I am really digging this comedy thing...I just don't know. It's almost INFECTIOUS () Hey and if you like it, I like it even more. Man, already on the first REAL chapter of the story, I can't believe it, but without further ado, here it is! Chapter One of my insane tale. Please enjoy!
The Misunderstood Asylum
Chapter One: Prologue
"Hi My Name Is……."
(A/N: Sorry……Just to let you know, this will be told in 3rd Person Omniscient P.O.V and the scenes will be further noted by the room it will occur in. It'll be in bold and the things I said for translations and inner thoughts remain the same. Okay, I will shut my trap…….for now XP)
"Out with the regrets and into the door, the uniqueness of this colorful cast was too much too ask for……"
In A Mansion Located in Corneria………A broody old turtle with a cane looked out the window as he impatiently awaited those that he had sent out for the contest. He was dressed in a tuxedo with a corset and he had always donned a pair of glasses. He seemed like a gentleman as he was living in a higher state of standards. Hell…..he had owned an empire! This old turtle had two mansions in Corneria and this……house that he doesn't want to mention……
The old turtle mumbled to himself, " Ahhhhh…..when will these participants arrrrrrrrive alrrrrrrready. This is starrrrrrrrting to borrrrrrrrre me. Now wherrrrrrrrre is that girrrrrrrrrl? Mirrrrrrrrrrrage……MIRRRRRRRRRRRAGE! Wherrrrrrrre in heaven scent are you? Come herrrrrrrre girrrrrrrrrrl. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrright this instant!"
A young female calico cat appeared out of nowhere. "Right here Sir." She seemed to be in her mid to late 20s and she wore a tuxedo just like her employer but it was more fitting on her curves.
BONK!
The old turtle whacked her on the head with his cane. "Why do you take a millennium to come when I call you? Why do you make me scrrrrrrrrream when you know my vocal chorrrrrrrds arrrrrrrre as brrrrrrrittle as they arrrrrrrre?"
"It's rare to hear a man scream my name………" Mirage snickered to herself
"Anyways….why do you keep calling me 'sirrrrrr'…..I am sick of hearrrrrrring that mess….why don't you referrrrrrrr to me as my orrrrrrrriginal title…"Master.."
"NO! Please don't….." Mirage held in her laughter "I like the title 'sir' for you sir. It's very becoming of you."
"MIRRRRRRRRRAGE!" The turtle scowled her
"Okaayy….heeheeheehee…from now on I will call you Master Bates. H-hap-py?" (XD)
Mirage bursted out into tears
BONK!
"Ow, Goddammit!"
"What in blazes is so funny that it got you all in hysterrrrrrrrrics? I swear you young people need to rrrrrrrespect your elders. That name, young missy, was handed down to my grrrrrrrrrreat-grrrrrrrrrreat Grrrrrrrrandpa by the grrrrrrrrrreat Master Bay Shun of Katina. He……."
"AHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh my Gawd you can't be serious….HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Whoo-hoo-hoo……Whoo…." (XD)
BONK!
"Ow…." Mirage rubbed her head again
"Stop that cackling, you inferior wench! I will not be rrrrrrrrrridiculed by a pauper such a yourrrrrrrrrself. Now go see about that those contestants you little HUSSIE!" He stomped his cane on the floor "They should be arrrrrrrrrrrrivinig any minute now, so Make Haste!"
"Grrrrrrr….." The calico muttered a few explicitives under her breath then she said, "I will be back with your participants at once." She bowed to him and left the room.
"I should get the projection room ready……" The turtle went out of the room as well
Fat, fucking old fart…..Oooooh! I can't stand him…..All it takes is one more thing to piss me off and….I'll beat his senile ass Mirage walked down the vast hall of fancy art and dark colored walls, she passed down the row of rooms and got up to a giant 8 foot double door that was lined with gold and silver. She opened the door and entered the main room in the mansion. She trotted down some stairs and opened the front door.
"Ah a team has already arrived I see……" Mirage walked over to the team "Hello, welcome participants welcome to……this guy's place. I am Mirage one of the Master's faithful servants. It's very nice to meet all of you." She bowed gracefully towards the foursome and extends her hand toward Sarge.
"Well nice to meet you too, Mirage. I'm Sarge Saporro of the Galaxy Police: Lylat Subdivision and this is my crew for now….." Sarge let go of her hand to point out the other three teammates.
Rollinda came up first, "Hi! My name's Rollinda. It's very nice to meet you."
Then A'Lou shook her hand, "Pleased to meetcha, I'm A'Lou."
Finally, Ace came up to Mirage to shake her hand, "Hey, How are you? My name's Ace."
"It is very good to meet all of you. Please have a seat in the gazebo as we await the other three teams' arrival."
"Okay…." They all walked towards the gazebo. It was a bright and sunny day in Corneria. Cloudless skies and light sounds of traffic. This Mansion wasn't in the heart of Corneria City but it was still in the midst of the urban area. The Mansion was quite a site even from the outside. It was like a fortress for the ones with a swanky taste in architecture. It was your average two-story half-acre consuming building painted in an ivory coat with Marble pillars accompanying the bushes of red roses on the sides of the house and a fountain with a marble little turtle spitting out water in an encircling pool basin.
"Maaaaaaan…..this is some pad to live in. I wish I could just live here for a day or two." A'Lou gawked at the house.
"Yeah, it would be nice…..just being his servant waiting on him hand and foot isn't not really my idea of living in the lap of luxury." Mirage looked kinda sad
"Oh? Well….how is this guy like?" Rollinda asked "Come to think of it…..what is this person's name?"
"-cough- I'd rather not say……-cough-" Mirage choked then put her hand over her mouth trying to be polite." Ahem….Oh! Looks like another team arrived. If you'll excuse me……"
Rollinda looked over her shoulder in her thoughts…….Hmmmmm…..I wonder who she's trying to protect? It must be a criminal…….
Mirage got out of the gazebo to greet the next arriving team." Hello, welcome participants welcome to……this guy's place. I am Mirage one of the Master's faithful servants. It's very nice to meet all of you." She bowed gracefully towards the foursome and extends her hand towards Fox
Fox blushed wildly and took her hand Oh Shit! She's gorgeous…. "H-h-h-hi…..M-m-m-m-my…n-n-n-n-name is Fox…….How-How-How-How….are…y-y-you?"
"I'm good." Mirage smiled "So what team is this?" She looked past Fox and saw Falco blowing her a kiss and Krystal waving her hand and Slippy playing a game boy.
"Thi-thi-this is the-the-the…..St-st-st-star Fox Team and-and-and……."
"Baaaaaah……enough already" Falco pushed Fox to the ground and took her hand "Hey sweet thang…..my name is Falco. How are you?" He kissed her hand "You know you're cute dontcha?"
"Oh….hee-hee-hee! Thank you…..it's nice to meet you too!" Mirage giggled like a young schoolgirl.
"Ahem….." Krystal butted in between Mirage and Falco "My name's Krystal and let's get one thing straight….." Krystal leaned closer towards her ear and said, "Look here girl…..Fox is mine and if you try to make a move on him……I'll kill you. Do you understand?" She moved back towards arm distance from Mirage
Mirage scoffed at Krystal, She doesn't have much confidence in herself…… "So….what's your name sir?" As she referred to Slippy
"Shhhhh…..I am trying to finish the last level of Super Mario Brothers." Slippy drew all of his attention to the Game Boy.
"Okay……" Mirage turned her head towards the other three "Well, come on everyone let's go in the gazebo. There's one other team waiting in there as well."
"WHAT?"(O.o) Everyone said and Slippy dropped the Game Boy. Falco continued on to say," I thought this was for us exclusively."
"Well…heheheheh…..you thought wrong. This IS an exclusive contest but there are fifteen contestants including you guys. It wouldn't be a contest without some competition. Right?"
"Tch…..yeah. You're right." (u.u)
"Okay then sorry about the sudden sad news but, let's go meet the others. Okay?" Mirage signaled everyone to follow her
"Ooookay….." (u.u) Everyone trudged behind Mirage as they approached the Galaxy Police.
"Members of Galaxy Police……may I have your attention." Mirage sounded loud and clearly "This is Team Star Fox. One of the three teams that you will be participating with. Please don't be afraid to converse with each other."
Fox began to blush extremely once again when he saw A'Lou. Oh no……not again. She's pretty…..Actually she's beautiful.
"Hey buddy……" A'Lou noticing Fox staring at her "Somethin' the matter?"
"N-n-n-no…..S-s-sorry for staring at y-y-you."
"Okay……"
Afterwards there was a moment of silence then Rollinda broke the tension, "So…..tell me something uhhhhh…..what's your name?" Referring to Fox
"Fox…..Fox McCloud."
"Oh…..seems only natural." Rollinda quite dumbfounded by the irony "Well Mr. McCloud, is a man named Peppy Hare still in the game?"
"Yeah." Fox answered nonchalantly
"Really?" Rollinda was happy to hear her uncle was still doing his duty in Star Fox. "Say, how is he?"
"He's okay……" I hope she doesn't pick up the lie.
"Oh…..Well that's quite a relief. Hmmmmmnnnn……" Rollinda sighed with relief. Something about that guy's answer. I just don't like way he said it.
Old reliable Falco had to say something to add fuel to the fire, "What are you talking about Fox, we left that man in an unconscious state after he had a stroke."(O.O) Rollinda looked at Fox while he continued, "Oh and we forgot to call the medical corps."
"YOU!" Rollinda got enraged all over with her blood red eye. "You fucking lied to me McCloud." She got up at walked slowly towards Fox. "And Now……I am going to rip your THROAT! RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" She choked the hell out of Fox and she started foaming at the mouth again.
Looking at his rabbit partner with regret that he didn't bring the tranquilizer gun "Just like you to start some shit Falco." Ace scoffed "Don't even know if somebody could really get hurt."
"Hey shut your trap! I really didn't want to see your face because you just piss me off in general. You always were the favorite…..the goody two shoes…..the crowd pleaser. Why did you even bother showing your ass?"
Before Ace could respond, "Fa-fal……ack ooh….do…..somethingaaaack!" Fox managed to mutter out.
A'Lou stood up and gave Rollinda a swift kick to the head, making her stumble and turning her eyes back to normal. Roll released her grip on Fox and simply sat back where she was and muttered, "Thanks A'Lou……" softly
A'Lou replied, "No problem….." in the same hushed manner.
Then Ace continued, " I showed my ass here because this is an assignment. Besides…."
"Yeah, whatever….." Falco drew his attention towards the female lupine "Hey, how YOU doing cutie?"
"I'm still kickin'….." Was A'Lou's response
"Heh….I like your moves. How about you show me some of those when we have a little one-on-one time? How bout it?"
"Heh…" A'Lou chuckled to herself then said, "Maybe if you had more respect for your brother. I would really consider it then say no. But now, I don't even have to think about it. No."
"Pssssshaw….you'll come around." Falco smiled and brushed it off his shoulder
Mirage's ears flicked as she saw another group arrive, "Oh! As riveting as this conversation sounds I must go greet the next team. So if you'll excuse me……" Mirage quickly got up and went over to the gate.
"Hello, welcome participants welcome to……this guy's place. I am Mirage one of the Master's faithful servants. It's very nice to meet all of you." She bowed gracefully towards the foursome and extends her hand towards the one-eyed Wolf.
"Hey Kitten…." Wolf smiled at her and took her hand "How are you?"
"My name is Mirage, sir and I am fine. What is your name and team?"
"My name is Wolf O'Donnell of the famous mercenary team Star Wolf. So Mirage, right?" Mirage nodded her head "Mirage, what's a little kitten like you like in a guy? Huh?" He pulls her closer to his body.
"Oh….well….I….I…." Mirage blushed widely
"It's okay sweetie. How about you and me go out? You can show me a little of Corneria and while you're at it, a little of yourself."
(O.o) "Oh….I….I."
"Don't be shy baby……I don't bite…..in public." Wolf leaned his face towards her to kiss her
Panther managed to pull her away from Wolf as he was attempting to kiss her. " I am so sorry for this barbarian womanizer. He's so insensitive." Panther got down on one knee and took her hand and kissed it. "My name is Panther Caroso and here is a rose for you!"
"Oh, Thank you! That's very sweet of you Mr. Caroso." She pinned the rose acting as a corsage "And your name is sir….?" Mirage looked over Panther to look at Leon.
Leon muttered some stuff to himself as he looked at the threesome Stupid little cat bitch taking away my men…….Grrrrrrr…..I can't stand her……Although I love her outfit. It's very cute. I have to ask her where she got it from. "My name is Leon…..Leon Powalski and I HAVE to ask…..Where did you get that altered tuxedo from dear?"
"Well a little tailor shop down in Corneria. Do you like it? I can give you the name and number for it later, if you prefer."
"Oh My God! That would be fab, darling, totally fab." Leon took both of her hands in with his Hmmm….she's not so bad after all….but she just better watch out for Panther…..that's all I am trying to say.
"Well guys…..how about we go into the gazebo and meet the others….Errr…Shall we?" Mirage pointing the direction of the group of eight already seated and what it looked like to be conversing from afar.
" 'Meet the others'"? Wolf said in shock. "Waitaminute waitaminute waitaminute……..I thought that it was especially for us…Team Star Wolf."
"Well…..you are especially wrong sir you see……WHOOO!" Mirage was taken in by Wolf yet again.
"So you got a joke up your sleeve eh? You know what I would also like to look up….?" Wolf teasing her again and held her closer.
"A dictionary. So you can find your name under 'dick'. Because you certainly are acting like one." Mirage pushed herself off of Wolf.
"Ohhh-ho-ho…I am impressed." Panther scoffed Mirage one Wolf Zero……HAH!
"That girl's got brains working for her as well as looks….." Leon smiled as well Hmmm,if his name was under 'dick' in the dictionary…..it would be for what he has….not what he's like. Then again, to impress me you'd have to be in the Guinness World Record book…..for one GIANT reason.
"Okay then boys…..let's go to the gazebo!" Mirage winked and signaled them to follow her.
Meanwhile Back at the Gazebo……"Goddammit! All you do is kiss Fox's ass and you really think he likes you? HA! You gotta be jokin' me….." Sarge was trying to hold A'Lou back from beating the shit out of Krystal.
Krystal took her staff and aimed it straight at the staggering lupine.
"You're just mad because I am waaaayy sexier than you'll ever be. Such a hater. In that case…..I'll give ya more to hate me for…." She walked over towards Fox and kissed him fully on the lips for about 5 seconds and let go of him gently. When she retreated she licked hers lips and smiled at Fox as she walked back to her seat.
"Grrrrrrr….." Krystal gripped her staff and scowled at A'Lou. She is SO dead……. Then she gave Fox a dirty look.
Meanwhile Fox was lost in his own space as he was in a trance "Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh…..oh-oh-oh-oh,"
SMACK! Falco slapped Fox to get him back to reality
"Sorry pal…I had to snap you out of it….."
"Thanks." Fox rubbed his cheek
"No problem…..Say Fox…? How do you do it? You already got a kiss from that cutie over there and she wouldn't even consider me….Falco…What kinda sense does that make? I am the smooth operator." Falco clenched his fists together
"Heh…..your game was always off….." Ace scoffed as he looked at his frustrated younger brother
"Why don't you shut up for a change?" Falco sneered
"…..heheheheh…." A'Lou snickered
Falco looked over towards A'Lou "You……what's so funny? You know…..this would've never happened if you would just go out with me."
"Please Falco….." Krystal interrupted "A little hoochie like that would go out with anyone…..you just need to name your right price."
"Heh…Speaking of right prices….."A'Lou snickered to herself and pulled out a card from her pocket. Then she walked over towards Krystal to hand it to her and said, "If you named your right price there's a plastic surgeon out there that's willing to fix you up. Then, I might consider you a threat when it comes to Fox."
"GRRRRRR! That's it!" Krystal pointed her staff right at A'Lou "I am going to KILL you…."
"Hey bitch….point that thing at me again and I'll stick it where the sun don't shine."
Krystal charged at A'Lou and managed to tackle her down to the ground. Krystal was slapping the hell out of A'Lou and A'Lou managed to catch one of her hands and push her to the ground. Then she punched Krystal in the face twice.
As everyone was watching in hysterics, Rollinda sat next to Fox and whispered, "Hey…..who do you think would win? I'm betting twenty on A'Lou….unfortunately."
"I'm with ya……who's betting against?"
"Ummm……Falco and Slippy."
"Tch….they're idiots…."
Mirage and Team Star Wolf rushed over towards the gazebo as they heard indistinct screaming and saw A'Lou and Krystal wrestling on the floor while everyone else was cheering them on.
"Huh? Ummmm….Guys…..?" (o.O) Mirage attempted to call for attention "Guys…..?" Both teams were encouraging the fight and giving high fives to each other.
"Kick her ass!"
"Yeah yeah! Represent!"
"Krystal, I got the ambulance on speed dial if you need medical attention. Okay?"
"Huuuuuuh……" Mirage sighed "GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYS!"
"OOF!" A'Lou managed to get one more punch in Krystal's stomach
"…………" (o.O) Then everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Mirage and the three men behind her. Krystal could not contain her coughing before Mirage began to speak.
"Everyone….this is team three out of four, Star Wolf. Star Wolf this is….." Mirage was cut off by Wolf who stepped in front of her
"We know who they are…..well except you…..-Pointing to Ace -……and you." -Pointing towards Rollinda.-
"WOLF!" Fox drew out his blaster "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Yeah…..you too lizard breath…." Falco drew out his blaster and aimed it at Leon
Panther sat right next to Krystal and said, "I don't know what you are doing here but….I am sure glad you're here. Ah….Lovely Krystal. You are so beautiful….."
Wolf looked to his left to see Panther kissing all on a pissed off Krystal with a black eye, "Bobcat…..what are you doing?"
Panther stammered "I…..I….was…."
"Man….if you don't get over here and back us up……"
"I will be back my love……." Panther kissed her hand and got up real quickly to aid his other teammates. "Wolf…..how many times to I have to keep telling you?……my name is Panther…..geez….."
As both the guys from Star Wolf and Star Fox were about to shoot the hell out of each other…..Mirage tried to get in the middle "Please guys this is neutral ground ….don't do this…..Please…" She pleaded
"Stay out of this sexy….." Wolf gently pushed her aside and kept his blaster on the angry vulpine.
"No….wait please don't….." Mirage pleaded as she tried to grab his shoulder. Sarge stopped her in time. "H-huh?"
"Not much is going to happen here don't worry……They just put up a front because they know better on neutral ground. If they really wanted to go to jail…..shots would be heard."
BAM! Slippy looked very shocked
"Oops….sorry….my gun went off….."Slippy nervously chuckled
Idiot……Everyone else thought with an anime sweatmark.
"Don't worry…." A'Lou butted in "It's just going to be one of those,-A'Lou imitating Fox and Wolf- "Why don't you shoot? No, you shoot since you think you're all bad…..Oh, come on pup….shoot if you think you're all bad…..Wolf, why don't you shut your trap and…."
"Okay…..I get the picture." Mirage said "Oh! It seems like the last of the teams has finally arrived. I'll will go get them….." Mirage went off to walk past the six males who all have blasters aimed dead at each other.
"Why don't you shoot?" Wolf teased
"No, you shoot since you think you're all bad….." Fox countered
"Oh come on pup…..shoot if you think you're all bad……"
"Wolf why don't you shut…."
Everyone else sighed deeply and looked onward as the six guys all held out blasters and Wolf and Fox still going at it.
Meanwhile, Mirage went to the gate for the last time…Upon arriving she said her rehearsed greeting line with the last group, "Hello, welcome participants welcome to……this guy's place. I am Mirage one of the Master's faithful servants. It's very nice to meet all of you." She bowed gracefully towards the foursome and extends her hand towards the female lupine.
"Hey." Zane said calmly "My name is Zane of the Vice Girls. It's good to meet you. This is my crew behind me." Zane turned around and Mirage looked over at the other three girls.
Sol-Ratcht came up first, "How do you do? My name is Sol-Ratcht Saporro. Very nice to meet you."
"Ahhhh….Saporro….I met up with a woman that looked almost like you. Except she had more of a muscular composition and she has longer hair."
"EEEEEK! That's my sister…….Oh my God…." Sol-Ratcht backed away in shock. Oh no….she's going to boast on how better a life she's having and what dumb decisions I made for myself……Ohhhhh……
Ava struggled a little with the carryon bag and she stopped with a sigh of relief to shake hands with Mirage "Huuuuh…..huuuuuh….Hi…My name is…..Ava-Vincent. Thank you…..f-for….inviting us to the mansion."
"Oh…..I am just a servant sweetheart. Do you need help with your suitcase Ava? I'll help you out!" Mirage took the bag up with the slightest of ease.
"Thank you soooo much!" Ava smiled and bowed to Mirage
"No problem!"
Kylette approached her last with a little pep in her step, "Hiya, my name is Kylette! Pleased to meetcha! Lemme ask you one question?"
"Okay….." I wonder what does she want to ask……? I hope it's not about Master Bates's name…….hehehehehehe….Oh God….I laugh just thinking about it. Mirage tries not to laugh so she stifles the sound with her hand.
"Are there any hot guys here….?" Kylette was being all gushy in hopes and dreams "I mean is it just us or we have some company?"
"To tell the truth……yes."
"Weeeeeee! Thank you lord!" Kylette jumped for joy and grabbed her bags "So what are we waiting for? Let's GO!" ( )
Zane walked up to Mirage to whisper something in her ear, "Sorry…..Kylette's a rare jewel." She backed away and said out loud, "So Mirage, where do we have to go?"
"This way……" Mirage pointed towards the gazebo I hope those guys settled down…..they certainly get into heated battles really quick. I hope seeing an all-girl group will calm down those guys…..
The five ladies walked towards the gazebo and they heard constant "I know you are but what am I"s at the same time from Wolf and Fox. "Oh…Boy…." Mirage had a sour smile on her face
"Who's that making all of that noise?" Zane asked in a deep tone almost intrigued by both of the men's voices
"Um…you'll find out in a little bit. Heh-heh-heh….." Mirage still kept her pace
Finally they reached the gazebo and only Fox and Wolf were still standing and out of breath. The other four gave up and sat down in their seats.
"Whew….whew….I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?" I KNOW…..!"
"Guys Guys GUUUUUUUUUUUUYS!" Mirage stood right in between them "Please stop…..this is getting TOO annoying…..Besides the last team has arrived. Ladies and Gentlemen please meet the Vice Girls…." Mirage pointed out the group of girls.
"Whoa….." Wolf eyed Zane "Ummm….H-h-h-how are-are-are y-y-y-you d-d-d-doing?" Shit..I am sounding like that pup….But she's gorgeous. Damn….I have to make her mine……
Zane looked at Wolf with slit eyes and a sexy smile "I'm fine…..what's your name?"
"I….I….I'm okay…." Wolf slaps his forehead "I meant my name is Wolf what's your's?"
"I'm Zane…..pleasure to meet you."
"The pleasure is all mine" Wolf takes her hand and kisses it.
"Oooooh! Zane you already got a Romeo to your Juliet!" Kylette giggled
" Oh be quiet Ky…." Zane laughed it off then she looks Wolf dead in the eyes " But I think Wolf and I will be good friends. Right Wolf?"
(O,d)"R-right…" Wolf stared directly into Zane's eyes back But I want to be MORE than just friends baby….Can't we just be lovers? Oh please…..?
"Uh-oh….Wolf fell in love. Just like him though…..It's cute how quickly the poor guy falls in love." Leon looks at Wolf. I will admit the girl is simply divine. I'll help her in any way I can so that she can tease him enough to want her desperately, so that he'll do anything…..even sleep with me….-strange noise- I will have my way with him and go through this Zane girl. Maybe she can give me some tips on her accessories. Girl can dress!
Panther agreed with Leon and held another rose in his hand "Yeah…..I didn't know Wolf could be so kind and docile towards women. I am impressed. Maybe I should teach him some pointers on picking up women."
"Shut up Tabby…." Wolf sneered at Panther
"Ummmm….may I help you?" Sol-Ratcht said while a blue falcon groped her by hugging her from behind
"Yeah…." Falco was dazed but not confused "How about you and I get better acquainted on let's say a date?"
"Maybe…..depends…."
(o.O) "Really?"
"I said maybe….NOW GET OFF OF ME THIS INSTANT!" Sol roared at him
"Yes ma'am." Falco released her and she gave him a semi-dirty look. Falco then smiled at himself.
Fox was staring at Kylette dead-on. Kylette noticed that and had an anime sweatmark on the back of her head "Hi handsome! What's your name?" Kylette extends her hand out towards him
"……….." (O.o) I can't talk….I dunno what to say…..All I can do is look at her….her cute face, her athletic body, the glimmer in her eyes her beautiful smile……her….twin tails? Poor baby….I wonder what happened to her?
"Ummmm….hello?" She waved her hand in front of Fox, who was drooling and staring at her in a mindless state. "Aye….forget it….."
Krystal decided to add something in, "Yeah….forget him because he's mine!"
"Look don't get slapped…." Kylette started to get testy "I don't even believe we met…..so I intend to keep it that way for your sake." She turned to Ava to say something in her native language "Sorrei no ikemi datsua necra……" (That bitch is getting on my nerves…….)
Ava tried to calm her down in Al Bhed "Shhh…..shhh….Kylette…Oei koredeki mizno weqeri matezune……Ar's no eki wey adti…." (Kylette….You shouldn't be talking about strangers like that calm down…..It's no way to act….)
Everyone bugged out when they heard the girls talk. But Krystal was quite delighted to hear a language that was close to hers…..The only problem is Dino and Al Bhed may sound the same but they are conflicting languages. That means that the interpretation of one language is the inverse of what it truly means for the other.
Krystal felt sorry for what she said earlier so she said in Dino, "Nen…..A tatd'k moud ke juo nxuk A juat ouhcah. A'm jehho……Cok'j jkuhk eloh. Ebuo?" (Wow….I didn't mean to say what I said earlier. I'm sorry……Let's start over. Okay?) She extends her hand out towards the trio.
(O.o) "……….." Sol, Ava and Kylette looked over at Krystal
"Mif datsua coledo einha?" (Is this bitch crazy?) Kylette said to herself "Ohei iduha meyksaiwa….." (She is on something……)
Then Krystal said, "Whouk! Muoro, kxaj ned'k ro je rut!" (Great! Maybe, this won't be so bad!) Krystal exclaimed to herself then giggled Maybe they are from Cerinia…..maybe, I'm not the only one.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" Kylette said out loud….."She thinks she's running things here huh? I am SO going to get her for disowning us Titanians……Pissing me off….She's as good as dead…."
"-sniff sniff- "Ava started to cry…."Why would she say something like that? She's so mean…..She's heartless…..Boo-hoo-hoo…." She sobbed uncontrollably on Sol
While everyone else looked in confusion Krystal was happy and Kylette and Sol were fuming mad. Ava couldn't help but cry
Zane went over to Krystal and gave her some advice, "Ummmm….from the looks of things maybe you should stick with Standard (English) language okay?"
"Why? They look like they understand Dino very well!" Krystal clapped "Oh Boy! To converse in my first language is really something else! I miss those days……"
"Yeah…okay….but I bet they are planning a way to kill you." Zane pointed over Kystal's shoulder to show Kylette sharpening her weapon that was like a dagger and Sol grinning evilly at the flame she produced with the snap of her fingers.
"……..okay…..Standard language is fine with me…..But where do they come from if they speak a language similar to mine? I almost thought they were from my home planet….." (u.u)
"Oh ho ho…." Zane laughed "Those girls are from Titania and they speak Al Bhed…..They even taught me most of the language."
"Oh…..I see….their language is way different from mine's. But they act like they know what I am saying….or so I think….."
"Yeah but for your sake…..stick to English. Okay? Just some friendly advice." Zane walked away from her
Mirage cut in "Well everyone! I am glad the meet and greet is over. Now we can proceed to go inside the mansion and get the lay out of the contest. So if everyone would please follow me….."
Mirage walked out of the gazebo down the stepping stones in the grand rose bush garden and everyone followed her in a mass.
Rollinda rubbed her fist with eagerness as she was about to approach Wolf O' Donnell. How to do this……? Hmmmm….I can just tell him out front but…he might, no scratch that, he WILL kill me. Maybe if I was just a friend then work my way into beating his ass then hauling him over to the superiors…..heheheheh….yeah….Rollinda you are such a genius! I'd kiss my own ass if that was physically possible….. She picked up her speed to catch up with Wolf, "Hey!"
"Huh? What do you want? Do I even know you?"
"Nope…But I want to get to know you better."
"Hey listen babe, I really don't go for rabbits…..they can't do diddly-squat in bed."
This assrat……Oooooh….."Hahaha…." Rollinda replied with a sugar sweet laugh "Oh no…..I thinking of being good friends…."
"Good friends huh? Hmmm……" Wolf looked at her "Yeah…okay."
"Cool! My name's Rollinda." She extended her hand out to Wolf and he took it
"Okay, you don't mind if I called you Roll for short do you?"
"No problem at all….." At the end of this day….you are as good as arrested, fucker.
Wolf's younger sister A'Lou was ahead of Rollinda and her ears flicked when she heard Rollinda and Wolf talking. Ace noticed it and asked, "What is it?"
"Rollinda trying a friendly approach…..That might not be a good idea."
"How's that?"
"Bein' his sister and all….we fight like everyday and it almost seems like a sparring match. He calls it playing. Also he gives wedgies like Christmas gifts."
"Ooookay…."
"I swear it's like a hemorrhage is going to follow right after. And you remember 'Open Chests' and 'Noogies'…..Right?"
Ace starched his head "Um…..I think so…."
"I know we're a little bit too old for that but we still keep doing that to each other, He tends to be really rough with girls who aren't glowing with feminine charm and all guys. Rollinda might be a new target if she trying this "friendly" approach."
"One thing she can do is defend herself……Seriously."
"Let's just see….." A'Lou looked onward towards Mirage "Let's just see….."
Towards the back of the line Kylette and Leon were having a friendly little chat.
"Oooh! How about that one?" Kylette pointed at Ace
"No darling….it's a bit sagging too much. I kinda expected more but it seems a workout is needed."
"But a bird's ass is kinda feathery…..so you couldn't really tell right off the bat. You'd have to pluck the feathers off to really tell."
"Oooh! I'd like to do that for a change." Leon and Kylette giggled at the same time and held each other's hands.
"But what about that guy….?" Kylette referring to Fox "I mean….he's kinda cute but….he seems the passive type. I don't know what to do with that type of guy."
"Well dear, the passive types are hard to turn into the aggressive type. Believe me I know. But maybe we can whip him into shape for you."
"Ooh!" Kylette squealed, "That would be cool! Hey Leon, what are you looking for in guy?"
"I don't really care about all that inside feelings and looks are a perk but not a necessity. If the guy can bring it…..Well….he's good in my book."
"Amen! My kinda guy!" Kylette clapped for Leon. () Oh Cool! My first Gay friend! I hope he can give me good pointers when it comes to other stuff….ahem ahem…
Leon put his arm around Kylette as they kept walking. I really like this girl. She's a freak just like me! We can talk about anything and it seems she's so comfortable around me.
Mirage opened the door and held it open for everyone as they walked in…..
"OOOOOH! AAAHHHHH!" Everyone gawked at the illustrious main room of the mansion. (O.O/ O.d)
"It's almost like a……a…..umm…one of those imaginary things…." Kylette was stunned as she smiled
Sol looked at her, "You mean 'fairy tale' right?"
"Yeah! I guess….."
Mirage kept the flow going, "Everyone please follow me…..This way! Please everyone try to keep up with me."
"Wow……this is one killer pad….I wonder is this where we'll be staying at?" A'Lou asked Wolf
"Meh….so baby sister…"
"Wolf? That sounds so creepy……just call me A'Lou or sis…"
"Okay so A'Lou, how are things going with you?"
"It's okay you know….not much happening in Fortuna. Mom misses ya though. You should go see her sometime."
"Oh okay….." Wolf looked at the people ahead of him "A'Lou…..?"
"What?"
"I got something for you….." Wolf smiled and "grabbed" something in his pocket
A'Lou looked carefully at Wolf "Oh really?" I don't like how he said it…..
"A Hurtz Donit!" Wolf pinched her nose really hard
"EEEYYAAAAAHHH! Quit it you dickwad this hhhhurts!" A'Lou punched Wolf in the stomach
"Oof!" Wolf only drew back a couple of steps and regained his composure "You still….punch like a jit." Wolf ran off laughing
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLF! I am going to kill you!" A'Lou chased after her brother running past Sarge and Ace.
"I guess A'Lou was right……" Ace commented
"Oh….about Wolf and "girl" friends?"
"Yeah…."
Sarge laughed a bit. "Yup…I remember little fights and squabbles with him. They are fun once you think about it. It's like being in childhood once again."
"You know…..you're right when you really think about it." Then they kept on walking to keep up with Mirage
Leon was walking aside with Panther started to notice, "Man….this is one big ass hallway…."
Panther looking at Krystal in a trance, "Yeah….this sure is…."
"Hey what's wrong with you?"
"It's Krystal…..I don't know what to do….Should I approach her?"
Leon muttered really quick, "No, you should approach me…."
"WHAT?"(o.O)
Awwww….I didn't think he would understand me. "Huh…? Ummm….yeah go right ahead."
"Yeah! I'll do that!" Panther's ego rose
"Go get 'em tiger! Or well Panther!" Leon slapped his ass.
Panther was walking closer to Krystal……
"Hee-hee-hee-hee!" Leon walked right behind Panther and continued slapping his ass SLAP! SLAP! SLAP SLAP SLAP!
Panther stopped ( ) "Leon I get the picture…..thanks for the ego boost. That's enough okay?"
SLAP SLAP SLAP!
"Okay Leon….I got it…..Stop already." ( )
Leon kept giggling uncontrollably SLAP! SLAP SLAP SLAP!
"Grrrrrrrr……LEON! WOULD YOU STOP SLAPPING MY ASS ALREADY?"(O.o)……. Oooops….oh shit. I shouldn't have said that aloud….
"…………." (O.o/O.d)Everyone turned around and kept their eyes on Panther
"Ummm….hehehehehehe…..nothing to see here….I was just acting…..please everyone let's just to the destination and get settled there." (oo) Panther looked very sick with embarrassment
Zane looked at Panther and scoffed, " My my……what a tangled web we weave….."
Mirage stopped at door which was gold and silver encrusted and had a sign that gleamed, PROJECTION ROOM "Here we are….." Mirage pointed to the sign "In here the owner of this estate will fill all of you in on the contest rules and regulations. So please have a seat and I will be waiting near the door. When the orientation is finished there'll be a Q and A session if you have any problems. Farewell for now……." Mirage opened the door and escorted the people inside the room and closed the door
The broody old turtle stood firm and still. He was scanning the whole crowd as they came in. "Humph…."
"Oh wow!" Ava twirled around in a circle "This room is beautiful….."
Sol-Ratcht noticed the room for its excellence too "This is very extravagant for a mere projection room. It's very architecturally advanced."
"It seems like each part of the house we encounter gets more and more eloquent." Rollinda smiled
Kylette saw the turtle "Hey, look guys! It's one of those statutes that almost look real." She went over to the man
"Ummm….Ky?" Zane tried to stop her "Oh dear god what is she doing?"
"Hey look at me! I'm queen of this palace! HAHAHAHAAH! All those to stand before me are my subjects!" Kylette was sitting on the gentleman's head "I am NOT a crook!……. I am a thief!" () She did the peace sign with both of her hands and giggled.
"Grrrrrrrrrrrr……" The turtle gritted his teeth If this blasted girrrrrrrrrrrrl doesn't get off my head……
"Hey guys this statue vibrates….." Kylette jumps off "I'm not into that freaky kinky crap….."
BONK!
"Ow…..Hey what was that for?…..you're a statue and…..YOU'RE A STATUE……AND YOU MOVED….." Kylette stepped back….. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" She ran behind Wolf and clutched his waist and kept whimpering.
"Hey….Hey Hey Hey! Kiddo, you are caving in my obliques…..Let….go." Wolf struggled to get the twin tailed girl off him. "Honey….I…can't…..breathe….." (xx)
"This place is creepy……Oh….sorry Mister….." Kylette released her grip on Wolf and he fell on the floor unconscious.
"Ahem…." The turtle spoke again "Welcome everrrrrrrrrryone, to my humble abode. My name is Master Bates, I……."
"Hee-hee-hee-hee……."(:) ) Everyone replied
"What in the devil is so funny? I am to intrrrrrrrrroduce myself beforrrrrrrrre the contest begins am I not? Now, as I said my name is Master Bates and….."
"Hee-hee-hee HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (XD)" Everyone (except Wolf) got on the floor and laughed their ass off. Master Bates was infuriated with everyone's initial response and he forced his cane into the ground to signal everyone that playtime was over.
"Whoo-hoo-hoo…..Whoo…." Everyone got up from the floor and Zane being the nice friend she was helped Wolf to a nearby chair. There were three rows of five and a large monitor screen displayed in front of the chairs.
"Now, as I was so RRRRRRRRUDELY interrrrrrrrrrrupted by you kids, I was going to go on with my introduction. Now, this is ONE of my homes in Corneria. I own two mansions and an acrrrrrrre-lot house in Corrrrrrrnerrrrrria and….."
As he was going on and on about his "forture" Falco was making side comments about the turtle's "accent" to A'Lou, Kylette, Slippy and Ace. "Hey…..what the hell is up with his weird ass "accent"? If we can even call it that. "
Kylette answered, "Rich people can be SO retarded. Ooh! That reminds me of a trick……watch and learn."
"And that is how I acquirrrrred the forrrrrrrtune in Forrrrtuna….Ohh ho ho…..sometimes I humorrrrrrrrr myself…."
"I bet you that's not all he does by himself…." Sol said out loud
"Heheeehehehehehe….." (XP) Everyone else stifled his/her laughs
"What in blazes is so funny? I swearrrrrrr you kids need to learrrrrrrn some rrrrrrrrrrespect forrrrrrrrrrr yourrrrrrrrr elderrrrrrs….."
Kylette waved her hand frantically "Pardon me, Mr. Bates? May I ask one quick question…?"
"Make it quick……" He sneered at her
"Can you say your name twice followed by 'everyday'?"
"Hmmmm…..Masterrrrr Bates Masterrrrrrr Bates everrrrrryday…..Masterrrrr Bates Masterrrrrrr Bates everrrrrryday…..Masterrrrr Bates Masterrrrrrr Bates everrrrryday…..Masterrrrr Bates Masterrrrrrr Bates everrrrrrrryday…..What does this signify young lady?"
"That the truth shall set you free!"
"HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" (XD) Everyone else laughed
"Grrrrrrrr……" Master Bates scowled then he started to walk towards the crowd hitting his cane on the palm of his hand. As he walked past Zane, Panther, Leon and Sol they hushed quickly. Then came Rollinda, Sarge and Fox they quieted down as well. Constant laughter still could be heard.
"Ah….HAHAHAHA……Oh Come on guys! That was too funny! Laugh harder! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The turtle stepped past Ava and Krystal and they covered their mouths with their hands. As for Wolf……. not much sound is going to come out of him for a while.
"That was so funny right guys? Come on then, laugh LAUGH! Kylette encouraged
"Ah-H………" (o.O) A'Lou, Slippy and Ace saw Master Bates breathing all hard standing behind Falco and Kylette and decided now was a good time to stop…….
A' Lou waved her hand with an anime sweat mark "Ummmm…..yoo-hoo…..Stop laughing…." A'Lou hinted to Falco and Kylette
"Why? That guy looks like he does do that crap…..I mean…..come on….." Falco reasoned
"Yeah…..with that weird type of talking……'rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' HAH! He needs to use some of that money to buy a better "accent"."
"HAH-HAH!" Falco gave her a high-five "Ain't that the truth?"
BONK! BONK!
"Ow…."(--) Falco rubbed his head
"Owie….owie….ow"(u.u) Kylette rubbed her forehead
"You will cease all this inferrrrrrrrnal laughterrrrrrr you wenches! RRRRRRight this instant!" He stomped his cane on the ground "Everrrrrrryone take a seat as I explain the guidelines."
Kylette stopped rubbing her head "Did he just call us some mechanical tools?"
Falco nodded "No" and everyone shuffled towards a seat.
"Ahem…..now everyone. The contest is in tow. 10,000,000 Venomian Units are up for grabs. Do whatever you like to earn your share. Even if it means killing, stealing or deception. Think about it the less people in the house the bigger your sharrrrrrre is. The residence you will be staying in is my other mansion due east of here……." A picture of an antique Victorian doll mansion flashed on the screen.
All the girls and Leon smiled and thought Oh how cute, and all the guys grunted….."Meh….."
"Ooooh…..urgh…" Wolf then became alert and faintly noticed a hand on his pant zipper. It was dark so he had to make sure of something, "Hey Zane…..?" He called her in a hushed tone
"Yeah Wolf, what is it?" She replied
"Why do you have your hand on my pants?"
"Wolf, I am sitting in front of you……" That horny bastard…..why in the world would he think of something like that? Oooooh…….we barely know each other (--)
"Then who…..?"
CRUNCH! Wolf grabbed hold of a green hand and cracked his wrist bone.
"Ow!" Leon retracted his hand Damn it! I knew I should have started earlier…….
The turtle kept going on, "Here are the rrrrrrrrules, 1. No outside weapons, 2.If you leave the house you forfeit yourrrrrrrr prrrrrrrrize, 3. No outside food of any sorrrrrrrrt, 4. Don't take anything outside the house and finally 5. No acts of Law shall be exonerated in that house."
"What?" Rollinda complained Damn! Now I am so going to lose my collar……
"Yes you hearrrrrrrrd me…..now are therrrrrrrre any questions?"
"Why can't the law be practiced?……do you have something to hide?" Rollinda shot a brow
"Because to ensurrrrrrrre the safety and the rrrrrrrrreputation of my prrrrrrrroperrrrrrrrty and name……and no young missy, I have nothing to hide."
"Hmmmmm….." Rollinda sighed "Okay…..whatever you say sir….." He's got more to that lame excuse.
"Anymorrrrrrrrrre questions?" The turtle looked around
"How long do we stay at that place?" Sarge raised her hand
"Oh dearrrrrrrrrr me, I forrrrrrrrrrgot to mention. You will be staying therrrrrrre forrrrrrrrr a week." The turtle blushed
"WHAT?" (o.O/O.d) Everyone exclaimed
"Yes….yes…a week…..now…..anymorrrrrrrrre questions?"
"Yeah…." Falco raised his wing "So….where do we jack off…..I mean check in?"
"Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee……" Everyone snickered in the background
"Young people……..humph…..Any rrrrrrrrrrrrreal questions?"
Kylette raised her hand, "How many goddamn words with "r" do you have to say? Damn, we get the picture that your accent is annoying as ever….."
BONK!
"If you hit me with that stupid cane one more time……..I am going to…..take that cane and hit you with it……yeah…."
"Hey kid?" A'Lou tapped Kylette on the shoulder "That was weak……"
"Yeah I know….." (u,u)
"Now, orrrrrrrrrrrientation is now overrrrrrrrr……please go outside and meet Mirrrrrrrrrrage so she can take you all to the house. Thank you and good luck….." The turtle went into a back room. Idiotic meddlesome children……I hope they suffer in that old hell hole I call my first mansion……
Everyone got up and exited the projection room. Mirage looked upwards and looked at the whole cast. "Hmmmm…hehehehehehehe…..HAAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh God I listened to the whole thing…..hehehehehe…."
"See? It was funny? Told ya….I told ya!" Kylette laughed along with Mirage
"You guys are crazy…..heh-heh…Come on, there are three vans waiting outside to take you all to the house."
Everyone made there path back to the outside of the house and there were three vans waiting for them……
Mirage opened the gate and spoke to each of the drivers. After she finished with each of them she turns to the horde and says, "Okay! I have a list of who's on which van so listen carefully. In Van one, we have, Leon, Ace, Zane, Fox and Falco and your driver is Habiib……Please make your way into the van. We will all leave when everyone is situated in there vans."
The first group went over to a white caravan and was met by a gecko with his head in a turban. He was blasting out of the car, "Beware of the Boys" by Punjabi MC
"Hi….." Zane spoke out first "We're on this contest and your our driver…..pleased to meet you."
"Ah ah….yes. Verry goot….My nam eez Habiib. I'll weel be your driver for today. Please get een thee carr."
"Okay……( o.o)" Everyone else muttered and did just that
Mirage got the thumbs up from Habiib "Okay now they are situated….now people in van two are Panther, A'Lou, Ava, Sol-Ratcht and Krystal. And your driver is Sean DuBois. Please make your way into the van."
Panther smiled really widely due to the fact not only Krystal but also three other enchanting vixens surrounded him as well.
A greased up fox with a tight blue and white striped shirt, black pants and a barrette was standing with a smirk on his face. Some random cheesy French music was playing in the background. "Oh ho ho….Sacre Bleu….so many pretty leetle faces are here to haunt my mind. I am reeelly the lucky one, no?"
"Ummmm…yeah….we are from the contest and you're our driver. So let's get this ride over with okay?" A'Lou didn't wasn't in the mood for some second class Romeo to try and hit on her or the other three girls.
"Ho ho….ohh….you are quite ze lovely dame…..why don't we leave zees dullards and run away? Run away with moi….."
"Why don't you get the van started okay?"
"OH! Such a leetle cabbage with a brutal 'onesty and a sharp tongue….." He opens the door for the girls. Then he closed it before Panther could get in
"What the hell….? I board this van too you know?"
"You can open your own door you foreign pig…..Hmph." Sean entered the driver's side and closed his door.
Panther sneered at the driver "Okay what was that all about….?"
Ava saw Panther looking all upset so she climbed up to the passenger door and opened it for Panther, "Hey mister…..Hop in. We can't leave without you." She smiled at him
"Thank you dear….." Panther climbed in the seat That girl is really a sweetheart…
Sean muttered a couple of curse words and gave a thumbs-up to Mirage signaling her that his group was good to go.
Mirage saw the thumbs up and she continued, "Okay that leaves us with the last van. You all know who you are, Wolf, Slippy, Sarge, Rollinda and Kylette. You're driver is none other than Mr. Edwin." She points to an old, short raccoon who could barely stand up without his cane and he had on a cute little driver's uniform.
"Awwwww…..he's so cute for an old man." Kylette smiles "HEEEEY OLD MAN!"
The raccoon turns his prune old body around to Kylette's voice, "Howdy-do Everybod-AH!" Something slipped out of his mouth. "Confounthed thenthures….." His little stubbly knees shook as he bent down to pick up his set of dentures that was more than plainly covered in the dirt ground.
PLOP! The raccoon put the grimy set of fake choppers back in his mouth
"There….good as new." Then the raccoon noticed something "Hey….I didn't have that nasty pastrami at the retirement home….Or maybe I did…..Aye yi yi….." Mr. Edwin slaps his forehead softy
"Ewwww….." ( ) Everyone else looked at him
"Hey kids….aren't you gonna come over and get in the van? I gotta go home in a bit to take my stimulant medicine….without it I'll fall asleep on you…."
"You guys should get going…." Mirage pointed at the old smiling raccoon. "I'll be driving the last van with all of your luggage."
Rollinda scurried behind Mirage as she was about to go into the fourth van "Wait….wait…Mirage, Ms. Mirage…..do you have room for me? I mean come on between me and you that guy doesn't look like a suitable driver to me if you know what I mean."
"Hehehehe…." Mirage put her hand on Rollinda's shoulder "Don't worry, Rollinda. Mr. Edwin is one of the most safest, experienced drivers we entrust with our service. You are in the best hands out of the three drivers. Relax….As for all of you. Go get situated and we will all be good to go. Okay?"
"O-kay…" Rollinda whimpered
The last group of five went over to the elder fur and got into the van. The raccoon closed the door behind the last person and got into his own seat and closed the door. He put his hand out to give the final thumbs up and before everyone knew it they were off…….
Van #1
"He so contagious…..He turns my pages…..He's got me anxious, He's what I'm waiting for…He keeps me guessing….Spontaneous….He's so persuasive, and I'm his lady…" Habiib was happily beating his hand on the steering wheel to the beat of another Arabic-sounding song as he was making his way on the Cornerian Overpass. (One of the largest freeways in Lylat) The gecko hummed the rest of the tune because he forgot the song…"Hmmm…Hmmm…Hmmm..Hm hm…Hmmm…."
(O.O) "……….." Everyone else looked at the Gecko holding their seats in fear
"Gosh, you all are awfully quiet….Is there something the matter with you all?" Habiib looked at the rear view mirror.
Zane decided to speak up, "Oh,there's no big deal. It's just that you are on THE BUSIEST FREEWAY GOING OVER 100 MILES PER HOUR!"
"Oh oh that…..eez eet too shlow? I could pick up the speed eef you'd like? Yes, yes I can do dat."
"NO!" Everyone screamed
There was a moment in silence before someone spoke again, this time it was Fox. "Ummm….excuse me sir? Could you please slow down? Or stop swerving into different lanes? Or STOP CUTTING OTHER PEOPLE OFF? They looked very ticked off….." Fox looked nervously at the nearby driver who was swearing and holding a brick with the free hand.
"Oh ho ho….they are complementing the great Habiib on his fantastic driving skills! Yes, very goot driving skeells….." Habiib nodded to himself
SCREEEECH! Habiib had to change lanes really quick
"Oh, Ganesha (pronounced Gan-ney-sha)…..what are wrong with these drivers today?"
Leon looked in fear as thought to himself, My I love a fast ride and all but damn…..it's usually in the bedroom –strange noise—Oh Leon! You really need to stop thinking nasty at a time like this…..Your life is on the line.
"Oh look people….THE EXIT!" Habiib forcefully turned the van onto the decelerating lane and sped down the ramp.
"EVERYONE!" Falco yelled "GET OUT A PEN AND PAPER AND START WRITING YOUR LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT!" Everyone quickly got out a pen and paper and started to write in hysterics
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Everyone screamed with Habiib still in his singsong attitude and the whole van flying down the road
Van #2
"Ah ladeez, how good of it to see you girls grace my van……Eet eez how can you say, bland. No? You see in my home planet….." Sean turned around
"Ummm….excuse me sir, shouldn't you keep your eyes on the road?" Sol pointed towards the windshield
"Oui, Oui! Pleez forgeev me…..I am so sorry madmoiselle…..Eet's just that I rarely see such beauties as yourself……"
"It's okay…..it's okay…..just keep your eyes on the road is all I am trying to say."
"Ahhhh…..Corneria." Sean begins again "Almost makes me homeseek….."
"Well where do you live mister?" Ava asked
"Ah….mah petite millefille…." Sean turns around again "You see…."
"TURN AROUND!" A'Lou, Sol and Panther screamed
"Oh! Excuse moi…..hehehehehe…." Sean looks at the road again "You see I used to reside in Fortuna's upper hemisphere."
"No you can't…..not how you talk an crap…." A'Lou interjected
"Oh ho ho ho….but I am sweet girl. You are from the streets no?"
"Streets?" A'Lou scoffed "No, I am from the middle sect of Fortuna."
"But your accent……"
"That is a result of my job…..I work in the lower division of Fortuna. I can't help not taking in the accent."
"You are right you know…." He turns around "There eez a sayeeng een ze upper part of Fortuna and it goes like this…."
"WATCH OUT!" Krystal screamed
"Oh…uh-oh…." Sean could not get back on the road and he was already going to plow into the outside barrier of the Cornerian Overpass
CRASH!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Everyone screamed as they were going off a 70 foot bridge
"Oh mommy! I don't want to DIIEEE!" The driver complained
"Oh if I make this alive…..I'll go to church from now on…..Oh please God let us make it out of heeeerrrrrrre!" A'Lou prayed out loud
And everyone else said, "AMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEN!"
CRASH! The van impacted nose first into the grassy grounds of the third estate of Master Bates…..
"Owwwww….." The five contestants complained
"Oui Manifique! We are already here……How wonderful eez that?" Sean got out first "Ladeez and dullard, we 'ave arrived at where you will be stayeeng." He opened the door for the girls and made sure everyone of them got out. Then he closed the door on Panther
"Heeeeyyy….." Panther scowled "Let me out you idiot!"
"Oh yeah you….." The driver opened the door not looking at Panther "Get ze hell out you cad….."
Panther got out of the car, "With pleasure….."
Sean went back to the traumatized girls, "Ahh….Ladeez, I am so sorry for all that…..but I do have some good news…"
A'Lou gave a half-smile "Oh really? Is it that we already have an early compensation for our pain and suffering?"
"No….I just saved a bunch of moneey on my car eensurance by switcheeng to Geico. Eesn't that lovely?"
"……………….." (o.O) Everyone looked at the crazed fox
"I'm outta here….nice meetin' ya….whatever your name is….." A'Lou walked quickly away from the craziness before she cracked
"Yeah me too….." Sol walked off to catch up with A'Lou "Later….."
"Hmph….." Panther walked off without a word
"Bye bye Mister! Nice meeting you." Ava bowed her head and skipped off with the others
"You…." Sean called off too Krystal "You in ze blue fur. How about we go off somewhere and geet bettar acquainted?"
"Ummmm….No. Bye!" Krystal waved and walked off quickly
"Sacre bleu….. Maybe I should go get a real driver's license……oh well….I still 'ave the charm to geet any gerl I want…..Oh ho ho ho…."
Van #3
Mr. Edwin was humming a tune in his head as everyone looked out a window……
Man, this is boring….I wonder if Mr. Edwin will let us listen to some music….this dead silence is driving me crazy. Let alone….his slow ass driving is making me tired as hell…."Hey Mr. Edwin?" Kylette called out sweetly
"Yes….dear?"
"Can you turn on the radio?"
"No I don't know some guy name Ray or the fact that I can turn him into a ho."
"Huh?" She looked at the old senile raccoon "No, no sir I said radio….."
"I'm sorry dear I already told you I can't turn Ray into a ho……"
"Okay….music….can we hear some music?"
"Oh you mean the radio? Oh…..why didn't you say so dear?"
"I did you old kahootz……." Kylette muttered to herself
The other four snickered as the driver fine tuned the station until he got something. This station also known for playing earth music already had a song in the middle of the track. Slippy and Kylette already knew what it was and they giggled.
"WEEEEEEE! It's Vitamin C! YAY!"
Sarge leaned forward to ask Wolf and Rollinda something, "Who is the world is Vitamin C? I thought that was a supplement that you take when you are sick."
Rollinda turned around "She's an earthling who only made a one-hit wonder. And like all one-hit wonders they disappear from the music business…..When their first song wears out. For her it was a song called "Graduation"."
"You're a fan of her's?" Wolf looked at her intrigued
"Oh no! I just know a lot……heheheheh" I can't blow my cover…..Maybe I just should have said "Yes"…..
"Cool…." Wolf looked out the window She seems kinda jumpy…..what's up with her? Is she on something?
"OOH! The chorus is coming up!" Kylette squealed as the music kept playing on and on
Kylette and Slippy sang in unison (Unfortunately Slippy butchered every note of that song)
"As we go on
We remember
All the good times
We had together
As our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
FRIENDS FOREVER!"
"Hey!" A voice came over the radio "Will you two shut the fuck up already so I can sing? Gawd, you two are WAAAAAAY out of tune. Ahem….."
Kylette kept singing as everyone else was looking crazed, "……………" (o.O/O.d)
"Well that was totally horrid….." Sarge looked at Slippy
"Horrid? That was the worst I ever heard in my entire life……"
Rollinda interjected "Wolf you are quite young….how can you say that? You haven't lived yet?"
"Hearing that piece of crap…..I don't think I want to live."
"WHAAAT?" Slippy caught on
"Dude" Sarge trying to sound comforting "It was horrendous……do you feel me dawg? It was just so…..not for us."
"All I can say Toad is……keep your day job…" Wolf turned to the window.
"Rollinda?" Slippy whined
"Uh…well, I'm sorry honey but, it wasn't a really good job…..maybe you should go into a different genre of entertainment…?" Rollinda drifted off.
"Pffft….you guys are mean…..I'll make it into the showbiz. Watch and see…..Hmph….." Slippy joined Kylette who was still singing
"Hey you know what guys?" Rollinda called Sarge and Wolf's attention "What would really make a great show?"
"What?" They both turned around towards the rabbit girl
"We should have a contest right where we allow people to sing and we judge them and send them off to the Cornerian Amphitheater so they can showcase their talents and we call it Cornerian Idol! Huh? Huh? How about it?"
"That idea……" Wolf started out "Just may be the stupidest crap I ever heard….."
"Yeah….it does sound kinda stupid now that I think about it……." (--)
"Hold on a minute….." Sarge said "I think she has something here……What do you think Mr. Edwin?"
"……………."
"Uh…Mr.Edwin?" Sarge called out again
"……………."
"What the hell is wrong with him? Kylette or Wolf, go check on him will ya?"
Kylette and Wolf peeked up at where Mr. Edwin was and lightly tapped him on the shoulder
"Uh Mr. Edwin…..?" They both said
"…………….."
"Mr.Edwin…..Mr.Edwin?"
"Is he dead?" Kylette asked Wolf
Wolf took his wrist "No….he still has a pulse and he's breathing."
"……………" (O.o) Kylette realized something
"What? What is it?"
"He's ASLEEP!"
"WHAT?"
"Remember he said we have to hurry to get into the car before he falls asleep or something? He never took that medicine that makes him stay awake."
"Oh shit….." (O.d)
"What? What happened?" Sarge climbed forward to where they were at
"This guy is asleep….."
"Oh My GOD! Well wait a minute….then how come we haven't got into a wreck yet?" Sarge wondered
"Hmmmmm….?" Everyone put their thinking caps on
BEEEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEEEP! A driver swerved by the van nearly enough to side impact it.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH! NO TIME TO THINK!" Rollinda screamed
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Somebody wake him up!" Sarge screamed
Wolf got in the front seat and yelled into the zoned out driver as he shook him violently "WAAAAAAAKE UPPPP! Come on…..WAAAAAAAAAAAKE UPPPP!"
"It's not working, do something ELSE!" Kylette screamed
"Wake Up!"
SLAP! A slap went across the lifeless face
"Wake Up!"
SLAP!
"WAKE UP GODDAMMIT!"
SLAP SLAP SLAP!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Slippy croaked
"SLIPPY!"
"WHAT?"
"I speak for everyone when I say, you are not permitted to scream ever again!" Kylette yelled over here shoulder
"Hmph….fine."
Rollinda freaked out "What will we do? WHAT WILL WE DO? We're on the freeway and we don't even know where to go with a passed out driver and we are damn near the verge of our deaths….Oh, I never wanted to die so young…..boo-hoo-hoo-hoo……Oh! Please…."
SLAP! Rollinda clutched her cheek as Sarge retracted her hand
Sarge was spooked out by Rollinda (o.O)"Stop it…..you are starting to freak me out…."
"Yeah Roll, quit your bellyaching….we'll find a way out alive….." Wolf kept shaking Mr. Edwin
"Quit my 'Bellyaching'? QUIT MY 'BELLYACHING'? Are you CRAZY? We are on the edge of DEATH and here you are talking about 'we'll make it'? GET REAL WOLF!"
"Roll please be quiet…..I am TRYING to save our lives here…" Wolf was trying to act calm WAKE UP YOU OLD OAF! WAAAAAAAAAKE UPPPP! I Don't want to die……Ooohh-Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo……I am too handsome to die……
Then a heated argument ensured between Wolf and Rollinda as Sarge closed her eyes in prayer and Slippy was measuring a hand-made choker out of a shoestring. Kylette however was……..traumatized.
"Abba jabba…..ooooohhh….habba gumby….ahhhhh…." Kylette's eyes were rolled upwards and she basically lost it inside her trance (.)
"Oh goodness…..I'm sorry I dozed off there….." Mr. Edwin fixed his seat so he could feel more comfortable
"…………….." (O.o) Everyone froze at what they were doing
"Oh look kids here's our exit……talk about being lucky huh kids?" Mr. Edwin pulled off into the exit ramp safely
"………………" (O.o)
Within five minutes, Mr. Edwin went down a pathway drove across several traffic lights and into a dirt pathway…..
"Oh my….these young drivers…..they don't know how to drive" The raccoon noticed Van number two in the grass "….thank goodness you have a swell driver like me. Right kids?"
"…………….." (O.o)
"Oh ho ho…..you don't have to be so humble…..lalalalalalalala…." Mr. Edwin was in his singsong attitude as he slowly pulled up towards the driveway. "Well here we are….it has been a pleasure to drive you kids….Good luck on that contest okay kids?" The raccoon stopped the van and put the parking brake on.
"………………"
Sarge decided to be the first to talk, "Well, that was fun…."
"Yeah…" Everyone else agree.
The door opened for the passengers as they got out.
"Bye Mr. Edwin….." Everyone said and went to meet up with Panther, Krystal, Ava, Sol and A'Lou.
"Goodbye, kids! Have fun!" The raccoon waved at his group. Those kids are so nice……I….better…get…. "Zzzzzzzzz……"
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK! Mr. Edwin fell on the steering wheel asleep.
"Hey guys……" A'Lou waved her hand "What wrong with you people? You guys act like you've seen a ghost or somethin'……"
"………….." (O.o) Everyone of Van#3 looked at A'Lou
"Yeah, s-something like that…." Sarge broke the ice "You guys had a good drive towards here?"
"Hell no….in fact…" A'Lou was interrupted by a sound
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Screams could be heard from the last van approaching the house at no less than 96 mph.
"What the hell?" (O.o) Everyone looked at the flying (Literally) fan zooming down the dirt path
Van#1 was the last to arrive with some more Arabic music blasting out of the sound system.
SCREEECH! The van halted violently as the Gecko jumped out of the van
"Greate….I theenk I lost dem…. Okay everyone geet out of the van….." The driver opened the passenger doors "Quickleey, Quickleey now……"
"LAND!" Everyone from Van#1 screamed as they plummeted the ground ()
"Yes yes….it was a pleasure doing business weeth you all….Very very goot business…..Farewell now…." The Van's engine started as the Gecko drove off of the premises in a cloud of dust.
"I won't even ask….." A'Lou looked at the traumatized people
"Hey look another van is coming….." Ava pointed out.
The van approached the mass and stopped a few meters away from the house.
"Mirage!" Everyone spoke
Mirage waved out from the window "Hey everyone…..I got all of your luggage right here…."
"This is the place that we're gonna stay huh?" Sarge looked at the Mansion
"Yup!" Mirage gave a thumbs-up to Sarge
"Somehow….this place doesn't look so pleasant from the picture that turtle guy showed us….." A'Lou looked at the dark and spooky mansion.
Wolf sighed and said to his little sister, "Well…we just have to wait and see…."
As everyone went towards Mirage's van…..these group of people did not expect what lies in the mansion that awaits them……
End of First Chapter
Sol-Ratcht's Commentary
Whew…..what a chapter…Well….I am so tired so…please review. Thanks to those of you who have reviewed so far. Kudos! You all made my day and I had so much fun writing this…..Stay tuned for Day one (My second chapter)! Coming at you a within two weeks (I hope) Sol-Ratcht OUT!