EDsassination #10: An ED-tonomous Transfer
After the E-Class trip to Kyoto, things were going back to normal. Well, normal for E-Class at least. It's Monday and the Eds, Nagisa, Sugino and Isogai were walking together to the old school building.
"Aww. I want to do that again." Ed complained, wanting to go back to Kyoto.
"I know what you mean, Ed." Nagisa said. "That field trip was awesome."
"Chyeah, no kidding. Too bad we go back to normal today." Sugino commented.
"Normal. Yeah, sure." Eddy sarcastically replied. He was still feeling tired after staying up to do some studying last night.
"Cheer up, gentlemen." Double D said, running ahead of the group of friends, turned, and started walking backward. He did this while happily stating his joy. "It's another day for learning, and it's not every day that you get a new classmate."
Edric, who was reading his Jump, looked up as he and the group stopped for a moment, wondering what he was talking about. Then Edric remembered.
"Oh right, didn't Karasuma sensei send out an email to us about that?" Edric asked. Nagisa backed this up by bringing out his phone and opening the email, as the other boys gathered around.
[A transfer student will be joining you tomorrow. Their looks may surprise you, try to make a big deal out of it. – Karasuma]
"Hmm…seems kinda fishy to me." Sugino said. "They're probably just trying out another assassin."
"Weird, they got professional killers our age, don't you think?" Nagisa asked, sweating a little.
"It's possible that the desire for an age-decreased hitman came from the failures of Ms. Irina." Double D said.
"You may be right, Double D." Isogai said.
"HAVE YOU SEEN A PIC?!" Okajima suddenly exclaimed when he popped up behind Double D. Scaring the Ed-boy enough to make him leap into Ed's arms.
"Why do you people insist on doing that?!" Double D yelled while shaking in fright. That's when he noticed that he was in Ed's arms and looked at him with wide eyes. "Oh, hello, Ed."
"Dude, what are ya? A Ninja?" Sugino asked, startled by his sudden appearance.
"Naturally, I was curious, so I figured I hit Karasuma sensei up with some photos, y'know?" Okajima explained to the other boys and showed his photo to them. "Ask and you shall receive."
They were surprised to see the headshot photo of a girl with lilac hair and red eyes.
"Whoa! It's a girl?" Sugino exclaimed.
"And you've already made her your background." Nagisa commented.
"She's really cute." Isogai added.
"INot just cute! Adorable!" Okajima started gushing and blushing, having already fallen head over heels for the mystery girl. "Yaaah…This is the one I've been waiting for!"
"She doesn't look like an assassin." Isogai said.
"Why am I suddenly so nervous?" Okajima asked himself as he started dancing, which wasn't looking good for the Eds, Nagisa, Isogai and Sugino as Kataoka and Kurahashi walked by and saw the pervert. Edric walked up to the dancing Okajima before smacking him on the head.
SMACK!
"Oi, pull yourself together, Baka-Hentai." Edric said before looking at the others. "And don't judge her by her looks you guys, she may be a soldier from the military or a robot. Heck, maybe she's a secret weapon developed with the reward money! I won't let them have their way!"
"I don't think that's possible, Edric." Nasiga sweatdropped.
"New friend for Ed!" Ed exclaimed happily and ran off towards the classroom with Double D still in his arms.
"Wait up, lumpy!" Eddy yelled, running after them before Edric, Nagisa, Sugino, and even Okajima followed after him and the other Eds.
(4th Wallbreak)
"We could have only guessed what the new girl was all about. Either way, we could only hope she's ready to be the center of attention for a while. No way she wasn't a normal Junior High girl and she had to be an assassin." Edric said and he faced the readers then sweatdropped. "Boy, we are right and wrong."
(Class 3-E)
When Nagisa and the others approached the door to their classroom, they saw the Eds had stopped at the door and were just standing there. Staring at something in the classroom with big, wide eyes.
"Hey, guys." Sugino said. "Huh…?"
All fell silent as they too could only stare at what the Eds were looking at.
Way in the back of the classroom in the last column was a large rectangular machine with a video screen. It stood there ominously as the Eds, a handful of students worked up the nerves to approach it. Just looking at it puts them all on edge, while leaving many questions.
"Nani Kore?" Edric asked.
However, this seemed to activate the machine. The video screen turned on, and they were shocked to see it was the face of the same girl from the photo Karasuma sent to Okajima but the eyes look lifeless.
[Good morning, fellow students.] She said in a robotic and monotone voice, shocking them all. [I am AIFA, which is an acronym for 'Autonomous Intelligence Fixed Artillery'. And I'm happy to be a part of this class.]
The screen turned off, going to power save mode. Leaving the kids shocked, with white eyes and a few sweat drops.
"Hello! I am Ed!" Ed waved.
"I told you guys she's a secret weapon from the military!" Edric shouted. 'Yep, it's come to this. Robots are taking over our world before Koro Sensei ends it!'
(Cue Tougenkyou Alien by serial TV Drama)
(Instrumental)
(Then scene pans at the city of Tokyo, Japan. Edric walked in facing backwards as he turned around and gave a biggest goofiest smile. The scene changed to Kunugigaoka Junior High as pans away. Eddy and Ed came next as the two did the same thing as Edric. Then changed to the E-Class building in the mountain as it zooms closer. Double D came last as he gave his smile. The scene zooms to the classroom, in which no one was there except Koro Sensei with his arms wiggling about and giving his signature smile as the title appeared.)
Ed Edd Eddy n Edric: The EDsassination Classroom
{Sunda hitomi ga yobisamasu wasurekaketeta seigikan seigikan}
'My dead eyes are woken up by the sense of justice, a sense of justice I had forgotten.
{sui mo amai mo shaburi tsukusu kyou no TĒMA wa kanzen chou aku sa}
'Sour or sweet, I'll gobble them all down. Today's theme is rewarding good and punishing evil.'
(Edric was walking towards the halls of his dorm room, making his way to the bathroom, yawning. He picked his nose as his 13 year old self appeared behind him as did his 7 year old self. The scene changed to him sitting at the table with the other Eds as he drank his cola before throwing it away, hitting Eddy on the head, and ate his red bean paste on rice. Then Edrice was standing on top of the mountain, viewing Kunugigaoka Junior High and Tokyo from afar. The screen panned to the E class building as it gradually moved to the classroom, where Nagisa and Kayano by their desk as they looked up smiling, Karma glanced up and smirked, The Eds sat by their desk while Edric leaned back before looking up and smiled.)
{sanbuntekina kuchiburi de yatara usobuku EIRIAN EIRIAN}
'With a commoners' speak. Randomly cry, "Alien! Alien!"'
{norarikurari to tsumibukaki tougenkyou ni GUDDOBAI shitan naraba}
'Evasive and sinful, if you've said your goodbyes to Shangri-La.'
(Yada, Kanzaki and Nakamura talked as they walked to the building. Nakamura decided to tease them a little as Yada blushed while Kanzaki simply smiled. Transition to Koro Sensei as he wiggled around before he split into nine and posed. Changed to Takebayashi and Okajima chat about the maid cafes with the Okajima gushing about the girls there on their way home. They then turned to see the Eds coming at them in a makeshift go cart with Edric driving, freaking them out, as they passed by them.)
{risou ni chuujitsu na ooh kibou wa mada sutete wa ikenai sa}
'You must not yet. Ooh, Throw away a hope that is loyal to your standards.'
(Nagisa and Kayano were driving their go cart with Karma with a Anti-Sensei rocket launcher and Sugino hanging on. Terasaka and his entourage were running with Ritsu on wheels, carrying Hara, Kurahash, Hazama and Okuda joining with Takebayashi and Okajima. Yada, Kanzaki and Nakamura were on theirs while Okano used skates. Fuwa pointed forwards as she's with Maehara and Mimura in their go cart. Isogai drove his cart with a nervous laugh while Kataoka sighed. Chiba and Hayami drove theirs with guns in hand. Kimura drove with Sugaya drawn in his sketchbook. Itona drove a makeshift motorcycle. Then Karma fired his launcher as it was going towards the Eds as they screamed in panic as it exploded into them.)
{SHĪSŌ GEMU wa tsudzuiteku sou sou bokura mo yuzurenai}
'The seesaw game is continuing. Yeah, Yeah, and we won't give up.
{shinkenshoubu ni yami tsuki de mou doushitatte yamerarenai ya iya}
'Addicted to full-on fighting, I just don't know what to do, I can't quit now-owow.'
(The scene changed to the forest in the mountains where Edric was running in a military uniform as he wielded his Anti-Sensei bokuto in blue paint as he slashed his opposing students with it in a battle cry. The Eds joined him as they fought off as the scene changed to Takaoka with Smog, Grip and Gastro. Then the screen panned up to see Shiro along with the Reaper as he showed his frightening smile. Karasuma was having a meeting with his superiors before turning around and walking away as the scene flashed into Irina in her casual look, then to Gakuha Asano in his office, then to Aguri Yukimura in her lab coat.)
{unmeiron nante zenzen kankeinai}
'Fatality doesn't matter at all.
{isshokenmei da da da}
'With all you've got, yell 'Da! Da! Da!''
(The Eds emerged from the smoke from earlier and drove as fast as they could while Karma kept firing at them. The mountain was seen as explosions were seen as they gradually went down. The Eds stops at the fence of the school as Edric skidded, leaving tire marks on the ground. Edrice then faces the screen with a 'da' followed by Ed Edd n Eddy then Koro Sensei appearing above the Eds.)
EDsassination #10: An ED-tonomous Transfer
When everyone came into the classroom and saw the AIFA, were understandably freaked out, but it, and then sent to go sit in their assigned seats, that's when class started. Karasuma, Koro Sensei, and Professor Bitch walked into the room together, and the agent stepped in front of the chalkboard.
"As you probably already figured out for yourselves. This is our new 'transfer student'." Karasuma told the students with his back turned to them, holding in his anger, his fist clenched tightly and trembling, writing on the board. He finished writing hard on the board, breaking off a tiny piece of the chalk he held. "The Autonomous Intelligence Fixed Artillery, on loan from Norway."
[It's nice to meet all of you, thank you for having me.] The video screen turned on and the AIFA's human face showed before it went black again.
'Karasuma sensei is so over it.' Kayano sweatdropped.
'Not making smart-ass comments about this will be the hardest thing I've ever done.' Sugaya also sweatdropped.
"This cannot be real." Edric groaned, laying his head against his fist.
Standing near the door with Professor Bitch next to him, Koro Sensei giggled. This only aggravated Karasuma and he snapped his head towards him with a glare.
"I'll thank you not to laugh! This is a serious deal!" He stated, before turning back to class. Addressing not only the teachers but the students as well. "The AIFA's registered here, just like the Eds, as part of the Foreign-Exchange Program. She'll be trying to kill you just like everyone else here. And, as per our agreement, you'll have zero recourse. No fighting back. No harming her in any way. The arrangement we have concerning the students safety still applies."
"Mm-hmm…" Korosensei placed his hand on where his chin would be—if he had one. "You and your government might be extending that arrangement a bit too liberally. But very well, welcome to E-Class, Autonomous Intelligence Fixed Artillery!"
[Thank you, Koro Sensei. I certainly appreciate it.] The girl appeared on-screen again.
(First Period)
"All right, then. Now, as we know, of the characters in our story, one is already dead." Koro Sensei said.
And that's how the day began for E-Class. Koro Sensei began the first period of the day with a lecture, and the class paid attention and wrote down as many notes as possible. For Double D, this was no challenge, and he quickly wrote on his paper. But then he was met with a distraction in the form of Eddy.
"Hey, sockhead." The short Ed-boy whispered, leaning over his desk.
"I'm not giving you my notes after class, Eddy." Double D told him with a low voice. Not taking his eyes off the paper in front of him.
"I know, but what's with the giant slab?" Eddy asked, sitting back in his chair and pointing a thumb at AIFA. "How's it supposed to attack with any guns?"
Nagisa, Kayano, and Edric heard the one-sided conversation and turned towards the AIFA. He did make a good point. There was nothing on the artillery. No guns, nothing. All it looked like was a giant black robot. How was it even supposed to serve its purpose as an instrument of war?
While Nagisa and Kayano turned around to continue watching the lecher, Edric was about to too when he saw something that caught his eyes.
On the black screen, a roll of green data started moving into the frame. As if it was processing.
BANG! BANG!
Suddenly, two loud bangs started the classroom, as the right and left side of the machine burst open, causing smoke to blow out from the openings. Then, two large guns, one with four barrels and the other with a single, long barrel extended out on robotic arms. All pointing right at Korosensei.
"There's your answer!" Nagisa exclaimed to Eddy, as they and the classroom were in total shock.
"Holy crap!" Sugino exclaimed.
"Party time!" Ed shouted happily.
The AIFA unleashed a volley barrage of Anti-Sensei BBs at the teacher, causing the students to duck their heads. Koro Sensei quickly used Mach 20 speed and invaded the BB's, as they hit the board and wall. It was impossible to even determine where he was with all the duplicates of himself he made.
"Four shotguns. 2 machine guns. Veritable cascade of Anti-me BBs." The teacher said dodging all the BBs. "I applaud your preparedness, young lady, but out of concern for someone shooting their eye out, I'm afraid use of firearms during class is strictly prohibited. Chyeah!"
He stopped at the last bullet, hitting away with his chalk. The AIFA retracted her guns, before showing her human face.
[Understood. The next attack will be aimed more carefully.] She then started processing data again. Her body started glowing, as the lights from the hardware and circlets glowed.
"This is not good." Double D groaned. If his hypothesis about the AIFA turned out to be correct, and the true capabilities of her were about to be seen, then the classroom was in serious trouble.
[Recalculating trajectory. Modifying the angle of fire. Switching to self-evolving phase 52802.]
"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk." Koro Sensei said with his head having the green stripes. "Stubborn, aren't we?"
The AIFA brought out her guns again and opened fire.
"An Identical attack? Really? What else can I expect from a computer? You realize that defending myself under these circumstances is child's play." Koro Sensei began dodging again. This time more easily as he hits another BB away with his chalk.
SPLAT!
Then it happened, his second finger was blown right off, and splattered all over the board.
As the chalk fell down, the class could only watch with eyes wide and glued to the detached finger. They were paralyzed and confused by what had just occurred. Koro Sensei sweated and was now starting to get worried.
Finally, the chalk hits the floor and breaks in half.
"Now I see, it was a blind spot, following the same attack used earlier, she added on more bullets in a way that prevented him from seeing it." Double D whispered. He then looked back at the AIFA. "Then my hunch was correct."
Eddy, however, wasn't all that happy about almost being shot at and glared at the computer.
"WARN US THE NEXT TIME YOU DO THAT!" He yelled.
"AND AFTER CLASS, NO LESS!" Edric yelled also.
[Left fingertip destroyed.] The machinesaid, as it retracted her guns. All the students could do was stare at her. [Newly added secondary gun effective. Probability of neutralizing target with the third attack: less 0.001%. Probability of neutralizing target with the fourth attack: less than 0.003%. Probability of neutralizing before graduation is more than 90%.]
This seemed to frighten Koro Sensei.
[Be advised, the third attack is commencing now, Korosensei.]
With a preprogrammed smile, the 'transfer student' began preparations for her next attempt. She then resumes firing the Anti-Sensei BB as Koro Sensei keeps on dodging them in Mach 20. The student stayed under their desk from the barrage of high speed BBs flying in the classroom.
[Confirmed hits: one. Recalculating prior estimates. Deploying additional four main guns.] AIFA then brought out more guns from her body. [Resume attack with supplemental firepower.]
AIFA continued on for the whole period, firing at Koro Sensei until the first period ended.
(4th Wallbreak)
"Okay, I know I said this a couple times. But everyone here underestimates the new student." Edric said, looking at AIFA. "Scratch that, more like a killer robot that will do what's absolutely necessary to accomplish their mission. Humans be damned!"
When the first period was finally over, the entire floor was littered with the BBs fired by the artillery. And guess what ,the students were cleaning after the machine's mess.
"Ugh, awesome. Now we get up to clean up the mess." Maehara complained.
As Eddy and Ed helped with a few of their male classmates in cleaning up, the others were in the back. They gathered around the AIFA as Double D started explaining.
"You see, what we are dealing with here is not just an autonomous computer, but a learning one as well." Double D started, having a panel in the back of the black machine open to observe its inside workings. "A self-evolving fixed gun platform."
"So, it's able to learn and adapt." Edric asked with his arms crossed. "Meaning that the octopus's usual tricks aren't going to work this time. Typical AI computer."
"Who cares!" Eddy exclaimed as he and a few of the boys worked together to hold up Ed and carry him around, using him like a vacuum cleaner. Ed didn't mind at all and started sucking up the BB's. "Turn her off!"
"I'm afraid I can't, Eddy." Double D told him. Eddy walked over, thinking that he was having to do it himself. He then started to reach for the AIFA's inside.
"Oh, please. It can't be that—" Eddy mocked until–
BZZZT!
He was immediately zapped by a powerful electric shock. So powerful that he was sent flying back into the wall. Damaging it while leaving an impression of his body in it as he was stuck.
"That's why I can't." Double D told his friend.
"Look, all we can do is hope that this was the last time she'd do this." Maehara said.
"Dude, it's a machine." Edric points out. "It was only programmed to kill Koro Sensei under the pretense of a student of E-Class. It will not stop until the mission is done. It doesn't care about us in the slightest."
(Second Period)
All was normal as the second-period class started. But it didn't last long before the A.I.F.A. started firing.
(Third Period)
All was normal as the third-period class started. But it didn't last long before the A.I.F.A. started firing, again.
(4th Wallbreak)
"Like I told the class. It never stopped. The mechanized transfer student's attack continued throughout the entire day." Edric said before sighing. "Yare yare."
(Next Day: Class 3-E)
The Eds walked into the classroom. After what happened yesterday, they were now wearing construction helmets on their heads. Provided to them by Double D. But when they stepped into the room, they came to a sudden halt.
They saw Terasaka wrapping the AIFA in duct tape.
"What are you doing?" Edric asked. The four walked towards him.
"What do you care, freak?" Terasaka rudely retorted with a glare.
The Eds quickly held Edric back as he tried to lunge at and attack the big kid with Lake Kiryu out. An action that startled some of the other kids.
"You got a problem with me, teme!? Maybe one hit from Lake Kiryu wasn't enough for ya, hah!?" He snapped, Yada and Kanzaki ran over to help calm him down. Placing a hand on his chest and giving him a pleading look. They stopped when the door opened and Koro Sensei walked into the room.
"Alright, let's not fight." The octopus said, wanting to not have a fight on his hands…eh, tentacles. "Terasaka, I think you should apologize to Edric."
But Terasaka didn't. He only glared at the octopus, the Eds, then walked back to his desk. Edric scrowled at the bully as he put Laky Kiryu back.
[0800 hours, 29 minutes and 35 seconds. All systems ready. Power supply voltage, stable. Operating system, normal. Recording disc, normal. Various devices, normal. No viruses detected. Program, start. Verifying tasks. Today's agenda: accrue attack incidence of 250 units before commencement of 6th period. Continue ongoing analysis of targets' evasive patterns.] AIFA said, as she started to turn on. Her face appeared, seeing most of the students sitting, with the exception of the Eds and Yada. She then tried to open and deploy her guns, but the duct tape kept its hold and kept her doing so. [Koro Sensei, I cannot take out my guns in these restraints. I must ask that you remove them.]
The students looked towards Koro Sensei, hoping that he wouldn't actually do it. The last thing they wanted was another event like yesterday.
"Hrmm." Koro Sensei scratched his head. "I don't know if that's a good idea."
[Are you the agency responsible, sir? These restraints are likely to cause harm. Clearly, you are in direct violation of your agreement.] AIFA started to tell the teacher until Terasaka spoke out.
"Shut up!" Terasaka yelled and threw the roll of tape at the robot, hitting her body. "It was me! Nothing said I can't give you a hard time. Especially if you're going to be a pain in the ass and shoot up the place every two seconds."
"Why bother explaining it to a machine?" Sugaya mockingly asked. "She can't understand."
"It's nothing personal." Sumire said, taking a more kindhearted approach. "We'll free you after class is over."
"You brought this on yourself." Sugino said. "I mean, we're trying to learn here, too. Give you core programming a rest."
Having calmed down and had his friends let him go, Edric looked towards the AIFA with a dead eye expression.
"I don't know if you'll understand since you're a machine. You're here as a student of E-Class. If you aren't gonna comply and cooperate with us, then you have no right to be here with us assassins." He said to her, as the AIFA shared with one of her eyes covered by the duct tape.
(Later that night)
After the classes were over and the students went home for the night, AIFA, now out of the duct tape, was attempting to contact her creators for their advice to fix its problems with the students.
[Autonomous Intelligence Fixed Artillery to headquarters: Execution of 2nd day's task delayed indefinitely due to unforeseen problems. Probability of rectifying problems independently: 0%. Probability of achieving assassination goal by the fixed deadline: significantly decreased. Requesting immediate assistance.] AIFA said.
"Don't go crying to mommy and daddy." Koro Sensei placed his tentacle hand on top of the A.I.F.A, and her human face appeared. "They're the ones that got you into this pickle. Besides, like Edric said this morning, you're a student. A transfer student at that. Which makes you my responsibility. I realize that it's no picnic being the new kid, but if we can just find a way to make the other boys and girls warm up to you…"
[What do you mean?] AIFA asked.
"Can you appreciate why the other boys and girls are foiling your assassination attempts?" Koro Sensei asked the A.I.F.A. "For starters, they are here to learn, and your methods are enormously disruptive. For another, if you happened to succeed. The reward money would go to your 'parents', not to them. So, letting you kill me has no upshots for them whatsoever."
[I believe I'm beginning to understand Koro Sensei. It seems that I have not been adequately factoring in my classmates' interests.] AIFA said. This brought out a giggle from Koro Sensei.
"Nurufufufu. You are a fast learner." He then brought out a rectangular device from his back. "Not to worry, my dear. I have just the thing for you. Additional RAM and cache of helpful apps. All virus free, rest assured. You're gonna love this!"
A moment later, Koro Sensei had hooked up the back of the AIFA's body. Soon, the device went to work on improving her system and she was able to see the kids in their seats in the daytime, with Koro Sensei at the front of the classroom.
[Explain.] AIFA said, a bit confused about the software installed in her system.
"Teamwork simulation software, designed to help you bond with your fellow classmates. Cooperation is key, you understand. We want that probability rate up!"
[Accepted.]
"In general, working well with others is an important ingredient to personal success. Think of it, wouldn't you enjoy having friends?" Koro Sensei asked.
[I do not know how to make them.] AIFA said. Koro Sensei disappeared and then reappeared with a medium-sized crate. It was overfilled with tools and various other items that were unrelated to each other.
"Well, as you can see, I came prepared!" Koro Sensei said.
[What is all this, sir?] AIFA asked.
"Everything you need to be a team player, and then some. Koro Sensei does not subject his students to harm. But what sort of teacher would I be if I didn't enhance your innate capabilities?" He told her, pulling out a few tools. He opened AIFA's back fully and started working his magic in its systems. "Top of the mornin' to ya."
[I do not understand why you are doing this, sir. Any enhancements you give me will only shorten your lifespan.] AIFA said.
"So be it then. I'm a teacher first, target second." Koro Sensei told her. "From the moment you opened fire on me yesterday, I knew that unquenchable thirst for knowledge was something I simply had to nurture. Your parents installed, uh, instilled, rather, many a marvelous gift. As your teacher, it's my job to develop those gifts even further. Once the other children have taken a liking to you, your whole world view will change. Count on it."
[Question, sir.] AIFA said, before pulling up a map of the world with a few locations pinned out and having food pictures near them. [What function is served by this directory of sweets from around the world?]
"Nyaa! Uh, well, uh, nothing specific, really. I just thought you would help me out with something, too!" Koro Sensei squealed, knowing he's been figured out so quickly.
(Next day: Class 3-E)
The next day came, and school was about to begin. The weather of the day was as average as any other day.
"I can't keep doing this." Edric whined with his head thrown back. Dragging his feet as he walked to the door. The Eds were once again walking with Nagisa and Sugino. "If that thing is gonna do the same crap again, I'll smash it to pieces."
"I can see that." Nagisa said, agreeing with his overly dramatic friend.
"Come now, gentlemen. Sure, the AIFA is proving to be much more disruptive than we initially thought, but…" Double D said to try and encourage them. At that point, his positive smile dropped, and his expression turned into a tired, worn-out face that stretched down. Why even bother trying. "Oh, who am I kidding. I lost so much note taking because of her."
"Think we should go and complain to Karasuma sensei?" Sugino asked as they reached the E-Class door.
"Yes, we should!" Eddy exclaimed, throwing his hands up. He then grabbed the door and started to open it. "I don't want to…"
Eddy's rant came to a complete stop, and he was left in a speechless and confused state. The others saw this and looked at what he was staring at.
The AIFA was still in the room, but there was a difference. She was wider and bigger than before. As if someone placed another one of her against the original body. And her screen was now the full length of her body.
"Is it me, or does she look…like, bigger?" Sugino asked.
The screen turned on, and they were met with a real surprise. The screen now showed the viewer the human face of the AIFA, now with a full body that showed her wearing the standard issued winter uniform. And her eyes were now light blue filled with life, instead of her previous lifeless red eyes. With a sunny day and a forest in the back background, the girl greeted them with a very cute and happy smile.
"A-ha! Good morning, everybody! Hi, there! Heh!" She asked with a short giggle.
The Eds, Nagisa, and Sugino screamed in shock, disbelief, and just about anything that was in that category. All except for Ed, who waved and said with a smile.
"Hello!" Ed greeted her back.
"Absolutely beautiful day today, huh?" AIFA asked.
"What…am I looking at?" Eddy asked. Koro Sensei walked over to them, as they were standing in front of the AIFA.
"I felt it might improve relations between your kids if I gave our friend here a full-body LCD display. I threw in some uniform modeling software, too, and all for cheaper than you might think." He explained to the kids in the classroom.
"Yeah, that's great and all, but seriously!" Edric exclaimed, before wildly gesturing to the full-screen. "What's with her, Ero Sensei?! She's all too…lively. Like Tama but all personality in a box!"
"And I have to say, the only thing better than this glorious morning is sharing it with you!" AIFA said, still in a happy and chipper mood, turned towards the artificial wind as it blew in her hair.
"Maybe more than Tama!" Edric retorted, referencing the maid robot from his favorite series.
"I also gave her a broader range of expressions. The memory to run it wound up costing me a tad bit over what I'd budget for, but well worth the expense." Koro Sensei tells more.
Nagisa looked at him with white eyes and some sweat on his face and—defying the laws of physics—his hair. The AIFA had evolved in a strange direction. But seriously, how does a teacher drop that kind of coin on a transfer student?
"Things are going to be a little tight until payday." Koro Sensei freaked out, holding only a 5 yen coin. "Yikes!"
"Should we go ahead and roll to the next scene?" Edric asked, turned his head and looked at the audience with a raised eyebrow.
(Next scene)
"The flowers are in bloom, the grass is turning that special shade of green." AIFAsaid, as she held up her hand. An artificial bird landed on her finger and she was admiring it. "Spring has done its work, and now passes the torch on to a marvelous Summer."
"I'm seeing it." Edric muttered, as he turned his torso to look at the AIFA in continuous disbelief. He wasn't the only one. All the other classmates of E-Class were staring right at the machine. "But I still can't believe it."
"I know what you mean." Yada said, looking at her with the dead fish eye boy. "It's hard to see her as the same artillery that wrecked the room."
"It's like she got cuter overnight!" Okajima blushes at AIFA's cute personality. "How is that even possible?"
"Thank Ero Sensei and his teacher's salary." Edric commented. But in the back of the room, Terasaka was glaring in annoyance at the others.
"Don't be fooled, guys. She's still just a computer. The octopus might've given her an upgrade, but that's all. Her acting nice doesn't mean squat. Nah. Once a box of bolts, always a box of bolts. She doesn't have free will!" He told them, as the girl of the AIFA looked at him with a sad and depressed expression. The AIFA then surprised some of the students by rotating her body to have the screen face Terasaka. Showing him her depressed look.
"I see…well…good point. I understand. We didn't get off on the right foot yesterday." She said, as the background changed. Going for a sunny day, the clouds gathered together and grew darker. Thunder was heard in the machine, as the girl grew sadder and tears started to well up. "My fault. You're absolutely right. I am just a box of bolts."
She then burst into tears and covered her crying eyes with her hands. It was now raining heavily in the artificial world. Kataoka and Sumire were standing near the A.I.F.A and were staring at Terasaka with disappointed looks.
"Wow. Way to go, Terasaka." Kataoka said.
"Feel good making a 2-D girl bawl her eyes out?" Sumire asked.
"WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT, I SOUND LIKE A TOTAL DOUCHE!" Terasaka snapped comically at them.
"You are a total douche! Bakayaro!" Edric retorted.
"Maybe I'm only speaking for myself." Takebayashi said, who was sitting behind Ed. He pushed his glass up to his nose, causing them to reflect the glare of light. "But, you ask me, A 3-D girl has nothing on a Double D!"
"That's his first line in this Fanfiction?" Eddy asked, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Why did my name have to be in it?" Double D asked too.
Hey, don't look at me. I'm just a writer.
As for the AIFA, she was wiping away her tears happily. As the computer rain clouds cleared up and the sun started to shine again.
"I'll try harder. I promise. Koro Sensei showed me how to take all your feelings into account and work together." She said, then the girl was brightly smiling at the boys and girls of E-Class, as a rainbow appeared behind her. "So I won't try to assassinate him without you. In fact, I won't do anything unless I have your consent. That way, hopefully you'll come to think of me as a teammate and a friend!"
Edric looked at her for a moment before looking at the others.
"Okay, I'll give it a shot." Edric said.
"You are?" Kayano asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Sure. If she wants to do it, then more power to her." Edric shrugged, leaning on his desk. "I'm giving her a chance. But if she goes back to her original settings then I'm smashing her."
"Thank you, Edric," Koro Sensei said, happy to hear him giving the AIFA a chance despite what he last said. "Hear that. She's trying very hard, so be nice. And don't be deceived. Beneath that sunny disposition and that adorable willingness to please, her bloodlust is perfectly intact. I made sure of that."
"OKAY! THAT SOUNDS MORE LIKE TAMA NOW!" Edric shouted comically.
"Yay!" AIFA cheered while deploying her guns, nearly hitting Sumire.
"If you still want to kill me, and who doesn't?" Koro Sensei said, spreading his smile even further as a variety of tools popped out between his teeth. "I have no doubt this young lady will make a formidable ally."
(4th Wallbreak)
"Koro Sensei really had no limits. He just gave a machine the ability to be a proper student and make friends." Edric said, looking at AIFA. "She's beginning to be like Tama by the minute, in a way."
(First Period)
The class began, and Koro Sensei began a lesson on the anatomy of the human eye.
"The retina is comprised of long, thin rods and short, fat, what? Anyone?" He said, after drawing out a diagram of an eye with labels on its parts and their functions. Looking at the class for the answer, he pointed at Sugaya "Sugaya! You know this!"
"Huh? Me?" Sugaya groaned. He was asleep at first, but woke up when he heard his name being called.
"Answer without peeking at your textbook, please." Koro Sensei tells him.
"Wait, I…Uh-oh." Sugaya slightly panicked. He hardly paid attention to lecture classes. Why out of all of the students was he called? "Huh…?"
But then he caught something out of the corner of his eye. Sugaya looked and saw that AIFA had written the answer—cones—on her thigh and was deliberately showing him it. There was even an arrow pointing to the answer, and she gave him a wink and a finger.
"Uh, I think the answer is cones?" Sugaya answered, more like he questioned. But of course, Koro Sensei saw it and was steamed.
"Excuse me, Autonomous Intelligence Fixed Artillery! No slipping him the answer!" Koro Sensei scolded her.
"I'm so sorry! I was only trying to endear myself to my fellow classmates, sir." AIFA said.
"By helping them cheat?!" Koro Sensei retorted, making AIFA flinched.
(Lunch Period)
AIFA then continued to further impress the class during the lunch break. She did this by creating a miniaturized version of the Venus de Milo. Double D was inspecting it with a large magnifying glass, marveling at its preciseness, craftsmanship, and its high attention to details.
"Astonishing!" He exclaimed joyfully with a big grin. The smart Ed-boy and some of the other students of the class were gathered around the artillery as she showed them what she was capable of. "It's an exact replica!"
Even Okano and Kurahashi were looking at each other in amazement.
"So, you can even make something like this inside that body of yours?!" Kurahashi asked.
"Yeah. See, I come installed with a special 3-D printer I use to manufacture guns." A.I.F.A said, as she also played against Chiba in a chest game. "The cool thing is that I can pretty much make whatever with it, though."
"I'm impressed. Nice." Sugaya commented.
"So awesome!" Yada beamed. You should totally try making flowers!"
"Especially since Ed ate the last ones she and I planted, again!" Edric complained. Ed burped out some pedals of the very same flowers he ate.
This immediately got Eddy to hack an idea in his brain. With a large, toothy grin, he opened his mouth to say something, but Ed stepped in and interrupted him.
"Can you make a pie and hit me with it?" Ed asked. Annoyed, Eddy grabbed the big boy's nose and pulled and stretched it away from Ed's face.
"That's stupid!" Eddy lets go of the nose, and just like a rubber band, went all the way back to hit Ed in between the eyes. "Can you make Jawbreakers?! Japanese flavored Jawbreaker!?"
"Knock it off, Eddy." Edric scolded the short Ed-boy, grabbing him by the ear and yanking him away. Eddy glared and rubbed his ear. "Besides, as much as I would love a Jawbreaker, I don't think she'll be able to make them like they do in Peach Creek."
"There's a difference?" Yada asked, standing near the AIFA, as the computer girl stared at him with a tilt of her head.
"Oh yeah!" Edric's lips curled to his ears in a big grin. "We're talking about candy the size of bowling balls. Every kid in the Cul-de-Sac loved those Jawbreakers, and they were the whole reason we tried to scam the other kids."
GACHA!
Nagisa heard something from behind. So, he turned around. Koro Sensei froze when he saw Nagisa staring at him, as he was about to make a stealthy exit out the window.
"What are you doing?" Nagisa sweatdropped.
"I-I was going to ah…get something really quick." Koro Sensei stuttered.
"Would this something just so happen to be in America?" Edric asked rhetorically, knowing full well that he was going to go to the Candy Shop. "In a town called Peach Creek? In a candy shop near a place called Rethink Avenue?"
The teacher stood still for a moment with a few drops of sweat on his big, yellow head. Koro Sensei then speeded away.
WHOOSH!
"That couldn't lead to anything good." Double D said, after shielding his eyes from the wind that was blown back at him and the others.
"By the way." Kataoka said as she smiled at the AIFA. "Why don't we come up with a better name for her. Autonomous Intelligence Fixed Artillery just sounds weird."
"Huh?" This surprised the computer girl. She looked at the other students as they started thinking up a name for her.
"You got that right." Yada said.
"Let me think…" Sumire thinking of one too.
"I got one!" Edric said, getting the class's attention. "Let's call her Tama Autonomous Intelligence Fixed Artillery Ultra Instinct! Or Tama AIFAUI for short!"
"That sounds even weirder than her original!" Nagisa shouted.
"Where the heck do you get Tama from?!" Maehara retorted.
"Why add Ultra Instinct to her name?!" Sugino shouted.
"You guys don't get it." Edric said, taking out a profile of Tama from Gintama out of nowhere. "Tama AIFAUI is similar to the robot maid, Tama. Explosive firepower. Artificial Intelligence. We just need a Japanese maid outfit, a robot body, and a flamethrower broom. Then we'll have our own Tama."
"That's stupid!" Eddy retorted.
"You already started calling her that?!" Nagisa retorted.
"We totally agree!" Takabayashi and Okajima gave a thumbs up to Edric's proposal.
Many girls and some boys were sweatdropped by Edric random antics all of the sudden. Kanzaki smiled, as she already saw this side of him but is still getting used to it. Yada doesn't know whether to smack him for thinking of such a thing or taking a mental note of it for later.
"Yeah, we're not using that." Kataoka said, making Edric grumble in disappointment.
"What's 'Autonomous' in Japanese?" Fuwa asked.
"Jiritsu." Yada told her.
"Yeah! Ritsu!" Fuwa exclaimed with a smile.
"I like it!" Ed smiled.
"Worst name ever." Chiba disagreed with the name.
"Hey!" Fuwa turned her head to him. "No, it's adorable."
"Ritsu…" AIFA muttered.
"You cool with us calling you that?" Maehara asked, as he and the other students that were around the AIFA looked at her with smiles. After a second to think about it, 'Ritsu' beamed a happy smile at the others.
"Yeah! Yeah, I love it! Thank you!" Ritsu thanked them. "Call me Ritsu from now on!"
"I still think we should call her Tama AIFAUI." Edric muttered.
"Well, Tama AIFAUI is a mouthful." Yada said.
That led Edric to sulk and walk over to where Karma was sitting at his desk. Nagisa soon came over to join them in a conversation.
"She might fit in after all." Nagisa said.
"Hmm… Well, maybe." Karma said, getting him puzzled looks from both of the other boys. The three then watched as the students crowded around her, forward intrigued by Ritsu. "Terasaka still has a point. This new personality is a programming quirk, nothing more. The machine doesn't have free will. Where she goes from here…Well, that's essentially not up to us. It's up to whoever made her."
"Well, shit." Edric muttered, now getting irritated.
(4th Wallbreak)
"Well, I'll go straight to the point." Edric looked at the readers with a slight grunt. "Ritsu's creator came that night and didn't like the upgrade Koro Sensei gave to her. So they get rid of it, anything that's not related to assassination is irrelevant. What they say is law to her and nothing to it. They didn't even consider the students. To them, we're all just tools to complete their goals. Those government fucks."
(Next Day: Class 3-E)
The next day came, and Ritsu's body was turned back to how it was the day before. The small screen turned on to show Ritsu's head.
[Good morning, classmates. How are you?] She said in her monotone voice.
The students sweatdropped. She really was now back to her old self.
"So they did it after all." Edric groaned and hit his head on his desk.
"Word came down from her inventors just last night. Upgrades will be considered a breach of your agreements not to harm a student." Karasuma said to Koro Sensei, getting the attention of the other students. The agent then turned to Terasaka. "And as for you. Tie her up again, and you're paying damages. Because if we break it, we buy it."
The big kid scuffed and looked away.
"Oh, come on!" Eddy yelled angrily, slamming his hands on the desk. "Without the 'happy-be-nice-to-us' chip, she's just going to shoot up the place again!"
"I'm sorry. That's the way things are now. I have no choice." Karasuma said with closed eyes.
"This is the word of her inventors, is it?" Koro Sensei scratched his head. "Since when have I been in the business of appeasing parents? My students' needs come first."
But nonetheless, the class started. But all thoughts were less on Koro Sensei's lecture and more on the machine. The Eds kept their heads forward, but they knew, just like everyone else, that Eddy was right. Ritsu's been downgraded, that could only mean that today was going to be another constant, day-long barrage all over again. Edric's anger boiled at the thought of those inventors along with the government. Those cold hearted fools will do absolutely what it means even if the class were to be used as tools to them.
Then Ritsu's body lights up.
"Here we go." Edric grumbled as he gripped Lake Kiryu. Now that Ritsu went back to AIFA, she's no longer a student to him. She's nothing more than a tool, a means to an end once it completes her mission.
The sides pop open, Edric gets ready to smash her to pieces. When he say he's gonna do it, he will do it. Damn the consequences!
Here it comes!
…but it never happened.
What came next, shocked all of the students. When nothing happened, the Eds sans Edric—who ducked underneath their tables—emerged from underneath them and were surprised by what they were seeing too. Edric stopped his attack and lowered down Lake Kiryu.
The four arms of the robot were holding guns that were going to shoot Koro Sensei. Instead, they were each a large amount of four types of flowers.
[You wanted me to make flowers, didn't you?] AIFA asked. Edric and Yada glanced at one another.
"Oi…Ritsu y-you actually made them?" Edric asked in shock.
[And that's not all. Look in your desks, Ed, Edd, Eddy, and Edric.] AIFA tells them. The four friends shared a glance, wondering what she meant by that. Deciding that it was best to go ahead, they each looked in decks.
Edric gasped and reached into his deck. He then attempted to pull out what he grabbed. But it got stuck. So, he gave it a yank. Everyone gasped loudly as they witnessed the scar boy and his friends each pull out monstrous, bowling-ball sized Jawbreakers.
"Jawbreaker!" Ed yelled with pure joy, before astonishing the normal kids even more by actually putting it in his mouth. Causing one of his cheeks to inflate as it held the candy.
Eddy and Edric had already put their candy in their mouths, but Double D tried as best as he could to restrain himself. Instead of marveling at the giant candy on his desk.
"R-Ritsu, you shouldn't have." The smart-boy responded, rubbing his hands around the Jawbreaker. "But…how did you do this? I thought you were downgraded."
[When Koro Sensei upgraded me, he made a total of 985 improvements to my functionality. My masters determined approximately 95% of these improvements to be irrelevant to my purpose and deleted them. But after analyzing the effectiveness of cooperation, I calculated that the highest probability of success would be achieved by maintaining these improvements. Ergo, I hid what I could in an area of my memory left untouched by the purge.]
"Outstanding!" Koro Sensei proudly exclaimed with joy. "Ritsu, does that mean…?"
"Yep! I have free will! And, boy, does it feel fantastic!" Ritsu's screen turned on again, and she was back to her joyful self. But then she surprised the class when she opened her eyes, seeing that it was still red but had life in them.
"Uh, Ritsu? Why are your eyes still red?" Double D asked.
"Oh! Actually, I kept as Edric preferred them red." Ritsu replied, the class stared at Edric, who was totally confused.
"Eh?" Edric raised an eyebrow.
"I've looked over the profile he brought in yesterday and it inspired me to make this!" Ritsu then turned off her screen as she opened the back of her body, steam coming out of it. The class were curious about what was happening before they saw a shadowy figure coming out of Ritsu.
When the steam cleared, they're shocked that Ritsu came out of the box. Her image was now in real life and not behind a screen. The only difference is that she had modules like the character Tama from the Gintama series.
"I've made this body based on Edric's profile and Gintama's robot Maid, Tama! It took a while and a lot of research to build this." Ritsu spun around, showing the stunned students her new body. She stopped and looked at Edric. "With this, you'll see me as a classmate, right Edric?"
Edric stared at Ritsu for a moment. At first when she was downgraded, he was about to crush her. But now that she defied her creator's will and went this far, he couldn't help but smile for her.
"Sure, more power to ya." Edric said ,making her happy.
"Wow. Who'da thunk it?" Karma said, surprised.
"Ero Sensei. If my information's right, I think I'm being what they call 'rebellious'. That doesn't make me a terrible person or anything, right?" Ritsu asked.
"Nyuah!" Koro Sensei shrieked upon Ritsu calling him that nickname. "Ritsu, where did you hear that name?!"
"Edric called you that yesterday. So, I thought I should call you that too." Ritsu sheepishly said. But that led to Koro Sensei sobbing in the corner of the classroom.
"Now there's two students calling me that. One was enough…one was enough." He cried. The class sweatdropped before Koro Sensei recovered and zoomed back to his desk. "But as to your other question. No. You're just a Junior High Student. And an exemplary one!"
Koro Sensei turned his face to an orange circle and held his tentacles in a circle. Ritsu then ran to the front of the class as she turned around to face her classmates.
"Allow me to reintroduce myself!" Ritsu said as she bowed to the class. "I'm Ritsu Tama, it's nice to meet you all!"
(4th Wallbreak)
"And so then on, Ritsu Tama joined E-Class as an alley, and the number of friends we had increased. From that moment on, we were now 31 in total. Not how I thought I would have another friend, but I ain't complaining." Edric smiled at the new robot student.
(Cue Silver by RIZE)
{Instrument}
(The scene showed the crescent moon as it zoomed out before it glitched showing Koro Sensei's face in its place. Lake Kiryu was showed as it panned up, Anti-Sensei rifle panning to the left, Anti-Sensei gun spun across the screen, and the EDsasssination Plan Journal panned downward. Back to the moon as glitched again, revealing the E-Class building.)
{Sora o koe yama o koe minato e touhon seisou asa kara ban made}
'Past the sky, over the mountains, city-bound on the go from morning until the night.'
{Toki o kakenukeru ima na o nokose miraieigou sekai no hate made}
'Running through time, leaving our names in this moment.'
(Edric was in a red black-lined shirt and a black yukata with red flames on the bottom holding Lake Kiryu while Yada stood next to him, wearing a blue yukata with floral design. Then Edric is shown in white silhouette, practicing with his sword by the E-Class building while the sun rises and sets. Eddy wore a white millionaire suit counting his money with Nakamura in an elegant dress having a drink. The Eds in whote silhouette were walking home passing by Kunugigaoka Junior High.)
{Wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi Tataka waneba soko de owaru}
'Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! If we don't fight, it all ends right here!'
{Wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi wasshoi Mamoru yatsu ga iru hana ga chiru toki hana wa mau}
'Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! There's something we have to protect, the flowers dance while they fall.'
(The scene split horizontally as Edric appeared on top, then Eddy, Double D, finally Ed. Double D and Okuda are in lab coats as they work with some chemicals. The scene split vertically as Ed appeared, then Double D, Eddy, and Edric. Ed was in his monster costume as he rampaged on a city set while Fuwa recorded it on her phone. Changes to night as the moonlight shows a daisy sprouting from the ground.)
{Ah daiji na mono ga aru Ah Ah kawaranai mono ga aru}
'Ah, I have something important. Ah ah, I have something that doesn't change.'
Yeah! Yeah!
{kimi to ikiru koto kimi o mamoru yo}
I'll live on with you, I'll protect you.
I'm here to fight for you…Today!
(Nagisa was in a dress, much to his chagrin, while Kayano was trying out girly accessories on him as the scene zoomed out. E-Class does their regular shooting on Koro Sensei as he dodges them on Mach 20. Koro Sensei flew across the ocean before he sped up close to the screen as he gave his signature laughter.)
{Bakurai sairai kendo juurai}
'The bombs going off again, let's try twice as hard again'
{Bakurai sairai kendo juurai}
'The bombs going off again, let's try twice as hard again'
(The scene goes back to Lake Kiryu panning down as the Anti-Sensei rifle appeared and intersecting it. The spinning Anti-Sensei Gun and the Edsassination Journal appeared as they intersect the two. Then they stopped at each corner as the title appeared in the middle.)
Next Time: EDsassination #11 - The ED's L and R Time