EDsassination #3: Commencing the EDsassination Plan!
(Outside of the E-Class Building)
It was another bright sunny day in Japan, away from civilization and in the mountains was a small, old wooden school building called E-Class, which was a part of Kunugigaoka Junior High School. In the woods was Koro Sensei, the yellow octopus-like educator, sitting in a foldable beach chair as he was drinking through a straw from a brightly colored cup while reading a newspaper that had the destroyed moon as its cover headline.
"Hmm...the moon is all they're talking about in the States, too." He said, continuing to relax in the shade of the trees surrounding him. "Does no one care about anything else?"
However, Koro Sensei wasn't alone. Hiding behind a tree to his left was Sugino, watching out from behind the corner of the tree.
"There he is. Chilling out back before the first bell, not a care in the world. Reading a Hawaiian newspaper, casually picked up from Hawaii on the way here." Sugino said as he turned his head to Nagisa, Edric, and Double D. "Nice, good work Nagisa. Thanks, I owe ya one."
"Hm. You're welcome." Nagisa said with a smile, holding a small notepad. "Best of luck, Sugino."
"Yosh, get ready. Double D?" Edric said as he held up his iPhone, pointed it at Koro Sensei with the video recording app on, and pressed the record button.
Double held up a yellow spiral notebook and opened it. The page he opened had a drawing of a baseball with a bunch of small circles on it, which were labeled as BBs, and a short description under the ball.
"Right." The hat-wearing Ed announced. "EDsassination attempt #8. Ready when you are, Sugino."
"Heh, 10 billion big, here I come!" Sugino grinned confidently and held up a baseball that had about twenty Anti-Sensei BBs on it.
(4th Wallbreak)
"Yo, Edric here, and I'm a part of the group called the Eds. Just like everyone in E-Class, we are assassins or in my case the EDsassins." Edric said, he turns to Koro Sensei and sticks his thumb at him. "And our target is our teacher, Koro Sensei the Octopi."
And with that, everything around Edric turned back to the way it was as Sugino pointed his left shoulder, and just like a baseball player in the leagues, threw the ball straight at Koro Sensei. The ball flew at the octopus, while the other boys looked on in anticipation. This was going to work!
Or so they thought.
"Top of the mornin' to ya!" Koro Sensei greeted, standing behind the four boys. Their eyes widened upon realizing that the target had gotten out of the way and moved positions in the blink of an eye. "It's usually considered polite to reply."
"And it's rude to sneak up on us, you damn Octopus!" Edric retorted, turning to his teacher with his phone still recording before turning it off. He almost had a heart attack there!
Sugino was turning his head to the beach chair, which had a dust cloud around it and the newspaper in mid air before falling, then looked towards Koro Sensei in shock and confusion. As he was busy glancing back and forth between the two, Nagisa and Double D looked at the yellow creature with slightly widened eyes.
"Yes, sir." Double D said quickly and nervously. "Pardon us. How do you do, sir?"
"A baseball embedded with government issued Anti-Me BBs? Creative! Points for choosing a method of delivery quieter than the pop of a standard air-rifle. Unfortunately, once airborne, the weapon gave me nothing but free time. Ample opportunity, in fact, to organize a defensive maneuver. A quick visit to the equipment room and tada!" Koro Sensei evaluated. He held up his left hand to show him wearing a baseball glove, with the ball in it, smoke coming off of it. "I had, pardon the pun, a handy solution."
"GAH!" Sugino stared at him with wide, white eyes and hanging jaws. Nagisa just looked with the same expression that said 'are you kidding me?'
"Handy, my ass!." Edric shouted, throwing an Anti-Sensei knife in response before Koro Sensei moved quickly. "You don't have any hands!"
"Nur fufufufu. Tick-tock children, graduation will be here before you know it." Koro Sensei said with green stripes on his face, tossing the ball up and down in the glove. He then turned and walked away towards the school, as the four boys watched him leave. "Right then, homeroom, if you would please."
"Yes, sir..." Sugino sighed in a depressed tone of voice, catching the attention of the other three boys. "Dammit. Well, so much for my fastball. Big shock there I guess."
"It was a good throw." Nagisa told him, looking at him worriedly.
"It can't be helped." The scar teen said. "That octopus is too fast for the ball to reach."
"And besides, you were helpful to us in a very big way." Double D, trying to cheer him up. But it didn't work, Sugino just put his hands in his pockets and walked away.
The three remaining boys looked at one another, worried about their classmate. Double D looked down at the spiral notebook in his hand. Taking out a red marker and pulling off the cap, he put an X at the bottom right corner.
Edric had a feeling that the EDsassination attempt wasn't the only thing that made Sugino down from the dumps. Could it have something to do with his throw?
"Hah…" Edric sighed in exhaustion. It's too damn early for this.
(Cue Tougenkyou Alien by serial TV Drama)
(Instrumental)
(Then scene pans at the city of Tokyo, Japan. Edric walked in facing backwards as he turned around and gave a biggest goofiest smile. The scene changed to Kunugigaoka Junior High as pans away. Eddy and Ed came next as the two did the same thing as Edric. Then changed to the E-Class building in the mountain as it zooms closer. Double D came last as he gave his smile. The scene zooms to the classroom, in which no one was there except Koro Sensei with his arms wiggling about and giving his signature smile as the title appeared.)
Ed Edd Eddy n Edric: The EDsassination Classroom
{Sunda hitomi ga yobisamasu wasurekaketeta seigikan seigikan}
'My dead eyes are woken up by the sense of justice, a sense of justice I had forgotten.
{sui mo amai mo shaburi tsukusu kyou no TĒMA wa kanzen chou aku sa}
'Sour or sweet, I'll gobble them all down. Today's theme is rewarding good and punishing evil.'
(Edric was walking towards the halls of his dorm room, making his way to the bathroom, yawning. He picked his nose as his 13 year old self appeared behind him as did his 7 year old self. The scene changed to him sitting at the table with the other Eds as he drank his cola before throwing it away, hitting Eddy on the head, and ate his red bean paste on rice. Then Edrice was standing on top of the mountain, viewing Kunugigaoka Junior High and Tokyo from afar. The screen panned to the E class building as it gradually moved to the classroom, where Nagisa and Kayano by their desk as they looked up smiling, Karma glanced up and smirked, The Eds sat by their desk while Edric leaned back before looking up and smiled.)
{sanbuntekina kuchiburi de yatara usobuku EIRIAN EIRIAN}
'With a commoners' speak. Randomly cry, "Alien! Alien!"'
{norarikurari to tsumibukaki tougenkyou ni GUDDOBAI shitan naraba}
'Evasive and sinful, if you've said your goodbyes to Shangri-La.'
(Yada, Kanzaki and Nakamura talked as they walked to the building. Nakamura decided to tease them a little as Yada blushed while Kanzaki simply smiled. Transition to Koro Sensei as he wiggled around before he split into nine and posed. Changed to Takebayashi and Okajima chat about the maid cafes with the Okajima gushing about the girls there on their way home. They then turned to see the Eds coming at them in a makeshift go cart with Edric driving, freaking them out, as they passed by them.)
{risou ni chuujitsu na ooh kibou wa mada sutete wa ikenai sa}
'You must not yet. Ooh, Throw away a hope that is loyal to your standards.'
(Nagisa and Kayano were driving their go cart with Karma with a Anti-Sensei rocket launcher and Sugino hanging on. Terasaka and his entourage were running with Ritsu on wheels, carrying Hara, Kurahash, Hazama and Okuda joining with Takebayashi and Okajima. Yada, Kanzaki and Nakamura were on theirs while Okano used skates. Fuwa pointed forwards as she's with Maehara and Mimura in their go cart. Isogai drove his cart with a nervous laugh while Kataoka sighed. Chiba and Hayami drove theirs with guns in hand. Kimura drove with Sugaya drawn in his sketchbook. Itona drove a makeshift motorcycle. Then Karma fired his launcher as it was going towards the Eds as they screamed in panic as it exploded into them.)
{SHĪSŌ GEMU wa tsudzuiteku sou sou bokura mo yuzurenai}
'The seesaw game is continuing. Yeah, Yeah, and we won't give up.
{shinkenshoubu ni yami tsuki de mou doushitatte yamerarenai ya iya}
'Addicted to full-on fighting, I just don't know what to do, I can't quit now-owow.'
(The scene changed to the forest in the mountains where Edric was running in a military uniform as he wielded his Anti-Sensei bokuto in blue paint as he slashed his opposing students with it in a battle cry. The Eds joined him as they fought off as the scene changed to Takaoka with Smog, Grip and Gastro. Then the screen panned up to see Shiro along with the Reaper as he showed his frightening smile. Karasuma was having a meeting with his superiors before turning around and walking away as the scene flashed into Irina in her casual look, then to Gakuha Asano in his office, then to Aguri Yukimura in her lab coat.)
{unmeiron nante zenzen kankeinai}
'Fatality doesn't matter at all.
{isshokenmei da da da}
'With all you've got, yell 'Da! Da! Da!''
(The Eds emerged from the smoke from earlier and drove as fast as they could while Karma kept firing at them. The mountain was seen as explosions were seen as they gradually went down. The Eds stops at the fence of the school as Edric skidded, leaving tire marks on the ground. Edrice then faces the screen with a 'da' followed by Ed Edd n Eddy then Koro Sensei appearing above the Eds.)
EDsassination #3: Commencing the EDsassination Plan!
(1st Period)
A few minutes after the first period started, and the four boys were in their seats, Koro Sensei started his lesson as he wrote on the blackboard.
"'April is the cruelest month…'" He read out loud from a textbook of modern literature. "'...breeding lilacs out of the dead land…'"
(4th Wallbreak)
Everything turned gray as Edric turned to the readers again.
"The task that was given to us is to kill the octopus of a teacher, who for some reason wanted to teach a bunch of Junior high failures, by next year." Edric explained. "The Yorozuya Eds are on board because one, we want to live, and two, the reward was enough to convince Eddy to accept this job."
Time resumes as the students pay attention to Koro Sensei's lectures. Meanwhile, Eddy leaned towards Double D and whispered.
"So, Sockhead." He said, making the brainy Ed boy look at his shorter friend as he grinned in anticipation. "How was the attempt?"
"A failure, I'm afraid." Double D said, shaking his head before looking over his left shoulder to look at Sugino, prompting Eddy to do the same. They watched their classmate staring at his hand, disheartened, as he opened and closed his hand repeatedly. "However, I'm afraid that the failed effort has made a fellow classmate of ours take it personally."
"So what? It's not something to get all mopey for. It's not like any of us could have done any better." Eddy asked. He looked over Double D's back at Edric with a raised eyebrow. "Besides, I thought that it was all a part of the EDsassination Plan?"
(4th Wallbreak)
Edric shrugged and turned to the readers to explain what Eddy meant by the 'EDsassination Plan'.
"The 'Edsassination Plan' was something that we Eds came up with together, and the rest of the class agreed with it. The idea was simple: document every assassination attempt on our target."
Edric took out his notebook of said plan from Double D's desk.
"First, the person would tell us their idea of attack, then we write it down in this spiral notebook, and then have them attempt their plan. If the attempt was a success, without killing him, then we put down a checkmark on that plan. However, if it wasn't, then it would have an X. It was one big trial and error process. To see and remember what we did right, and want what we did wrong. All of it leads towards coming up with one big plan to ultimately assassinate Koro Sensei. But the only question was would it be enough to kill our 'unkillable' teacher of an octopus?"
Edric then puts it back in Double D's desk as time resumes.
As it did, Koro Sensei used his Mach 20 speed and passed between Nagisa and Double D, surprising those two, and speeded back to the front of the room. Sosuke Sugaya, a tall and slender male student with light gray/silver hair that passed his ears and small dark eyes, looked at where his notebook that he was drawing on used to be in surprise, before looking up at the front.
"Sugaya!"
Koro Sensei's stern tone made him flinch. The being looked at his notebook with piercing, shining eyes, making the student even more nervous. However, Koro Sensei's face returned to normal a moment later.
"Not a bad likeness, I'll give you that." He said before turning over the notebook to show the picture to Sugaya and the class, but with red markings on it, the red markings were his own personal adjustments, such as adding a jaw. "But I'm a little hurt by the jaw line."
"What jaw?!" Eddy retorted.
"You don't have a jaw!" Maehara added.
"You drew on it, you narcissist octopus!" Edric adds his 2 cents, throwing not one but three Anti-Sensei knives at Koro Sensei in a blink of an eye.
"Whoop!" Koro Sensei immediately moved away, dodging the knives as he looked at Edric. "Edric, what did I say about assassinating me during class!?"
"Ha! That only for the guns! You should pay more attention to what you say, baka sensei!" Edric called out, pointing at his teacher with a demonic smile and tongue sticking out. "That's a loophole for me to take advantage of!"
"Grk!" Koro Sensei can only grunt, not realizing it sooner.
"Edric, please look more human." Double D said as he and the other Eds looked at his friend in sweatdrop.
DING-DONG! DING-DONG!
"That's lunch, people." Koro Sensei said, hearing the bell rang and going over to the window. "If you'll excuse me, I have some important off-campus business to attend to."
"Tofu from China?" Isogai asked.
"Actually, I'm catching a ball game in The Big Apple." He told them, flashing out of the room. "Ciao."
WHOOSH!
Almost everyone yelped and covered their faces when his take off caused yet another dust cloud to form.
"He sure knows how to make an exit." Yoshida said.
"I know!" Terasaka said. "That thing is starting to get on my nerves."
Edric pulled out his lunchbox when he heard that in annoyance. What they did with Nagisa in that suicide bomb stunt made him bitter against them, especially Terasaka. Then he took out a can of sweet red bean paste as he opened his lunch, revealing only rice, before pouring the paste onto it making his favorite Uji Gintoki bowl since he's a fan of Gintama. That's when Ed turned to his friends with his happy going smile.
"Do you think he'll bring us a souvenir, guys?" Ed asks them.
"I know what you mean, Ed." Kurahashi said. "We're stuck here while he flies all over the world. He could at least bring souvenirs."
"Think about what he'd bring back." Kataoka said as she walked in front of her desk. "Are you that hard up for a mortar shell?"
"I'm just saying an exotic snack would be nice." Kurahashi responded. "It's not like he has to sneak into customs."
"You've obviously dedicated a lot of thought into this." Kataoka said.
"So hey, what's New York's cheap export?" Isogai asked Maehara, who was in front of him.
"I don't know, booze?" Maehara replied.
"Sucks, we're not drinking age." Isogai laughs.
"What about something greasy from one of those food trucks." Kurahashi said, before Okajima stood up with a perverted smile.
"Man, New York girls are hot!" He said, wiggling his body side to side. "Especially the blondes!"
"Oh yeah!" Maehara agreed with Okajima.
"Damn! Can you imagine if one came back with him as a transfer student?" Okajima asked.
While Okajima was having his perverted fantasies, Nakamura leaned forward on her desk and smirked mischievously at Double D.
"So smart-guy." She said, catching his attention and making him look at her. "Are they all as good as we imagine?"
Double D looked at her in confusion for a moment before thinking for a moment, while Eddy, Edric, and Ed covered their mouths to prevent their giggles from being heard.
"Well, I can't say that I have been to New York." Double D said before smiling. "But I'm sure that they must certainly be."
"PFFFT-HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
That caused Ed, Eddy and Edric to laugh out loud as the latter bangs his fist on his desk. Most of the other students joined in, some laughing, chuckling, or giggling. At first Double didn't get the whole thing, all he just said was that everything they said was…his eyes widened as a blush formed on his face.
"Oh my..." Double D said before recomposing himself and frowned at her, unappreciated. "Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Ms. Nakamura."
They continued laughing, until the door opened and in came Karasuma, along with a few people in business suits. Almost admittedly, all commotion stopped as the student stared at him.
"Oh, Karasuma-san." Isogai said.
"Children. Any progress on killing the tentacle menace?" Karasuma asked with his stern face.
"Define progress?" Nagisa asked the government agent.
Edric cleared his throat and stood up as he took the yellow notebook from Double D's desk, much to his annoyance.
"It's not much of a plan, but we've come up with this." He presented the notebook to the man, who took it and opened it. Karasuma looked through the first pages with no change in his expression, before looking at Edric.
"What is this?"
"The EDsassination Plan!" Ed exclaimed with a big grin.
"It's not really a plan, but more of a documentary." Double D corrected, joining in. "We put down every assassination plan and attempt we have on him, and then use the successes and failures of each attempt to create an ultimate plan to kill him."
Karasuma looked back down at the notebook and noticed the X in the bottom right corner of the page. He turned the page and saw the same thing, as well on the next page.
"What's with all the X's?" He asked, in which the classroom looked discouraged and Edric sighs before explaining to him.
"The X means the attempt didn't work while a check mark means it worked but so far it didn't kill him. We record any attempts and keep doing those so we can use them in future attempts. All comes with trial and error, learning from it until one of the octopus is killed."
"So that's a no?" Karasuma concludes it.
"Pretty much." Edric ssaid. Then Kirara Hazama, a slender girl in the back with wavy, shoulder-length black hair and thick eyelashes leaned back in her chair with her hands behind her head.
"Yeah, this is E-Class, yo." She said, glanced at a down Sugino out of the corner of her eyes. "You're going to have to lower your expectations."
"Oh yeah, like you've done anything worthwhile!" Eddy exclaimed at her with a glare.
"Eddy please, calm yourself." Double D said before turning his head to Karasuma. "Mr. Karasuma, with all due respect, Koro Sensei is too fast for us to kill."
"Like so quick you can't even see him sometimes." Koki Mimura, a male student with light brown hair styled in a bowl cut and light eyes who sat behind Double D, said.
"You said so yourself." Maehara pointed out. "He tops out at Mach 20. How do we kill something like that?"
"I don't know." Karasuma said. "But you kids better figure it out."
"Really?" Ed asked.
"Really, you're the only hope we got." Karasuma pointed at the class. "He teaches willingly. Putting himself in the line of fire by choice."
This caused many to groan and moan in protest before he reminds them what's at stake here.
"If you allow that creature to live, come March, Earth will be totally annihilated. And in case you need a reminder of how powerful he is, take a look at what's left of our moon. That'll be our planet in a year. In short, he's too dangerous to take lightly. That's why this classroom is the last stand between mankind and extinction."
"Yeah, yeah, we get it." Edric said, picking his nose with his index finger with a deadpan expression. "If we're gonna take it seriously, then I have a request."
"Oh, what is it?" Karasuma asked. Edric draws out Lake Kiryu and shows it to him.
"I want the science division to make a replica of my Lake Kiryu out of those Anti-Sensei materials." Edric tells him as Karasuma raises an eyebrow along with the students besides Ed Edd n Eddy. "I practiced with this sword for seven years and am more familiar with it than the weapons you issued us. After all, assassins are more used to the weapons they specialized in."
Karasuma stared at Edric and his sword for a moment before nodding his head, accepting his request. He handed Edric back the yellow notebook before walking out of the room with his partners. As everyone in class was a bit down from what Karasuma reminded them of what's at stake. Edric watches the downfest before going back to his seat and gives Double D the notebook.
(4th Wallbreak)
"I can honestly say that this is the first time me and the Eds have ever been given the chance to play heroes. With outcasts like us, and our history of scheming and plotting, things were undoubtedly going to get interesting. Are we up for it? Hell yeah. Can we do it? It was a tall order, considering we know nothing about Koro Sensei. We can't even say why he would want to blow up the Earth. But our biggest question is why he would want to be our homeroom teacher?" He said to the readers as he ate his Uji Gintoki bowl.
After lunch, the rest of the day is resume class and try the EDsassination attempt again tomorrow.
(The Next day)
It was lunch time, Sugino was sitting on the stairs, outside of the E-Class building, looking down at his open Bento box. He hasn't eaten a thing from it because he was still depressed from the failed assassination from yesterday, as it brought back memories that he wasn't too proud of. With a sigh, he closed the box and set it aside and sat there, complementing the silence with his own.
"There you are. This may come in handy."
Sugino looked up to see Koro Sensei as he presented the modified baseball over his shoulder. Sugino looked at it with slightly widened eyes.
"Thank you, Koro Sensei." Sugino said as he looked up at him, noticing that the teacher was eating a large fruit with a brownish green shell, and crunched whenever he bit into it. "Wait, what-what are you eating?"
"A coconut I bought yesterday in Hawaii." He replied with what sounded like a mouth full of the fruit. But you wouldn't have been able to know that with the way his head is. "Care for a bite?"
"You shouldn't eat the husk." Sugino grabbed the ball and started tossing it up in the air, before Koro Sensei sat down next to him.
"Solid throw yesterday, by the way." Koro Sensei said, complimenting him.
"Hah. Yeah right." He said doubtfully. "Said the guy who can throw a ball faster and farther on accident than I'll ever be able to on purpose."
Back in the building, Edric was walking back to the room after using the bathroom.
"Doesn't this place have a janitor? At least daddy-long legs aren't in the toilet bowl. Stupid bug" He grumbled. As he approached the door to the room, he noticed the two sitting outside and stopped. Luckily the window was open so that he was able to listen to what they were saying.
"Are you on a team?" Koro Sensei asked, causing Sugino to stop tossing the ball and look at him with a pause. He then looked down in depression again.
"I used to be," He answered.
"And…you're not any longer?" Koro Sensei asked again.
"…They uh…They kicked me off."
Edric went to the window and leaned forward on it, further interested in the conversation since it's related to Sugino's down mood yesterday.
"Teams are only for D-Class and above." Sugino continued with his story. "Because we're here to get our grades back on track, extra-curricular stuff like sports isn't allowed."
"Sounds suspiciously like discrimination." Koro Sensei pointed out.
"I would have gotten booted here either way. C'mon, you saw my pitch. I'm too slow. I've never struck anyone out, wound up bench-warming most of the season. I was so depressed that I got just as slow hittin' the books. That's why I got packed off here into the mountains." Sugino finishes his story with his eyes closed.
(4th Wallbreak)
Edric sighed and leaned on his hand, resting his cheek, as he looked at the readers.
"Yeah, I can relate. When I moved to the Cul-De-Sac two years ago, the first people I met were the Eds. I was afraid that they'd discriminate against me because of my appearance, but to my shock, they didn't mind. Ed even said that it made me look cool."
He sighed, reminiscing his Cul-De-Sac days.
"The same couldn't be said for the other kids at first. Some didn't mind, while others called me dull. However, because I became friends with the Eds first, and I was unaware of their reputation, everyone just associated me with them, to the point that they were the only people willing to hang out with me. Luckily, that all changed after the Big Picture Show."
Sugino opened his eyes and looked at the sky. "When Edric threw those knives at you, I noticed that your shoulder was a bit grazed. Even at Mach 20, he threw faster than me. I'm a bit jealous of him."
That surprised Edric, honestly he was lucky when he got his finger when he came here. But grazing Koro Sensei's shoulder, he just did that throw just for comedy and making fun of the octopus.
"Hoh. You notice that, huh." Koro Sensei said, having noticed that yesterday astonished him. Sugino nodded and looked down to the ground.
"Sugino." Koro Sensei spoke up, bringing back both the mentioned boy and Edric's attention back to him. "May I give you a friendly piece of advice?"
"Edric?"
The voice behind him made the teen to turn around to the sources. He saw that it was Nagisa standing there with an assignment in his hands.
"Hey Nagisa, what's up?" Edric asked.
"I was just going to turn in this work." Nagisa said, gesturing to the assignment. "What are you doing out here?"
"I was coming back from using the bathroom when I saw Koro Sensei talking to Sugino out there." He took a step to the side so Nagisa could see. The blue-haired boy walked next to Edric and the two watched Sugino and Koro Sensei.
"What do they have to talk about?" Nagisa's eyes widened in realization. "Holy crap!"
"Hah?" Edric looked at him with a slightly panicked expression. "What's up with you?"
"He's ticked off he tried to kill him!" Nagisa started running down the hallway with Edric following, dumbfounded by his friend's conclusion. The two ran out of the entrance of the school, they were left in complete and total shock and horror when they did.
"IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT!" Nagisa and Edric screamed, seeing what the teacher was doing to Sugino.
Koro Sensei was laying on his back, holding Sugino in the air with many of his tentacles wrapped around his body and limbs, twisting and turning his arms as the boy was trying to scream, but had a tentacle in his mouth.
"Oi! Have you gone crazy, Ero Sensei?!" Edric exclaimed before he and Nagisa rushed to stop him. Then he pulled out his Anti-Sensei knife and bokuto as he jumped at the teacher, only for him to move out of the way, as he landed onto the ground.
THUD!
But his feet slipped and face planted on the dirt.
"Ow..."
"Please sir, don't do this!" Nagisa exclaimed, pleading to the yellow being to stop. "He was doing what he had to. The deal was you couldn't hurt any of us."
"Hahaha. There it is. I thought I recognized that pitching style." Koro Sensei stated, as Edric stood up and spit the dirt out of his mouth with an annoyed look. "You were imitating Major League pitcher, Arita."
This seemed to catch Sugino off guard while Edric raised an eyebrow, confused by this.
"That's right, these tentacles don't lie." Koro Sensei gently places Sugino on the ground, unraveling his body and limbs. "Your shoulders are significantly less flexible than your idols, I'm afraid."
"What exactly are you trying to say?" Sugino asked, being a bit defensive on the subject.
"That the famous Arita fastball you're trying so hard to copy, is simply never going to be your thing." Koro Sensei said bluntly.
Nagisa and Sugino gasped as the latter felt that his world was coming down by the minute. Edric, however, was confused by Koro Sensei's objective. He may not know him too well but he knows that there's a reason behind his words.
"That's not fair." Nagisa suddenly said, Edric notices that his hair is covering his eyes and he grips his fist tightly. "You don't know, how could you? That's ridiculous, you can't just..."
"Look, don't worry about it." Sugino tries to reassure him. Edric and Koro Sensei stood silently as they continued to listen to Nagisa's rant.
"I get it, why even bother? Hey, we're just E-Class, right?" Nagisa asks before snapping at Koro Sensei with a fierce look in his eyes. "We're just losers and lost causes!"
Sugino looks down, saddened by Nagisa's words while Edric looks at them with soft eyes. He understands where this is coming from after all he and the Eds are outcast themselves, but even if they are, they never stop trying. He was about to cheer them up until Koro Sensei beat him to it.
"You misunderstand me, I base this entirely on firsthand experience." Koro Sensei announced, showing them that had the headline: 'TENTACLES ATTACK: Pitcher Arita Attacked by Tentacles!' and the main picture showed Arita being lifted off the ground and tangled up in the yellow limbs that were coming out of the pitcher's mound. "First-through-eighth-hand experience!"
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Edric, Nagisa, and Sugino yelled with eyes turned white and jaws dropped, horrified by their teacher's actions.
"I even got his autograph!" Koro Sensei sobbed happily as he held up a notepad that had said 'Knock it off, tentacles!—Arita'.
"You actually asked for an autograph after you assaulted him?!" Nagisa exclaims.
"Unbelievable, right? He was so nice about it! I almost died!" Koro Sensei said as he continued to sob. Edric snagged the newspaper from his teacher's tentacles while reading the article. He then looked at Koro Sensei with his dead fish eyes, startling his teacher.
"Oi, Ero Sensei. You should change your career from teacher to molester." Edric said.
"Gah?!" Koro Sensei was horrified by the new nickname his transfer student gave him. "Why would you say that and call that name no less!?"
"Didn't molest Sugino and Arita, Hentai Tentacles?!" Edric shouted.
"I wasn't molesting! I was comparing muscles!" Koro Sensei's face was now blushing red from Edric's insulting nicknames.
Nagisa and Sugino watch as their dead fish eyed friend and their teacher argue about the latter's weird intentions. Sugino sighs as he closes his eyes and looks down in sorrow.
"He's right, though. Some of us are born with talent and some of us not so much…" Sugino said, bringing Nagisa's attention back to him while the two stopped their ranting and turned to him. Nagisa Looked at him with empathy, knowing that there was nothing he could say that would cheer him up.
"Talent is relative. Arita's wrist and elbows aren't as flexible as yours." Koro Sensei said as he reached and grabbed Sugno's hand, before bending the wrist back and forth, and pulling his arms to bend and stretch it, shocking him with this revelation. "Like I said, these tentacles don't lie. Given enough time and practice, you could become just as good a player, if not better. Besides, why settle for being an imitation? Next time, try assassinating me with your own style."
As he finished lecturing him, he turned around and walked back to the school. Sugino took his eyes off of his retreating body and looked down at his hand.
"More flexible, huh? I never realized." He then used his other hand to bend his hand by the wrist forward, in which he didn't feel as though he was straining his wrist and it felt comfortable. "How about that, my own style."
Edric smiled down at him, seeing that Koro Sensei's lecture brought Sugino's hopes back to life.
"You're going to be okay?" He asked.
"Yeah." Sugino stood up pumping his fist. "I think I am."
Edric then noticed Nagisa running after Koro Sensei. Wanting to know what was going to happen, he followed after him. Korosensei was in the hallway and was about to open the door when Nagisa called out to him.
"Excuse me, sir!" Nagisa called out
Koro Sensei turned to see Nagisa as he approached him.
"Did you really fly all the way to New York just to give Sugino a piece of advice?" He asked.
"Why not? I'm his teacher." Koro Sensei said.
"Well, it's just that most teachers I know wouldn't go that far for a student." Nagisa explained. "And I mean, here you are planning to blow up the planet by the time we graduate and all that."
Edric stopped a few feet away, wanting to listen to what was going to be said. Koro Sensei seemed to have just paused for a moment, as if he was reminiscing about something. He had a feeling Koro Sensei lost something important in his life prior to meeting E-Class. After all, Edric lost something too when he was a child.
"Nagisa, Edric." He spoke, acknowledging the black-haired teen's presence, prompting him to walk up and stand next to his friend. "The details aren't important, let's just say I'm here to make good on a promise. One I don't take lightly."
Edric was interested about what promise his teacher made but didn't pry for it since it's the octopus business.
"The Earth will be destroyed, yes. But my first priority is to you and your classmates." Koro Sensei took Nagisa's assignment, before writing on it at lightning fast speeds. He then stopped and turned the paper around to show Nagisa's paper with many underlines, words circled, and side notes with 96% on the left hand corner. "Nothing beats giving you kids the credits you're due. Not even me blowing up the Earth."
Nagisa reached and took the graded assignment, looking at his teacher in amazement. Edric was glad that there's a teacher who was going out of his way to help them with whatever he can, which is saying something. Teachers he'd met only cared about money and their career more than the students.
"Koro Sensei…"
Nagisa stared at his teacher in admiration, having a moment in which Edric hadn't seen it other than on TV, manga or anime before. 'Til Edric breaks the mood.
"The hell's with the stupid extra credit question?" Edric pointed to a question that had a tentacle with a bow.
"Wha?! It's not stupid!" Koro Sensei exclaimed, throwing a few of his tentacles up and sweating.
"We get it, you're fast." Nagisa said, exasperated. "No point being weird about it, right?"
"Aw…it's only a bonus question." Koro Sensei said.
"Honestly sir, it feels more like a penalty." Nagisa said his opinion.
"What kind of a teacher are you other than being a pervert?" Edric asked, adding more to the injury.
"Uh...yeah...well. Anyway, I hope my students take assassinating me as seriously as I take their education." Koro Sensei quickly changed the subject with a twirl of his pen. His face formed the green strips, before he took a bite out of his pen. "Not that you'll ever pull it off, of course."
He just continued to eat his pen as Edric and Nagisa stared at him while the former deadpanned. They looked at each other for a moment and smiled.
(After School)
After school was over, Sugino asked Nagisa and the Eds to help him practice. He wanted to try out his new form of pitching. With nothing better to do, the four Americans agreed along with Nagisa.
"Hey, bater-bater-bater! Send him home! Three, two, three, one! To the finish line!" Ed exclaimed, crouching low to the ground and holding up a glove, acting as the catcher in a baseball game. Ed looked over his shoulder at Eddy, who was standing behind him as if he was the Umpire. "Am I good or what?"
Eddy looked at him, weirded out by his friend's previous gibber.
"Did you forget to eat breakfast again, Ed?" He asked before looking at Sugino, who was a few meters away. "We're all set!"
Double D, who was standing on the side with Edric and Nagisa, pointed to a speed monitor made out of random junk lying around at Sugino.
"Ready when you are." Edric said with a thumbs up.
Sugino nodded at him before turning towards Ed and Eddy. He threw the ball, sending it traveling faster than he's ever thrown before, and into Ed's catching mite. The impact with the leather glove was enough to make any dust on it come off in a small cloud. The sound of the impact could be heard from all of them.
"Strike three!" Ed exclaimed happily. "You're out!"
"Hell yeah Eddy praised him with a grin, while Ed threw the ball back at him, which Sugino caught with ease.
"The speed was outstanding, Sugino." Double D said with a smile, lowering the speed monitor. "Keep this up, and you'll be able to perform at a greater rate. Even at Edric's level."
"And that's saying something." Edric points out. Back at the Cul-De-Sac, Double D helps Edric when he practices swordsmanship and develops his sword style he has today.
"All in the wrist and elbows. I'm perfecting a curveball that plays to my strengths. Between that and the change ups I'm working on, I've already got a half-decent arsenal." Sugino said as the Eds and Nagisa gathered around him. Then reached into his pocket and pulled out the modified baseball from before. "Nothing Koro Sensei can't see coming from a mile away, but what are you gonna do? I'm sticking with it though, perseverance is key. In baseball and assassination."
The other boys nodded with approval. Edric touched his bokuto in admiration, he has an inspiration of using one ever since he saw the Gintama anime. He made one from scratch with the help of the other Eds. With supersonic speed and those multi-tasking tentacles, Koro Sensei has the advantage. Killing him wouldn't be easy. But we stick to what we're good at and they'll definitely kill him at some point this school year.
Edric then saw Eddy run past him, making him look to see his friend running towards an open window. The loudmouth Ed stopped when he reached in and grinned when he saw Koro Sensei doing paperwork.
"Yo, Octopus!" He exclaimed, catching the teacher's attention. "Why don't you come out here so our boy Sugino can try and kill ya?"
"Nur Fufufufufufu. You're a glutton for disappointment?" Koro Sensei giggled as green stripes reappeared on his face.
(4th Wallbreak)
"Out of all the teachers we've had in Peach Creek, he was the only one that could really motivate us. He really sparked a fire in not just me but Eddy, Ed, and Double D too. I'd even say we were having a blast as his students!" Edric tells the readers.
And so the Yorozuya Eds, Nagisa and Sugino were attempting to kill the octopus again for the rest of the day.
(The Next Day)
The Yorozuya Eds were walking towards the old school building, ready to start the day. Well, almost everyone was. Ed was skipping happily across the mountain along with Double D minus the skipping. Edric spends the commute reading this week's Jump while following his friends so he doesn't get lost. Eddy, however, was tired in the morning as he was not a morning person y'all know.
"This sucks..." Eddy wailed.
"I know what you mean." Edric grumbled, looking up from his Jump before letting out a yawn. "Out of all the days to go to school, it had to be a Saturday?"
"Endure, gentlemen." Double D said with a much happier tone than the other two. "Today is another day for learning and being with other classmates in our classroom."
"Hey, you guys!" Someone called out to them from behind.
The Eds turned around to see Isogai, Megu, Okano, Maehara, Mimura, and Yada approaching them. Edric didn't know Yada by name, but he recognized her as the same girl who sat behind him in class. When the group stopped a few feet from them, she saw that he was looking at her, in which Yada looked away in shame. Edric raised an eyebrow by her sudden behavior and was to ask what was up with her, but then Ed interrupted him.
"Hello!" Ed greeted his classmates
"We want to try out an assassination attempt, so we wanted to tell you guys sooner, before we start it during lunch." Maehara told them.
"Alright!" Eddy's grumpy attitude switched to an excited one, before rubbing his head in a greedy way. "Let's hit him hard."
"But the thing is that, we need someone to water the class tulips." Megu tells them about the gardening duties. "Normally one of us would do it, but if one of you could do it, then we'd appreciate it."
The four boys stood there for a moment, before the Eds turned their heads to Edric. When he saw that they nominated him to do it, he got a little offended and annoyed as he glared at his friend with his dead fish eyes.
"Okay, just because I helped my mom with the garden doesn't mean I like it." Edric said.
"But your plants are so pretty…" Ed said. "…And tasty."
BLAM!
"You're the one that's been eating the pansies!? Bakayaro!" Edric kicked Ed in the head, sending him into the tree. He got in a lot of trouble every time they disappeared and now he knows that it's Ed's fault.
The student, minus Eddy and Double D, sweatdropped by their antics.
"Just do it alright?" Eddy told him. "Leave the EDsassination Plan with us and we'll take care of it, while you go and water the stupid plants."
Edric growled at him for a moment, hating he was volunteered by his friend to do something. But at least it was something he came to do with no trouble.
"Fine." He sighed before turning to the other students. "I'll do it. So where are the gardening tools?"
"I could show you where they are." Yada suddenly offered, surprising the dead fish-eyed boy and the rest.
'I thought she was scared of me?' He thought as he followed her. 'Why's she want to help me all of the sudden?'
(Storage shed)
A few seconds later, Yada led Edric to the storage shed. Then he proceeded by opening the door, before the two students entered, the only thing he saw inside was pitch black. Almost everywhere he looked beside the floor due to the sunlight.
"Oi, no lights?" He asked, noting that it was almost completely dark inside.
"There wasn't a light system installed here." Yada said, before lowering her head and began thinking, with an expression of guilt on her face.
"Doesn't matter. I'll find what I need." Edric then spotted the gardening supplies. He turned towards her, only to see the mature looking girl looking down sadly. "Oi. What's wrong?"
"…Listen, I just…I just want to say I'm very sorry." Yada apologized, looking up at him, catching Edric off guard.
"For what?" Edric asked, his eyebrow raised at her.
"For asking about your scar." That caused Edric's eyes to widen for a moment. No one has really said sorry to him like this before. "I let my curiosity get the better of me and ended up upsetting you. That was never my intention."
"It's alright, you didn't upset me." Edric sighed as he scratched the back of his head, confusing her.
"But you looked as though…" Yada tells him before he interrupts her.
"You were just curious, and didn't bother to pester me about it since. That's enough for me to know that you were being genuine." Edric said, smiling kindly at her. "Besides, it wasn't the question that had me upset. It just brought back some…"
His mind flashed back to show him an image of a man's silhouette standing over him with those crazy eyes of his. He tried to fight back but he overwhelmed him and blacked out a few moments later.
"…really bad memories." He finished, it still angered him to this day.
"Either way, I apologize for that." Yada said, smiling sadly at him. "I hope that we can become good friends and for there to be no bad blood between us."
"No harm done." Edric said, glad that there was a girl treating him so kindly than back home. "We should head back. Koro Sensei's going to be here soon."
"Right!" The two headed for the door, before Yada suddenly stopped, confusing Edric, before she turned to him with a brighter smile as she bowed to him. "I forgot to tell you my name, Tōka Yada, but you can call me Yada."
Edric gave his big goofy smile and returned the gesture.
"And I'm Edric, part of the Yorozura Eds."
The two flashed a smile at each other, before exiting the room.
(Lunch Period)
When lunch time came around, Edric was outside at the flowerbed on the side of the building. He was currently watering the last tulip.
"Alright, that's the last of it." He said, setting the watering can down to observe his work with a proud smile. However, he then spotted a big eyesore, which was in the form of a weed at the far left end of the flowerbed. "What the? A weed? Iie, Iie, Iie. Can't have that."
Edric turned towards a bag of gardening tools near his legs and pulled out of it a pair of gloves. Putting them on, he then got out a prong. Walking over to the weed, he began to dig out the weed, only to stop and be shocked when he saw that the plant didn't take any damage at all.
"Hmm…tenacious one, huh?" He walked back to the bag, only to come with a pair of hedge shears. He opened the shears and tried to cut the weed at the stem multiple times, only to be further shocked when he wasn't even cutting through it. To further his surprise, the gardening tool broke in two.
Edric looked at the audience with wide eyes, hoping they knew what happened.
(Meanwhile with Ed Edd n Eddy)
Meanwhile, in the forest, Ed Edd n Eddy and the five students were hiding amongst the trees and bushes, as they spied on Koro Sensei. The octopus was sitting on a red picnic blanket, shaving ice in a penguin-shaped ice shaver.
"Targeted locked, baby." Eddy said with glee.
"According to my calculations, he would usually go into the forest to eat. And today it seems as though he's snacking on ice from the North Pole." Double D explained to the five students.
"Do you think that ice really comes all the way from the friggin' North Pole?" Maehara asked.
"Why not? He hits up every other place on the map." Mimura tells him
"You think he saw Santa Claus?" Ed asked them.
"Focus." Isogai whispered. "Think of the money we're gonna split."
The other five nodded while the loudmouth Ed turned to the bishonen student.
"Just remember, you wanted one of our boys to do your job." Eddy said with a glare. "So we get half."
"Whatever." Okano said. "Let's do this."
And with that, Isogai, Megu, Maehara, Mimura, Okano, and Yada ran out from their cover and headed towards Koro Sensei.
"KORO SENSEI!"
The teacher turned his attention to the students, as they smiled widely and giggled and laughed as they approached him.
"I hope you brought enough shaved ice for all of us!?" Isogai asked him if they could join.
"Oh! Are the children opening their hearts to me at last?" Koro Sensei asked out of pure joy. The sight of his students coming to him was enough to bring tears coming out of his eyes. "Such beaming smiles…"
The six students suddenly pulled out their knives from their sheaths equipped to the back of their hips, and jumped at Koro Sensei, prepared to kill him, while still smiling and laughing.
"Such little savages!"
WHOOSH!
He speeded away and caused a dust cloud, making the students land and stab the ground. The dust cloud caused them to cough, as well as not being able to see through it, but when it cleared, they saw that their target was gone.
"Not the worst acting you've tried but your smiles were a bit forced. I wasn't born yesterday, boys and girls." Koro Sensei said from behind them, making them gasp.
Then he dropped a white blanket that had something in it. When it hit the ground, it opened up to reveal the knives they had. The sight of their weapons on the forest floor surprised them and made the students look down at their hands, only to be more shocked to see that they were instead holding flowers in their hands.
"Now put away these silly Anti-Me knives and take a moment to stop and smell, if not roses, then these lovely specimens."
The Eds poked their heads out of the bushes when they saw the attempt fail.
"Man, he's good." Eddy commented, eyes widened.
However, Kataoka stared at the flower in her hands, and she started to recognize it.
"Hm?"
"OH MY GOD!"
That 'OH MY GOD' yell caused the students, the Eds, and teacher to look in the direction of the school.
"Edric is here, guys!" Ed exclaimed.
Back at the school's flower bed, Edric stared in horror at the sight of all the tulips being gone. All cut down and nowhere to be seen.
"What the HELL! How-When… AH! I only looked away for a second and this is what happened!?" He yelled, grabbing the sides of his head while sweating down his face in panic. He turned to the weed, which was the only thing still in the flowerbed, and angrily pointed at it with Lake Kiryu. "You did this, didn't you?"
Dramatic close-up of the weed.
"What's with the freaking-out, huh?" Eddy said from behind him, making Edric turn away to see friends, the six other students, and Koro Sensei standing there. He started to freak out when the students looked at the flowerbed and were shocked to see they were gone.
"Oi! It's not what it looks like!" Edric quickly exclaimed, waving his hands in front of him. "I'd watered the plants and there was this freaking weed and I tried to kill it and…!"
"Are these from the flowerbed!?" Kataoka pointed to the flower in her hand as she yelled at Koro Sensei . "For your information sir, we grew these 'lovely specimens' from seeds!"
"Nya UAA!" He shrieked. Now it was Koro Sensei's turn to freak-out. "No kidding?!"
"Hah?" Edric looked at them in confusion.
"Koro Sensei murder the tulips to make his students feel better about failing to kill him." Ed said.
"Oh." Edric then sighed that it was the octopus's fault.
"Why would you do something so mean?" Yada asked as she and Okano were brought to tears. "We'd been waiting for them to bloom for months, and now they're..."
"I'm so sorry! Forgive me, children! Allow me to uh…" Koro Sensei panics, wiggling his arms up and down and shuffling left and right while sweating bullets. He speeded away, before coming back with an arm full of tulip seeds. "Get you fresh bulbs!"
That made almost everyone sweat drop anime style.
Edric stood by his friends as they watched Koro Sensei get on his 'knees' and started planting the tulips into the flowerbed, while Megu and Okano drilled him on how to properly plant the seeds.
"Don't plant them at Mach 20!"
"No, of course not."
"Tulips need a delicate touch!"
"Delicate. Got it."
"Stop trying to impress us!"
"Drain the soil properly!"
"One step at the time!"
"Well, it seems as though our target is very keen on keeping his students happy." Double D said, as the Eds and Eric watched him.
"The sight of a crying girl can do that to ya." Edric said, crossing his arms.
"Hey guys!"
Nagisa's familiar voice called out to them, making the Eds look in the direction to see the blue-haired boy poking his head from around the corner of the building, gesturing with his arm for them to come to him. They looked at one another and shrugged, seeing that they had nothing better to do, and then walked over to Nagisa. When they got around the corner, they saw Nagisa with Kayano standing next to him.
"Hey, guys!" She greeted them with a smile.
"Hello." Ed said.
"So what's this about, huh?" Eddy demanded, already a little angered by the failed EDsassination attempt.
"Be nice, Eddy." Double D scolded him, before smiling at the two Japanese students. "How may we be of assistance, you two?"
"Well, I want to add something more that'll help with the EDsassination Plan." Nagisa smiled as pulled out a small notebook. "It's a running list of all the chinks in Koro Sensei's armor. I thought that we could use them and other hints in our plans to assassinate him."
"Oh! Oh! Can I see?" Ed jumped happily, hoping Nagisa would let him see it. But then Eddy shoved his hand in his face, pushing him away as he reached and grabbed the notebook from Nagisa.
"Thank you." Eddy quickly opened it and started flipping through the page with chuckling grinning. However, his grin turned to a look of confusion when he only saw one thing written on one page. The weakness was written in Japanese, but had an English translation at the bottom. "'Koro Sensei's Weak Point #1: When he shows off, things get shaky'."
"Reminds you of anyone?" Edric asked mockingly with a grin on his face, getting a glare from Eddy.
"Is that kind of thing really a weakness?" Kayano even agreed.
"I'll take that, thank you." Double D took the notebook from Eddy and gave it back to Nagisa "It's not much to go on, but it'll definitely be a great asset. But in the long run, it gives us ideas for more elusive and outside-the-box assassination plans."
(4th Wallbreak)
"This really isn't like anything we, the Eds, had dealt with in the past. Most of what we did together was scam kids and ended up causing trouble at school. And in none of those time had we had to commit murder. Then again, it's kind of why I also hung out with them. Even though we did the same thing every day, there was never a day that felt dull."
Edric looks back at the readers, before looking at the view of the main school building.
"And now we're in E-Class, a place for outcasts. The exceptions. Maybe that is why we felt at home here."
(Kunugigaoka Junior High: Main Building - Board Chairman's Office)
Karasuma was currently in the principal's office in the main building of the school, talking to the man himself with an assistant at his side. The wide room which was mostly empty, with the lights off and only the windows to let in the outside light shine. The principal was sitting at his large wooden desk, with the back of his chair facing Karasuma, as he stared out the window.
"The Ministry of Defense appreciates your cooperation." Karasuma said. "My being brought in as the new PE teacher of Class 3-E is unorthodox, we realize. But, necessary. I'll be there chiefly to observe, and to offer the students tactical advice. My teaching certificate is still valid, so that's something."
"You have my blessings, sir." The Chairman spoke without even turning to him. "Just see to it that their education and safety come first."
"…Thank you for your time, principal." Karasuma said, before turning around and he and his assistant exited the room.
"I figured we'd meet with more resistance." His assistant commented, as the two of them walked down the hallway.
"Hmph. He's being compensated handsomely for his trouble. All this seems rather convenient if you ask me. A creature with god-like powers, untouchable, beyond the reach of the military, who wants to teach." Karasuma explained. He stopped for a moment and stared out of one of the many windows on his left. "Thankfully we've kept it a secret. The principal is involved and the E-Class students. But as far as we can tell, no other civilians have a clue."
"I'm gonna die. This is the end of the world, man."
The voice caught Karasuma's attention. Turning his head to the right, he spotted two students walking past him. With the chubbier student freaking out with the score he has.
"For you." Said the other student, one that was taller and wore glasses. "Stop screwing around and get those grades up, man. Have you seen the satellite campus?! It's a nightmare. No cafeteria, no food, bathrooms look like something out of a horror movie, the kids are psychos, the teachers fear for their lives. Once you're there, you're basically done. Colleges wouldn't touch your transcript with a 10 foot pole."
"I know, I know. Dude, whatever keeps me out of E-Class, I'll do it!"
(Teach us, Kunudon!)
"Surprise!"
Out of nowhere, there was a weird chestnut with two dotted eyes and a mouth with arms and legs.
"Hooray, it's Kunudon!" Random kids cheered.
"Hello Kiddos! That's correct! It's Kunudon, your school mascot!" Kunudon said as he spread his arms out. "I'm gonna be telling you all about the sorts of super amazing things we do here at Kunugigaoka Academy!"
"Yaaay!"
Then he showed off a block model of a main building and the E-class building. He spinned all around the models
"I bet you already know that we make the learning fun, but I bet you didn't know we're one of the top-ranked schools in the country!" Kunudon said, bringing his hands together as he stopped.
"Wow! That's amazing!"
That's because we emphasize teamwork and equality!" Kunodon said, knocking down the E-Class model with his face darkened as he smiled.
"Hooray! Equality!"
BLAM!
Then suddenly, the background ripped off as Edric came out and knocked the chestnut back with Lake Kiryu. His eyes were white in rage as he looked at Kunudon, panicking and backing away from his unbridled and comedic fury.
"EQUALITY, MY ASS!" Edric shouted, starling the chestnut even more. "That's bad advertising and you need to get off your high horse cause the Yoyozura Eds are about to kick your sorry elite ass!"
Before Edric could punish Kunudon more, Ed and Double D came in and held him while Eddy laid on his lounge chair, drinking his soda.
"Edric, control yourself. You're gonna break the 4th wall more than you had." Double D said as he turned to Eddy. "Eddy, if you please?"
"Ugh. Fine." Eddy mumbled, seeing that the fun's over as he moved his left arm to the right screen and pulled back the next scene.
"Time-tested strategy." Karasuma said, watching the two students walk away. "Single out a group as undesirable and the rest will fall in line to avoid being one of them. Social engineering at its finest. Very effective. Make our job a little easier than it might be otherwise. Say what you will, E-Class is ideal for our purposes. Remote. Secluded. Full of teenage ticking time-bombs."
However, he also thought about how unbearable it must be for the students in the small building to live under the school system. Discrimination at its finest, one of the cruel things the world could do. Which led to many problems and conflicts throughout history.
(E-Class Building)
Karasuma was now walking up the mountain towards the old school building with a certain item in his hands wrapped in cloth. When he approached the entrance, Kayano ran out of the building carrying an arm full of long bamboo sticks. She stopped and jogged in place when she saw him coming.
"Hey, Karasuma-san! What are you doing here?" She asked with a smile.
"New job assignment." He responded, stopping in front of her. "As of tomorrow, I join the faculty as a PE teacher."
"Oh, that sounds cool." Kayano commented
"It should be fun, yes." He said.
"Then I will call you Karasuma sensei from now on!" Kaede cheered. Karasuma looked around with curiosity, trying to find the other students and their teacher.
"So where exactly is your target now?" He asked her, just when Eddy suddenly jumped out the building's entrance doorway with Ed running behind him with an armful of Anti-Sensei knives.
"I'll just thank two of those." Eddy slipped two bamboo sticks out of Kaede's grip, before running towards the right side of the old building. "Come, Ed! I don't want to miss the party!"
"I love parties!" Ed exclaimed.
"What's with them?" Karasuma asked as he watched the two Eds run off in confusion.
"Oh, Koro Sensei messed up the tulips we planted, so he's apologizing by reducing his speed and letting us all try and take whacks at him." Kayano responded.
The two arrived at a tall tree to see Koro Sensei tied to a rope around his midsection, hanging from the tree, and was swinging back and forth while a couple of students were under him, trying to shoot or stab him with makeshift spears that were made from their knives and the bamboo.
"Isn't he totally the coolest teacher ever or what?!" Kayano exclaimed, as Karasuma just stared with bits of sweat on his face.
"A few more minutes of this and all is forgiven, right?" Koro Sensei asked with his green stripes showing, continuing to swing at a highly fast rate. "You're a very lucky class I have you know. Not many teachers would put themselves in this position."
"Yeah! And this is what your decision will lead to, Octo-head!" Eddy exclaimed after he finished making two spears and grabbed them. With a spear in both hands, he grinned and charged and started swinging both weapons up at him. "Prepare to meet your doom!"
Further back from the group of students, Edric was shooting at Koro Sensei with an air rifle, Ed was smiling at the scene, and Double D and Nagisa were just staring at it all with unsure expressions. Kayano approached them with beady white eyes.
"So…uh…any luck yet?" She asked.
"Uh…no." Nagisa responded.
"This is all fun and games to him." Double D said with a sigh.
"This is not what the Ministry of Defense has in mind." Karasuma said with a twitching eyebrow.
"Wait, hang on a minute." Nagisa pulled out his notebook, as Edric joined them after running out of ammo. "There's bound to be a corresponding weakness."
"Oh, Edric." Karasuma calls out to him, Edric turns to his new PE teacher as he shows him the item in hands before unwrapping it, revealing a green bokuto just like his Lake Kiryu. "Our scientist was able to create this sword based on your wooden sword with the same materials as you requested."
"Oh that's great, thanks." Edric takes the sword off of Karasuma's hands and admires it in his own hands. The sword fell rubbery like the knives but more dense and can take a good swing. He puts it where his Lake Kiryu is and hangs it by his waist.
"Nur Fufufufufufu." Koro Sensei laughed in delight. "Shoot and stab all you want, class. Even with this handicap, I'm too fast for you."
Eddy stopped swinging at him out of exhaustion. Growling in frustration and anger, he turned to look back at where his friends were.
"Ed! Get him down!" He commanded with a point of a finger.
"I'll get him, Eddy!" Ed responded with a wave. He then spotted a rock lying next to him and picked it up.
"Have you learned nothing from our first meeting, Eddy?" Koro Sensei asked, as Ed brought his arm back. "Only in your wildest dreams would you have any hope of getting the deed done-!"
CRASH!
He didn't finish the question when the strong Ed boy threw the rock at the branch Koro Sensei was hanging from, breaking through the wood like a bullet would.
This shocked Koro Sensei and everyone else except the Eds. The teacher fell to the ground and laid on his side, as the students stared at him, trying to fully understand how Ed was able to perform such a thing. However, reality set in, as Koro Sensei started to get nervous. He was on the ground, in the middle of junior high kids wanting to kill him.
All tied up…
"KILL HIM!"
"NYUAAAA!" Koro Sensei screamed in panic and fear, as his students started to chase after him with murderous intent, making him try and roll away from the knives and BB's coming at him. "Wait! Wait! Wait! This wasn't part of the deal! Easy! Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap!"
"Nice throw there, lumpy." Edric said, patting Ed on the back. "Looks like you've brought out another weakness for Koro Sensei."
"Right!" Nagisa quickly wrote something down in the notebook. "That's why I'm jotting it down."
"Wait a…Hold on!" Koro Sensei exclaimed, as the students and Eddy continued to try and kill him. He attempted to break free of the ropes, but panicked when he felt his tentacles were stuck in the ropes. "My tentacles are all tangled up in the rope! This isn't what I had in mind!"
Koro Sensei's Weak Point #2: Freaks out easily.
"Stop it! Stop it, all of you! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!" Koro Sensei was able to break free and jumped out of the crowd of kids. Flying high into the air, he landed on the roof of the old building.
"Get back down here, asshole!" Eddy demanded with a shaking fist.
"HAHA!" Koro Sensei turned to face them as he taunted them. "What the matter, children? Can't jump this high? Oh wait, of course not."
He then started laughing high and mighty at them. The students look up at him with such frustration upon their teacher's quick escape from their clutches.
"Ah man! We were so close!" Kimura, a male student with brownish green hair and black eyes, growled.
"Not to worry, guys!" Ed said, before grabbing Edric by his neck, choking him a bit. The Ed boy then grabbed his legs also and began to stretch. Making some of the students cringe at the painful site.
"Ed?" Double D asked warily.
"The sky limit!" Ed held up a straightened out Edric, who was now as stiff as a board and straight as a pencil.
"Oi, Ed." Edric said, starting to become very worried about what his friend was about to do. "What're you doing?"
The taller Ed then posed as if he was going to throw a spear, using his thumb to aim at Koro Sensei, who stopped laughing when he saw what Ed was doing. Edric's eyes widened as he realized it too.
"Oh my god, you're going to do it, aren't you!" Edric shouted in panic.
"Talley Ho!" Ed exclaimed, and threw Edric at Koro Sensei, making the scar teen scream on his trip to the teacher.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as he neared the yellow octopus.
Suddenly, Koro Sensei was on the ground again, holding Edric in his arms as he continued to scream. He opened his red eyes and saw that he wasn't flying anymore. Coming to a slow stop, Edric opened his other eye and saw that he was being carried by Koro Sensei.
"…aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh…"
"Hah… hah… hah…" Koro Sensei panted as he set Edric on his feet, before sighing in relief and swiping the sweat on his face. "Guess who's earned themselves extra homework."
"NO FAIR!"
Koro Sensei's Weak Point #3: No Tolerance.
"Nyahahahaha!"
He then flew away before any of them could make a jump on him.
"Where's he going?" Mimura asked, as Ed's eyes started to fill up with tears.
"He's too smart for us, Eddy!" He cried, before grabbing Edric by the legs and using him as a tissue. Blowing his nose on him, Ed covered the poor teen in his snout. "We will never catch him!"
Ed dropped Edric on the ground with a loud thud, with Edric trembling in disgust. Eddy couldn't help but chuckle at his friend's misfortune, while the black-haired teen stood back up on shaky legs.
"Now, now, Ed. This isn't the time to be depressed." Double D said as he approached them, making the other's look at him. "In fact, I say that it's best to celebrate this moment!"
"Celebrate? Celebrate what!?" Eddy demanded. "We couldn't even touch him!"
"But we almost did, Eddy." Double D pointed out. "While I'm sure even if Ed hadn't thrown that rock and broken the branch, Koro Sensei's momentum would have been too much for the branch to handle, and thus making him fall. And when he did, with his tentacles tangled up, he was barely able to escape all of your attacks. In fact, I'd say that this is the closest we've gotten to accomplish our goal!"
"He's right!" Megu said to them with enthusiasm and excitement. "We're getting closer to a solution. I can feel it!"
"Keep this up and it's only a matter of time before we got him!" Isogai said with a grin, This brought out a cheer from the other students, including Eddy and Ed.
Edric stood a little bit away for them in the background, wiping off the last of the snot off himself. He then looked up and saw how happy they were, with some cheering and others planning the next attempt.
"This is without a doubt the strangest adventure we've ever had, and the strangest class ever." He grinned.
"So boys!" Eddy slides out of nowhere and places his right arm around Nagisa's left shoulder, and then his left arm around Edric's right shoulder, before bringing the two close to him. "I'd say that our chances are looking good!"
"Oh yeah, no doubt." Nagisa said with a smile, feeling a little uncomfortable with how close to Eddy his face was. "Least I hope so, or it's gonna be a really awkward graduation ceremony."
Suddenly Ed grabbed all three of them in a hug and twirled around. Unintentionally crushing the boys in with his glee.
"Oh boy oh boy, I forget what we're doing!" Ed shouted with glee.
Then Ed dropped them down, which Eddy got mad about and started chasing after Ed, who ran away laughing. Edric sat on the ground and stared at them.
(4th Wallbreak)
"It's funny, really. The system of this school has given up on E-Class." Edric stated to the readers. "And I have no doubt that this school would have had us separated. Ed would have been given no mercy and be sent straight here. But here, instead of the gloom and doom that we saw when we first came to E-Class, there's so bright and cheerful that I couldn't believe it. The Yorozuya Eds are more full of purpose than before. I can only hope that the future brings more of this."
(Ministry of Defense)
Meanwhile at the Ministry of Defense, two government officials stood before a student in a Kunugigaoka junior high uniform as they were filling him in on the situation they're having.
"As you can see, our situation is a desperate one. Needless to say, this information is shared in the strictest confidence." The female official explains before telling the said student the consequences. "Break the non-disclosure clause and you'll be subject to a memory wipe."
"Yikes." The Student said as he was looking at the document about Koro Sensei and other necessary details about the octopus.
"Your fellow classmates are already debriefed. They've done their best, but so far to no effect. Once your suspension is ended, you'll be reported to E-Class and access the situation. From there, you are authorized to proceed as you see fit." She tells him.
"Whatever." The student shrugs it off as he drops the document on the couch with a Anti-Sensei knife in his other hand and checks it out. "You expect me to take him down with this? Seriously?"
"Correct. That knife, while harmless to humans, is designed specifically with your target in mind." She explained.
"Huh. Human. Non-human. It doesn't matter to me." He said, he stabs the documents next to him with the knife and lifts it up along with the said document. He drops it as the paper flipped over revealing the picture of Koro Sensei being stabbed by the knife. Showing that he's looking forward to the moment to come. "Either way, I'm good. Should be a lot of fun. I've always wanted to kill me a teacher."
His face is shown to have pale skin, short red hair, and pale sharp eyes that appear as either mercury or goldish in color. Behind his usual innocent-looking, smiling face hides a torturous and rather sadistic personality.
(Cue Silver by RIZE)
{Instrument}
(The scene showed the crescent moon as it zoomed out before it glitched showing Koro Sensei's face in its place. Lake Kiryu was showed as it panned up, Anti-Sensei rifle panning to the left, Anti-Sensei gun spun across the screen, and the EDsasssination Plan Journal panned downward. Back to the moon as glitched again, revealing the E-Class building.)
{Sora o koe yama o koe minato e touhon seisou asa kara ban made}
'Past the sky, over the mountains, city-bound on the go from morning until the night.'
{Toki o kakenukeru ima na o nokose miraieigou sekai no hate made}
'Running through time, leaving our names in this moment.'
(Edric was in a red black-lined shirt and a black yukata with red flames on the bottom holding Lake Kiryu while Yada stood next to him, wearing a blue yukata with floral design. Then Edric is shown in white silhouette, practicing with his sword by the E-Class building while the sun rises and sets. Eddy wore a white millionaire suit counting his money with Nakamura in an elegant dress having a drink. The Eds in whote silhouette were walking home passing by Kunugigaoka Junior High.)
{Wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi Tataka waneba soko de owaru}
'Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! If we don't fight, it all ends right here!'
{Wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi Mamoru yatsu ga iru hana ga chiru toki hana wa mau}
'Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! There's something we have to protect, the flowers dance while they fall.'
(The scene split horizontally as Edric appeared on top, then Eddy, Double D, finally Ed. Double D and Okuda are in lab coats as they work with some chemicals. The scene split vertically as Ed appeared, then Double D, Eddy, and Edric. Ed was in his monster costume as he rampaged on a city set while Fuwa recorded it on her phone. Changes to night as the moonlight shows a daisy sprouting from the ground.)
{Ah daiji na mono ga aru Ah Ah kawaranai mono ga aru}
'Ah, I have something important. Ah ah, I have something that doesn't change.'
Yeah! Yeah!
{kimi to ikiru koto kimi o mamoru yo}
I'll live on with you, I'll protect you.
I'm here to fight for you…Today!
(Nagisa was in a dress, much to his chagrin, while Kayano was trying out girly accessories on him as the scene zoomed out. E-Class does their regular shooting on Koro Sensei as he dodges them on Mach 20. Koro Sensei flew across the ocean before he sped up close to the screen as he gave his signature laughter.)
{Bakurai sairai kendo juurai}
'The bombs going off again, let's try twice as hard again'
{Bakurai sairai kendo juurai}
'The bombs going off again, let's try twice as hard again'
(The scene goes back to Lake Kiryu panning down as the Anti-Sensei rifle appeared and intersecting it. The spinning Anti-Sensei Gun and the Edsassination Journal appeared as they intersect the two. Then they stopped at each corner as the title appeared in the middle.)
Next Time: EDsassination #4 - The ED's Bad Case of Karma