Title: spirits are always with you!!!

Rating: pg-13 for Ichigo's 'vocabulary'

Pairings/characters: Ichigo, don Kanonji, Ochi-sensei,

Word count: 853

Warnings: Crack, tiny spoilers for arrancar arc

Summary: a surprise speaker at school horrifes ichigo

Dedication: Ookami. 'Cause it's her birthday present :D

Prompt: that crazy 'bohahaha' guy and 'school'

A/N: I had a hard time with this one, simply because we don't see a huge amount of don Kanonji, which made him hard to write. The ending feels a little weak but… I'm still basically happy with it

Disclaimer: yeah. Tite Kubo? Yeah, that's not me. So I don't own bleach

Kurosaki Ichigo had gotten to school before 7:30. His friends had arrived at roughly the same time. The bell rang at 7:45.

The teacher did not appear in the class till 8:15.

"Sorry for the wait guys!" Ochi-sensei said calmly, pulling open the door and walking right in, "but you won't believe what happened to me on the way here."

The class practically rolled its eyes as a single unit, in preparation for some very stupid reason for Ochi-sensei's tardiness. Ichigo just sighed to himself and put his chin on the desk. His hollow alarm had kept going off at random points during the night in such a fashion that Ichigo was almost sure the hollows knew what they were doing and were actively trying to annoy him.

Not to mention, as it turned out, leaving your body to lie like a puppet with it's strings cut while your soul went off wander all over the rooftops of Karakura did not constitute actual sleeping.

Ichigo more or less tuned his happily blabbering teacher out, catching the occasional phrase as he attempted to at least rest his eyes.

"I really couldn't believe it, when I realized who I was talking too, and so of course I totally told him how so many of my students adore his show-"

…? Th' hell's she talking about? Ichigo though sleepily

"… So he was very enthusiastic when I asked if he'd be willing to come as a sort of guest speaker, he promised to search the school to see if there're any spiritual hot spots-"

…Spiritual- oh. Oh, hell. Please no, please let her be talking about someone else!! Ichigo wrapped his arms over his head, face down on the desk, trying to squeeze the very thought from his head.

"And soooo, here's our special guest: Don Kanonji-san!!"

Shit.

The door to the class burst open, the gaudily-dressed 'exorcist' standing with an air of intense melodrama in the door way.

"Hello, boys and girls! SPIRITS ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU!!! BOHAHAHAHA!!!" don Kanonji laughed his (very silly) trademark laugh, arms crossed across his chest.

Still keeping his head low and covered, Ichigo glanced around the room to see how his shinigami 'friends' who hadn't been present when he'd last seen Kanonji were reacting.

Renji was trying not to burst out laughing (he was putting in so much effort that his face was as red as his hair)

Hitsugaya looked like he was trying to figure out why no one was protesting the presence of an obviously mentally ill man in the classroom

Ikkaku was blinking at don Kanonji with a blank expression on his face, clearly in some sort of shock

Yumichika was apparently appraising the spiritualist's outfit with approval.

And Matsumoto was more or less the same as Renji, except she wasn't bothering to hold her laughter back.

Ichigo cast a wary glance at don Kanonji, who, standing at the front of the room, was apparently busy answering questions. He either was too distracted to draw attention to the fact that he knew Ichigo or else didn't realize Ichigo was in this class.

Ichigo calculated the level of injury he'd take from jumping out the window against the mental scarring sure to result from not escaping as soon as possible.

At that moment, Kanonji cast his eyes around the room and gave a loud (and probably over-dramatized) gasp.

"My No.1 Disciple!!"

Yes, the window would have been the smarter choice. Too late now though.

Heads turned to stare at Ichigo as Kanonji made very loud noises about hello, how good to see you, I have so much new stuff to teach you, hey why won't you look at me, I made you my no.1 disciple.

Ichigo ground his teeth together as he heard both Renji and Ikkaku make loud choking noises at each of Kanonji's comments/questions.

Oh, why, oh why, hadn't he just taken today off to get the extra sleep he needed?

"My no.1 disciple, come stand at the head of this class with me! I want to tell them all the story of how you helped me cleanse that spirit at the old hospital!" Kanonji said enthusiastically. Ichigo remained seated, glaring at the crazy exorcist who was insisting on destroying any dignity he may once have possessed, until Ochi-sensei actively instructed him to come to the front of the room.

Kanonji clapped a hand on Ichigo's shoulder, grinning at him. "So, shall we share the tale of our meeting, uh…um…"

Ichigo stared at him for a moment, and then realized what was confusing the spiritualist.

Ichigo had never told him his name.

"It's Ichigo."

"Ichigo! What a nice name, even if it is a bit unusual for a man to be named strawberry…"

The class was staring like they didn't know whether to be impressed that Ichigo really knew a TV star or to consider them both insane. Ichigo's eyebrow twitched.

Considering the torture and humiliation Ichigo could predict emerging in the next few hours, he would have welcomed a hollow attack about now.

Heck, Aizen's whole army could attack if he wanted it to.