Ever So Haunting
Topic: Naruto, which I do not own.
Genre: Angsty... coming in truckloads- yes folks, get out the helmets and knee pads.
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke would have paid anything to kill his brother. Anything other than what they took from him. SasuNaru, character death, AUish
Notes: Here you go -- um, please don't be too hard on this. Although I love angst, this is the first really-deep one I think I've posted here. Feedback would be appreciated. Un-beta'd, sooo... the crap-tascular rating ought to be higher than normal. Eheh?
Author: incessant insanity
What would you pay to achieve your goal?
Anything, I would pay anything at all.
What would you give up to have the chance to end things?
I would give up everything I had and then some.
Would you sell your soul to the devil if you had to?
In a heartbeat.
Uchiha Sasuke, the last Uchiha left, stared dully at the scene in front of him. Blood stained the forest, the rows of trees splattered and dripping with the red liquid. Kunais and shuriken and other sorts of knives were embedded in tree trunks and large sized ditches consumed the prosperous forest floor. Two bodies, obviously dead, but obviously alive just mere moments ago, laid in agonizing positions, one burnt beyond belief and the other coated in blood. Charred flesh and the metallic scent of blood filled his senses, and he desperately clasped his shaking and dirtied hands over his ears in an attempt to block out the screams ringing in his head.
He would have paid anything to achieve his goal...
His leg, cruelly impaled by a precisely thrown kunai, throbbed horribly, but he ignored it, gripping the sides of his head and scooting over wildly to one of the bodies nearby. Eyes wide and skin pale from the combination of shock and blood loss, the last Uchiha tried to see the underneath the underneath, like his sensei had taught him early on. This just couldn't be the plain truth; there had to be some sort of trick or catch or second part to it.
He would have given up everything if given a chance to end things...
Willing his shaking hand to stop and not understanding when it didn't, he delicately let his trembling fingers sweep over the pained face, tracing over the familiar grooves and dips. It was just like before, Sasuke told himself, just like all the other times he had caressed this face. All the same marks were there, all the same like imperfections that made it more perfect on the whole. It couldn't be any different from before, Sasuke wouldn't let it be. Except the skin was so cold and clammy and it didn't feel like the soft but equally rough skin Sasuke was used to touching. But no matter, Sasuke decided impulsively, moving to stroke a little more firmly, a little more desperate. If this was the skin on the face he loved so much, he would get used to it, because what else could he do?
Uzumaki Naruto was the only one left for him and certainly the only person Sasuke had ever felt something for – something so intense like the feelings swelling up inside him right at this very moment. Except, those feelings were wrong right now, because they showed remorse and regret and so, so, so much sadness that Sasuke felt like it was going to tear him apart, and why would he feel such things when Naruto was obviously fine?
Idly, Sasuke wondered why Naruto wasn't getting up since there was so much noise. Screaming and pounding, like the thrum of a loud heartbeat or a drum being played. Such odd noises for the middle of a forest, Sasuke thought, frowning. And they were so loud – who could be making such noises and couldn't they come back at a more appropriate time?
He would have sold his soul to the devil if need be.
It would not be until later when several medic nins, the Hokage, their sensei, and several other ANBU arrived at the scene and pulled Naruto out of Sasuke's tight, tight, tight arms, that Sasuke would finally get an inkling that something was very wrong. And it would not be until the medic nins pronounced Uzumaki Naruto dead from internal bleeding and a very serious stomach wound and Tsunade-sama broke down and clutched at the simple necklace Sasuke knew Naruto always wore, that he would finally understand the clammy, cold skin, the unresponsive body, pained expression frozen, and the mixed feelings slicing him in half.
And although his lover's murderer lay dead not even twenty feet away, Sasuke could not help but ignore his finally deceased brother, and he could not help but think of his Naruto going on a stretcher with a white sheet draped dramatically over his face. He paid no heed to future thoughts of reproducing his clan or that his clan was finally avenged or of any thoughts, really, dedicated to the dwindling Uchiha clan. He ignored, or rather was numbed, to the invisible tears running down his face, tears that would show as soon as he was alone and vulnerable and by himself.
The powerful breaking of his whole being, however, did not escape his notice, nor did Kakashi's attempts at getting him to move from his blood soaked spot. Stubbornly, he thrashed about, refusing to move from his spot, rewinding what he remembered in his mind, trying to figure out the exact moment his life had ended, the moment when Naruto had actually died. He had to remember this; he would not stand for it if his memory failed him.
Itachi and Sasuke had met up during a chance encounter in the woods and had immediately started fighting. Naruto had come, of course, but stayed a mere spectator at first due to Sasuke's warnings and demands. Things had all gone downhill when Sasuke had been trapped in the nightmare of his clan's massacre, feeling as if days, weeks, months, years had gone by without any notice. He pushed through those thoughts hurriedly, passing over the immeasurable agony with the barest of acknowledgment. When...
When had...? What came next, what else had happened?
The last Uchiha let out a soft, tortured sound. That was it. He couldn't think back.
There was nothing else he could remember, besides infinite pain and waking up to both ninjas dead. He hadn't been able to see the life flickering in and out in his brother's bleeding eyes. He hadn't been able to take the chance to save Naruto from whatever attack had befallen him. He had missed his chance, had been trapped in a broken nightmare, only to awake into another one. A real one. He bared the pain of losing his family in one fell swoop and then lost his only family again.
His heart swelled and shrunk and constricted and encompassed his whole being and squeezed. The air he sucked in was dry and tinged with death, his fingers shook as if trying to flake off the blood on them, his skin paled even further to show off the contrast of red on white, and in that moment, he looked painfully lost.
Lost, lost Uchiha with nowhere to go, no one to return to. He had lost everything, gained everything, then lost everything. The village would continue to hollowly adore him and girls would continue to mob him with exaggerated affections. How could things stay the same, with nothing changing, after he had lost what had meant the world to him? How could people hear of Naruto's death and think it was just another loss of a good ninja? How could they not understand that Naruto had made the ground Sasuke walked on stable and firm and littered with beautiful things?
It angered him. He angered himself. It was painfully clear in his mind; he remembered as he dove into battle with his brother, Naruto watching from the sidelines, that not once had it crossed his mind how much he loved the blonde. Even though he had calculated the odds of him coming out of the fight alive, never once did he think about the effects on Naruto. And despite his knowing of the blonde's love for him in return, he had never once imagined that Naruto would fight and die for him against his own brother.
It made the shock and hurt and heartbreak so, so much worse.
What Uchiha Sasuke realized was that in his willingness to give up everything, to pay any price, to sell his soul to any demon, that he was not the one They wanted. And in his rush to kill his only blood family, he had paid the toll, given up his everything, but not the toll or the everything he expected to sacrifice. It never once crossed his mind that maybe, They would take Naruto instead and that he would unknowingly give the blonde to Them.
It never once crossed his mind that maybe, in the end, he would regret.
Lost, lost Uchiha... in pain... and so, so full of regret, sitting in the forest, listening to the screams, red blood to white skin, his fingers still feeling that clammy skin, lost in his thoughts, lost in his regrets, lost in his sorrows.
Lost, lost, lost, lost. Forever lost in the forest where the thrumming beats of a heart are heard like a drum, ever so loud, ever so haunting.
I've always wanted to write a fic like this... was the insanity too confusing? I actually liked it, but then again... tell me what you think and if you feel the need to criticize, please do.
Flames will be washed in cold water and appropriately laughed at. And maybe responded with a bit of a rant.
Thanks for stopping in, a bit AUish, I guess.
II