disclaimer: don't own it never will... aah crap now i'm all depressed again

YAY!!! REALLY sorry for the uber long wait! Can u guys ever find it in u to forgive me?

Chapter 10... i think hehe - Inner Conflict

last time

As they turned into the driveway, Kagome threw open the car door and jumped out of the car. She hadn't even waited for Inuyasha to stop. Inuyasha stopped the car where it was and got out.

"Kagome," he called.

Kagome ignored him and kept running. Inuyasha ran after her. Kagome ran into the house. Luckily the door was unlocked. She stopped in the front hall way and looked around at her dark surroundings. It was dark and there was no moonlight to provide light. But, Kagome knew the house like the back of her hand. She managed to run up the left staircase without tripping over a stair and falling down the stairs. At the top of the stairs she looked left then right before running to Ki's room and throwing open the door. Inuyasha followed behind her, a bit confused. He still didn't know exactly what was going on.

this time

... Kagome dropped to her knees and stared at the bed before her which was illuminated by a night light on the bedside table.

"Kioko?" she breathed, barely above a whisper.

Inuyasha stood behind her, his face cleary showing his confusion as he attempted to figure out what was going on. He had watched with a worried expression as Kagome fell to her knees. He ran up to her, ready to kneel beside her and comfort her but he heard Kagome's soft voice utter that name again: Kioko. He followed her gaze and now found himself staring in confusion at the sight before him.

A small form slept peacefully. He could hear her soft, even breaths as she breathed. The soft light illuminated her childish, sleeping face. Thick, long, dark hair fell around her face, shielding some of her features from his sight. But from what he could see, Inuyasha couldn't help but notice how much the young girl looked like Kagome when she had been that age.

Inuyasha glanced down at Kagome... only, she wasn't there. He looked around frantically and sighed in relief when he realized that she had only moved to the bedside. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he watched Kagome gently smooth the young girls hair and move it from her face. He leaned against the doorframe watching contentedly. Suddenly there was a tug at his heart and his smile turned upside down to become a frown. His heart clenched as the realization came to him: this child wasn't his own... Kagome wasn't his mate... this wasn't his family. A great sorrow fell over him and for a moment he was confused. Why was he so upset? He and Kagome hadn't even talked in 3 years. They had grown completely apart. He didn't even really know why. She and her family just left one day. Besides he had Kikyo... why was he thinking these things? 'Do I still have Kikyou after what happened tonight though?' he thought. He couldn't help but know deep down in his heart that Kikyou wasn't the one he wanted.

-

While Inuyasha was preoccupied, Kagome crawled away from his side, not able to find the energy it took to stand up. She crawled across the floor towards the bed. Reaching the bed after what seemed like an eternity to Kagome, she sat up on her knees and reached across it to smooth the hair from her daughters face. She held her breath and touched the young girl's cheek gently, as if afraid she was just an illusion and would fade away if she touched her or even breathed on her. She let out a long sigh of relief. That's when she felt the wetness of tears spilling from her chocolate brown orbs. She touched her own cheek gently wiping away a few of the tears. She sniffled quietly and reached forward again to brush a few stray strands of hair from the sleeping child's face.

Ki shifted slightly in her sleep and her little hand pulled the blankets up further over head. Kagome smiled and tugged the blanket down slightly so that the girl wouldn't smother herself. Ki growled in protest in her sleep and tugged the blanket back up. Kagome shook her head with a small laugh. She tugged the blanket down just slightly, just enough so that her daughter wouldn't smother herself and enough to keep Ki happy. When Ki made no protest, Kagome leaned down and kissed her forehead. Then, using the edge of the bed as a support, she willed herself to stand up.

It was then that she caught a glint of silver. She looked toward Inuyasha and froze. It was the first time she had noticed him standing there. 'How long has he been there for?' she thought. She glanced back at Ki and then back to him. 'He knows... He knows about Ki now,' she panicked. 'But he doesn't know everything... he doesn't know that she's his.' Kagome sighed ever slightly at that thought. At least she might have some time to figure out how to tell him. She had thought many times about telling Inuyasha that he had a daughter. She had tried calling him just after she found out that she was pregnant with his child. That hadn't turned out the way she had planned. When he had answered she had yelped in surprise at his voice and hung up on him. It was the same each time she tried to call. How could she tell him, the man who had been her best friend for her entire life, that she was carrying his child? Hell, he didn't even know that they had slept together! He wouldn't have believed her if she had told him the truth. She figured that he got a bit suspicious when she always came up on his caller ID, but hung up at the sound of his voice, because he called back several times. And just like she had when it had been her calling him... she hung up. Kagome thought for a moment. 'What difference does it make now? He still doesn't know that we did... THAT together! He would never believe me if I told him,' she thought. 'But what am I supposed to tell him? Do I lie? I hate lying... I've done it before though. And I'll have to do it again, until I figure out how to explain it to him without him getting angry.' She sighed. 'What am I thinking? He'll never accept us. He's with Kikyou now... He's always been with Kikyou. They're probably even engaged or something by now.' By now, she was holding back tears.

She was suddenly ripped from her thoughts when she felt a pair of strong arms snake around her waist gently and pull her back into a hard chest. She squeaked, but knowing that it was just Inuyasha she melted into his embrace. She couldn't help it, her body did of it's own accord.

-

Inuyasha's thoughts had been interupted when he heard a soft, familiar laugh. He had never forgotten that sound. He had heard it his entire life and it had never changed. Sure it had changed physically, but the reaction it caused within him never did. He smiled. 'Kami, I've missed that laugh so much.' He watched, holding back laughter, as Kagome and the young girl tugged the blankets back and forth. He watched as Kagome leaned over and kissed the girl's forehead gently. There was another tug at his heart. He stared at the young girl for a long while.

There was something about her scent that appealed to him. It was just like Kagome's, but there was something else there; something familiar.

He only glanced up from the girl when he saw Kagome stand up shakily. 'She's still shook up about what Kikyou said to her,' he observed. He sighed. 'Kikyou shouldn't have said what she did. I'm never going to be able to forgive her for upsetting Kagome like that.' But then a thought came to him: How did Kikyou know about this Ki girl?

He looked up, feeling someone's gaze on him. He focused on Kagome again and noticed that her brow was furrowed and she was deep in thought about something. She was looking down at the little girl, but her eyes were glazed over. Inuyasha chuckled remembering that look all too well. As kids, Kagome had had a tendency to zone off in her own little world and she was practically oblivious to her surroundings. It had always amused him.

The scent of tears snapped Inuyasha out of his little flashbacks so fast that he was sure he felt a bit of whiplash. He studied the young woman before him intently. He hadn't really had time to get a good look at his old high school friend. She had grown about an inch or two and she had definitely grown into her curves. Her hair was slightly longer now. Her eyes were sad as she gazed at the sleeping child. Her fingers clutched the blankets as she played with them nervously. Inuyasha frowned. He hated it when she was sad or upset. He already missed her smile and it had only been a few minutes since he had last seen it.

His body began to move on it's own and he soon found himself mere inches behind Kagome. He watched as his arms snaked around Kagome's small waist and pulled her close to him. He closed his eyes and relished the feel of Kagome in his arms again. He heard Kagome squeak in surprise but immediately relaxed against his body. He was slightly surprised at how well Kagome's body fit with his own. His chin rested on her shoulder lightly.

They stayed like that for a while comfortably. Soon though, Kagome realized just how tired she was and yawned. Inuyasha chuckled.

"Tired?" he asked. He was surprised at the huskiness in his own voice.

Kagome seemed to miss it however, either that or she ignored it, and turned around in his arms, burying her head his shirt. She nodded her head against his chest and mumbled something that he couldn't quite make out. Inuyasha smiled and lifted Kagome into his arms bridal style. He turned to leave, to take Kagome to her room, but Kagome whimpered and shook her head.

"No," she whimpered. She pointed at the bed where the Ki slept. "With Ki."

Inuyasha nodded and Kagome smiled up at him. She relaxed completely in his arms and closed her eyes as she began to fall asleep. Inuyasha heard her breathing even out as he placed her on the bed gently. He took one of the extra blankets at the foot of the bed and draped it over Kagome, who snuggled into the warmth before rolling onto her side to put a protective arm around her daughter. Inuyasha smiled for the hundredth time that night as he watched 'Ki' bury herself into her mother's warm body.

Inuyasha could have stared at the peaceful scene forever if he didn't feel his own fatigue creeping up on him. He yawned then gazed down at the sleeping girls with tired eyes. Then he looked at the door. He shook his head, deciding that he was too lazy to walk all the way to the door when he was already sitting on a bed just as comfortable as his own. Besides, Kagome's and Ki's scents were quite calming and comforting. He shrugged to himself and lay down beside Kagome. 'I'm sure she won't mind. It's not like we haven't slept together like this before,' he reasoned. With that thought he spoone himself next to Kagome, wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her back to his chest. He breathed in her scent as he fell into sleep.

None of them noticed a pair of shimmering blue eyes watching them from the door which was open a crack.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Light spilled through the window into the tidy room. It was a fairly large room, but dispite the size, one of the only pieces of furniture in it was a large Queen sized bed. Three people occupied the bed. A young girl with long flowing raven hair slept on one side of the bed. Her pretty childish face was buried into the pillow which she hugged against her. The pillow was about as big as she was and covered her entire body. She had kicked her blankets off some time in the night and now all you could see of her was her little feet, her hands and arms which hugged the pillow on top of her, and her hair which fell in all directions around her. The other two occupants looked just like they had when they had fallen asleep there the night before. The silver haired man, or demon would be more appropriate, slept spooned with the young woman with his face buried in the crook of her neck and his arms around her waist protectively.

A muffled groan could be heard from the pillow covered girl as she rolled over onto her stomach, squishing the pillow beneath her as she did. She lifted her head and silver orbs looked out from behind messy dark bangs at her surroundings. She squinted slightly from the light and blinked a few times to get used to it. It took her a few moments to remember where she was and she smiled. A movement behind her startled her and she jumped to the edge of the bed. She laughed when what she saw was her her mother, sleeping soundly. But then she noticed a bit of silver hair mixed with her mother's.

"Wow... Mommy must be getting old like Nana," she said quietly.

She lifted her nose into the air and sniffed lightly. She frowned when she smelled a new, unfamiliar scent. She had smelled it around the house a lot but she hadn't actually seen the source. Quietly and cautiously she crawled across the bed toward her mother. When she was right beside her mother she sat up on her knees and looked over her mother to see a man sleeping a little too close to her mother for her comfort. She huffed in annoyance and a small territorial growl escaped her lips.

"My Mommy," she huffed.

The man, as if on que, rolled over onto his back, still asleep. The girl smirked thinking she could have some fun with this guy. She carefully crawled over her mother, trying her best not to wake her. Then she crawled onto the strange man and plopped herself down on his chest. She smirked and reached over to plug the man's nose with her little fingers, a trick she had used on her teen uncle all the time. Of course, it worked like a charm.

-

Inuyasha had been sleeping quite peacefully, drowning himself in Kagome's scent, when suddenly he couldn't breathe. His eyes shot open and he gasped for breath. He looked up, looking for the cause, and golden orbs met silver ones. His eyes took on a look of shock while the others took on a half guilty, half mischievious one. Then the childish eyes before him took on an inquisitive look.

"Who are you?" the little person on top of him inquired suspiciously. "And why were you sleeping so close to my mommy?"

Inuyasha could only gape at the child as he searched his thoughts for a reasonable excuse. But he had been caught off guard and couldn't think of one good enough for the young girl who was now staring him down. She was rather intimidating actually. 'And I thought she was cute?'

"Um..." was all he could think to say. "I'm one of your Mom's old friends from highschool...?"

"Oh..." the girl said, her look softening into a thoughtful one and she smiled cutely. "Are you that Inuyasha guy she's always talking about?" She studied his vacant expression for a moment. "Hmm, I'm gonna take that as a yes."

"She talks about me?" he said dumbly.

"Yea," the girl said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and he was an idiot for not knowing it. "Everyone talks about you. Mommy, Nana, Souta, Sango, Miroku, Izayoi, even Uncle Kado and he doesn't even know you." She paused for a moment, in thought. "Are you famous?"

Inuyasha smirked at that thought. "Keh, no." The girl, whom he assumed was Ki, laughed and he smiled. 'She has Kagome's laugh,' he thought. Then another thought came to him. "Wait. Miroku? Sango? My mom? They all know about you?" he asked, a bit hurt, a bit betrayed. 'Why did they all know about Kagome's daughter when I was Kagome's best friend? And I just found out last night! What are they hiding?'

"Yea!" Ki replied, again in that 'as-if-it-isn't-obvious' tone. "I've known them since I was a little baby... like Aiko!"

"Whoa, whoa. Who's Aiko?" Inuyasha asked. 'Don't tell me Kagome has another little brat!'

"Geeze, relax dog-boy. Aiko's Nana and Uncle Kado's baby," Ki replied.

Inuyasha growled slightly and his eye twitched. Just what exactly did Kagome say about him?

"Dog-boy?" he repeated through clenched teeth. "What exactly does your mother say about me?"

Ki laughed, then thought for a moment.

"Well, she says your an arrogant jerk or sometimes she calls you dog-boy or Koinu. She has a lot of other names, but I'm not allowed to repeat them. Mommy says they're bad words and that it's rude to say them, but she says them all the time," Ki explained.

She looked back at Inuyasha. His eye was twitching. She stared at him for a long moment. 'Is that normal?' Inuyasha's rough voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"Keh, what are you looking at kid?"

"HEY! My name's not 'kid'! It's Ki-o-ko!" Ki barked. "And I was just thinking, you don't look much like an arrogant jerk," she added innocently.

Inuyasha smirked. "I don't , eh?" He shot a glance at the still sleeping Kagome next to him and glared before turning back to the girl, who currently pinned him down. She had a thoughtful look on in her metallic silver eyes and she was smiling sweetly. She was the complete opposite of the glaring girl who had smothered him to wake him up.

"Nope, but I think you look more like a wimp. You don't look very scary," Ki said tapping a finger to her chin in thought as she inspected him.

"Oh really?" Inuyasha said through clenched teeth.

"Mmhmm," Ki giggled.

"I'll show you scary," Inuyasha playfully growled.

Ki squealed and jumped off of Inuyasha. In the blink of an eye she was running for the door with Inuyasha close behind her.

"Yea you better run!" Inuyasha threatened jokingly.

Ki squealed and swerved out of Inuyasha's grasp. She looked over her shoulder to see how close he was, but he had stopped and was looking at something ahead of her. She stopped too late and crashed into someone's legs. She fell backwards but before she hit the ground she was caught by a pair of strong arms and lifted into the air. She looked over and saw that it was Inuyasha that now held her. She smiled then looked toward the person she had, quite literally, run into. It was a man who looked a lot like Inuyasha. He had long silver hair – longer than Inuyasha's – and golden eyes. Ki didn't recognize him. She cocked her head to the side quizzically and looked at Inuyasha for answers.

The man stared down his nose at them and shook his head.

"Still running around like an imputent child I see," he said monotonously.

"Oi! I'm not imputent," Ki retorted. She turned to Inuyasha. "What does imputent mean?"

"Who says I was talking about you brat?" Sesshoumaru said.

Ki gave him a blank look and again looked to Inuyasha for answers. But Inuyasha was preoccupied with glaring daggers at his brother. Ki glanced between the two, confused.

"Inuyasha... who's that man?" Ki asked quietly.

"My bastard half brother," Inuyasha growled.

Ki gasped.

"Inuyasha!" she scolded. "That's one of the bad words that Mommy was talking about!"

She balled up her small fist and hit him over the head. Inuyasha yelped and rubbed the spot where she had hit him. He glared at her, forgetting about his brother for a moment. Ki giggled nervously. She looked into Inuyasha's golden eyes. He looked so serious. His eyes made her feel so guilty. She hung her head and looked up at Inuyasha with sad eyes. She hated being disciplined. She reached up and gently patted the spot she had hit.

"I'm sorry Mr. Inuyasha," Ki muttered.

Inuyasha's eyes softened and he smirked.

"S'okay kid, just don't do it again," Inuyasha replied.

"Ki-o-ko," she corrected, but nodded in understanding.

They heard a scoff and both looked up to see Sesshoumaru walking away while shaking his head. Inuyasha and Ki looked at each other and shrugged. Inuyasha carried Ki downstairs to the kitchen. The scent of breakfast cooking reached both of their noses. Ki squirmed out of Inuyasha's hold and jumped out of his arms. Once she gained her balance on the ground she made a run for the kitchen. Inuyasha smiled and followed her. 'Why does this feel so right?' A childish giggle reached his ears. He saw Ki run up to his mother and hug her legs. Izayoi laughed and lead the young girl to the island in the middle of the kitchen. Ki climbed up onto one of the stools. She glanced back at him and motioned for him to join them. Inuyasha took a spot next to Ki at the island/counter and ruffled her already messy hair. She gave him a little glare then began to eat the food that was set before her by Izayoi. Inuyasha didn't miss the knowing look that she looked at them with. He gave her a curious look but she just shook her head at him. Inuyasha frowned.

A Half Hour Later

Kagome groaned tiredly and rolled over. She was a bit disappointed when she didn't feel the warmth that had been there when she had fallen asleep. She whimpered and pulled the covers over her head. She attempted to fall back asleep but failed miserably. She groaned after a few minutes of trying and threw the blankets off of her in defeat.

"I give up," she muttered to herself.

She looked around and was a bit confused to find herself in her daughter's room... in Inuyasha's house. The events of the night before sank in suddenly and she glanced around the room frantically, looking for Ki. There was no sign of her young daughter anywhere. She began to panic as all of the worst possibilities ran through her head.

"Ki," she called, hoping that Ki was just hiding on her.

There was no response. Kagome took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself. 'Okay, calm down Kagome. I'm sure everything is fine. I bet she's downstairs eating breakfast or outside in the garden with Izayoi. There's nothing to worry about, Kaggie,' she reasoned. Her stomach suddenly grumbled and she couldn't help but let out a little giggle. She sighed, feeling a bit better. 'First stop, kitchen... to search for Ki of course.'

Kagome arrived in the kitchen a few minutes later. Izayoi looked up from washing the dishes and smiled. Sesshoumaru, who sat at the island table, looked up momentarily from some paper work that he was working on while eating breakfast. Kagome smiled at him before walking over to Izayoi.

"Izayoi, have you seen Ki?" Kagome inquired.

"Don't worry about Ki, Kagome. She's with Inuyasha in the garden. The last time I checked the only danger for her was dying of hysterical laughter. You know, they get along quite well together, Kagome. You should have heard them this morning. You could hear them arguing from half way down the hall. Then they came down to breakfast together. Oh Kagome, it was so cute! It was like they were actually father and daughter," Izayoi exclaimed, putting down the pan she was cleaning and clasping her hands together. Kagome frowned slightly. Izayoi saw this and gave her a hug. "Maybe you should tell him Kagome. You didn't think that you could keep them apart forever did you?"

Kagome pulled away from Izayoi, shaking her head. Her bangs covered her teary eyes.

"I can't Izayoi," she said just above a whisper. "He'll push us away. He'll deny it. He doesn't know."

Izayoi placed a hand on Kagome's shoulder and lifted her chin with the other so that she could see her face. Kagome looked up at her hesitantly with sad, glassy eyes.

"You won't know if you never try."

"He has a right to know, Kagome," Sesshoumaru added.

Kagome watched the usually stoical man as he brought his dishes to the sink then grabbed his briefcase and left without another word. She sighed. 'Maybe they're right, but... it's not like Inuyasha has ever the same feelings that I have. He didn't know what he was doing that night. It was all instinct for him. He was demon. But maybe they both deserve to be in each others lives. Even if I'm not playing the part that I wish I was.' But then she thought that of what would happen if Inuyasha were to marry Kikyou sometime in the future. Kagome growled audibly, causing Izayoi to give her a quizzical look. Kagome didn't notice though. 'That bitch isn't getting anywhere near my baby! And she sure as hell isn't going to be my baby's step mother!' Kagome shook her head vigorously and looked Izayoi straight in the eyes.

"No," she said simply and firmly. "I refuse to tell him."

"Refuse to tell who what?" a masculine voice asked from behind Kagome.

Kagome shrieked in surprise and jumped about two feet into the air before landing on her but. Ki approached her cautiously, sensing that her mother wasn't in the greatest mood.

"Are you okay Mommy?"

"I'm fine," Kagome ground out through gritted teeth.

Kagome caught a look from Izayoi and she sighed. She looked up at Inuyasha who looked incredibly lost and was looking back and forth between his mother and his old friend. She sighed in defeat again and stood up. Kagome opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Izayoi, sensing what she wanted to say, stepped in to help.

"Inuyasha, would you and Kagome mind running some errands for me? I'm inviting some people over for dinner and I need groceries."

"Why can't you do it?" he asked.

Kagome rolled his eyes at the familiar rudeness.

"Because I have to stay here and prepare for dinner tonight. Please honey."

"Keh, fine," Inuyasha agreed. He turned to Ki. "Coming koinu?"

Ki nodded her head and ran into his open arms. He swung her around before setting her back on the ground and taking her hand in his. Kagome watched with wide shocked eyes. Her eyes softened and she smiled.

"Hmm, last time I remembered 'koinu' was your nickname," she teased, finally finding the courage to talk to him and feeling much more at ease.

"Yea well, it suits her better than it ever suited me," he replied. "Are you coming?"

Kagome smacked his arm. "Geeze, impatient much? I still have to get dressed dog-boy. Gimme a few minutes."

Inuyasha growled at the pet name and shot a glare at a giggling Ki. Ki did her best to hold back her laughter while trying to keep a straight face as well. Kagome laughed as she left the kitchen and ran up the stairs to her bedroom. She knew that there were still clothes from her highschool days in the spare room she always stayed in because Izayoi told her that she hadn't moved a thing since Kagome left. She quickly changed, brushed her teeth, and brushed her hair. With a final look in the mirror she nodded in approval. She was wearing a pair of hip hugging jeans, a light blue baby tee, and a pair of simple white sneakers. Other than the fact that her t-shirt was slightly tighter in the chest area, her clothes fit perfectly. She grabbed the purse that she had had the night before off the bed walked downstairs to meet Inuyasha and Ki.

She reached the bottom of the stairs and was immediately greeted with, "Oi, are you ready wench?". Kagome sighed, rolled her eyes, and nodded.

Inuyasha's jaw dropped when he saw Kagome walking toward him. Sure what she was wearing was quite simple but he couldn't help but notice the way her jeans hugged her perfected hips; or the way her t-shirt ended just below her belly button, teasing him with a glimpse of her flat, toned stomach. He blushed slightly when he smelled and felt his own arousal. He took a deep breath to gian his senses.

Ki watched the older demon as he stared at her mother. She poked him in the leg and he looked down at her.

"You can stop drooling over Mommy now," she told him.

At that moment Kagome arrived beside them. She gave Inuyasha a curious look and he just shook his head.

Forty-Five Minutes Later, At the Mall

Kagome pushed the cart through the grocery store, Inuyasha walking along beside her. Ki ran up ahead, grabbing everything that was on the list that Izayoi had given them. At the moment Kagome and Inuyasha were practically alone. Ki was somewhere in the store looking for lemons. It was silent between the two until Inuyasha spoke up.

"Kagome, can I ask you something?"

Kagome giggled.

"You just did. But shoot," she replied.

Inuyasha stopped where he was and looked at Kagome with a serious face. Kagome could see the hurt in his golden orbs and her own eyes filled with concern.

"Inuyasha?"

"How come you didn't tell me?"

A/N – WOOT! UBER LONG CHAPPIE! Lol and a somewhat sorta cliffy. Yay. Lol sooo anyway review and i'll be happy with it. It's really long and yea. Ummm yeaa that's it. REVIEW! OH AND SORRY AGAIN hopefully this chapter will make up for it slightly.

Lily