted
"Hey yeah, you're right Leon! –Murmuring- Let's go to work……. Yeah! I am so glad that came out of my mouth. Thanks for seeing that Leon!" Wolf being all giddy with the fact that he has a new catch phrase.
"Yeah, No problem……" Yeah, I'll be glad when "other" stuff comes out of your mouth too handsome
So Leon and Wolf sped up to the gate and spent a bone-crushing, laborious three seconds shooting at the gate and it activated just as planned. When all was clear Panther caught up to the other two pilots and awaited the gate to open. When it did the space fighters went through blasted past Macbeth, and Bolse at hyper speed and finally reached the rugged terrain of Venom.
"Whew…..already made it! Okay boys let's go to work! Wow I used my catch phrase one time already in a real manner! How cool!
Wolf, Panther and Leon landed in synch with each other on Venom's striated terrain. Then the three shut off their Wolfens and leapt off simultaneously. Panther's mutilated ship cracked and crumbled then crumbled into a bunch of rubble.
"Grrrrrr….." was his initial response.
Meanwhile Wolf looked onward towards Andross's lair. "Okay fellas, let's go to work….." He said with his happy aura. That's two for two! Then he walks ahead in that direction
"Hey Leon" Panther asks "When did Wolf get a catch phrase?"
"Well, when we were shooting out the warp gate. But he seems to be getting into his new catch phrase huh?"
"Yeah, it's starting to scare me…...a little…."
"Oh you can't talk because you haven't lived around him long enough to give a real definition of scary…..even a little scary."
"Oh really…."Panther narrowed his eyes "Try me."
"Try when he's in heat and when he's drunk at the same time…..whoo….that was a very scary situation."
Panther shudders when he hears those words
"Okay then……let's catch up with Wolf." Leon insisted and they both walked at a fast pace to catch up with a very grouchy one-eyed Wolf
"Took you guys long enough……." Wolf tapped his foot into the ground repeatedly and scowled at the both of them " I hope you guys weren't doing anything I wouldn't do….. Because if you wanna stay in this group, you'd better get with the program. That goes for you Lynx and you too Mr. Green. Okay boys,….."
"Wolf….Wolf…..Please don't abuse your catch phrase." Leon pleaded "Please don't……"
"Tch….I was just going to say that 'we gotta jump down this irritable tunnel thing to reach Andross…..what's your problem Leon?" Wolf frowned Crud! I could've used it there……
"Oh….nothing then…..hehehehehehehehe…."
"Okay! Leon, Sabertooth…..let's jump down already." Wolf motioned for the shaft
"Okay." Leon's response
"Yeah, whatever." Panther's response with a hint of moodiness
The three animals jumped down and the weirdest thing happened……Colors and Colors everywhere! High techo energy music blasting from up and down the shaft as three fell down with shocked expressions such as (O.o and O.d –Wolf's-heheheheh)
As they neared the final part of the tunnel, Leon was actually enjoying the whole ordeal and singing towards the music….. "I turn to you, like a flower leading to-wards the sun….I turn to you, 'cause you're the only one…..I turn to….." Then they finally reached Andross's lair.
"WAAAAAAA------ OOF!" The three uttered when they hit the ground. That's when everything stopped, colors music and all….
"Well…thank God, that stopped." Wolf got up first and dusted himself off
"Yeah.
"Amen." Came from the other two as they got up
"Okay….why is it pitch black in here? Andross? ANDROSS!" Wolf roared
"Okay okay, justh waidaminit." A dorky voice returned the call
"Pssst….Leon." Wolf whispered to Leon and called him to come closer with his hand "Why the hell does he sound like a flat out nerd?"
"Well….must've been the fact that he's been reincarnated so many times, I guess he's gone kahoot. So, to steer clear of Fox, he chose this form to play it safe."
"Oh….I see." Wolf said
Then that same dorky voice appeared again, "Tho guyth, you all cam to hear abouth the mithion?" Andross came out of the shadows and his new and true form was a sight to behold. It was a teenage monkey boy with the stereotypical geek look. (Oh you know like buttoned up shirt, slacks, suspenders, pocket protectors, socks way up high, duck shoes and the signature big-ass coke bottle glasses)
"The what?" Wolf sounded puzzled about that last word
"The Mithion?"
"What?"
"You kno, the MI-THI-ON! What I pay you to do for me….."
"Hey I don't that new freaky sex crap ask Leon about that not me….." Wolf shook his head in denial and waved his hands in a rejecting manner
Leon walked over to Wolf and whispered in his ear, "Ummm….Wolf, I think he means 'mission'."
"Oh…OH! Mission….why didn't you say that instead?" Wolf blushed by his misinterpretation
"I did….it'th justh that I have a lisp….and thith isth the way I talk."
"Okay, sir……so what's this mission you were going to send us on now?"
"Well, it theemsth there'th a contest over at Corneria and I want you guysth to go. I really don't have a team of fowah. Tho I throught of you guysth."
Panther had a "bright idea". "So why don't you join this team and make it an even four?" (Wolf and Leon were like O.O and O.d) "Yeah…tha----
"GAAAAAAAHH!" Wolf leaped over and tackled Panther down and choked the hell out of him "Are you crazy Jaguar? He'll ruin it for us and his PRESENT image will make us the laughing stock of Lylat! Do you understand?" Wolf shook Panther violently while still choking him
All Wolf got out of Panther is, "Aah…ack….oooh…ooh Ack!"
Wolf finally stopped his attack and got off of Panther, who coughed a good amount, and sat down Indian-style of the side of the room. "He'll ruin us all…..yes….I can imagine it all…." All of a sudden the area gets all blurry and wavy like in the typical dream sequence and some crazy harp music plays to start the mood.
Leon walks over to Wolf and steps over him carefully to see that there was an antique record player playing that damned harp music. "Hmmmmm….." He says as he displaces the needle (Hence that ever loving record scratch occurred) and kicked Wolf to lose his concentration "Wolf! Stop making the area all blurry and crap. Andross was going to give us all the details of this contest."
"Oh!" Wolf got up and dusted himself off "Heh-heh, sorry sir…..Please continue."
"Yeah……okay. Well, I was just going to say that I'm flattered but I'll pasth……I have a project to due with the A/V club."
"Oh? Well that's too bad sir……Oh Hell Fuck Yeah! But rest assure we'll come back with a victory!" Wolf gave a salute
"Yeah whateva, I just want you guys to take it easy and have fun. You guysth do too much werk. It's not good. And that goes for you too readers, too much work and too little play can have a deafening effect on your life." Some dumb trying-to-reach-the-moral music plays….. "Please people, heed my words, fun and games are cool! And take it easy…. That's all I am going to say….I thank you."
"…………" Came out of Leon and Wolf…..Panther still knocked out on the floor didn't say much at all.
"Tell the truth Andross, why do you REALLY want us to take this so-called vacation?"
"Okay, so you saw right though me……the truth is…..you guysth are thucking the hell out of the Venomian Government funds, i.e. ME! Tho we need to lay you off….. sorry."
"Hmmmmnnnn……now we know the truth. Okay so when does this crap start?"
"In two dayth, tho geth thome resth and remembah to resprethent Venom to the fullest!"
The two responded, "Yes Sir!" and gave a final salute
As they walk off to travel to the elevator Wolf realized one thing…. "Oh Shit, we forgot something…..ANDROSS! I forgot to ask him something…." He informs Leon as they ran right past the slump and lifeless lump of fur named Panther
Panther grumbled and groaned and got up from the floor and stumbled towards where the other two were. He didn't say anything just stood right behind them not saying a word
"What is this all about though are you going to fill us in or this is some potluck type of crap?"
"Well…..all I kno is that if you thucceed, you win 10,000,000 Venomian units."
"Wh-What!" The three yelled in unison. But then Wolf and Panther turned around and Leon hugged Wolf in fright when they saw Panther behind them
"Bobcat, I thought you were……" Wolf then felt Leon hug him and took both of his arms and unlatched them from his waist "I thought you were unconscious. Well now, we can go and get ready for this Cornerian crap."
"Yeah, well I wasn't……but I am glad you thought about me……for a short time……"
"Can you guys believe that?" Wolf got all angry "That monkey moron said we 'suck all the funds out of him' the nerve of that guy."
"Yeah the nerve." Leon agreed "Besides that's not all we could suck….." He shook his fist in anger/excitement "Ummmmm…..that's supposed to be an inner thought of mine."
(O.O…O.d) "Yeah Leon, whatever you wanted that comment to be…….but, why not guys, let's do this."
Panther was a tad confused so he said "Suck guys'…..?
"NO! I meant this vacation ordeal. Tch….where was your head today?"
"Damn…." Leon was in total disappointment
"Oh, sorry…..but my head was nearly cut off of oxygen when you CHOKED ME OUT! Ow, my head……" Panther rubbed his head to soothe the pain.
As Wolf looked at Panther he thought one word would suit him well……Idiot. "Okay crew, so how about it?"
"Yeah, why not? A vacation sounds good and we get paid for going? Hell I'm in!" Panther yelled
"Yup. I do agree!" Leon shook his head "A vacation's a nice way to bond as a team….."
"Leon, somehow, I don't like how you said that…..but boys-----
"Yeah, yeah, we know…..let's go to work….."
"I am so glad, we are catching in on my cool and contagious catch phrase…….let's back to Fortuna and get ready to kick some butt!"
"Yeah!"
As the three wingbeasts headed towards the elevator, aloof in the distance a pair of glasses glimmering in the light was confirmed to be Andross's said the following: "Heheheheehehehe…….Wait till I report this to the Detective, she'll be so pleased."
End Of Star Wolf's Narrative
Sol-Ratcht's Commentary
Well that was extremely long…… Anyways, I hoped you like that chapter as well! I know at least one character who is WAY out of line when it comes to their original concept. Thank you Bane, Dragon, Shattered Soul and Xavian for reviewing my fanfic so far! I really appreciate it guys! Thank you! Look out for my new team, the Galaxy Police! Caz their debut is next! See you around Space Cowboy/girl!
Sol