CHAPTER 1

The sun burned high above the numerous apartment buildings and added to the mild humidity typical of a hot New York afternoon. Because business had been slow lately, Janine Melnitz had gotten permission to take the afternoon off. She had decided she would go check out the trendy Soho District, with its numerous shops and street vendors selling funky merchandise.

"Maybe I'll find myself a new chic pair of boots, or something," the Ghostbusters' secretary thought. "And Louis' birthday is tomorrow. He loves puzzles and things like that."

She was referring to accountant Louis Tully, whom she had been dating ever since they babysat Oscar at Peter Venkman's apartment. At first the guys nearly laughed her out of the firehouse, but they eventually warmed up to the idea. And the two saw each other most everyday at work. Louis worked part time for the Ghostbusters.

"Excuse me lady," chirped an uncommon street vendor. "We just got this beautiful item in yesterday."

The vendor was dressed quite uniquely for a street merchant. He wore an image that looked quite like something out of 1001 Arabian Nights with a bright green turban and strange pale blue eyes. A large blue silk curtain blocked the inventory on three and one-third sides leaving the observer only a small window through which to peek.

Janine Melnitz gave her attention to the unusual salesman and the strange object he held. It was a beautiful brass and dark-hazelwood cornucopia of curves and angles that seemed to feature a different strange pattern on each of the six sides of the cube. The strangest feature of the box was the uppermost face--it was a lace pattern that encircled what looked like a large button with four tiny arrows pointing inward.

"What's your pleasure?" the man quipped. "Legend has it that this box can make it all possible. It's known as the Lament Configuration, but it will bring you nothing but ecstasy."

"Looks like a fancy Rubik's Cube to me," retorted Janine in her thick Brooklyn accent. Still Louis really liked things like this. "Would it make a decent puzzle for a brainiac?"

"Naturally! That is its primary function. Anyone who touches this toy will spend hours trying to figure it out," continued the merchant. "It's on sale today for only ten dollars!"

Janine had very little disposable income right now, she wasn't going home without a new pair of boots, and her stomach was beginning to growl.

"I'll take it," she said, after window-shopping the rest of the man's inventory and being unimpressed. "That box will make a great birthday gift for my friend."

"Excellent!" said the vendor. "By the way, let me tell you a secret. If your friend solves the Lament Configuration he'll be in a very exclusive category and he'll have a special surprise coming to him."

The slightly sinister tone of those words rang in her head the rest of the afternoon.

The following evening would fulfill the strange merchant's haunting words. Janine Melnitz had just finished putting the final touches on the romantic candlelight dinner she had planned for the two of them. She knew it would still be a half-hour before Louis arrived for dinner, but she could hardly wait. Earlier in the day the guys had thrown a birthday party for him at the firehouse, complete with streamers and balloons and a peanut butter chocolate ice cream cake. She figured this would be the perfect end to his perfect birthday.

Oh shoot; I forgot to wrap his gift! Well the rest of this can wait.
Janine hurried into her bedroom and retrieved the wrapping paper and the Lament Configuration. She began to wrap the little puzzle box hurriedly, but found herself stopping from time to time just to stare at it. She felt strangely drawn to it and had a strong desire to play with it herself. A doorbell chime snapped her out of her fascination.

"I ran out of time!"

Janine shoved the box and the wrapping paper behind her couch and opened the door. She welcomed Louis in with a tender kiss and they sat down to a candlelight dinner of fettuccine Alfredo. After dinner she ran to the couch and grabbed the box.

"Happy Birthday, Louis! I found it in the Soho District. The vendor said you would enjoy this for hours on end. It's a puzzle box that only a few have solved," said Janine.

"Wow! That's neat! How does it work?" exclaimed Louis.

"I'm not quite sure. Why don't you try it out? Here, let me help you. We can solve it together," replied Janine.

They began to work on the strange toy and became quite surprised when the pieces began to shift. Eventually the sides began moving on their own, shifting and turning until the cube changed into an entirely new shape. Then a massive earthquake hit and a wall began to shift open. However, it led to a strange dark stone corridor instead of into her bedroom where it should have led.

"I don't remember any secret passages in this building," Louis and Janine exclaimed together.

Then they emerged. The first had clothes sewn into its flesh and it had hooks that transfixed the flaps of its eyes and were wed, by an intricate system of chains passed through flesh and bone alike, to similar hooks through the lower lip. Its ears were missing, making its head look something like a raw turkey. The second had features so heavily distorted that its eyes were invisible and its words corrupted by the disfigurement of its mouth. Its teeth chattered endlessly. The third was gray yet gleaming, her lips bloody, her legs parted so that the elaborate mutilation of her pubis was displayed. The fourth had a voice that was light and breathy. Every inch of his head had been tattooed with an intricate grid, and at every intersection of horizontal and vertical axes a jeweled pin driven through to the bone. His tongue was similarly patterned. Then he spoke: "Who summoned us here and unleashed hell upon earth again?"

Janine and Louis simultaneously screamed and bolted for the front door, hand in hand. Before Janine was able to make it out the door a demonic creature grabbed her away from him.

"Janine!" screamed Louis in a panic. As she was torn from Louis' grip and brought face to face with the fourth being, Janine found herself screaming.

"Silence, wench. We are the Cenobites. It was you and that weakling who released us. For that we should show you both the pleasures of Hell. But we have something better in store. Twice before we have been released and banished. It will not happen again," snarled the Fourth.

"W-who are you?" whimpered Janine.

"I am Pinhead, and this world will soon go to Hell." He turned to the second. "Take her back and let her live long enough to watch everything she knows turn to chaos. Then give her the rich sufferings we have in store for her. I'll find the other one."

Her screams echoed off the walls as the horrible Cenobite dragged her down the dark damp corridor.

Louis ran as fast as he could and arrived at Ray's Occult bookshop out of breath. Dr. Ray Stantz was in the process of shelving new arrivals, and was a little surprised to see his accountant in such a manner.

"Ray... these strange... creatures took Ja--nine... and... after me..." gasped a shaken Louis Tully.

"Louis, pull it together," said Ray. "Slowly tell me what happened."

Louis recalled to Dr. Stantz the horrible events as best he could and was just about to finish when the south wall of the bookshop blew out. The severed head and arms of some poor New Yorker landed at Louis' feet. The remaining three Cenobites had tracked the accountant.

"Well don't just stand there, Louis," exclaimed Ray. "Let's make like trees and leave!"

But the Cenobites had blocked the exits, leaving the only way out past them. Ray pulled out the PKE meter he kept underneath the front counter and powered it up before he motioned to Louis.

"Come on. I have a plan," whispered Ray. "We'll confuse them in the maze of books, round them up in front of a bookshelf, and then let 'em have it."

Ray and Louis climbed into plain sight and began taunting them.
"Hey Chompers, over here. You'll never catch me you one-man freak show!" teased Ray.

"Hey Pinhead, uh...your taxes are probably late!" tried Louis.

Nevertheless it worked and the Cenobites began chasing the Ghostbuster and the accountant around the maze of bookshelves. Finally they ran the disgusting demons in front of the same bookshelf and tipped it over on them.

"You foolish mortals really don't think you'll get away forever do you?!" shouted Pinhead from underneath the fallen shelf.

But by then, Louis and Ray were on their way out through the fallen south wall. They got in his car and sped off for the firehouse.

"My bookstore..." groaned Ray, as the car peeled out.