Goodnight Apple White

Rotbart turned to Kelly once Apple had left. "The back way?" He asked. Kelly nodded and headed for the back wall of the men's room. He tapped on three specific, yet nondescript-looking, bricks and the wall vanished to reveal a tunnel.

"Come on, move yer arses!" Kelly told the others urgently. Murphy and Rotbart quickly followed him in and the wall reappeared behind them. Kelly pointed down a torch lit tunnel. "This way!" He said, and Murphy and Rotbart had to hurry to keep up with him. Unfortunately, Rotbart had to awkwardly crawl since he was too tall for the leprechaun-made passage way.

After what felt like too many twists and turns, Kelly led them to another brick wall. He hit three more bricks and the wall vanished to reveal Kelly's study and Apple giggling and babbling to Mag as she prepared a fire in the fireplace.

"He's SOOOOOO handsome!" Apple declared passionately (she didn't even notice the others enter and Rotbart desperately hoped it would stay that way).

"Yes, I know dear." Mag said patiently.

"Sooooooo POWERFUL..."

"Yes, I know dear."

"Soooooooo SEXY..."

Mag winced uncomfortably. "Yes, I know dear." She said awkwardly.

"How big do you think his..."

"I don't WANT to know, dear." Mag said shortly. Suddenly, Apple noticed Rotbart.

"ROBOOO!" She squealed as she hurled herself at him. Rotbart winced as she squeezed him. "Say Rotboo, just how big IS your..."

"Alright, dat's enough." Mag announced as she pried Apple off of Rotbart with surprising force for a three foot four, seven-month pregnant leprechaun. She plunked her down in a chair and handed her a steaming mug. "Now drink your tea." Mag told her.

Apple was not in favor of this idea. "But I don't want tea, I want to..."

"Yes, we all know what you want to do," Mag interrupted with a pointed glance at Rotbart. "But you need to drink your tea."

"No!" Apple said petulantly, as she put her tea aside. "I want..."

"Rotbart will do a strip tease for you if you do." Mag said quickly.

"WHAT?!" Rotbart shouted in disbelief. Mag gave him a look that plainly said: shut up and trust me, you stupid man. "Erm...yes." He said, praying that whatever Mag had planned wouldn't involve him getting naked.

Apple looked like a puppy that had just been promised a whole slab of bacon. "OOooooo!" She giggled. She downed her tea in one unprincessly gulp and stared at Rotbart with huge, eager, lecherous eyes.

"Alright sweet Roboo, take off your..." Apple didn't get any further. Within seconds she had pulled a Briar Beauty and was out cold.

"Right." Mag said calmly. "Now here's what needs to happen: Michael, you are going to go out there and offer everyone drinks of their choice on the house..."

"Are you mad, woman?!" Kelly said indignantly. "Have you SEEN the crowd tonight?! Tink of all the money we'll lose!"

"What I see, Michael, is a right mess." Mag said sternly. "Especially if anyone in dat crowd realizes they just saw the next Snow White get plastered. We can afford to be generous, but we can't afford a scandal. Which is why you are going to doctor up all these free drinks with this." Mag produced a small clear vial from her apron pocket. Rotbart instantly recognized it as a memory-erasing elixir. "This should wipe all the necessary slates clean. But remember: only ONE drop per customer..."

"You don't need to tell ME." Kelly muttered with a dirty look at Murphy.

"...And when you're finished wit all dat, you can throw that dammned love potion OUT." Mag continued. "You're a crap cupid, Michael Kelly, and I hope dis little fiasco has finally got it through your thick head." She gave her husband the potion and a hard stare.

Kelly knew better than to argue with Mag when she made that face, and hurried out of the study. Murphy just stood there looking awkward.

Mag frowned at him. "Well?" She said testily.

"Well what?" Murphy foolishly replied.

"Go help him! Dat's your job!" Mag snapped. The hapless leprechaun immediately scurried away to join his boss.

Mag shook her head in disgust before turning her attention to Rotbart. "Now, can you fly her back?" She asked.

"Not as dead weight." Rotbart said. "I can only fly people when they're conscious."

"Hmmm..." Mag considered. "Does her room have a fireplace?"

"No..." Rotbart suddenly remembered something. "But the girls' common room at EAH does."

"Flee powder it is then." Mag said decisively as she walked to the shelf of potions in Kelly's study. "Are you familiar wit it?"

"Sort of..." Rotbart replied. He had heard of Flee powder, but had never used it before.

"It's very simple." Mag said as she selected a small, green box. "After the flames change color, just step in, state where you want to go, and you'll be there before you can say 'there's no fireside like your own fireside.'"

"Right." Rotbart nodded.

"Just be sure you mind your words and don't linger in ta flames too long," Mag warned as she sprinkled some powder from the green box on to the fireplace. "Or you and ta princess will wind up spliced or scorched."

"Got it." Rotbart said.

"And one more ting." Mag said as she pulled another small vial out of her apron. "As soon as you get her in her own bed, get dis in her mouth."

"What is it?" Rotbart asked. He didn't recognize the blue, faintly sparkling potion Mag held in her hand.

"A little mixture o' tings that'll guarantee she'll sleep all dis off." Mag explained as she handed it to him. "And hopefully remember none of it." At that point, the flames in the fireplace suddenly turned green.

"Time to go." The leprechaun matron said authoritatively.

Rotbart heaved a huge sigh of relief ten minutes later. The Flee powder had brought him and Apple back to Ever After High quickly and without incident. No one been hanging around in the common room or hallways to freak out at his presence (and at Apple's unconsciousness). Rotbart had no trouble picking the lock to Apple and Raven's room and Raven had left a note on Apple's desk saying that she was sleeping over at Cedar and Cerise's room. Now all Rotbart had to do was give Apple Mag's potion; then he could leave and be done with this thoroughly hellish evening...

But just as Rotbart was preparing to open Apple's mouth to trickle the elixir in, she woke up.

And kissed him.