Rotbart's Mistake
A couple weeks after the day that would be branded in everybody's memories as "swan day," Rotbart decided to go out for a swim in a nearby lake. He never liked swimming at the main EAH pool; there were always too many silly princesses parading around in bikinis and too many idiotic heroes showing-off for them for his taste. He much preferred the quiet and solitude of the forest lakes, and had visited nearly every single one of them at one time or another.
Today, however, Rotbart chose to visit a completely new lake. One that was rumored to be completely off-limits to students and members of the Bookend community.
Rules are for good guys. Rotbart thought as he brazenly ignored the "No Swimming" sign that was posted on a nearby tree. And he proceeded to strip naked, just as he had always done at his father's lake as a boy.
As he floated and leisurely tread water, Rotbart thought of all sorts of things: his dad, and how he used to swim with him. His mom, and how she was doing in mirror prison right now. Raven, and the interest that she had been showing in that Charming guy lately. Not Daring, of course; the one that looked more like a hipster. Rotbart supposed he was alright. The younger Charming reminded him a lot of his step-dad: boring, but nice. Which was probably why Raven liked him so much.
He also thought about Duchess, mainly out of habit. After all, he had secretly longed for her for over three years. And after leaving his original story and confessing his feelings to her, Rotbart had done his best to move on with his new direction in life. But old habits die hard.
Nonetheless, he found that he was less enamored with Duchess each passing day. Especially after the events of "swan day." He knew that she was bitter about her story, but he never thought that she'd try and force anyone else to adhere to it. Her attitude had certainly diminished her appeal for him.
She really isn't much better than Apple. He thought to himself. Duchess was just another bratty, selfish, high school mean girl. It was embarrassing to think that he had spent so much time mooning over her.
And then Rotbart's thoughts drifted to Apple. He wished that Raven hadn't blackmailed him; he kind of missed tormenting that uptight, little snob. Today would have been the perfect day to scrape muck off the lake floor and then leave it in her shoes. Or send her a bouquet that contained some of the Poison Ivy that grew by the shore. Or collect some swamp slime to decorate her desk with.
Suddenly, an unpleasant odor wafted through the air. Blech! Or I could've bottled this stench and replaced her perfume with it. Robart thought.
But then Rotbart stopped to sniff again. That nasty scent was familiar. What was it? Was it something he had smelled in the forest before? Was it something he had been exposed to in class? Was it something from his childhood? Rotbart just couldn't put his finger on it. But he knew he had smelled that smell before...
And when something bit his ankle, it all came back to him: Bog Snappers! Nasty, lake-dwelling creatures that Professor Babba Yaga had brought in for her Care and Training of Minions class...
"Don't even bother trying to add these to your evil army." Professor Yaga had said as she gingerly set down the cage. "They are utterly un-trainable and entirely snap-happy." The ugly little creature suddenly emitted a loud, horrible fart with a tiny cackle of glee. "Blech! AND they stink to high heaven!" Professor Yaga added as she ran to open a window.
Too late, Rotbart realized that this lake was FULL of Bog Snappers! They kept snapping away at his arms and legs like piranhas and farting like nothing else. Rotbart could barely swim for the shore and keep them at bay.
"Scram! Shoo! Get outta here! OH NO YOU DON'T!" He yelled as he blasted them with dark blue magic. But they still kept coming after him. One even managed to clamp onto his left arm for a while and another one got a second chomp on his right ankle. Rotbart gritted his teeth through the pain and swam on.
At last, he managed to get the shore and gave the school of Bog Snappers a parting shot that sent them squealing to the deepest part of the lake. Exhausted, Rotbart collapsed on the beach and examined his wounds. Most of the bite marks weren't too bad, but there was no denying that the Snappers had done a lot of damage on his left arm and right ankle. Normally, Rotbart would fly to school with the help of his magic cloak, but that was currently at the dry cleaners for its yearly cleaning. And given the damage on his arm, Rotbart didn't think he could fly back as an owl. He'd just have to drag himself to the nurse's office as quickly as possible.
He groaned and reached for his clothes. But they were gone! He heard giggling in the distance and saw a couple of naughty gnomes making off with his shirt.
"HEY! BRING THAT BACK!" He roared as he tried to blast the gnomes with magic. But they were too fast for him, and quickly disappeared into the forest.
Rotbart collapsed on the shore again from sheer rage and frustration. Now he fully understood why this lake was off-limits to the public.
Great. Just fucking great. He thought. I'm wounded and naked in the middle of the woods. Can this day get any worse?
"Yoo-hoo! Is everything alright?!" Someone called.
Rotbart's entire body tensed. He knew that sugary-sweet voice. It was the voice of the very last person he wanted to see:
Apple White.