Finding The Right Rock

"A master plan?" Apple asked dubiously. A "malicious miracle" sounded like a more apt description to her. The kind of scheme Rotbart was proposing made sense in terms of not getting caught, but in practice, it seemed impossible; how could she and Rotbart destroy Daring's looks, his affair with Lizzie, and both of their reputations? All at the same time? And make the whole thing look like a big accident and not a set-up? "Won't that be awful…complicated?" She asked.

"It should be awful." He said sinisterly. "But not complicated."

Apple's jaw dropped. "You're kidding. You've got to be kidding!" She exclaimed. And she wondered if Rotbart fell actually into the category of "insane villain." She had thought that the young sorcerer was cunning and calculating, up until this point. But no, now it was obvious that he had a wide crazy streak. "How can that NOT be complicated?!"

"Easily." The would-be villain said calmly.

"EASILY?!"

"Mmm-hmm. As easy as shoving a rock down a hill to crush someone." He continued airily. "It's just a question of finding the right rock."

Apple grimaced at Rotbart's imagery. "UUUuuuhhgh…" She groaned. This only encouraged Rotbart to elaborate:

"Yep. Just the right kind of rock to create one big, bloody, bone-crunching mess at the bottom…"

"STAAW-AWWWP!" Apple tried to sound imperious, but what came out sounded more like an imploring whine.

"Too much for our delicate stomachs, princess?" Rotbart remarked innocently.

"That's disgusting! And…and…it's too hard!"

"Of course it's hard, it's a rock." He quipped.

"No, I mean this whole 'master plan' thingy; it's just too difficult!" Apple shouted in frustration.

"That's some work ethic you got, princess." Rotbart cynically commented.

"This has nothing to do with my work ethic!" She yelled.

"Says her queenly cushiness."

"STOP IT! I'll have you know my work ethic is impeccable…"

"Right…" Rotbart sarcastically drawled.

"…But I know when something WON'T WORK!" She ranted. "How can I work at something that WON'T WORK?!" Apple was secretly disappointed at having to give up getting revenge on Daring and Lizzie, but she had to face facts: the whole thing was nuts. And she continued to tell Rotbart so:

"I mean jeez, what single thing could possibly happen to pull all that off? What? WHAT?! Forget this! I should just tell the whole school that Lizzie sucked Daring's dick and get it over with!"

"That's exactly what you should do!" Rotbart said excitedly.