Alright people, this is a crack fic. I haven't written one in years and I really need to write one now, just for my own enjoyment purposes but hopefully for yours too. The chapters will all be short stories and will be completely random. This first one is only about a hundred words but some will be longer. Let's not even pretend that the characters will be in character because they most likely won't be. I'd like to apologize in advance for anyone who feels offense or that I'm offending Tolken or anything through this. I assure that isn't my intention, I'm just bored and I need to unwind.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings or anything else I might mention.
Randomness the first: Death to the Fan Girl
Legolas walked coolly through the dank dungeon-like passages of Helms Deep with Gimily at his side. Just as he was about to ascend the stone steps to take his place on the wall a young blonde woman threw herself at him, wrapping her arms securely around his neck.
"Legolas, OMG! I totally luv U!"
Suddenly she fell backwards with a bloody arrow protruding from her forehead. Gimli stared in shock.
"Legolas! WT—" Gimli cut himself off as Legolas turned towards him, knocking another arrow.
"So help me, finish that acronym and you will be next." Gimli nodded his understanding and together they stepped over the girl and began climbing the stairs.