EDsassination #7: Time for the ED Test
(Nakamura Household)
The sun shines into the room of Rio Nakamura as her alarm goes off, Nakamura groans in her bed with most of her head under the blankets. The blonde reached her arm out from under them and hit the clock as it turned off. After that, she threw the covers off and got out of bed. Walking to the door and opening it, before closing it. Moments later, she finished her morning routine and entered the kitchen. Now dressed in her school uniform, she goes to a cabinet and opens it. Pulled out a box of cereal and a boil, Rio placed them on the table and went to the refrigerator to grab some milk.
But when she opened it, she was shocked at what she found and screamed before slamming the fridge shut.
The fridge was opened again minutes later by Nakamura, who looked at what was in it sternly. Behind her were Double D, Eddy, and Edric. The smart Ed-boy was carrying a tray that had a bowl of cereal, a glass of milk, and a half orange. The short Ed-boy was carrying a uniform. Edric yawned from getting up this early in the morning and picked his nose. She looked over her shoulder at the friends and used a hand to indicate the inside of the fridge.
"Could one of you please explain this." She asked them.
In her fridge was none other than Ed in his tank top and underwear, sleeping. His body was fitted crookedly, and there was barely any food in the fridge. The foods that were in it were nearly half-eaten and splattered everywhere.
"Sleepwalking again?" Edric complained, as Eddy saw this and immediately laughed at Ed.
"Don't worry, Miss Nakamura." Double D said, handing her the tray of food, as Edric went to the fridge to pull their friend out. "We'll have Ed vacated ASAP."
"This has happened before?" She stared at the two boys while standing next to Eddy.
"Oh, you have no idea! Back home, he'd scarfed every fridge in sight! He was like a beached whale!" Eddy laughed. This got Nakamura to giggle a little, finding it as funny as the Ed-boy.
Edric was finally able to pry Ed's body out of the fridge. He then held him up by the shoulder straps of his tank top.
"Ed? Oh, Ed?" Edric shook him.
Well, that didn't work. Edric reached over and put his hand into Double D's pocket, knowing he had everything for every occasion. At First Double D was confused, but then Edric pulled out a megaphone. He puts it in front of his mouth.
"WAKE UP, BAKA YARO!" He yelled into the device, so when it came out of the other end, it was powerful enough to blow wind into Ed's face, causing it to stretch back. But it was enough to wake Ed up. When he saw his friends, the simpleton smiled.
"Hi, guys!" He said. "My ears are ringing."
"Ed, do you remember anything from last night?" Double D asked. "Like the fact that you consumed everything in Miss Nakamura's fridge."
"Not only that, but I feel as though I have consumed everything in Rio's fridge." Ed said as dEric let him go and the strong Ed-boy tried to stand. He then noticed Rio eating the cereal given to her. "Hi, Rio!"
"Come, we're going to be late for school." Eddy said before throwing Ed's uniform to him and starting walking to the door.
"I'm coming, Eddy!" Ed followed him, still in his underwear and a tank top, passing by Rio as she finished her breakfast.
"Ed! You didn't even brush your teeth!" Double D called out, running to catch up with his friends.
"At least he didn't try to eat anyone." Edric grumbled as he followed. When Nakamura heard that, her eyes widened and placed the tray of food on the counter and grabbed her backpack.
"He can do that?" She asked, following them out of her house and heading off to school.
(Cue Tougenkyou Alien by serial TV Drama)
(Instrumental)
(Then scene pans at the city of Tokyo, Japan. Edric walked in facing backwards as he turned around and gave a biggest goofiest smile. The scene changed to Kunugigaoka Junior High as pans away. Eddy and Ed came next as the two did the same thing as Edric. Then changed to the E-Class building in the mountain as it zooms closer. Double D came last as he gave his smile. The scene zooms to the classroom, in which no one was there except Koro Sensei with his arms wiggling about and giving his signature smile as the title appeared.)
Ed Edd Eddy n Edric: The EDsassination Classroom
{Sunda hitomi ga yobisamasu wasurekaketeta seigikan seigikan}
'My dead eyes are woken up by the sense of justice, a sense of justice I had forgotten.
{sui mo amai mo shaburi tsukusu kyou no TĒMA wa kanzen chou aku sa}
'Sour or sweet, I'll gobble them all down. Today's theme is rewarding good and punishing evil.'
(Edric was walking towards the halls of his dorm room, making his way to the bathroom, yawning. He picked his nose as his 13 year old self appeared behind him as did his 7 year old self. The scene changed to him sitting at the table with the other Eds as he drank his cola before throwing it away, hitting Eddy on the head, and ate his red bean paste on rice. Then Edrice was standing on top of the mountain, viewing Kunugigaoka Junior High and Tokyo from afar. The screen panned to the E class building as it gradually moved to the classroom, where Nagisa and Kayano by their desk as they looked up smiling, Karma glanced up and smirked, The Eds sat by their desk while Edric leaned back before looking up and smiled.)
{sanbuntekina kuchiburi de yatara usobuku EIRIAN EIRIAN}
'With a commoners' speak. Randomly cry, "Alien! Alien!"'
{norarikurari to tsumibukaki tougenkyou ni GUDDOBAI shitan naraba}
'Evasive and sinful, if you've said your goodbyes to Shangri-La.'
(Yada, Kanzaki and Nakamura talked as they walked to the building. Nakamura decided to tease them a little as Yada blushed while Kanzaki simply smiled. Transition to Koro Sensei as he wiggled around before he split into nine and posed. Changed to Takebayashi and Okajima chat about the maid cafes with the Okajima gushing about the girls there on their way home. They then turned to see the Eds coming at them in a makeshift go cart with Edric driving, freaking them out, as they passed by them.)
{risou ni chuujitsu na ooh kibou wa mada sutete wa ikenai sa}
'You must not yet. Ooh, Throw away a hope that is loyal to your standards.'
(Nagisa and Kayano were driving their go cart with Karma with a Anti-Sensei rocket launcher and Sugino hanging on. Terasaka and his entourage were running with Ritsu on wheels, carrying Hara, Kurahash, Hazama and Okuda joining with Takebayashi and Okajima. Yada, Kanzaki and Nakamura were on theirs while Okano used skates. Fuwa pointed forwards as she's with Maehara and Mimura in their go cart. Isogai drove his cart with a nervous laugh while Kataoka sighed. Chiba and Hayami drove theirs with guns in hand. Kimura drove with Sugaya drawn in his sketchbook. Itona drove a makeshift motorcycle. Then Karma fired his launcher as it was going towards the Eds as they screamed in panic as it exploded into them.)
{SHĪSŌ GEMU wa tsudzuiteku sou sou bokura mo yuzurenai}
'The seesaw game is continuing. Yeah, Yeah, and we won't give up.
{shinkenshoubu ni yami tsuki de mou doushitatte yamerarenai ya iya}
'Addicted to full-on fighting, I just don't know what to do, I can't quit now-owow.'
(The scene changed to the forest in the mountains where Edric was running in a military uniform as he wielded his Anti-Sensei bokuto in blue paint as he slashed his opposing students with it in a battle cry. The Eds joined him as they fought off as the scene changed to Takaoka with Smog, Grip and Gastro. Then the screen panned up to see Shiro along with the Reaper as he showed his frightening smile. Karasuma was having a meeting with his superiors before turning around and walking away as the scene flashed into Irina in her casual look, then to Gakuha Asano in his office, then to Aguri Yukimura in her lab coat.)
{unmeiron nante zenzen kankeinai}
'Fatality doesn't matter at all.
{isshokenmei da da da}
'With all you've got, yell 'Da! Da! Da!''
(The Eds emerged from the smoke from earlier and drove as fast as they could while Karma kept firing at them. The mountain was seen as explosions were seen as they gradually went down. The Eds stops at the fence of the school as Edric skidded, leaving tire marks on the ground. Edrice then faces the screen with a 'da' followed by Ed Edd n Eddy then Koro Sensei appearing above the Eds.)
EDsassination #7: Time for the ED Test
(E-Class)
DING-DONG! DING-DONG!
After the whole fiasco with Ed and his sleepwalking habits, the Eds and Nakamura made it to their classroom. The bell rang for the E-Class and the day had begun.
If only it could have started normally.
The student stared at their teacher with blank-white eyed confusion. Koro Sensei was standing in front of the classroom and used his Mach 20 speed to create many duplicates of himself. Each was wearing a different headband with an individual subject on it.
"Let's begin, shall we?" All of the Koro Senseis said.
"Begin what, exactly?" The students asked dumbfoundedly.
"Studying for midterms, of course!" One of the Koro Senseis said.
"Dun-dun-dun! Whoa, look out!"
"I'll be making this period…"
"A high-speed enhanced midterm study hall!" All of them exclaimed in unison.
"Matte, how is that—WHOA!" Edric, along with many of the other kids, nearly jumped out of their skin when a Koro Sensei doppelganger appeared right in front of each of their desks. Their transparent bodies move from one side of the desk to another also every second.
"This is how it is, Edric." The Koro Sensei attending to the scar boy said. "My doubles will provide special one-on-one attention, drilling individually on the areas where you need improvements most."
Edric looked to his right at Ed's table. He wasn't really surprised to find four doubles around the simpleton.
"Man, this is balls." Tarasaka complained, taking little to no little to no interest in learning and improving. "He seriously gotta wear a different headband for each subject?"
When a Koro Sensei double appeared in front of him, the tough guy looked up. Koro Sensei was wearing a Naruto headband instead.
"GIVE ME A BREAK, MAN! NARUTO'S NOT EVEN ON THE TEST!" Tarasaka yelled furiously at him, as Koro Sensei also had on the iconic whisker tattoos of the blonde ninja.
"You think that's weird?" Eddy said, looking at his Koro Sensei. This one was wearing a red headband and black wig that made him look like John Rambo.
(4th Wallbreak)
"It was weird to see the guy in action to another. He keeps getting faster and that means another subject to get better at for a student. But in all honesty, it seemed like he was only doing that to give Ed some more help." Edric told the reader and looked to see that Double D doesn't have a Koro Sensei double, not surprised. "But thanks to Double D's crazy genius smarts, Koro Densei didn't have to spend as much time with my friend. But I'm still trying to figure out why he was wearing the Naruto and Rambo bandanas for Eddy and that douche."
Then, Koro Sensei's left side of his head suddenly moved, making his head look like a sideways U. Seeing this, the Eds and Nagisa screamed in shock. This was actually due to Koro Sensei trying to dodge a straight forward attack from Karma.
"Knife down, Karma! No sneak attacks during study hall!" All the Koro Sensei copies scolded the redhead, while Karma just held out his arm with his head turned away and sticking out his tongue. "This is very difficult, so try not to disrupt my concentration!"
"Doesn't all this spread you a little bit thin, sir?" Nagisa asked while Koro Sensei's head went back to normal. "I, uh…I mean, just thinking about it makes me feel tired."
"No worries there." Koro Sensei said, before gesturing to the window. Standing up on his chair and looking out of the window, Eddy saw a Koro Sensei double relaxing on a beach chair outside. "I got a double outside on R&R duty."
"How's that help?" Eddy question.
"It's best to not question the super lifeform," Double D said, focusing on his work.
'After a couple of days, we began to notice that he's been on a crazy level up rate. I wondered if it had to do this his goal to destroy Earth. No matter how you looked at it, though, he was a tricky target to take on.' Edric thought, seeing the doubles while he studied.
"Correct!" Edric looked to his right and saw the copies around Ed praising him with their arms up. "You got the correct answer with no help!"
"Yay for Ed!" Ed exclaimed happily.
'Who am I to complain? He's really helping Ed and boosting his confidence. At least I don't have too much to worry about. As long as we keep this up, we've got midterms in the bag.' Edric smiled as the study session continued on.
(After school)
When school was out, everyone but the Eds exited out of the building. The four friends stayed to do the last cleanup. Eddy was sweeping the floor near the staff room. He was groaning, silently complaining why Double D volunteered them to clean the hallway. However, his three strains of hair suddenly stood up. Eddy then stopped sweeping and lifted up his head when his interest was piqued by sounds coming from the other side of the closed staff room door.
"Consider this deceptively simple cube."
That was no voice Eddy heard before. He thought that the 'Big Government Man', Koro Sensei and Professor Bitch were the only ones in there.
"If I wish to align the colors, quickly and intuitively, what might be the best way to go about it?"
"Oi, Eddy!" Eddy quickly turned his head to see Edric looking at him, while Koro Sensei was walking towards Eddy's direction, and Double D and Ed were going to the storage room. "Come on. Let's put this stuff away and go home!"
"Oh, ah…right." Eddy said, before running past Koro Sensei. "See you tomorrow!"
"Nurufufufu. Better luck killing me tomorrow." Koro Sensei said as he went to the staff room. When Koro Sensei entered the room…
"The answer. Pry them apart and reassemble. It's as easy as that." The man said that Eddy heard, before using a screwdriver to break apart the Rubix cube he had in his hand, causing Koro Sensei to stop at the doorway. He then lets the piece fall to the ground.
The man who was talking had neatly combed brown hair and violet eyes. He wore a formal business suit that was brown, which was unique compared to the usual gray or black suits of Kunugigaoka's staff. There was also a sawtooth leaf pin on his tie.
This is the Board Chairman of Kunugigaoka Junior High, Gakuho Asano.
"Why Koro Sensei, it's an honor." Asano smiled at the said teacher by the door.
Koro Sensei closed the door behind him as he stepped into the room, while the Eds were making their way out of the school. As Ed, Edric, and then Double D passed the door to the staff room, Eddy halted when he heard Professor Bitch's voice.
"Apparently this gentleman is supposed to be the school's board chairman." Professor Bitch tells Koro Sensei. Eddy quickly placed his ear to the door, hoping to hear more about their conversation.
"Believe me, he is." Karasuma said. "Which also makes him our boss."
"NUAA!" Koro Sensei screamed before Eddy heard him using his superspeed. "So good of you to come all this way, sir! Any chance we could discuss a teensy little hike in salary. If I'm not being too forward, of course? I've added a few extra versions of myself to help with the workload…"
Koro Sensei's Weak Point #6: Subservient to higher-ups.
"Eddy!" The short Ed-boy in question yelped a little and quickly looked to his right to see his friends staying there a few feet from him.
"What are you doing?" Double D asked in a scolding way, making Eddy nervous that the people inside would hear them.
"Are you looking for hamburgers?" Ed asked.
Eddy acted quickly by jumping onto Ed's chest, grabbing Edric and Double D's by their necks. And then he quickly tied the three's heads together into a knot.
"Keep it down, numbskulls! The big shot chairman's here, and I want to know why." He whispered sternly. He then jumped off of Ed's chest and placed his ear on the door again.
"Forgive me for not visiting sooner. I meant to pay my respects before now, but one gets sidetracked." Asano said, prompting Koro Sensei to stop. He then stood up from his chair and turned to face the yellow being. "Karasuma sensei and the Ministry of Defense have painted quite the vivid picture of you. Yess, vivid indeed, though I don't pretend to understand the situation in every particular. Nor do I feel especially qualified to comment. However I will say this, if I may be so bold. You seem to be torn between embracing the role of savior or villain."
With their heads untied, Edric, Ed, and Double D were listening to the discussion going on in the room with Eddy. When they heard the last part of what Asano said, the four friends looked at each other in confusion.
'Savior? Villain?' Edric thought in confusion.
"But no matter. Such things aren't for men like myself to resolve. I'm hardly in a position to save the world. That job I must leave to hands more capable. So barring harm to my school, your assassins may deal with you as they will." Asano said, lowering his head after looking up at Koro Sensei. He walked away from Koro Sensei and went to Karasuma. The chairman then raised a hand to the side of his mouth. "I've been given plenty of incentive to turn a blind eye."
"Thank you for your cooperation." Karasuma responded
"That's a very reasonable attitude, chairman." Professor Bitch said. "I find that quite attractive in a man."
"You flatter me, madam. That said,though I'm happy to give you a carte blanche to do what's necessary, I must think of the future, should the Earth survive." Asano then started walking towards the back of the room. He went to an open window and sat down on its edge. "In other words, what becomes of my school when Koro Sensei is assassinated?Not to make too fine a point, but E-Class must continue to serve its function in the grand scheme of things."
Just like the Eds, who looked shocked and offended, that statement by the chairman rubbed Koro Sensei the wrong way.
"Interesting." Koro Sensei said, looking at Asano. "So rock bottom grades and students with zero prospects serve a 'function', don't they?"
"Oh yes." Asano responded with one leg over the other, his hands on that one leg's knee. "Are you familiar with the Worker Ants Theory?"
Double D was about to explain, but Edric pulled his hat down all the way to cover his head.
"It tells us that in any group, 20% will work hard, 20% will be idle, and the remaining 60% will fall somewhere in between." Asano explained. It made sense to Edric, but he felt he wasn't going to like where the chairman was going with this point. "Now, imagine a group without a middle ground, where hard workers comprise 95% of the population, and the lay-about only 5% . If the lazy worker ants are stigmatized, the ratio is perfectly feasible. Those who under the normal circumstances fall into the average category better themselves to avoid being associated with the ostracized class."
"Very logical." Koro Sensei said. "And of course, unless the 5% is kept down, the incentive for the other 95% disappears."
"Just today I received two alarming complaints." Asano then mentioned. "One from a homeroom D-Class teacher, and one from a couple of students. The first one isn't too severe, just something about an E-Class student glaring at them…However, the second one was that a student of the same class—the one transfer student with the damaged eye—violently hit one of our top students with his bokuto and made a threatening remark."
Edric gulped and sweatdropped while his friends looked at him worriedly.
"I already explained that Edric was defending himself, the student struck him first." Karasuma said.
"And I believe you, Karasuma sensei." Asano replied. "But as you already know, this isn't the first time these four students—the Eds, have caused much trouble for the school. Even before what had happened with our trophy case, I decided to read more about them from a report that their school sent. It's the main reason why I've sent them to E-Class."
This surprised the Eds, their previous school sent the board chairman a report about them and their mischievous deed. If weren't not for them destroying the trophy case, they would still be sent to E-Class regardless.
"They are indeed makers of trouble, and this combined with the desire to assassinate you Koro Sensei, it can only be expected that they would act in such a way and it might have influenced the other student. The issue for both, though, is that E-Class students dared to defy their betters. Obviously I cannot let such insolence stand."
Edric's fist clenched tightly. This system, E-Class role of things and the report from their previous school made Edric mad. How could they do such a thing, the consequences that possibly come in the future and they just don't care!
"After hearing Karasuma's side of the story, I'll not take any drastic measures against Edric." Asano informed them, hopping off the window edge and walking to the door. "But as his teachers, I expect him to be punished in a fair manner and remind him of his place."
He stopped a few feet from the door suddenly.
"Oh, and Koro Sensei…"
Asano's hand swiftly reached into his suit's pocket and pulled out an item. He then threw the item at Koro Sensei, revealing it to be a wire puzzle.
"You have one second to solve this puzzle!"
"What!? You just spring this on me out of the blue?!" Koro Sensei quickly grabbed the wire puzzle and used his superspeed to try and solve it. So stunned by the chairman's challenge that instead of beating the challenge in one second, the yellow being was one the floor with his tentacles tangled up in the wires. Some of his limbs were tied into knots, and there was one wire warped around his neck.
Because they couldn't see what was inside, the Eds could only guess that Koro Sensei couldn't do it.
Koro Sensei's Weak Point #7: Metal puzzles freak him out.
"Your speed certainly lives up to the hype. I can see why most attempts on your life would be an exercise in futility. But bear in mind, my friend…" Asano complimented the struggling teacher. Koro Sensei stopped struggling with his face on the ground. "…In the grand scheme of things, there are many problems for which speed is of no use at all. Now, if you'll kindly excuse me."
When they heard that, the Eds quickly moved away from the door and moved off to the side before the door opened and Asano walked out. The chairman saw the four students staring at him and instantly recognized them. Like deer in the headlights, their bodies froze up by the man's icy stare. Edric didn't know why, but just merely looking at him was enough to make his heart start beating like a jackhammer.
"Hi there!" Asano said with a bright and encouraging smile. Edric could see that it was fake. "I look forward to your midterm results. Best of luck to you."
No one said a thing as Asano then walked away. His smile instantly dropped. The Eds just watched as the chairman made his way out of the building.
(4th Wallbreak)
"So yeah, you heard him, even if we didn't break that case, we were still going to end up here. That moment, we were no longer assassins or our own group of friends, but merely part of the E-for-End Class nobodies." Edric said, then peeked around the corner and looked into the room and stared at Koro Sensei. "As a target, Koro Sensei was practically invincible. We were barely able to land a hit on him, and even professionals like Professor Bitch had their work cut out. However, as a teacher, he was vulnerable to the whims of the higher ups. Just like the board chairman of Kunugigaoka Junior High School's board chairman, Gakuhō Asano. According to Double D that night, the man was a shrewd administrator who, in the first decade of his career, single-handedly brought this school up to top tier status. To put it simply, the moment we stepped foot on the school, there was no way around his ideals of order."
With his face still on the floor, Koro Sensei broke the wire around his finger-tentacles.
(Next Day: E-Class)
"Good morning, everyone!"
In front of everyone, there were now more Koro Sensei doubles than there were yesterday. There were so many, they were now taking over the whole room, and surrounding all the tables.
"As you might have guessed, today, I thought I'd make even more of me!" The Koro Sensei doubles said.
Edric, Double D, Eddy, and Nagisa looked at with deadpan expressions. Koro Sensei started moving around the classroom, providing even more doubles to everyone, all they could think was that this was going too far, more ridiculous to Edric. It was so bad that when Edric looked at Ed's table, the afterimages were starting to get sloppy and the Ed-boy's table was surrounded by characters that weren't even supposed to be in the subject. He even saw one of them was a parody of Gintoki he saw on that one episode.
"Uh hey, Koro Sensei? No offense, but isn't this going to wear you out?" Kayano asked.
"Wear me out? P'shaw!" Koro Sensei responded.
But to Eddy, he could tell that what Asano said yesterday to him really got to the teacher. And he didn't blame him and Edric was still in a bad mood after what he heard yesterday. So he going to break that stupid system of his and prove them all wrong.
(An hour later)
DING-DONG! DING-DONG!
When the bell rang, Koro Sensei finally stopped. Panting out of exhaustion, he was leaning against his desk with a flushed face and used some of his tentacles to hold some fans to cool himself off.
"Look at the poor guy, he's totally down for the count." Maehara said, as he and a few students were standing in front of Koro Sensei, staring at his exhausted state.
"It's not that surprising." Double D stated. "Given the fact that he's used his full capable speed without taking a break. Along with using a multitude of characters for each of us."
"I say we try our luck!" Nakamura smirked and pulled out her Anti-Sensei knife.
"Not that we don't appreciate it, but why's he teaching us so hard anyways?" Okajima asked.
"To get those test scores up. Why else? If I do that…You'll all thank me so much with looks of reverence, that you'll never want to kill me again. And then large-breast neighborhood college girls who will hear about my new reputation would want me to teach them." Koro Sensei chuckled, then started talking while getting caught up in his daydream as his body color turned pink. "I'll never have to worry about you trying to kill me again~. It'll be sheer bliss~."
"Iie, iie, iie. That's not happening. Not in your wildest dreams." Edric picked his nose, looking at Koro Sensei with his dead-fish eyes. The students looked at one another for a moment.
"Yeah! Like that's going to happen!" Eddy said, standing next to his friends' desks.
"I mean, the whole study thing is nice and all…" Mimura said, looking at Yada's direction.
"...But, the reward money we get for assassinating him is nothing to sneeze at." Yada finished his sentence, getting the Eds to look at them in surprise. Edric looked at Yada in shock, hearing her saying such a thing.
"Say what?" Edric and Eddy asked.
"Let's face it." Nakamura said, putting her hands behind her head. "Who needs to ace the midterm when you've got that kind of cash tucked away in your bank account?"
"Matte! Matte! Matte! The money's nice and all but after everything we've been through, you're just going to give up just like that?!" Edric exclaimed at them in disbelief. "What about Ed? He's been working really hard to learn and play catch up!"
"That's right!" Ed said, before holding up a bottle of ketchup. "Because you can't have ketchup without learning."
"And that just proves our point." Okajima said, gesturing to Ed. "Even with all the help, he's been given, Ed's still going to be the same as always."
"Oh, come now, everyone. Surely you must reconsider. Think about all the things that can come from getting good grades. The money can get you the jobs you want and the careers you desire." Double D said, getting out of his desk and walking to the front of the room to get everyone's attention. He then opened his handbag. "And just to help all of you, I've taken the liberty of creating a study guide that would—"
"You might as not bother, Double D." said Mimura with a smile that made it seem like he was taking pity on the Eds. "It'll just be a waste of paper on us."
"So, what if it is?" Eddy demanded, standing up from his chair. "It could help us!"
"Look, you guys can try all you like, but it's not going to change anything." Nakamura said, looking at the four friends while feeling the hopelessness everyone was feeling from them. "You're better off with the EDsassination Plan and trying to assassination Koro Sensei than doing well on the test. You're a part of the 'End' Class, like the rest of us."
"…If you think you're the only ones with problems in your lives, then you have another thing coming." Eddy said enraged as he got almost everyone's attention. Though they've grown used to the short Ed-boy's loud voice, they were still startled by his aggression. "Do you want to know why we want to pass this year, and even if we're here in E-Class? It's to make up for the many mistakes, mishaps, and destruction we've caused! 'Cause of me! So much so, that no school in America was going to take us together! You think you've got problems?! Here's something you should know; our lives suck! We were outcasts long before we came here, and all we want now is a second chance at having a future!"
There was nothing but silence as all the E-Class students, even Double D and Ed stared at Eddy in shock. Taken back completely by his outburst and his words. Edric felt the same, ashamed of everyone's attitude because of this cruel system that the bastard of a chairman set up. He was about to walk away from the classroom until he heard Koro Sensei's voice.
"You boys can stop now. I'll take it from here." Koro Sensei said suddenly, getting everyone's attention. They all saw him standing with his head low, confusing the students.
"Take what, sir?" Mimura asked.
"I don't think you should appreciate what it means to be an assassin. you are not qualified to be assassins," Koro Sensei said in a dangerous tone that confused and frightened the students. Though his face was darkened by his shadow, they could see that his face was purple with an X on it. "Everyone! Schoolyard! NOW!"
(Schoolyard)
A moment later, they were all standing outside on the field, staring at Koro Sensei a few meters in front of them. The being just stood there with his back facing the students of E-Class. Karasuma and Professor Bitch were also outside, standing on the hill the building was built on while watching the class. All they could do is wonder why Koro Sensei brought them out here.
"What's his deal, making us all stand out here like a bunch of goobers?" Mimura asked.
"I dunno, maybe something we said put him in a mood." Nakamura said, still a bit taken back what Eddy said earlier.
"Eddy." Koro Sensei called out to the short Ed.
"Y-Yes, sir?" This surprised the Ed-boy a little.
"I like you to know that I'm sorry for not speaking up sooner." Koro Sensei said. "I didn't mean for you to get upset, but I am glad you were truthful with everyone. I took the time to read the report Peach Creek gave about you and your friends. All the schemes, scams, and the damage you've done. You four have caused quite a lot of chaos, and that's why you were sent to E-Class. However, I'm here to tell all of you that whether you love or hate the E-Class system, as a remedial process, it can work. The good thing about it is the way in which temporary relief measures have been prepared."
"What do you mean, sir?" Double D asked.
"Imagine placing within the top 50 of 186 students on midterms. Make that a reality, and securing a former teacher's permission is all an E-Class student needs to return to the class from which they were ejected. But given the conditions we've been forced to work under, the personal setbacks that landed each of you here are difficult to fix. Because you, the Yorozuya Eds, were placed here in the beginning, this probably wouldn't happen. But as for the rest of the E-Class students, they are all convinced that returning to the main campus is no more than a pipe dream." He explained, as he pushed a soccer goal to the right. When he placed the goal where he wanted it to be, he turned his head to look at Professor Bitch. "Miss Jelavić. I'd like your opinion as a professional assassin."
"Alright, what do you wanna know?" Professor Bitch asked.
"Now, let's say you've been given an assignment. Do you only have one plan going into it?" Koro Sensei asked which she was confused at first, but Professor Bitch answered the question.
"Hm? 'Course not. If my profession has taught me anything, it's that plan A almost never comes off like you'd expect it to. There are just too many variables. A good assassin has a back plan on hand for any contingencies." She answered
"Like when you're hungry, but there's a bear that is hungrier." Ed asked, getting them all to look at him.
"Shut up, Ed." Eddy said.
"And you, Karasuma sensei. What about you? When teaching knife combat strategies, do you believe the first strike is the only move of any importance?" Koro Sensei asked, looking at the agent. Karasuma understood where he was going with this and answered.
"The first move is important, but so is the follow up. Never assume the first strike will hit. Because when your opponent's trained, you have to be ready to deliver the next strike with at least as much precision and skill as the first, or, better yet, carry a second blade." Karasuma explained.
"If you have a point, sir, I think we're missing it." Maehara said.
The yellow octopus then confused and surprised them by beginning to spin around. Creating a small cloud of dust under his feet.
"Listen to your teachers, boys and girls! Backup plans are the cornerstone of confidence, and a confident assassin is a successful one. The same goes for life in general. Thinking that you'll be fine since we have the assassination, but not academics?." Koro Sensei said, starting to go faster. "You heard the old saying, right? Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Well, that's exactly what you're doing here!"
WHOOSH!
Now he was going so fast that it was causing the sand and dirt of the field to kick up and blast towards the students. They were forced to try and withstand the vortex that Koro Sensei was causing. While Ed was able to keep himself from flying off, his three friends were having a much harder time keeping themselves on the ground. A moment later, Eddy and Edric were slammed into the big guy's body, and Double D was forced to hold onto the flapping end of Ed's uniform.
"Now. Suppose I left the classroom for good. Suppose some other would-be assassin out there managed to do me in." Koro Sensei said over his roaring winds. "What would you be left with? What would you strive for then? Or are you satisfied with being outcasts? A word of advice from your Koro Sensei: you walk a fine line!"
The vortex was now a tornado. Ripping up the grass and dirt.
"Those who can't wield a second blade aren't qualified to be assassins!"
"WHERE THE HECK DID THOSE LETTERS COME FROM!?" Edric yelled over the roaring wind, looking at the previously said sentence that formed in big, black letters in the air. It looked like it was straight out of a CARTOON!
(Main Campus)
At the main campus of Kunugigaoka Junior High, almost everyone from Classes A-D was able to see the tornado and were reasonably freaking out. Who wouldn't see a catastrophic weather anomaly going on near them, they would be frightened too.
"What the-?"
"Holy crap, guys, check it out! Is that a tornado?"
As he was walking past some students when the tornado began, Asano looked at it and wasn't too concerned. To him, Koro Sensei was just showing off.
(Back with E-Class)
When Koro Sensei finally stopped spinning around, the tornado dispelled and there was only a dust cloud that covered the field. The dust then started to clear up. The dark clouds that covered the sky began to separate, this allowed the sun to shine light onto the students, teachers, and field of E-Class.
After Edric, Eddy, and Double D fell to the ground after hanging onto Ed for dear, he sat up and glared at where Koro Sensei was at—even though he could only see the creature's silhouette.
"Oi! Octo Sensei! Are you trying to kill…us?" He exclaimed at first, but the dead fish eyed boy was shocked at what he saw.
"There. Our schoolyard needed good leveling. Not to mention a few weeds cleared."
Koro Sensei was now standing on the field that was now a newly made track field with the line drawn in white, and with two soccer nets at the ends of it.
"I'm a superior lifeform capable of destroying the you can see, flattening out this little corner of it was a cich." Koro Sensei stated in a dark tone, with his face darkened and his eyes glowing red. This frightened the E-Class students, while Karma stood a few feet away leaning against a tree. "Cast your nets wide. Show me your backup plan, that crucial second blade. Otherwise, I'll be forced to conclude no would-be assassins here is worthy of me. And I won't just have a mind to leave, I'll flatten this entire campus as I go."
"A second blade? So how long have we got?" Nagisa asked.
"Not very. Until the end of tomorrow," Koro Sensei replied. The students all gasped. He then pointed at all of them as a 50 appeared on his forehead. "The midterms are upon us, class. I want all of you to place in the top 50."
This shocked the students even more.
"Oi, you're asking the near impossible!?" Edric exclaimed. "We're still struggling with some parts, and Ed still needs work!"
"That's why we're going to change that. Like I've been doing with Ed, we've been sharpening those second blades all along. The main campus relies on dull teaching methods. I, to put it mildly, do not." Koro Sensei held out his arms. He then pointed at them again. "Don't think so lowly of Ed or yourselves. Wield those blades with confidence! Take your midterm by the gills, smiling, your heads held high! Be proud! Be bold! And never forget, you are assassins! You are E-Class!"
(4th Wallbreak)
"Well, that was it. If we wanted to keep Koro Sensei here and stay alive, we had to pass the midterms." Edric sighs and he'll face the inevitable.
(Timeskip)
Days passed and the midterms came, and E-Class was taking it in Class 3-D. All was quiet in the room as the students took the test, but not really. Kensaku Ōno, the homeroom teacher of the class that had the face of a douchebag, was tapping his finger on his fingers on his deck loudly. Blatantly doing it to disrupt their concentration. However, he glanced a few glares at Double D. While all of the others were anxious, the smart Ed-boy was going through his test with ease.
'Turns out the midterms are administered on the main campus, even for E-Class. We were the only ones not fighting on our Homefront.' Edric thought as he read his question very hard.
(Test World)
Suddenly, popping out of the test paper was a giant fish with a crocodile head. Edric was startled but was able to get out of his seat before it could bite down on him. Growing much larger, it swung its tail and nearly crushed Sugaya and Hara. All of them, except for Double D, were now in this spacious dimension with floating rings made out of math problems and equations. They ran away from the monster, as it raised its enormous head and roared.
Eddy, Ed, Edric, and Nagisa stopped and looked at the monster. If one looked closer at it, they'd see that it was made up of numbers. That was because this was question 4 on the test.
"Edric, how did this story get so weird?" Eddy asked, holding his green knife instead of his pencil.
"How the hell should I know?!" Edric exclaimed, drawing out his bokutos.
The fish monster lunged at them and they all quickly ran out of the way before its jaw collided with the ground. It then floated away, hanging onto its snout with Ed, who was hanging on for dear life.
"Help me, guys!" He called out, while the monster swam away in the dimension. "The monster got me!"
"I thought it was going to be like this." Nagisa said, getting Edric to look at him. "The midterms they give in this school have always been a beast."
"A beast?! Try monstrosity!" Edric retorted.
"Then how do we figure it out, damnit!" Eddy demanded. Before another monster formed and popped out of the ground in front of them.
"I don't know, but we can't figure it out fast…" Edric paused and looked up at the monster that was about to attack. "We're about to be dead meat!"
Suddenly, he wasn't in danger anymore, just standing in a black, empty space. Looking around in confusion at first, Edric then felt something wrap around his right wrist. He looked at his right arm and was surprised to see it was one of Koro Sensei's tentacle hands reaching down from above. It was like it was helping him wield his sword properly.
"I taught you this, didn't I?" He heard Korosensei's voice. Edric raised his head and saw Lake Kiryu being pointed at the monster. "The poor beast isn't as terrifying as all that. Start by observing that fin."
Edric didn't know how, but his mind was now seeing it not as the large, scaly flipper it once was. Instead, it was now a normal flipper of a fish.
" On closer inspection, it's just that, a fin." This time it wasn't Edric, it was Ed who was being talked to. He watched as each aspect of the monster's appearance changed and normal fish. "Next, look over each part of the question with the same attention to detail, and piece together what you find…"
"Voila! A trivial adversary indeed!" In front of Eddy and on his desk was a fish lying on a chopping grinned widely, finally seeing the answer to the problem. "Now use that trusty blade to filet it."
'And just like that, we had it.' Edric said in his head.
The Eds began cutting into their fishes. While Double D had more fishes down, his friends were now starting to really start moving and started cutting more fish.
(Real World)
In the real world, Ōno saw how all the students were now writing down their answers quickly and calmly and became confused and concerned. Wondering how the students that were supposed to fail were starting to succeed.
'It all became clear. The trick was to take the problem one part at a time. All of it is just as Koro Sensei taught us all along!' Edric grinned as he broke through the questions. 'Eddy, Ed, myself, everyone. We were completely different people than we were before. We were unstoppable.'
(Test World)
Back in their fantasy, Ed, Eddy and Edric finished double teaming on a monster question and landed in front of its deadhead. They then ran towards Double D, Nagisa, and Karma.
"This is fun!" Ed exclaimed cheerfully.
"You got that right!" Eddy said, still running towards their friends. "From here on out, it's nothing but smooth sailing."
They spoke too soon, because out of nowhere a large, black arm with a red hue suddenly swipes away not only them but many other students. The four could only watch as they were all consumed by the mass that formed the arm.
As Eric, Double D, Nagisa, and Karma tried to understand what had happened, something formed behind them, as the dimension turned red. The monster this time was a run and black mass that looked almost human. Only with blank eyes and sharp teeth. Trapped inside of its body were the others.
It reached for the four remaining boys, who weren't able to turn around quick enough to see its hand starting to grab them.
'And in that moment, we were struck down from behind by a question we weren't prepared for. By a certain person, who is willing to do whatever means to put us in our place.' Edric grunted, finally seeing Asano under all that. Giving him his demonic look.
(Next day - E-Class Faculty Lounge)
The next day came, and the students all got their test results. To put it simply, they didn't even come close to the top 50s.
"Not to rock the boat, but this is ridiculous." Karasuma said on the phone, talking to people in the main building. "You gotta help me out here. However I look at it, this test seems rigged."
"I don't know what to say, sir. You ought to have received proper notification. Perhaps there was some sort of communication flap on your end? But there's no point in coming to the main campus, I can tell you that. Hahahaha~"
"The communication flap wasn't on our end, buddy." Karasuma replied. "Besides, what constitutes 'proper notification'? Two days before midterms, you decided to broaden the scope and that was supposed to be enough time for us to cover everything?"
"…With all due respect Erm… Karasuma sensei, was it? You don't understand. We're a prep school. This sort of thing happens all the time. Our students are expected to cram. That's been our policy for years. In fact, when it was decided to include the new material on this midterm, the chairman himself lectured our students on those subjects personally. It was wonderful. You should've seen it."
Karasuma wasn't going to get anything out of this biased man and ended the call. This was unbelievable. There was nothing the chairman wasn't going to do to further his system. The man then looked at Koro Sensei, who was just standing there staring at a wall. The chairman's interference was excessive. Now it's because of him that the target could leave, and they would lose everything.
But he could tell that that wasn't all that was on the octopus' mind. Two students did make it into the top 50s, but only one was asked to come to the main building early today. All so that he will be accepted into D-Class.
And that student was Double D.
(E-Class Classroom)
Back in the classroom, no one said a word as they looked at their failed test results. Out of the Eds, Eddy was the only one still there. After finding out that Double D was asked by a teacher to transfer to his class, Double D left to talk to them. This caused Ed to become upset and he even tried to run after his smart friend, and Edric and Fuwa ran after him.
While the other students could only feel defeated and depressed about their test, Eddy felt it for another reason: guilt. He blamed himself for all the bad things that have happened to them in the past, and even more so for getting them sent to E-Class before all their actions back at Peach Creek Junior High. Most of them were because of him and his harebrained schemes. If it wasn't for him, they wouldn't be here, struggling to make it up to the top. In a way, Eddy thought that after the Big Picture Show, they were finally going to catch a break. That if passing the midterms, they could show Asano that he was wrong about them. Guess it wasn't to be.
The only one to notice Eddy's depressed state was Nakamura. The blonde girl that sat behind him may only be about to see the back of his head but could tell that he was sad about something.
"Hey." She said, getting Eddy to look over his shoulder at her. "Are you okay?"
"…Not really." Eddy replied. That wasn't something Nakamura expected him to say. She thought he would have brushed it off and tried to act cool, like usual.
She was going to ask him another question when the door opened and Edric and Fuwa walked in, bringing Ed with them by his arm. Ed was sobbing up a waterfall as they led him into the room.
"It's not fair…" He cried, before taking his arms away from Fuwa and Edric and walking to his desk. His head low and tears pouring to the ground so much that kids near them had to pick up their feet and belongings just to not get them wet.
"Got that right, Ed. This freaking sucks!" Edric exclaimed, sat down at his desk and put his feet on it. Fuwa stayed with Ed, patting him on the back to comfort him, as he cried on her shoulder. Soaking her clothes.
"I didn't think he would get this upset." She said.
"Yeah. I mean, it sucks that Double D's gone, but I didn't think Ed would try and run after him." Sugino said.
"Those three have been with each other since they were little." Edric implied, looking at Sugino and Fuwa. "They were practically inseparable."
"And then you came along." Yada said with a sad smile.
"Right." Edric said, now turning to Yada. "Only because everyone just associated me with them and they were the only ones willing to be around me."
"And now, Double D's gone. And…I'm sorry." Eddy said, still feeling down. Ed stopped crying before he and Edric turned their attention towards their friend in confusion. This was NEVER a state of depression that they ever thought they'd see Eddy in. "If it wasn't for all those things I made us do back home, then we wouldn't have ended up being assigned here."
"I thought that you guys were sent here because you broke the trophy case?" Nagisa asked, before the door opened and in came Koro Sensei.
"It was, but their school sent the chairman a record of all their misdeeds and he felt it necessary to have them be placed in E-Class. The trophy case just proved his point." He told them, looking at the ground before reaching his desk, and then turned to face the wall. Koro Sensei didn't even close the door. "And if anything, Eddy, I take full responsibility. Clearly, I underestimated this school's dedication to the status quo…I can't bring myself to face all of you."
No one said a word and just stared at Koro Sensei's back. Edric looked between Koro Sensei and Eddy, before grunted in frustration. This was a disaster. How were they going to get through the year with Double D not around and supporting them? And worst, Koro Sensei may actually leave them and when he does, there goes not only the chance to get the money, but the hope of stopping him from destroying the planet. There was no way to catch him. No way to keep him in one place. Not when they're all dead when he flattens the building.
"Well, I don't think it's any of your faults."
The all too familiar voice brought all of their attention to the doorway and they were shocked and astonished to see it was none other than Double D himself. Standing there with a reassuring smile.
"DOUBLE D!" Ed suddenly tackled him to the ground, before standing up and hugging the brushed-up Ed-boy. He then walked into the room towards Edric and Eddy pulled them out of their chairs and into a hug. "Escaped and okay! We are as one once again."
"What are you doing here?" Isogai asked, standing up from his chairs as many others did. Walking over and surrounding the Eds. "I thought they wanted you to be a member of D-Class."
"While that is true, and the teacher did see great academic potential in me, I denied his request." Double D answers him, pulls himself out of Ed's grip and dust himself off. This made all but Ed, Eddy, and Edric gasp in shock.
"You actually turned down an offer like that? That's crazy!" Maehara said.
"It was the opportunity of a lifetime." Nakamura pressed the point further.
"True that may be, fellow E-Class members, but I had no intentions of leaving. For one thing, it's that Koro Sensei has proven to be an extraordinary teacher that was even able to help Ed with his learning. Even if they did add in changes to the questions, it made no difference to me. And on analyzing my results, I can safely say it's all because of your willingness to go the extra mile for all of us." Double D said with a smile. The hat-wearing boy then turned to Eddy, who got out of Ed's hug. "And Eddy, while it's true that our actions caused us to come here, it was the chairman who wanted us in E-Class. And if my friends are here, then I would rather be here with you and everyone. I know you're frustrated, but even with everything, I'm proud to see how much you want to change for the better. You're not the same person you were back then."
Just like everyone in the room, Eddy looked at his friend in astonishment. He then looked at Ed and Eric, who was smiling at him too. The feelings of guilt went away, and he smiled.
"…Is it bad that I kinda wish I was?" Eddy asked.
"Hai! You were a terrible excuse for a human being, Skipper!" Edric jokes, grinning like a madman.
"Hey!" Eddy glared at him before Karma started laughing as he made his way to join them. Looking at Koro Sensei.
"The same could be said about me, teach. I'm not going anywhere. Normal classes have nothing on assassination." He said with his usual smile. Koro Sensei just continued to stare at them with his usual look as the redhead got close to his face and pulled out his knife. "So, what are you gonna do? Everyone didn't make it into the top 50 spots, so are you gonna run away with your tail between your legs, like you said you would? Or is it that you are afraid that one of us is going to kill you?"
This caused a vein to pop out on Koro Sensei's head. Nagisa gasped a little when he saw what he was doing and smiled. The Eds and all the other students saw it too, and smiled and nodded to each other.
"Jeez, Octo-head." Eddy said in a mocking voice with his hands behind his head. "We had no idea you felt that way, you have just told us."
"Next time, consider being more straightforward with how you feel." Kataoka said,
"It's easy." Nakamura joined him as they stood together. "All you had to say was 'I want to run away because I'm scared'."
The two of them and the others started laughing and cracking jokes. This only caused more veins to pop on Koro Sensei. His body started turning red as he became angrier. He finally reached his boiling point and threw his arms up.
"NUAAA! NO ONE IS RUNNING AWAY!" Koro Sensei yelled.
"Right, so what are we gonna do now?" Edric asked. This got Koro Sensei to stop and his skin to turn back to normal.
"We're getting our revenge on this school two-fold during finals!" He said to the students, only to be shocked when they started laughing again. "Children! This is no laughing matter!"
(4th Wallbreak)
"Okay, so we ran into a wall with the midterms. The same wall that's always surrounded E-Class. Even so, that wasn't going to keep us down forever. We were going to get back up with our heads held high and proud!"Edric said as he smirked and pointed his finger at the screen. "Because we're the Yorozuya Eds and also the members of E-Class!"
(Cue Silver by RIZE)
{Instrument}
(The scene showed the crescent moon as it zoomed out before it glitched showing Koro Sensei's face in its place. Lake Kiryu was showed as it panned up, Anti-Sensei rifle panning to the left, Anti-Sensei gun spun across the screen, and the EDsasssination Plan Journal panned downward. Back to the moon as glitched again, revealing the E-Class building.)
{Sora o koe yama o koe minato e touhon seisou asa kara ban made}
'Past the sky, over the mountains, city-bound on the go from morning until the night.'
{Toki o kakenukeru ima na o nokose miraieigou sekai no hate made}
'Running through time, leaving our names in this moment.'
(Edric was in a red black-lined shirt and a black yukata with red flames on the bottom holding Lake Kiryu while Yada stood next to him, wearing a blue yukata with floral design. Then Edric is shown in white silhouette, practicing with his sword by the E-Class building while the sun rises and sets. Eddy wore a white millionaire suit counting his money with Nakamura in an elegant dress having a drink. The Eds in whote silhouette were walking home passing by Kunugigaoka Junior High.)
{Wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi Tataka waneba soko de owaru}
'Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! If we don't fight, it all ends right here!'
{Wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi Mamoru yatsu ga iru hana ga chiru toki hana wa mau}
'Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! There's something we have to protect, the flowers dance while they fall.'
(The scene split horizontally as Edric appeared on top, then Eddy, Double D, finally Ed. Double D and Okuda are in lab coats as they work with some chemicals. The scene split vertically as Ed appeared, then Double D, Eddy, and Edric. Ed was in his monster costume as he rampaged on a city set while Fuwa recorded it on her phone. Changes to night as the moonlight shows a daisy sprouting from the ground.)
{Ah daiji na mono ga aru Ah Ah kawaranai mono ga aru}
'Ah, I have something important. Ah ah, I have something that doesn't change.'
Yeah! Yeah!
{kimi to ikiru koto kimi o mamoru yo}
I'll live on with you, I'll protect you.
I'm here to fight for you…Today!
(Nagisa was in a dress, much to his chagrin, while Kayano was trying out girly accessories on him as the scene zoomed out. E-Class does their regular shooting on Koro Sensei as he dodges them on Mach 20. Koro Sensei flew across the ocean before he sped up close to the screen as he gave his signature laughter.)
{Bakurai sairai kendo juurai}
'The bombs going off again, let's try twice as hard again'
{Bakurai sairai kendo juurai}
'The bombs going off again, let's try twice as hard again'
(The scene goes back to Lake Kiryu panning down as the Anti-Sensei rifle appeared and intersecting it. The spinning Anti-Sensei Gun and the Edsassination Journal appeared as they intersect the two. Then they stopped at each corner as the title appeared in the middle.)
Next Time: EDsassination #8 - Taking an ED Trip