Ambiguity
Chapter 15: The 'Good Girl'
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Author: Jun-I
Pairing: Kanbei x female Kyuzo
Warnings: See Chapter 1
Disclaimers: See Chapter 1
Ayamaro was still staying in the House of the Fireflies. He did not feel quite at home among his former foes, so he kept close to his niece nearly all the time. This did not suit Kyuuzou's plans at all. With her nosy uncle around, there was no chance for her to venture alone into town and do what she came to Kougakyo to do.
Kyuuzou hoped to leave the House of the Fireflies, finish the Kanna assignment and return to Kougakyo to find a physician before the changes in her body would be visible to all. The proud warrior did not want anyone to see her shame, least of all Shimada Kanbei.
The samurai planned to intercept the flying Capital before it reached Kanna. But they could not leave Kougakyo yet. Heihachi was yet to finish the upgrades on Shichiroji's boat so that it could withstand the coming journey. Thus Kyuuzou passed each day in the House of the Fireflies with a certain degree of anxiety, waiting for Kanbei to give the order to move out. Whenever the warrior woman put her hands on her belly, she could feel the heartbeat of that odd thing within growing stronger by the day. The strange rhythm filled the usually cool-headed samurai with a sense of helpless dread. Here was a foe who could not be slain with her sword.
Finally, the commander announced that they were ready to leave. Kyuuzou was relieved beyond measure. Ayamaro bade a not-quite-farewell to his niece, saying, "So, Kyuuzou, off to fight for the fate of the world again?"
The woman warrior gave her uncle a steely not-quite-glare. The astute lord knew what she meant by that look – he was not to breathe a word of this adventure to her parents.
On the long journey through the desert, Kanbei's band came upon evidence of the Capital's destructive power. The sad ruins of two giant Nobuseri lay in pieces on the desert sand. Heihachi said the damage had been done by the Capital's main cannon.
Yet it was at this scene of death that Kanbei decided that they should stop for the day. Heihachi was ordered to get the Nobuseri's pilotable flying sword into working order. They would use this landcutter to speed on to the Capital the next day. It would be faster than the cruiser loaned to them by the Shikimori people.
As night fell, Heihachi continued working. Kanbei and Shichiroji sat by in contemplation. "I'd like to see what strategy they come up with given our limited options," Kyuuzou thought. "Five samurai against an giant fortress." But yet the samurai woman knew they had to stop the behemoth, one way or another. Sitting by and letting the Capital crush Kanna was not an option.
Kyuuzou was sitting some distance from the group, her back to the others. The scarlet samurai gazed silently at the starlit desert sky. Her sharp ears picked up the gentle patter of Kirara's footsteps as the water witch walked to the spot where Kanbei and Shichiroji were seated.
"Got any strategies?" Shichiroji was asking the commander.
"No," replied Kanbei firmly.
An audible gasp rose from all present. The cold samurai alone showed no reaction. Kyuuzou understood the veiled meaning in Kanbei's "No!" She had noticed how Kirara watched Kanbei while they were in the land cruiser. And she had seen a dark look cross the man's face when he caught the young woman's adoring gaze.
"No?" Shichiroji inquired.
"This may mean death," The older man replied. So Kanbei was rejecting the maiden's love because he did not think he would live for long? But what if he knew he would live? The question crossed Kyuuzou's mind, but she told herself the answer did not concern her.
Kyuuzou heard the priestess gently place a cup of hot tea on the rock in front of Kanbei. She heard the commander say to the girl, "It is late. Go take a rest."
His tone was caring. The girl had replied, "Do not worry. I am at your service"
The female warrior did not need to be watching to know the subservient and gentle demeanor the priestess used with the older samurai. It grated on her. Kyuuzou could never bring herself to serve a man in such a way. She had seen many women give up dignity for 'love', only to find out that 'love' was fleeting. But Kyuuzou had never felt inclined to make such a choice. The crimson samurai knew she was meant for better, greater things. The glory of the battle, the power to end lives.
"She's a good girl." Kyuuzou heard Shichiroji say.
Heihachi picked up where he left off, "It's no wonder that Ukyo wanted her."
Kyuuzou closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. Everyone thought Kanbei should be with the 'good girl'. The crimson samurai had never been a 'good girl' all her life. She wondered if the samurai who praised Kirara would see Kyuuzou as a hideous, self-
mutilated, self-hating freak, not a man and yet not quite a woman – if they knew the truth about her? But the proud warrior had no regrets. She would not change who she was for all the world. Still, the fair-headed woman could not help feeling an odd twinge of sadness at not being able to have something she herself would refuse to take, even if it was offered to her.
Why did Kanbei want her when he could have the beautiful Kirara? Kyuuzou wondered. To collect the rare experience of bedding an oddity? The proud samurai felt shame and anger burn like acid through her soul. But she blamed herself more than she blamed the man. After all, she had lain with him willingly.
Soon it will all end, one way or another, the crimson warrior told herself. Either they will die in the upcoming battle, or they will duel and one will kill the other. Yet since the day that thing came into being, Kyuuzou had started to feel a slight reluctance when she thought of taking Kanbei's life. But the warrior's pride would not allow her to change her decision.
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Kanbei had been irritated at the turn the conversation was taking. The dark warrior glanced at the red figure sitting some distance away. The silent samurai may say little, but she always heard much. Shimada firmly steered the topic towards more urgent matters. Still, for a little longer, Kanbei wondered why everyone was encouraging him to accept Kirara's romantic overtures. The girl was young enough to be his daughter! The middle-aged samurai had come to care very much for the priestess, but the affection he held for her would best be described as fatherly love. The Mikumari sisters were the closest things he would ever have to his own children, Kanbei thought.