Okay, finally up to number three. I think I'm doing pretty well with the whole "timely update" thing. School's starting back up for me pretty soon… so I'll try to keep it up, but I can't really make any promises. It took me awhile to decide if this was really the way I wanted to go with this chapter, so I'd really, really appreciate any input regarding this. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: She Knows Best + Teen Titans equals (for some reason I can't put the equal sign here...) -Three Lifetimes Worth of Savings. It's not happening people.

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Chapter Three - Just a Heartache

Raven and Beast Boy sat on an olive green couch in the shape shifter's room. It had been put in as seating for the Gamestation 3100 that he'd gotten from Cyborg the Christmas before. He rested with his head in Raven's lap while she sat up, staring blankly at the television in front of her.

"So how did you get the name Raven?" He asked nonchalantly, looking at her from the corner of his eye as he idly played with her hand.

"Well, the monks gave me that name, and I guess my mother just decided that it sounded like something that would stick. I know that here, ravens have a history of being supernatural, dark, unclean, evil… things like that, but there's an old Azar tale about a raven overcoming all the obstacles in its life, like the unkind nature it was born with, to triumph over evil. I think they were hoping that if I had the name, I would follow the story." She smiled absently, her eyes somewhat out of focus. "I guess that they got lucky."

"No way, Raven. That had nothing to do with your name. You worked your butt off to make sure that Trigon couldn't take over the planet. I mean, yeah, it took some convincing, but you did it in the end."

Beast Boy smiled up at her. She blinked a couple of times before leaving her memories and coming back to the present. She stroked his tangled hair, attempting to comb it out with her fingers, and smiled at him affectionately.

"Yeah, well let's just say that I had some pretty good help."

They were silent for a couple of seconds, smiling at each other, before Raven started speaking again.

"So what about you? What's the first name of the ever popular Beast Boy?" She teased gently. He smiled in return, puffing out his chest from his spot below her.

"Garfield." He answered simply, his chest deflating considerably. "Kinda wimpy, huh? I guess my parents were hoping that if they named me something wimpy, I wouldn't get into any trouble." He chuckled a little. "Boy, were they wrong."

"Garfield." Raven tested the name on her tongue. He looked up at her again. He liked the way his name seemed to naturally flow from her lips. "I remember Elasti-Girl calling you that, back when we first fought the Brotherhood of Evil. It sure is a long way from Beast Boy."

He smiled, "yeah, you're telling me."

A couple more seconds of silence ensued as the two noticed a commercial for the Titans action figures on TV. They had just started marketing merchandise of the new teens practicing to protect the Jump City of tomorrow. Raven watched rather comically as the stuffed versions of themselves flashed across the screen in varying degrees of overly bright, mind-numbing colors.

"Hey, you know how you were thinking about changing your alias from Beast Boy to the Changeling?" She asked, turning away from the huge, stuffed Beast Boy dominating the television screen to look at him. He looked up, nodding absently.

"Well, I think it's a good idea."

He smiled widely.

"I was looking up the definition of changeling and got something like 'an individual of deficient intelligence.' Thought it would suit you well."

He merely sweat dropped.

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Even in my wildest dreams I could never imagine us… seriously… again.

Raven placed the most ridiculous looking orange flower in her hair, examining the way it contrasted with the purple tone of her mane. She felt… empty.

I doubt that you could either. It just… it was never supposed to be with us. It's just that way with some people.

She stared in the mirror, observing the planes of her face, the laugh lines she had gained over the years, the hard way her face transformed when she forced herself to look indifferent. She was practicing again. Azar, it had been so long since she had felt debilitated by her need to keep from revealing her emotions.

Most of the great love stories are that way. Romeo and Juliet… Tristan and Isolde… sure, it wasn't meant to be for them, but that's not to say that their feelings weren't real. That they were only imagining the satisfaction they felt in each other's company. That I only imagined…

She sighed as she turned away from the mirror, fighting the urge to break into tears again. She closed her eyes tightly and gently repeated her three-word mantra, hoping to calm herself enough to control her emotions.

She was stronger than this. She was the product of a demon and a human going through a rebellious stage in life. She had witnessed pain and suffering. She had caused it. She had felt it. She had dealt with feelings of this nature before. If only she could contain them and somehow shrink them… somehow make them more manageable, she would find some way to survive the rest of the evening.

How had it come to this? How was she supposed to go through the rest of her life without his smile? Without his voice? His stupid, horrible, lame jokes and his stupid, horrible, lame cooking? Without his arguments on the evil held within the consumption of meat? Without his ridiculous amount of competitiveness?

Most of the great tragic love stories are that way… I don't want us to be another tragic love story. I just… I wish I could know that this was really for the better. You'll be alive, somewhere, happy, somehow. You'll still smell the same way I've always remembered you smelling. You'll still smile the way I've always remembered you smiling, with those stupid little fangs of yours. You won't need me there… not anymore.

A tear fell from Raven's eye and the mirror on the vanity swirled with a black energy before cracking. She reigned in her emotions again with a sharp inhaled breath and looked up at her reflection.

It was fitting, that a cracked mirror should be what greeted her on the day of Beast Boy's wedding. The many pieces of Raven, stuck together at last, but not looking quite right. Some pieces out of proportion, some too big, some too small, all too lost. Like something of hers was inexplicably missing. That was how she felt at the moment. It was fitting that the mirror would recognize that.

When she had first seen him earlier, a little part of her had lost it. She had prepared herself, meditating in the room she now stood in, calming herself, practicing that ever famous look of neutrality that she had perfected over the years. She had reminded herself that it didn't matter what she wanted. She reminded herself that today wasn't about them or their past, but rather him and his future. She took an old printout of the two of them from her cloak and watched as she let her powers tear it to pieces. But when she had seen him, standing there with that familiar awestruck look directed right at her… she had just been so happy to see him, and so incredibly terrified. She had been heartbroken. She had been anxious. She had been a whole mix of things.

How was it that after five years, he could still do that to her? She had spent so much time after leaving thinking about him. She had written him a countless number of letters, but only gathered the nerve to send out four or five. She called once, but a woman had answered the phone and she had lost her nerve. The next time she called, no one answered and she left a shaky message on his machine.

"Beast Boy… I've been trying to get a hold of you for awhile. I don't know if you just don't want to talk to me again or anything… I just wanted to see how you were doing. Starfire tells me that the new teens are doing pretty well, but I guess you can never really beat the original. I hear you're still living with everyone in the Tower. I really… I miss you. Call me back sometime. You know where to reach me."

She slammed her hands against the vanity as another wave of tears hit her. She had worked so hard throughout her life to make sure that she was never this… pathetic. She had worked so hard to control the way she expressed her feelings, but all she needed were a couple of words and memories, and she was suddenly breaking down like her wounds were freshly made. It wasn't fair. It was absolutely ridiculous.

There was a light knock on her door.

"Friend Raven," Starfire said cautiously as she started to open the door. Raven turned frantically and shot a wave of energy to keep it closed.

"Hey Star… I'm… changing right now." She called as she quickly wiped her face and took a deep, albeit shaky, breath.

"Oh…" Starfire answered slowly. "You know that if you are ever in need of me, I'm here to listen."

Raven squeezed her eyes shut and wiped at them. She let go of her hold on the door.

"Star…" she said softly.

After Raven left the tower, she had tried to keep in touch with the Titans. Robin had always been so busy, working on this lead or that criminal pattern, that it had been hard for Raven to talk to him regularly. Cyborg had just started seeing Bumblebee, so it was hard for her to find a moment when he was alone to catch up. Although they all expressed a want to, Starfire was the only Titan to make time for Raven, and the two had grown closer over their time apart. As for Beast Boy… well, he was another story entirely.

The Tameranian girl opened the door, then closed it behind her. She turned around, walked up to Raven and engulfed her in a hug, no questions asked. Raven buried her head in her friend's shoulder and let herself cry.

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"Gar… I know that this is going to sound weird but… is it okay if I… if I sleep in your room tonight?" Raven asked, suddenly flushing and biting her bottom lip, but keeping her shoulders back. "I mean, that movie just kind of scared me, and I don't want to have to sleep alone."

She paused to review her words, then quickly added, "I mean, not that we have to sleep in the same bed or anything. I just mean that it would be nice if I could be in the same room as someone else, you know?"

Beast Boy smiled and let her in without a word.

"You know Rae, I've been waiting for you to just jump me already. I know, I know 'but Beast Boy, you're just way too hard to resist,' don't worry babe, I get that a lot." He said cockily as he walked towards his bed. She glared at him then scoffed.

"You wish." She said simply, but, damn it, she was blushing again. She hadn't thought about how… intimate… her request would make them. They had shared some passionate kisses, but hadn't gone much further, and she had certainly never seen him wearing anything less than his crime fighting costume before. Yet there he was, positively strutting with his over inflated ego, wearing nothing but a pair of purple basketball shorts.

He turned to look at her. She was so cute when she was flustered, and lately she had been more jittery than he could ever remember her being. Every little touch made her jump, and he had caught her zoning out with this crazy dazed look on her face more than once in the past few weeks. When he would wave her back into focus she would jump as though he knew something about her she didn't want him to, then just mumble and bury her nose into a novel of some sort.

He had never seen her this late at night before, despite the fact that they were both over the age of 20 and had been dating for just over a year. She was just too damn cute in her red and green plaid night pants and simple white top. She had her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, the mess making her look more human - more on his level. She sat on his couch and he moved to perch himself next to her.

"I promise to keep you safe, Rae. Tonight and every night you ever need protecting, you know who to call." He said affectionately as he slung an arm over her shoulders. She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"The Ghost Busters?"

"No! Me!" He answered indignantly. She smiled at him and cuddled into his side.

"Garfield?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

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"Maybe… maybe I should just leave now," Raven said pathetically as she wiped her eyes with a tissue Starfire had given her.

"If you leave now, people will notice the missing maid of the bride," Starfire pointed out, leaning forward on her arms. "Perhaps if you stay long enough for the ceremony?"

"I… I don't know if I can do it. If I can actually stand there and watch him marry another woman." Raven answered, staring at the floor as she had with Beast Boy. She looked up to Starfire, her eyes brimming with tears once more.

"I still love him," she whispered. "I want to be happy for him, I really do… I guess I've never really gotten over… anything, really. I tried to talk to him so many times… I tried so hard to… I don't know, Star."

"Perhaps…. Perhaps it is better that you stay for the ceremony. Perhaps it will help you to do the moving on?" Starfire suggested. Raven looked away again as another round of tears struggled free, but she took a steadying breath and nodded.

"Yeah, maybe it would be for the best."

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So, how was that? Was the switching between past and present too confusing? I hope not. I thought that juxtaposing (like that? I learned it in way back in my high school AP Lit class) the past and present events would make the current feelings of Raven more understandable. She used to get a lot of comfort from our green protagonist, but now he's offering it all to someone else, leading to many conflicting emotions from the empath.

As always, comments are greatly appreciated and questions are welcome. If you hate this story I encourage you to let me know constructively. I could always use the better writing tips :).

Thanks for reading, guys!